Future in the Eyes
by Lunaschild2016
Summary: He wasn't supposed to fall in love and it sure as hell wasn't supposed to be the Stiff's little sister. Eric fell hard for Elle Prior the moment she rounded the corner with a gun in her hands and fire in her eyes. Elle experiences loss, love and heartbreak all while finding her place in Dauntless. How long will Eric stay in the shadows waiting for her to see him? Eric/OC AU T
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: [Edited and Revised for grammatical errors]: I have been tossing around an idea of a sibling for Tris for a while now. This will be AU and for sure a slow burn. Eric is going to be a bit OOC. Let me know what you think if you could. I appreciate feedback and if this is something I should continue.**

 **Disclaimer: I own Elle and my plot.**

 **Chapter 1**

"Elle!" My Mother's voice called for me frantically as I heard scuffles coming up the stairs. She burst into my room before I could answer her or even get up.

"Mom?" I popped up, my forehead furrowed.

"Elle, get dressed in this. Hurry baby girl. They will be here soon. I have to get you out of here." My mother started shoving grey pants, grey boots and a long sleeved gray sweater to me. Not the normal grey clothes a girl for Abnegation would wear openly. I only wore that when she was training me to join my sister.

"Mom, what is going on?" I ask worriedly but am already pulling on the clothes.

I hear my father as he stomps up the stairs. My normally unflappable Father, whose eyes are wide and filled with pain. "Natalie I have to start trying to wake others and get them out."

My parent's share a look of pain and are almost saying goodbyes before they embrace. I feel the hairs stand up on my arms at that and then he comes and engulfs me in his arms. "I love you Electa. Always remember that. Listen to your Mother and go get to safety."

I clutch to him. "I love you Dad. Please what is going on?"

My Dad's eyes turn dark and his face goes hard. "Erudite has armed the factionless as an army. They are coming to wipe us out and take any divergents. Baby girl, you need to get to safety. Hopefully Dauntless comes soon. Tris will find you once things have settled. We are going to try and get you to Amity. I love you all." With that he kisses us and walks away quickly.

I hurriedly finish getting ready but we can already tell it might be too late. The sound of gunfire approaching has already begun. I should be terrified and ready to run but that sound has enraged me.

I look into my mother's eyes and I can see the same. "Baby girl." She whispers and I shake my head.

"You can't ask me to just leave everyone and not try Mom." My chin raises and my back is straight. There is a reason I was being trained by my Mom, Sister, her fiance and their friends to fight, shoot and throw knives. I may be divergent in aptitude but I have always been Dauntless.

With a sigh and a nod my Mom takes my hand and then we set out. The children are the goal and we manage to get some of the ones nearer us away and to a little known cellar in the meadow. It used to be part of a house that had been torn down and the meadow grew over it. There is only a small brick wall surrounding it to mark its location.

I hear more gunfire and look to the oldest, not even twelve. "Keep everyone in and quiet. I will come back with more soon." I command her and then move to go join my Mom again. She had already moved off to try and gather more people or children.

I hear feet pounding as I hug the buildings. I am clutching one of our larger kitchen knives as a weapon and cursing that we had left all of my throwing knives with Zeke and Four.

I hear the sounds of a scuffle and look around the corner in time to see my Mom wrestling with a factionless. His look is so blank as they wrestle. Without thinking I take the knife and throw. I am aiming straight for his head.

It embeds with a sickening thunk and my Mom's eyes snap to mine. "Elle." She grabs the gun from his hands and runs to me. "We have to go" Her eyes are red rimmed and I know in that moment that I have already lost my father.

I nod and walk over to the now dead man. Intending to pull the knife from his head. I am unable to do so and I end up just looking down at him. My face must look a fright with how blank it is. I can't force myself to feel anything right now. Most Erudite have this ability but I have always had it too. I can put myself into a place where I show nothing and to feel nothing.

"Baby girl we need to go no…" A shot rings through the early morning and cuts her off. My eyes snap to my mother and I see red blooming from her chest.

"Mom!" I cry and drop with her. She gives me a sad smile and drops the gun.

"Run baby." She says before her eyes close and I feel rage unlike I have ever known blind me even with my tears. It breaks through that wall I am always able to put up. All I see is rage.

I grab the gun and spin firing as I do so. Moving between buildings I fire at anyone I see raising a gun to one of my faction. Until I finally come to the Eaton house and I see Jeanine Matthews with two Erudite men and two factionless standing outside. They have Marcus on his knees and I can't hear what they are saying but it must not be good because he is pleading and begging.

I don't care about saving the monster that is supposed to be a great leader of our faction. If anything I want to take him out just as badly. I care about taking out every last one of those that have killed my family. I also know I can't take the chance to do what I so want to do, crave to do. I have to get back to the others I have sent to the cellar.

I am rooted there for the moment. My finger poised on the trigger debating on pulling it and putting one in her damn head. It is too far and I need to go. It would expose my position and I have others to think about. I move quickly and avoid the area where my mother fell. I will go back but not now. I might break if I do.

"Electa!" I hear the cry of Susan Black as she pulls me into her arms and tries to pull me down the stairs.

"Susan, keep everyone back. I have to guard the door. Keep everyone quiet." I shake my head and push her back to join the other. There is more gunfire, but it sounds like returned gunfire now. Dauntless. "Keep them back Susan!" I hiss and I am off running.

I know I need to stay. I should stay and protect them but my body is already almost on autopilot. My sister and Dauntless family might be out there though and I have already lost so much.

I am moving along using the same pattern of movement to make my way around buildings. Every bit of training that Four and Zeke have been drilling in me on how to move during combat and fire is running through my mind and muscle memory. The first gun I had is out of ammo. I had already blown through it as I encountered a few more factionless and Erudite with the same blank look and guns in their hands. I pick up another MP5 from a dead factionless. I round another corner and head to the last place I saw Jeanine Matthews. This time I won't hesitate.

"What the fuck!" I hear a deep growl being directed at me.

I had rounded a corner with my weapon raised to be met by two Dauntless men with their own raised at me but four in total. The other two are covering the rear of the first two. I scowl at them but don't lower the weapon. One has tattoos of a leader and I focus on him.

"You aren't stopping me. I will tell you that right now. I won't hesitate this time and I will put the bullet in her fucking head." I growl, my nostrils flaring and every bit of rage I have coming forth. I move forward to keep going.

"Stiff, you aren't going anywhere. You will lower that weapon and tell me what the fuck you think you are doing." His eyebrow quirks and his steel grey eyes glare me down trying to make me cower. Sucks for him I have never been able to do that. I don't back down very well.

"What am I doing? I am going to kill the bitch that just caused me to become a fucking orphan. I am fighting to keep the 30 kids I just smuggled away from this shit safe. And pray they don't join me in losing their fucking parents. What are you doing besides wasting my fucking time?" I growl and motion him to move aside.

I see his eyes flash with anger but then soften and almost flash with admiration. "She's already gone Stiff. We got her. I am sorry about your family. But we need to clear the area. Will, you and Edward canvas the area. Logan with me and we will take the little lioness here to see about her cubs."

My back stiffens at his tone at first. But I can tell him not calling me stiff was about as big of a compliment as I was going to get from someone like him. Something my sister said about a certain leader niggles the back of my mind but I am already moving. I never drop my guard or weapon.

I notice movement heading to the meadow and my heart rate and adrenaline picks up as I break out into a run. Two factionless men and one woman are approaching with guns drawn and I am already firing. A series of control bursts as I fire and run just as Four and Zeke taught me to do.

I drop the woman and have to drop myself as they whip around to take aim. I take a knee as the two Dauntless drop near me. The leader scowling at me but then shakes his head with a look of amusement. "Keep down Lioness, we got this shit." He growls out and then pops up letting off a burst of fire. There is no return fire.

He motions for me to follow and I am in the middle as the other takes the rear. We make it to the cellar and he goes first. I can hear the cries of the children as they see first him and then I come down. They calm at my reappearance.

Susan once again rushes forward to embrace me. I always wondered why she stayed here. She was almost as bad as me about not fitting in. "Elle! I was so worried. The ones you just sent back said you refused to come with them. Mother is furious I let you go. She wants to know where your …."

"Electa Prior." I hear the haughty voice of Mrs. Black as she whips into view. "You put down that weapon this instance. I am sure your Mother and.."

I feel rage explode from me again and wonder why I am not smoldering by now. "Shut it Mrs. Black. My Mother and Father are dead. If you so much as say another word you will see just how much of a sucky stiff I truly fucking am. You wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't taken this weapon and put a bullet in that mans head who had a gun pointed to yours. Don't bring up my parent's again. They are fucking heroes."

I hear gasps from all around me and sobs at the news that my parents are gone. Susan puts her hand on my arm and her eyes are filled with tears. "Elle." She whispers.

"Don't Susan. I won't cry. Not right now. She wouldn't want that. We need to get all of you out of here and to safety. It is what they died trying to do and I will carry out that wish." I choke back my own sorrow now that I have said the words. My chin raises and I swallow then whip around to face the Dauntless men to wait for orders.

The one called Logan looks to the leader. "Eric, we have an all clear. We can start moving everyone out of here and the medics are setting up shop here in the meadow.

Mrs. Black and some of the few other elder members seem to snap out of it and offer to help in the tents and start gathering supplies. True Abnegation actions.

Eric, the leader, never once broke his eyes from mine. He looked to be debating something or searching for something in my eyes. Maybe he was worried I was going to finally break down. He frowned before he sighed. "Radio Control and have them send Prior from her unit to meet us at the tents."

My heart skips at the mention of my sister. Even if only by her last name.

"Tris." I whisper it like a talisman of hope. Her name is like a balm on my wounded heart. I still have family left. I tell myself to focus on that.

Eric nods and comes towards me. "She will meet us at the tents. You can hand over the weapon when we get there." He pauses and moves beside me. His large hand going to the small of my back and propelling me forward. I feel warmth and comfort from it and wonder at that action coming from a hardened soldier.

I am clutching the weapon as if it is holding me up. We make it to the tents and he pushes me down in a chair. Shock finally setting in for me. I feel the gun being taken from my hands and then feel warm hands engulfing mine.

I look to see him crouched in front of me. Holding my eyes with his own. "You did good Elle. Your sister will be here soon but we are going to need to get your statements about what happened. Are you going to be ok? Do you need me to stay?"

I swallow and shake my head. I won't cry or break down. I won't be weak. "No Sir. Thank you for your help. I am sorry about my dis.."

Eric chuckles and shakes his head as he interrupts me. "Don't worry about it. Although it would have been funny to see how you handled the dragon lady in that cellar." My lips twitch at that. He squeezes my hands but before he can speak again I hear my name called. He rises swiftly and his face shutters of all emotions but he stands near me. I feel oddly comforted by his presence to be honest.

My sister and Four, her fiance, rush towards me. Four and Eric are glaring at each other but soon they both are forgotten when Tris pulls me into her arms. I still choke back on my tears. "They are gone Tris. She told me to run but I wouldn't. I couldn't not fight. I heard the first gunshots and I felt rage and she knew I wouldn't leave. She wanted to get me to Amity. If I had gone she would be al…"

Tris shushes me and shakes her head with a sad smile and her eyes shining with held back tears too. "No Elle. Neither of them would have left either. I already know that she felt the same thing when she heard those shots too. Don't….just…" She stops and smooths my hair that had come loose from my ponytail. "We all knew you are just as much Dauntless and a fighter as if you were born into it. We both were. I would have done the same and I know they are proud of you right now. Four heard some initial reports of how many you saved Elle. Forty five kids and fifteen adults all saved by one person. You Elle. You found and defended them. Dad and Mom would be proud."

I take a deep breath and look Tris in the eyes. "I almost didn't stop myself from killing her and him for that matter. They had that sick bastard on his knees and I still wanted to take the shot. I barely pulled myself away so I wouldn't give my position away or the kids. I don't know what happened." My voice wasn't broken up now that I had moved onto the most important part. I wanted to know she was dead for all she had done here.

Tris' lips thinned and she nodded. "Four and I were part of the team that took her down. He was shot before we could get to him though."

"Is she dead?" I growl out and I can tell by her posture the answer to that. "She better not get away with it Tris."

We don't speak anymore about that because I am soon being questioned. I have to start providing my statements and I even have to walk the investigators through my actions. Showing them my kills, some of them I don't even really remember. Tris and Four stick by me for the entire time along with Logan. He seems to be more of a shadow though and not really involved. He did seem very impressed with my skills and shared conversation with Four about my training and what he saw of me when Eric and he had joined me. When we got to the kill with my knife I didn't feel the same numbness from before. I felt regret and pain.

I paused looking at the knife. Evaluating what I had done. How I could have changed things? Four senses this and comes up behind me. "Talk to me Elle. Tell me what you are seeing."

My jaw clenches. "Mom was wrestling with him. She had gotten a few good hits on him so he didn't get a shot off. We needed a weapon anyways because my knife wasn't going to cut it and we didn't have my throwing knives. She didn't want me to have to engage in hand to hand again and I didn't care for the throats I slit." I look at my blood stained clothes for a moment and then my hands, frowning deeply at the blood on all of it.

Logan speaks out in a coaxing manner. "Don't focus on that Elle. Keep going. What happened next."

He and Four are beside me now. "He had her on strength and I moved before I thought. I threw the knife and it landed. She grabbed the gun and came to me but I felt naked without the knife so I went to grab it. I didn't though, I just stood looking at it and him. I don't know why because I didn't feel anything. Mom called my name and said we needed to go and then she was shot. She dropped the gun and fell. She said to run but I didn't. All the walls I had to keep cool broke and I picked up the gun and went killing anything that had a gun raised to one of my faction. I am playing it in my mind and wondering if I hadn't stopped. Even for those few seconds…."

Four's lips thinned and he nodded. "You are more concerned though that you lost your control. I know you Elle and that is what is scaring you right now because you think that is why she is gone."

I nod simply as Tris side hugs me. "You know that isn't true. You know how I feel about those walls you put up. Four understands them and I know the make you hell of capable. But look at what you did when they were down too." She motions to the alley and I see the five men I killed in that rage right after Mom died.

"Maybe Tris. I didn't like the way it felt though when I acted during that rage." I said quietly.

Logan put a hand under my chin and lifted my head. "I get it. We all get it Elle. When this day is over I am going to sit you down and tell you a story. I think it will help. Right now though you need to know your actions saved lives. Let me ask you a question. At any point did you truly enjoy killing anyone? Even in the rage?"

I tilted my head and thought for a moment then shook my head. "No. Not even in rage. Even had it been Jeanine or Marcus I still wouldn't have enjoyed it."

Logan gave me a small smile and nodded. I could see he isn't just trying to placate me. He is speaking as one warrior to another. "That is what matters then. Remember that. For now we need to move out."

After that Logan stays closer to me and I can see Four sharing glances with him. Not worried glances but questioning glances. I think Logan is normally with Eric on most ops or being out in the field. Logan doesn't say why he was assigned protective duty but said he would have done it anyways. He either called me the nickname Eric gave me or Elle with a smile. I knew I had another friend in him.

I don't see Eric again, even though I oddly want to. But from the glares and growls Four and he were sending to each other I am not surprised. It is probably for the best anyways. I remember now that they have some kind of issue with each other. Eric is apparently cruel and for some reason Four hates and doesn't trust him. I can see that being a leader would require someone to be hard, but he didn't seem cruel to me. He could have been very cruel to me but he wasn't. He was worried and encouraging.

We find my Dad near to where Marcus Eaton was killed. It looked like he was killed trying to get a small group of our faction away. He sacrificed himself as a distraction and they were able to get away. My father died how he lived, giving of himself for others. Before they are taken away Tris and I remove the only things we will be keeping of them, their simple silver wedding bands. I already know I am going to tell her and Four use them. It is good to know something of their love survives.

"What is going to happen to me?" I ask Four quietly hours later. We are sitting in the temporary command tent that was set up near the MedTents in the meadow.

Four puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer. "We'll figure it out. Tris is talking to the Leader's now to hopefully make arrangements. Would you want to go with us Elle? Caleb is in contact with us and he says he wants you to come to him in Erudite."

I scowl and shake my head. "There is no way I am going there. I love Caleb but I will not be going to Erudite. I would rather stay here than go there."

Four nods and gives me a small smile. "We'll see what we can do Elle. You know they changed the choosing age. You would have been choosing this year."

I sighed dejectedly and nodded. I am only barely two years younger than my siblings and should be leaving to go to my new home in a matter of months. The change had just been done a month ago. That along with a whole revamping of the testing system. I remember because my parent's had been almost relieved that we wouldn't have to worry about me being found out as divergent. It hadn't mattered. I had ended up on the list anyways. I hadn't been careful enough when taking classes I guess.

The rest of the day for me is spent waiting for arrangements to be made for our parent's and their burial. Arrangements to be made for me on where to stay until I could be placed either in an Abnegation home or with family. Arrangements for testimony in trials should it be needed. I was exhausted by the end of the day and I ended up being told to stay in my own home until things could be put into place.

Somehow there was an allowance for guards to be placed in the area but also in my house. Tris and Four were assigned that position along with Logan. I barely remember eating, showering or changing before I was passed out. I woke up to a soaked pillow so I must have cried during my sleep.

Logan stayed with us during that whole week. Eric even showed up from time to time as we waited. He even took me aside with Logan and had me talk about how I was feeling about the kills I had to make.

I listened to Logan tell the story of his own time when had lost his control after watching a factionless group of men attack a group of unarmed factionless, killing children and all for their canned goods. It helped listening to him talk.

It helped with Eric being there too even though he didn't speak much. He just seemed to be watching me, as if I was some big damn mystery to him.

Caleb came for the funeral and it had been hard to tell him that I would be going with Tris if they could arrange it. He had looked a bit crushed but understood. I would be allowed to visit him and possibly even spend nights in Erudite if I wanted. I didn't tell him that I didn't see that happening anytime in the future.

Three days after the funeral Tris told me that Leadership in Dauntless and Abnegation had signed off on Tris becoming my guardian. I would be going to live with her and Four in Dauntless and officially become an adopted dependant of that faction. I was allowed to pack a small bag of belongings but didn't have much to begin with.

I would be given some kind of funds though because of the attacks and the death of my parents so that I could buy all my new clothes and contribute to my upkeep. Four and Tris had to move to a larger apartment to make room for me and we would be next door to Zeke and Shauna. It felt like coming home but not under the circumstances I would ever have wanted.

I couldn't live in the past and regret though so I made plans. I had two years until my own choosing ceremony. I had promised myself that day in the Med Tent as Eric the leader told me that I had done well, that I would work to become even better. I would train even harder but I wouldn't forget to live and laugh. I would value my family even more because I saw first hand how fragile life can be.

That day Electa Prior died and I became Electra. It was a name my Mom and Dad had smiled at when they helped me to pick it out. The meaning was fiery sun and they had both beamed at that because they had always said I was the ray of light in the family. I took the name so that I would remember I don't have to be dark to be a good soldier and Dauntless.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: [Revised and Edited] Thanks so much for the feedback! I appreciate it, it helps me know if I am going in a good direction with my stories. So again, thanks. Hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

 **Chapter 2**

 _Almost one year later_

I looked at my watch as I stopped the treadmill and moved to the bag I had with all of my equipment and clothes. I grabbed my water bottle and towel, wiping my face and neck quickly before I started to sip from the water bottle.

I had about 45 minutes before I needed to be dressed and meet my sister and Four for dinner. I dreaded this dinner. It was an official meet the boyfriend dinner. Thankfully it was in the dining hall but the downside is that EVERYONE was going to be there. Uri and Zeke were almost as bad as Four when it came to being all overprotective of me. Logan wasn't that far off and he was not happy when he heard who my boyfriend was but refrained from bitching me out like Four did for a good hour or two. No one would say why they didn't like him other than he was a dick and cocky.

I feel arms circle around my waist. I smile and lean into the chest being pressed against my back. "Hey baby." I murmur before turning around and circling my arms around Tyler's waist.

He smiles down at me and kisses my forehead. "Hey babe. I thought I would find you here. You are acting more stressed about this dinner than me."

I nod and chuckle a little. "I can't understand how you are being so calm about all of this. I mean yeah you have met them before, but…" I trail off and shrug.

Tyler shrugs with a cocky smirk. "I am not worried. No one can resist my charms. I certainly wore you down enough to finally get you to say yes."

He gives me a shit eating grin before he kisses me softly. He is right. He spent almost five months being in the gyms and training rooms I was in. Working on trying to get me to even speak to him much less say yes to hanging out.

We have been together for four months now but I had just told Tris and Four last night after it got back to Four that I was making out with someone on a roof. Even if it had only been kissing and some over the clothes exploration. That had not been a fun night. Tris had taken it well but Four almost went supernova.

When we pull away from the kiss I sigh and frown internally. I haven't really felt those butterflies that Tris and Tori say I should be feeling when Tyler and I kiss. It is nice but I don't feel like taking it beyond the kissing and the bit of over the clothes exploring we have done. He doesn't seem to be in a rush to do anymore either. Odd for any other faction besides Abnegation. He was Candor before he transferred. He transferred the class right after my sister, the last one to go through, and is two years older than me as well.

Tyler moves away and grabs my bag for me. "You need to get showered and changed if we want to make it on time. Are you sure it is a good idea to do this at my place?" He frowns, looking worried for the first time.

I laugh and nod. "Four is at work so it is fine and Tris won't care. It isn't like I haven't showered or spent the night there before Ty."

He smirks and scratches the back of his neck. "Yeah well, I don't know. I guess maybe it feels more official now. Before you were always so fucking sneaky about it. Annoyed the hell out of me. But now I don't know what to think."

He takes my hand and we make our way out of the training room and through the hallways. I frown and look at him and voice my worry now. "If you are uncomfortable or don't want…"

He pulls me to a stop in The Pit and looks down at me, interrupting what I was going to say. "Are you kidding? Do you know how long it took me to get you to say yes to a date much less being my girlfriend? I am not chickening out now after all of that work just because your soon to be brother in law might send me death glares. Elle, I asked for the dinner remember?"

I chuckled with a grin. "Oh yeah. How can I forget being told that you and Four got into a stare down in Control when he found out about us. Zeke said you stood up to him rather well."

Tyler shrugs and starts us walking again. "He isn't my instructor anymore and he has nothing to be freaking out about. We got along ok before all this, we will again. What freaked me out was Eric glowering at me though. He didn't say anything but him and Logan standing there was enough to send chills down my spine."

I frown because this is the first I have heard about Eric being involved. "Wait, what? Eric was there? Why?"

Tyler looks at me out of the side of his eye and gives a smirk before he shrugs. "Hell if I know. I just know Four started going off on me and then Logan and Eric show up. Maybe it was just to put Four in his place or make sure he didn't get too out of control."

I shrug but still frown. "Maybe. I still don't get why those two can't just get along. Sure Eric can be a dick but hell every guy in Dauntless can be a dick. Yes, even you Ty."

He chuckles and nods. "Oh, I know. You tell me often enough. I would say I am developing an inferiority complex but that would be a lie. I am too awesome for that."

I roll my eyes. Tyler could be just as big of a dick as Eric, Four and Logan. He was also arrogant as hell and cocky more times than not. He had apparently been a major player before I came along. But he was sweet with me. He had a few issues with trying to tell me what I could do at times but we were getting over that. "Careful Ty. Dauntless may not be able to hold that big head of yours for much longer." I smile at him as he opens his door to allow me in first.

I shower and change quickly. I throw on a pair of low slung distressed black skinny jeans, my favorite thin strapped black tank that has a japanese style dragon curling along the side done in a blood red. I also wear another blood red tank underneath that. My hair I have pulled back in a high ponytail but I braid the sides to make it look more dauntless and edgy. I put on a bit of makeup but keep to just the eyeliner, mascara and a light red lipstick.

I have 6mm black gauges with the plugs being stainless steel with the internal workings of a computer in design. Shortly after I got here I got dermals in a tanzanite stone. It is the same color of my father's eyes as well as my own. The they are in the pattern of the Pleiades constellation right over where my heart would be at the back. The Pleiades constellation has the meaning of heaven and this honored my parents who believed so strongly we would all be reunited there one day.

I never had reservations about being completely Dauntless in dress. The only thing I am saving is the tattoos. Those I will get when I come here as an initiate and member. I already have the designs made up. The dragon on my tank is one of them. I have a few things that I had made into shirts for myself and friends that I have drawn.

I am sitting on the edge of the bed and just pulling on my boots when Ty comes into his room. "You ready babe?" He asks with an appreciative smile at me. "You look amazing Elle."

I blush and shake my head. "Thank you. But it isn't like I haven't worn this before."

He smirks at me. "I meant you look amazing on my bed baby." He almost purrs it and laughs at my blush. He pulls me up and kisses me then pulls back with a little growl. "We have to go or Four will come looking for you."

"They all will Ty. But yes we need to go. I am sort of hungry too. Morning classes were long, then I came straight here and trained." I sighed as he took my hand after I grabbed my bag and we headed out.

"How are the new classes going? I have heard good things about how they are preparing everyone." He asked as we walked alongside me.

I smile at him but am really thinking how proud I am of my sister. She made leader and is working with the other's and the council to make changes to how those that are testing as Dauntless in the early testing period are trained. "Yeah it is pretty damn cool. You know what I start in three months right?"

Tyler frowned and nodded but squeezed my hand. "The Academy is still in this area Elle. It will be fine. Besides, think about. If you do the Academy option then on choosing day you also become a full member. You will have already gone through initiation because of it."

I nod with a smile. "I know. That is a good part of it. I think it will be a good idea and we don't really do much in classes for that last year anyways."

Tyler laughed and smirked. "Yeah I skipped the majority of what we did have."

I shake my head with my own smirk. "Not surprising."

We walk into the dining hall and share a look as we see two spaces ready for us at a very full table. Tris looks up and her lips twitch at my pained look of everyone being there.

Tyler looks down at me with a smile. I hate my height. I may be taller than my sister but not enough to be at eye level with Tyler or most of the guys here. I reach chin level on Tyler level unless I am wearing heels. I am wearing slight heels today but he still has to look slightly down. "Let's grab some food and go meet the firing squad."

I grimace but nod. With a bit of a wicked grin and knowing the table is watching us he leans in and kisses me. He doesn't deepen it but I am fine with that. Once again I wonder why I don't feel those butterflies or the burning in my belly Tori, Tris, Zaria and Mar are always going on about, when he kisses me.

Pulling away he moves to get his own tray and I try not to frown after he moves away at my thoughts. I don't succeed at repressing it completely. Maybe it is ok to not have passion? I sigh and frown at that thought.

My eye quirks because as I was glancing around the room my attention was caught by Eric sitting near our table facing towards the door and food line. He was staring right at us and started smirking after we pulled away from the kiss. I am not sure why he was smirking other than maybe because he knew it was going to bother the crap out of Four.

Eric catches me looking at him and his smirk deepens as his eyes lock with mine. I inwardly scowl at the flip my stomach does. He looks away after a moment and talks the other two leaders Max and Jason. Shaking my head I move to start picking up my own food and then take a deep breath as I move to the table.

I sit down first because Tyler made sure to walk beside me, holding his tray with one arm and the other around my waist. I am not sure which is better. If I sit beside Logan and put Tyler beside Four or the reverse. In the end I sit beside Four because Logan is at least a bit more level headed.

I smile brightly and plop my tray down, then put my bag under the table. "Alright guys. We can get this shit show on the road. Tyler, meet everyone officially as my boyfriend. Everyone this is my boyfriend Tyler. Play nice." I growl that last part and almost everyone chuckles slightly.

Zeke, Four, Logan and Uri however do not. They are glaring at Tyler. I sigh and shake my head, my eyes going to Tris pleading with her silently.

Tris sighs, addressing everyone but look at Four specifically. "Cool it guys. Elle is of age and I don't want any problems tonight." I smile at her thankfully. Then she looks over at Tyler. I see the look in her eye and I groan. "Besides Tyler should know better than to mess with my sister. I mean there is no way he can forget the knife incident in training. Right Tyler?"

Tyler handles things well, though he does tense beside me. "Can't really forget someone throwing knives between your legs, especially if you are a guy."

I frown and look between Tris and Tyler. "Wait what? When and why did that happen?"

Tyler's jaw clenches but Tris stares at him for moment before she shakes her head. "It wasn't a big deal. We almost always use someone from each training class to stand in front of the board. I was the one in mine remember."

I nod and scowl at the thought of her taking up for that piece of shit Al. "Yeah. I remember that." I growl and without thinking am spinning my own knife that I picked up for my steak.

Logan smirked at me and chuckled. "Elle, who are you thinking about throwing that knife at?"

I am startled as I look at my hand and frown. "Well damn. I didn't know I was doing that. And can't you guess who I was thinking of? I would rather not say the sack of shits name."

Tris shrugs with a smile and winks at me. "How were classes today Elle. Mrs. Olson said she is really impressed with your work in Tech advancements and projects."

I cut into my steak and shrug. "They're good. And Emma is a bit biased I think. She seems to have adopted me even before I started classes that Erudite wouldn't let me do before. I told you she taught me on her off hours and provided me all of those books right?"

Logan quirks an eyebrow as he looks at me. "Emma has been teaching you in her off hours? For how long?"

I shrug wondering how he knew her, but then I remember he was from Erudite before he transferred. "Three or four years now." I frown and look at my tray. "Mom and her arranged that apparently. She knew I wanted to learn different languages but I wasn't going to be allowed into many of the classes. And then those I was let into, well it kind of put that red flag on me."

Logan frowns and nods but goes to change the subject. Tyler looks over to me after having taken a bite of his burger and interrupts him. "Baby you didn't tell me you speak another language. What language do you speak?"

I blush as Four growls at his calling me the affectation. "French, Latin, Spanish and Japanese. I am still working on Japanese right now though. That was my fun one she let me pick. You know because I love martial arts movies. Didn't you wonder how I am able to understand what they are saying when I am not even looking at the screen when we watch them together?"

I ask this without thinking. Most of those times had been when I was staying the night over at his apartment. Tyler smirks into his drink looking extremely smug as Four looks over at me. His eyes go hard and his lips thin. "And when would you two have been watching these movies together Electra?"

I sigh and look over to him. "When I was at his apartment watching movies. And before you go all supernova on me Four. We were watching movies and I was usually doing work at the same time. So before your mind goes places it shouldn't. Remember who I am and have a little bit more faith in me and my ability to make decisions."

Tris apparently kicked Four under the table and gave him hard eyes because he just sighed and shook his head. "Fine whatever. I trust _you_ Elle."

His tone implied he did not trust Tyler at all but that was fine. It was going to be a work in progress. The rest of the dinner passed in tense conversations here and there. All the Pedrad's loosened up though and started with their normal demeanor. Zeke was still reserved and kept throwing glances at Ty every now and again.

As I ate Tyler kept pressed close and winked at me every now and then to let me know he wasn't concerned about it all. I just hoped eventually my family would lighten up and it get better.

"Elle are we going to go for our run tomorrow morning? I was thinking if you wanted we could even maybe make a trip to Amity. Johana would be happy to see you and I need to arrange for some supplies anyways." Logan said as he started eating some cake at the end of dinner.

I thought for a moment and debated on my game plan for the weekend. "Yeah that is fine. I promised Lynn, Mar, Shauna and Lauren that I would do girl shit that night. I think they want to go dancing. So long as we are back with enough time for me to brace myself for that we should be fine." I smirk at the aforementioned girls who were giving me the eye.

Mar snorted and shook her head. "You aren't quite as bad about not wanting to get dressed up as Tris but you are pretty bad. You know you love the dancing part though."

I smiled with a laugh. "Yeah that part I am good with. It is the hours you guys want to spend trying to get ready that I don't understand. How does it take you guys more than thirty minutes to get ready? I mean...why? You guys are already gorgeous even without all the war paint. Although war paint would be kind of fun to go in. You know how the Gaul warriors did theirs right?"

I was already blushing at the thought of it. Tyler leaned over to whisper in my ear. "I still say you are sexy when you turn on that brain of yours."

I elbow him and turn even redder. Four clears his throat and looks at me. "Why do I get the feeling I don't want to know exactly how they wore their makeup?"

Logan snorts into his cup. "Because you don't Four. Your mind will melt at the thought of it and then it coming from Elle…." He trails off with a shrug.

Uri and Zeke though grin. "We want to know." They say in unison and then start trying to pinch each other because of the jinx factor.

"Gaul and Celtic warriors usually wore some type of paint but all over their bodies in battle. And that was it. Even the women. They believed in fighting balls and tits out. Literally." I smirked as I said this because I knew Tris and Four were going to choke on their food and drink while the others were going to crack up. I wasn't disappointed.

I wasn't prepared for looking up and seeing Eric at the table behind us that was still facing me, and his eyes looked dark while his nostrils were flared. His lips twitching, he just shook his head before he went back to eating.

I took a breath and looked down at my plate. I just needed to keep Eric out of my damn head. Every since I moved here I run into him way more than I thought I would. He and Logan are best friends. So when there is a party and Logan is there because I am there, Eric usually follows. He is a dick most of the time to everyone else. He is even a dick to me but he also talks to me about things I don't think he does with anyone else.

Usually we talk about books, history or movies. Hell he even drops by and lends me books or sends them to me on my tablet through this sharing app I have. We are sort of friends I guess but he is confusing as hell. He gets angry quickly at times for no reason and can be just as bad as Four about trying to command me about shit. He is also really intense about what training I am doing and when. I would say it will be a relief to get away from him when I go to the Academy but damned if I didn't find out that he and Four are going to be Instructors there. Eric will be there for only certain parts of the day and certain classes. I both dread and look forward to it.

Then there is the feelings I get around him that just make me feel ridiculous. Even though he has never done more than occasionally brush up against me or adjusted my posture when he was near me during training or at a party sits close occasionally. I think I felt those butterflies and burning that the girls are always talking about. I know I think about Eric way more than I should. He is also the only one besides Four, Tris and Logan that I absolutely cannot go into my state of emotional distance. I try and try at times with him but it just won't happen if he is near.

Tyler looks over to me seriously before he has to get up to leave for his own shift at in Control. He will be gone for the weekend basically. "Elle, don't stay out too long. You also better text me when you get in. I don't want to have to go looking for you." Tyler has a bad habit of trying to tell me what to do. I know it is just because he worries but he can sound like such a controlling dick about it sometimes.

I stiffen as I look over to him and speak lowly. "Ty, what have we been talking about that? I don't mind letting you know I am ok but you don't get to tell me what to do."

He holds my eyes for a moment and I can tell he wants to argue. He huffs a little bit but then smirks and shrugs. "Ok babe. I might just end up crashing the party then at some point."

I roll my eyes and nod. "I am sure you will Ty."

He leans in and goes to kiss my cheek then says his goodbyes to everyone. With a final wink to me he leaves and I am left frowning slightly.

"Does he talk to you like that alot Elle?" Zeke asks quietly, his hands clenched a little. Almost everyone had to go to do various things and it was really only Mar, Lynn, Uri, Zaria, Shauna and Zeke left. Logan had moved over to sit with Eric and they had their heads together about something.

I shrugged still frowning. "He can be a dick but for the most part he is pretty cool with me. He just gets protective. I am also a stubborn ass so we have issues in communicating at times." I smirk over at him.

Zeke frowns and shakes his head. "How did you and he even get together Elle?"

I laugh a little. "He is extremely persistent. He was always in the training room when I was there. Shortly after I came here he started being there at the same time I was all the time. We started talking casually there but after about five months of constant asking I agreed to go hang out. I guess it just went from there."

Mar quirked an eyebrow at me. "So have you guys?"

I blush and look at her like she is crazy then look around at the tables. Of course Logan is listening because I can see him side eyeing me with his lips thinned. I sigh. "Not that is any of your or anyone's business but no we haven't gone there yet. He hasn't pushed it and I haven't wanted to."

"Is it the whole Abnegation factor?" Zaria asks with a smirk and I narrow my eyes at her. My supposed best friend already knows that isn't the issue.

"No it isn't the Abnegation factor. You damn well know that Zaria." I growl at her, shaking my head.

She shrugs and smirks. "Just wondering because I mean you would think after four months of kissing and…."

"I don't want to hear what there was four months of Zaria!" Zeke growls and turns to his niece. "Leave the subject alone before I decide I am going to go pull the fuckers spine from his body."

I frown and watch as Zeke gets up and storms off. "Ok, what the fuck guys? I mean, I know he can be a cocky dick but what is with all the animosity towards Tyler? He is fucking trying here. He was even respectful enough to ask for this shit show you guys put on tonight. But you guys have been nothing but a bunch of fucking asses to him the entire night and even before then. You know what! I am with Tyler now and you guys are just going to have to deal with it. All everyone is doing right now is pissing me the fuck off. I don't try and tell you who to date Zaria. Even when the dudes are complete shitheads I stick by your side and support you when you need it." I don't yell all of this but I don't keep it quiet either. I look down at my tray scowling. "Fuck it. I am going to go skateboarding or going to go hit shit again."

I get up grabbing my bag and tray then storm out on my own. I don't stop when the girls try and call me back. I am too pissed and I don't want to say something I will regret. I make my way quickly to my apartment and unpack the bag before I grab my backpack with my normal collection of stuff, grab my leather jacket, board and then head out. I run into a few of my other friends at the area that is set up for skateboarding and bike tricks. After a few hours I head home a bit more relaxed and less mad but even more determined to stick with Tyler and make the relationship work.

I have three months before I leave for the academy for 6 months and then two months after that will be the choosing ceremony.

 _One month later_

I frown as I am shown to a curtained area in the clinic, Zaria beside me. "I thought you said she wasn't working today Zaria."

Zaria chews her lip and looks over to me. "They must have called her in or something. Are you sure about this Elle? I mean, this is kind of a big step."

I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. "I'm sure. I'm ready. Besides even if I weren't I'm just getting it early. They give it to us when we go to the academy anyways.

Zaria nods but looks at me worriedly. I can get why she is worried. I am planning to lose my virginity here. While I'm not all on fire for Tyler I do care for him and think I love him. I want to take this step before I go off in two months.

Shauna walks in and frowns when she sees me. "Please don't tell me you are here for what I think you are here for."

My face goes emotionless. "I am here as a dependent of Dauntless to see a medical professional for assistance. Can you help me or not Shauna?"

Shauna closes her eyes and sighs but nods. "Yeah Elle. I can help you."

There are no more words needed and she doesn't really speak to me as she gets me the birth control shot. Then she talks to me about safe sex and how long the shot will work for. Inside I am asking myself if I am really doing this and if for the right reasons and the right person. The truth is that I don't know.

How do you know who is right or not? But I had promised myself I wouldn't live in fear. Tyler has been more than patient with me. Telling me I am worth the wait. I see the side of him that no one else sees apparently. I am willing to take the risk and it isn't like any other guys are lining up to take me out or showing interest. Not that I have been looking either though. No risk no reward, I just hope I don't get hurt too badly by putting myself out there.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys! Seriously thanks for all the feedback and reads for this story. You have no idea how much it means and I only wish I had half that on some of my others. I have tried to reply to a few of them but those along with my cover image are having issues with either loading or going through. Don't think I am ignoring your reviews because I am not.**

 **So if you don't see where the crap with Tyler is heading, yes I am alluding to the start of a somewhat abusive pattern. Don't worry Elle is strong that it won't go that far. But it is a real life issue for girls now a days and it was also one I had personal experience with. Part of this is how I dealt with it. Did it take me time to wise up. Yeah it did. Elle is young, this is her first relationship and she has a stubborn streak a mile wide.**

 **Disclaimer:** **"** **We all go a little mad sometimes." - Psycho ...I am going a little mad in the world of V Roth and Eric is my favorite toy. He has the knives.**

 **Chapter 3 - Two days before start of Academy**

My watch alarm goes off letting me know that I need to get up and make my way back to my apartment. Tyler stirs in his sleep and pulls me closer groaning.

"Why do you need to go again?" He whispers into my shoulder

I smile slightly. "Because I have spent almost all week here. I need to spend time with my family too before I leave in two days."

He sighs and I can hear his attitude creeping up even this early. "They will get to see you every fucking day Elle."

I sigh and shake my head. Not wanting to get into this argument with him again. "Tyler, don't make me do this again please."

He growls and rolls over. "Fine. I will be seeing you at lunch though." It isn't a request or question. It is a command and one that I would normally rage against but I am tired and need to go.

"Fine Ty." I sigh a bit wearily and move to get up. Before I can though he rolls over and pulls me to him. His kisses let me know he won't let me go before he has his last say.

I wish I could say this made me happy but it doesn't. I don't regret giving myself to Tyler as my first. He was patient and kind about it and so very fucking abnegation. It had made me care more for him. How patient and gentle he tries to be with me. It doesn't inspire passion though. Maybe I just need to be more outspoken and adventurous in talking about that with him? I break from the kiss as my phone goes off and I inwardly thank it for the interruption. "I have to go Tyler." I whisper.

With a huff then a few more kisses he lets me get up. I quickly shower, dress and with a final quick kiss make my way out of his apartment.

I don't know why I am closing the door quietly as if someone will hear me but I do. It is five in the morning on a weekend so most of Dauntless is passed out in a drunken stupor or still in a drunken stupor.

I need coffee badly, so I head towards The Pit and to a shop I love to go to instead of the dining hall. I round the corner that exits Tyler's apartment corridor and run into a wall made of black leather and hard muscles. I bounce back slightly and arms reach out to grab me to stop me from falling. I know who it is the second his hands make contact and my eyes snap to his.

At first Eric looks amused as he looks down at me. Then I can see it register what corridor I am walking from and his eyes turn that cold and hard look he has started to wear more often than not with me lately.

"Elle" His voice is cold now too and I am surprised he even used my name this morning. He went back to calling me Stiff recently.

My eyes go hard as well. "Sir." I don't call him Eric anymore either. I still remain respectful that he is a leader of my faction and will soon be an instructor. I hate that I miss him being sort of friendly with me and even his random messages to me or book suggestions.

He jaw clenches and his fingers bite into my hip. "Where are you headed from so early in the morning Elle?" I sigh but don't vocally answer him. My look says it all. His jaw clenches even tighter. "Where are you going now?"

I shrug with a small smile. "Coffee would be the first stop. Then I promised Logan I would meet him to spend the day with him. He has something planned but I have no clue what."

Eric's expression softens slightly. "Mind if I join you for coffee then?"

I don't answer, just nod and hope he lets me go. Because right now I can't handle his hands on me. Why can't I feel that way with Tyler? How can one simple touch or look inspire that in me from a guy I am not even sure even likes me. Besides which nothing could even happen even if I wanted it to. I am a dependant of his faction and he is a Leader. Unless he just wants to be stripped of his rank he couldn't touch me even if he wanted to. Four would be all to fucking pleased to take advantage of that shit. I don't get my wish because he puts his hand on the small of my back as we walk.

"Do you know where I get my coffee from?" I ask with a quirked eyebrow.

Eric smirks and shrugs. "I am guessing you go to the shop on the second floor. The one by the place you sell your clothing designs too?"

I look at him in surprise but then shrug. "Yeah they have the best coffee and I can sit there and draw. They also make some pretty decent pastries."

He nods and looks over at me as if debating something but he doesn't speak anymore. We make it to the shop and the girl, Shannon, smiles at me and starts working on my coffee. Eric apparently is a regular too because she doesn't get either of our orders.

"We made some of those chocolate chip muffins fresh this morning Elle. Want one of those and your yogurt with fruit?" Shannon asks me happily but I can see she is trying to not be intimidated by Eric who is glowering at her.

I give her a lopsided smile and laugh. "Like I am going to say no to one of those. Yes please. But can you make sure to add the flaxseed and protein powder to the yogurt for me? I still need to at least try and make some healthy decisions."

She laughs and nods. "Yeah we can do that." She clears her throat and looks to Eric. "Will there be anything for you Sir?" Her voice isn't quite shaking or scared but it is more reserved.

Eric shrugs looking bored with her and life in general. "I'll have the same."

She side eyes me for a moment but doesn't say anything and then moves off to get our orders of food ready. I move to my favorite table where I can keep my back against the wall but watch everyone that comes in and the walkway outside of the shop.

Eric ambles over and pulls out a chair. Instead of sitting at one of the other spots at the table he takes up a position similar to mine. I have to scoot over a bit to make room at the table for both of us and try not to shiver when the bare skin of his arm brushes against mine. I fail to repress it and see him smirk slightly out of the corner of my eye. Neither of us says anything.

I take out my sketchpad and tablet. I messaged Logan and let him know I am up and ready for the day as I sip my coffee.

"Are you ready for Academy?" Eric asks as he has his own tablet out and is sipping on his own coffee.

I nod and put my tablet down then pick up my sketchbook. "Yes Sir. I just got all the required gear over the last couple of days. Logan was pretty adamant he be the one to take me get everything. Tris didn't mind but it was an argument with Four."

Eric snorts into his cup and rolls his eyes. "What isn't an argument with Number Boy?"

I sigh and shrug. "He just wants to make sure I am prepared. The same as Logan, Zeke and Uri. I know they don't like the thought that I won't be sleeping in the compound but I know that the single instructors are staying on the grounds."

Eric nods and smirks a little. "Instructors and a few leaders will be staying on grounds for the duration. This is the first year and it needs to be watched carefully."

I sigh internally because I already know Eric enough to know that smug look. He is going to be staying on grounds. So much for being able to escape my schoolgirl crush on him.

Shannon brings out food out and I peel the wrapper from the muffin with a bit of a smile as I sit there. Confusing as feelings have me so mixed up. Do I like that he is going to be there or not. Get your shit together Prior. You have a gods damn boyfriend anyways. "I can understand that. Security will probably be a focus to see where the holes are in keeping those that don't need to be there out but also the cadets in line." I reflect out loud as I think about all the things that would need to be looked at for something new and as big as this.

Eric gives a small proud smirk at me. That I am used to because he seems oddly pleased when I pick something like that up quickly or do really well in training he and Logan, or even ones that Four joins in on. "True but then there is the factor of just making sure that there is leader presence there." He takes a bit of his own food and then looks at me. "I am sure you are ready to be done with most of those classes at the school."

I break off a bite of my muffin and pop it into my mouth. I close my eyes and sigh with a smile. They are ridiculously good and extremely indulgent. Something I don't do often but when they are fresh I can't resist. I swallow and shrug as I look back to Eric. His face is in his normal demeanor but his eyes are dark and slightly amused. "For the most part. I was going to be sad to part with one teacher who I have become really close to but she told me that she will be teaching there. I am really happy about that part."

Eric tilts his head and frowns. "What teacher is that? There are a few that we pulled from the school that will be teaching."

I smile. "Emma...I mean Mrs. Olson. She handles several subjects at the school but she also taught me several on her own. She honestly became like a sister to me over the last few years."

I see Eric swallow and his forehead furrows. He picks up his cup of coffee but before that I see a slight softening of his expression. "That's good. She is a damn good teacher. She had mentioned a favorite student once or twice just not who it was. What has she taught you on her own time?"

I shove down a flare of jealousy then pick up my sketchpad and start to work on some shading of a shoulder piece I am working on in design. "Well languages for the start. French, Latin, Spanish and I finished Japanese. We also worked on advanced physics, nuclear science, electrical engineering. Several things tech involved. I have a strong pull to that and weapons development and we worked on that."

Eric nods but doesn't say anything as he drinks his coffee and is looking at his tablet. We sit like that for a while, just drinking our coffee and eating in the quiet. It isn't uncomfortable and almost feels like how things had been before he started to act more like he does around everyone else.

I get a few messages from Tyler who is already wanting to know what I am doing and where I am at. I frown and roll my eyes but don't answer.

"Is there a problem Elle?" Eric asks, his tone a bit soft and his hand clenched. He was apparently looking at the flurry of messages I just received.

I shake my head. "No. Tyler is just not exactly handling my going away well. He will be fine though." I sigh that last part and hope it is true.

We aren't being cut off from our families or being able to communicate with them during our time at Academy. Anyone that has tablet phones can bring them but must leave them in their dorms during classes or training. There will be computer labs where those that do not have tablets can still exchange emails, messages or even vid messages with their friends and family.

I know I am going to be busy and really don't want to have to deal with a flood of messages from Tyler wanting to know my every move while I am there. When we got intimate he seemed to become even worse about that. Zaria uses the term clingy and says he is worse than a girl about that.

"What exactly is he doing?" Eric demanded his eyebrow quirked and looking at me.

I shrug. "Being Tyler. Bossy and demanding. Normally I would be throwing it back in his face and telling him I don't put up with that. It just isn't worth the argument today and I will be busy with Logan. I would rather just enjoy my day."

I shrug and try not to let the tingles affect me from him having scooted closer in all of that. Eric mutters low enough that I can't hear what he is saying and then he smirks a bit wickedly as he starts typing into his tablet.

Neither of us speak again as I work on my sketches and eat. He does something on his tablet and eats too. That is interrupted when Logan makes his way over with his own coffee and breakfast.

He has this big smirk on his face and I narrow my eyes at him. "What are you planning Logan?"

"Morning to you too Elle." He takes a seat across from me and sips his coffee, still smirking a bit.

I scoff at him and shake my head. "Morning Logan. Now what are you up to?"

Logan shrugs looking over Eric and I. "Can't a guy just be happy to see his little sister and best friend? And together no less?"

Eric scowls and lets out a growl. "Logan…" he has this warning tone that I don't understand.

Logan rolls his eyes and shakes his head at that. I look between the two confused but Eric's face is shuttered and he starts to clean up his area. "I will let you two get about your day together. Are we still on for lunch Logan?"

Logan locks eyes with Eric, frowns but then nods. "Yeah we are. See you there."

Eric nods and stands then looks to me with his own frown. "Enjoy your day with Logan, Elle." He starts to walk off but then he stops and looks back at me with that small wicked smirk. "Oh by the way. I think Samuels will be a bit too busy to be bothering you today. You let Logan know if he still keeps it up though." His voice was cold but I could tell he was angry at Tyler for something.

"Have a good day, Sir." I said after nodding an affirmative. His eyes flashed with annoyance but then he just turned and left.

I sighed and looked back to Logan who had been watching the two of. "What exactly was he talking about Elle?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Tyler is just not liking I am going to be gone. I think he will just really miss me and it is finally hitting him I leave in two days."

Logan's eyes are hard and I can tell he doesn't like my answer. "What has he been doing then?"

"Nothing. He is just a bit more clingy than normal. Eric saw him messaging me several times already and I said I wasn't going to be responding. I already told him I would be busy with you." I hoped this placated him.

Even as bad as Logan and Four could be protective wise they didn't try and micromanage me. Four had gotten a lot better about not trying to monitor everything I did. It seemed to work for now and he sipped his own coffee and worked on the breakfast sandwich he had gotten.

"So you ready for the day? Did you bring everything I told Tris to pack for you?" He asked with a mischievous grin.

I smile and nodded. "Yes she packed my bag for me. We have to stop by and get it since she did it last night."

Realizing what that meant Logan sighed and shook his head. "Elle can I ask you something?"

I look at him a bit worried at how serious his tone is. "Yeah. What's up?"

His forehead furrows and he frowns. "This thing with you and Tyler. Is it serious? I mean….you have practically lived there for the last week."

I frown wondering how he knows, but of course he knows he heads Control and Intel. "Logan he is my boyfriend and do I look like the type to just spend nights on end at some guys house if I am not at least somewhat serious about them?"

He shakes his head frowning. "No you don't. Fuck if I like it that is with Tyler though. Look, we promised we wouldn't say shit and let you make your own decisions. But here it is. Tyler is scum and I don't like you being with him. He was sore fucking loser in training and his girlfriend at the time was better than him. He treated her like shit and I mean bad Elle. He played mind games hard with her and when it came time for fights they were set to face each other. He was apparently cheating on her and when she found out the night before their fight...well she didn't do so well in the fight and she dropped rank. She never recovered from it."

I frown deeply. "Why has no one ever told me this before Logan? If you want me to make my decisions why tell me this now? Is it because he is different with me and you guys can't handle that?"

Logan's own eyes flash with anger and impatience but then he curses. "Gods you so fucking stubborn. That is why we didn't say anything Elle. Because once you have your mind up about something or someone if we had tried to say anything it would make it worse. Look, I am not trying to tell you how to live your life. I support you, and you know that better than anyone. I let you make your mistakes and live your life but I just wanted you to know about who it is you might be looking to get serious with. Just think about things Elle. Really think about who YOU are and if that is someone you can be with him."

Counting down in my head to calm down I keep silent and breath. I can see the truth of his words. I have been having doubts myself anyways. I can't hold past actions solely against him without knowing his side of things too. Time apart could be a good thing. It will give me time to think for sure. "I will think about it Logan. Can I ask you something though?"

I had always been able to be open with Logan. More so than any of the other guys. Tris, Logan and Zaria are my confidants of a sort. "Always Elle. You know that. No judgements and I don't tell anyone what we talk about."

"Why aren't you in a relationship? I mean we both know you are with girls and aren't committed to anyone. I haven't asked because it really didn't bother me and it isn't my business. But has it always been like that for you?" I ask curiously.

Logan chuckles and shakes his head. "Sure we can't save this conversation for later tonight over the bonfire and a few beers?"

I smirk and shake my head. "No because we will end up debating about other random shit or daring each other to do stuff. No this happens now when we are sober and I have the nerve to talk about it."

He shrugs "No it wasn't always that way. I was in a relationship before I came here to Dauntless. She is still in Erudite. I couldn't help falling for her and she couldn't help falling for me. I haven't found anyone else that I found that with. I am still a man though and I have desires. The girls I am with don't seem to mind and prefer it to be casual. Now...why do you ask?"

I shrug and frown. "I am just trying to understand relationships in general. Four and Tris have their ups and downs you know. They have times when they can't agree on things but they work on it. Shauna and Zeke too for that matter. I remember Mom and Dad being somewhat similar but they were more quiet about those. They tried not to burden us with the thought there might be disagreements."

Logan motions with his head for us to get going so we clean up our mess and then head to the apartment for me to grab my bag and head out. As we walk beside each other we continue our talk. "Such deep thoughts so fucking early in the morning Elle." He chuckles. "Yeah relationships are work, but if you love the person I guess it doesn't feel like work. I don't know hell it isn't like I have tons of experience. I know what it felt like when I was with her though."

I smile at the almost wistful tone he has. It is a combination of soft and full of the love he still feels for her. "What was it like then?"

"Frustrating and amazing all at the same time. There were times I felt like we would never agree about something. We argued but it was never hateful or mean. It was usually something we were passionate about and one didn't want to back down from the other. We were passionate about each other too. So there was the physical aspect and I felt like I would never get enough of her." He shrugs and blushes as he scratches the back of his neck.

"That sounds amazing. I am sorry you don't have her anymore. Is she, did she find someone else?" I ask looking over at him with a frown.

He shook his head "No. I shouldn't but I check up on her. Her brother helps me find out how she is too. I almost wish she would because then I would know she was happy. Maybe I could move on too."

I sigh as we get to the apartment and let us both in. Tris and Four were leaving early to get their lodgings set up at the academy and do run throughs of the processing center. I digest all of what Logan had been telling me. It was helping me to add to what I needed to think about. "Logan can I ask you something without you getting all over protective of me or going supernova?"

He growls as I had come back into the living room with my bag and the jacket he said I would need for later. "That depends Elle. I can't make a promise on what you might have to say or ask me will make me feel. You aren't the only one with a damn temper you know."

I shrug "It isn't anything bad but I can't ask Tris about this and Zaria, well I mean she can just get mean about the subject."

Logan looks to be bracing himself, he closes his eyes and then makes a go ahead motion with his hand. "Ok." He opens his eyes back up and looks to me.

I take a deep breath. "Is it bad if a girl has never...you know...when you have been with them?"

Logan turns a bright shade of red, but not from anger but more embarrassment. Then he starts laughing and shakes his head. "Elle….I don't even know how to respond to that. Part of me wants to go rip his head off for touching you. The other part wants to shake you for even going there with him. To answer your question I guess that depends on if he is trying to help out with that at all. I can't get into those details with you but let's just say there is shit you can do for the girl if she can't during. Ok...so now we are going to move off of that and I am going suggest we head out before my fucking head explodes. Damn Four's Abnegation is rubbing the fuck off on me."

With that he takes my elbow and guides me out, laughing a bit with a bit of a smirk. I can't help but laugh at how red his face is still. "Thanks Logan."

He shakes his head. "Don't mention. Seriously don't ever fucking mention my reaction again. And if you feel the need to continue that conversation...whiskey. We will need fucking whiskey."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok so there will be some more Eric/Elle interaction. As far as Four and Tris and more of them there will be but not the focus. I will be including them more though. Thank you so much for the reviews I really appreciate it and they drive me.**

 **Chapter 4**

We jump off the train near Amity with smiles and laughs and start making our way to wherever he has planned for us today. "Are you going to tell me where we are going and what we are doing?"

Logan smirks over at me and shakes his head. "Nope. You will see when we get there. Until then it is classified." He sticks his tongue out at me causing me to laugh.

It is hard sometimes to remember just how young he, Four, Zeke and Eric really are. There are senior members that are older but those that are in positions of power usually step down after they reach a certain age. Not because they aren't capable but because the burden that is placed on any Dauntless, much less a Leader or anyone with authority, can be a bit much.

Max has been an exception to the rule so far, but soon he will most likely start thinking about stepping down to spend time with his grandkids. His wife Elise had already stepped down from leadership herself after the Erudite movements. She started dedicating her time to helping the council in making decisions on where to go from the chaos that time caused. She still works on that because it is still an ongoing process but she also just became a grandmother to twins and spends time with them.

Dauntless is a faction that believes 'it takes a village' when it comes to raising children. Children are valued immensely and over the last few years that became even more the case. It wasn't a surprise then that those that reached the age where they felt they needed to step back and enjoy their lives and families also ended up dedicating time to teaching or helping with the children of our faction.

Logan and I walk for another forty-five minutes and we enter into what I know to be the Amity Faction Lodging sector. Amity runs a sort of resort for other factions to come and enjoy nature. The Catskill Mountains are a beautiful and awe inspiring place and Amity has several locations like this throughout their sectors which are based on what agricultural resource they are established for.

My grin widens when we come up to a two story lodge made of wood and stone. He looks over to me, nudges my shoulder then briskly walks up to the stairs and with a smirk opens the door.

"Surprise!" Rings out in a variety of voices, along with laughter.

I look around the room, my face red and take in everyone. Sneaky bastards went and did a birthday celebration for me anyways.

Tris and the girls each come up to embrace and hug me. Then Four, Zeke and Uri get their bear hugs. When I get put down I turn with narrowed eyes at Logan.

"Sneaky bastard." I say with a grin as he wraps me up in a hug.

"Oh come on Elle. You didn't think we would let you get away with not having a party of some kind did you? You only turn 18 once. Besides this is also a get together for everyone going to Academy as well." He smiles at me as he has an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into further into the lodge.

"This is amazing guys." I grin and take everything in. The lodge is amazing and huge. Tris, Mar and Lauren are already in the huge kitchen putting drinks and other things together. Four and Zeke are near the huge stone fireplace getting that started while everyone else is checking the place out. "Are we staying here tonight?" I ask Logan who is watching me take everything in.

He nods with his own grin. "Yep, we are staying for the next two nights actually. We don't have to be to the Hub on Monday until 11 am to leave for the Academy. That will give us all plenty of time to leave here and head to grab breakfast. Four, Zeke, Uri and Eric already have everyone's gear at the Academy so we don't have to worry about that."

I smile and shrug. "Sounds good to me." I side hug him and forget all about my troubles with Tyler for the moment.

Zaria comes up and drags me off with her to go find our rooms. Her and I share a huge bathroom but get our own room. I love it instantly with the huge bed that is facing the french doors. You can see the view from the top floor of the balcony and it is amazing. The lodge we have is higher up on the mountain and the view of the tree covered mountains and then the lakes in the distance is amazing and relaxing. I unpack quickly with a smile. I check my messages quickly and there isn't one from Tyler but there is one from Eric.

Frowning I open it and read what it says. I try not to let how my stomach flutters at getting a message from him register with me.

' _Sorry couldn't be there for the surprise part. See you soon though. Happy Birthday Elle.'- Eric_

Yep, my stomach was doing flips. Fuck! How does he have this effect on me and he isn't even here? And why does he go from being friends to a cold dick to this...whatever this is? "You know what Elle. You have enough shit and issues to deal with." I mutter to myself.

It would be rude of you not to answer though.

Great I am talking to myself outloud and in my head. Fuck. You are right dammit.

' _Thank you for the birthday wishes. It was for sure a surprise, but nice. I am guessing you will be here later?'- Elle_

It took a few moments for him to respond and it was kind of typical Eric. I still smiled though.

' _Yep'_ - _Eric_

' _See you soon then'-Elle_

Neither of us messaged each other after that and I put the phone in my hoodie pocket and met Zaria back downstairs so we could explore. "Isn't this place amazing Elle? There is a freaking huge hot springs or something at the end of the building. That is apparently why we have bathing suits packed. Did you bring one?"

I smiled and nodded. Tris had packed two of the four bathing suits we picked up for our gear. One was a one piece and the other was called a tankini. The top looked like a tank top and was paired with a pair of boy short bottoms. The one piece was black with the dauntless flame on the left side and was the official academy cadet swimsuit for the training and lessons we would have. The other was for the more casual uses that we could have during off hours. That one was blood red top and black bottoms.

"Yeah. Logan had apparently had Tris pack everything for me and she put in the extra two bathing suits Logan and I picked up. One of each kind. I am excited about that but did you see up the hill what they have?" Her and I exchange looks and big smiles.

"Zip-Lining!" We both yell at the same time and break out in giggles. I hear the laughs of others that are lounging around us in the huge great room.

Scott and Hector are going to be in Academy with us and they join us by the big fireplace. I decided I wanted to warm my back so am sitting on the huge hearth with my legs folded under me.

Hec laughs at me as I am closing my eyes and luxuriating in the feel of the fire behind me. "If you were a cat you would be purring right now Elle."

I smirk and nods my head. I had started to arch my back, stretching. "It feels amazing to be honest." I release the stretch and sigh with a smile.

Zaria is smirking at me and shaking her head. "So what else kinds of madness has Logan and the guys cooked up you think?"

I chew on my lip in thought. "Hmm...well weapons of SOME kind will come into play. Knife throwing most likely because that is pretty much a no brainer." I shrug and smile. "I don't know but it will be pretty fun regardless of what it is."

We all agree and I wander into the kitchen to take a look at everything. "Hey want me to help make anything?" I ask Lynn, Tris and Mar who are in the kitchen at that moment. I hop up onto the huge island counter and grab a handful of chips that they have out in a huge bowl.

Tris shakes her head with a smile. "Nope Elle. We can handle this. Besides you are always cooking. Let someone else take care of you for a change."

I shrug and smile at her with love. "I don't mind Tris. You, the rest of the Instructors and Leaders have been so busy trying to get things set up. I thought it was the least I could do to bring you guys homecooked meals while you guys holed up in the conference rooms or your offices."

Tris comes and kisses my cheek. "And we all appreciated it. Max even said he might as well have just had you be there at the meetings as much as you were coming in and out and taking care of us. We all really appreciated that Elle."

I blush and shrug it off. "So if I can't help cook what should I do with myself?"

Logan walks up and leans over the counter and grabs some chips. "There's what, three hours until lunch? So we could go for a little hike if you wanted."

Turning slightly to look at my friends, that are all smiling and nodding behind him, I turn back to him with a smile. "Sure sounds good. Hey question though. When are we going to go Zip-Lining?"

Everyone laughs and Logan shakes his head. "We have a few more people coming at lunch. We can head up after that. Or is that too long of a wait for you?"

I shrug and hop down with a grin. "Nah I can wait. I think. I am all for hiking though. We should pack the smaller bags we brought with waters and stuff though."

Logan nods with a smile. "Good girl. I like your thinking." He turns to the group that is apparently gathering together for the hike and takes on his stern voice. "Alright grab your smaller bags with your survival kits, your knives set and make sure you have your hiking wear one. So Scott and Hector you guys need to go change. Meet back here and we will have some supplies to add to the bags. You have ten minutes and we move out."

After that we all break and run to grab our stuff. Mine is easy to throw together because I had already gotten most of it done while I was unpacking. I did put on the sturdier leather jacket instead of my hoodie and left my tablet on my night stand. I put my hair into my favorite ponytail with braids as I was walking back downstairs.

We all met pretty quickly and with smiles shoved the waters, bars, MRE's and small bags that have sandwiches and chips the girls prepared for us into our packs. Tris, Mar, and Lauren were all staying behind to get things ready. Chris was staying behind too but more because it wasn't her speed to go hiking and I was ok with that. I could only take her in small doses. Will I loved though and was glad he was going.

I stopped as we got to the top of the part we were climbing and took out my water bottle to take a drink. I was looking at our group that was in scattered patterns, climbing the rocky terrain up to the spot we decided to meet at.

It was gorgeous and I could see the rolling of the mountains and trees. The area up here was a bit colder and thinner but it felt amazing. I don't know why I loved that burn in the lungs but it felt like it was purging all the bad shit and stress from the day.

Logan soon joined me at the top and was smiling as he threw his arm around me. "Having fun yet Elle?"

I smiled widely and nodded. "Hell yeah. This is amazing by the way. Thank you and to whoever helped put all this together."

Logan shrugged and smiled. "We enjoyed doing it. It isn't like we all aren't going to have fun and we all need this. The next several months are going to be stressful."

I nodded still smiling. We watched and waited as everyone climbed up. After everyone was up and we had all taken in the view, Logan took a group picture of us. Then we all headed back down. It took an hour to get up there and an hour down with a stop to eat at the top. By the time we got back I could tell even more people were at the lodge now.

Logan looked over to us with a smile. "You guys got get washed up and ready for lunch and fun. You don't have to change. We will just be heading out again most likely if I know Elle."

We were walking into the lodge and I laughed. "Damn straight. I want to Zip-line. The hike appeased me for now. But my adrenaline junkie will rear her head again soon."

"Nice to see my little sister hasn't changed too much." I heard the smirk coming from my brother Caleb's voice and turned my head to see him standing by a huge dining table as if he had just gotten up.

I broke out into a smile and ran as he walked briskly to meet me as well. "Caleb!" I yelled and launched myself at him. I impacted him hard without meaning too.

"Mmpf" He called out as we fell to the ground. When we hit we started laughing. "Dammit Elle. This isn't a recreation of tackle football like you talked me into that one time."

Smirking I popped up and held my hand down for him. "Not yet, Caleb. Not yet. Thanks for the reminder of that by the way. Now I know something I can propose we do as an activity. We will just have to find a ball."

Shaking his head I took in his clothes and smirked at him as he shrugged. "You can thank the person for bringing me. He suggested it might not be practical to wear the normal Erudite wear. So darkest blue it is in the sturdiest material I could find."

Caleb was wearing all midnight blue clothes but he actually had jeans on along with black combat boots. His jacket was a thick blue one with what looked like a fleece lining on it. "You look good Caleb. You always wore the black well too when we would go on those secret trips around the city and to train."

He shrugged as he blushed and I tilted my head. "You said that someone brought you? It couldn't have been Logan. So who was it?"

Caleb linked arms with me and walked me back over to the table. "Well actually he brought two of us."

We get to the area and I see Emma stand up beaming at me. Tris and Four are sitting at the table beside her with amused smiles. But leaning against the huge cabinet that looks like is used for dish storage is Eric. Once again his posture suggests he is bored or above everything but his eyes when they look at me are amused and even a bit pleased about something.

I smile at him but then focus on Emma who is coming over to me. "Elle sweetie. You look like you are already enjoying yourself."

I laugh and nod. "I am. I extremely happy you could be here." We hug for a moment before she pulls back and smiles at me.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Especially with how the next few months are going to be for all of us. You my dear, better take this time to relax. I was worried about how much you were pushing yourself those last two weeks." She frowned at me looking me over.

I try to look repentant but fail. "I am not going to lie and say I am sorry because I am not. I was excited to get that project off the ground and that it gets to be used at the academy just pleases me to no end. Come on Emma you know you had fun too." I bump my shoulder against hers playfully.

She blushes and nods with a grin. "I will admit I guess I can see now why you like shooting guns so much. It might not have been real but it was a real thrill."

The others all look between us. Logan and Eric already know what we are talking about apparently. Eric smirks and shrugs. "What the hell. We weren't going to announce it was being put in use until the first week. Everyone meet the creators of the battle simulation that we will be using throughout those appropriate courses. The instructors will get to run through it within that first week. Good work guys."

Emma smirks over at me as everyone exclaims about it wanting to know more. "That was all Elle at first. I just supervised and helped her refine a few things. Then when we wanted to expand the capabilities to include more people on the same simulation I had to help a bit more, but not much.

I shrug blushing with a smile to her. "We will agree to disagree about this. Either way it was worth all of those sleepless nights and long hours hunched over terminals and workbenches."

Emma squeezes my side with a smile. "You should go get cleaned up before the wolves start baying for blood. I hear a few stomachs grumbling."

I laugh and wink at her. "Fine but just so you know Emma..." I look over at her with a wicked grin "..the minute you stepped foot in the lodge you put yourself at my not so tender mercies. You will be zip-lining later."

I hear barks of laughter as she turns a bit red and bites her lip. "I told him you were going to say that."

She turns to look at Eric and I can't help but see the brief look of affection pass between them. My stomach roils in a not great way as I get hit with jealousy again but this time stronger. I push it down and shake my head. I try to smile but it comes out a bit tighter.

"Well then you know me pretty damn well. I better go get dressed." Even my voice is slightly tighter. I turn quickly before it and my voice can draw attention.

I pass Logan who is also looking at Emma. He tries to shutter it off before I pass him at an almost jog but I see a look of almost longing. I can't help but frown even more and I see his eyes change to worry before I whip past him.

I am grumbling to myself as I go to my room and toss myself down on the bed. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing.

You are being ridiculous about this Elle. You don't even know what if anything is going on between them. They could be like you and Logan, Zeke or Uri.

Or they could be lovers. That is the most likely reason for that rare show of emotion from Eric.

Either way it shouldn't matter to me. You have a boyfriend and Eric is so far out of your realm of possibilities it isn't even funny. You are a fellow leader's little sister and a fucking stiff at that. He reminds you of it often enough lately anyways.

With a sigh I push myself up from the bed and grab my phone. I growl at the texts Tyler had sent off. 'You better be at lunch', 'I will come find you Elle'...dick. Fuck men.

I toss my phone on the bed and move to the bathroom. After knocking to make sure Zaria isn't in there I freshen up. Taking a deep breath I head back downstairs.

Zaria meets me halfway and links arms with me. She is smiling as she talks about what we could be doing after. It didn't take long for everyone to start in on lunch.

The french doors to the big outdoor dining and sitting area are open and I decide to make a plate and go to curl up on a spot at the big outdoor couch to eat and take in the view.

There are a lot more people, including Max and his wife and kids. They decided to stay at another lodge with the grandkids. Apparently this will also be a sort of retreat or get away for some of the senior members. I can completely understand as they will be in charge of every aspect of the Academy.

My plate is full of all kinds of foods. Shauna, Mar and Lynn had worked on some of my favorite food that comes from Uri and Zeke's mom and her recipes. It is a combination between latin flavors and tropical island flavors. Between the empanadas, fajitas and other finger foods I am munching happily and sipping on a beer.

I am soon joined by Logan, Eric, Emma, Tris and a few others. I am shocked when Eric comes to sit beside me though instead of beside Emma. I feel horrible for being so damn pleased when he moves closer to make room for Lynn and a few others on the couch.

"So Zip-lining?" I waggle my eyebrows at everyone with a big smile as we are all lounging around.

Logan chuckles and nods. "Yes Elle we will be going zip-lining after everyone eats."

I grin and then chew my lip in thought. I hear Tris snickering as she looks at me. "What are you plotting Elle?"

I shrug and smirk. "I am not plotting anything but I was wondering if we could make it a bit more interesting."

Emma's mouth drops open. "Isn't it interesting enough?"

I laugh as the others chuckle. Eric turns more towards me with a smirk on his lips. I hadn't noticed that his arm had gone over the back of the couch and was brushing against my shoulder. I blushed and scowled at myself internally.

His smirk deepened as he looked at me. "More interesting how Lioness?"

Gods damn the warmth that floods my abdomen at that. I clear my throat. "I was wondering how firing at targets while zip-lining would be. I mean…" I shiver as the thought of that and him pressing against me combines to drive me insane. My voice gets a bit breathy. "That would be amazing."

My eyes connect with his and they are dark, so dark I don't see the grey I love so much. His nostrils were flared and he didn't break eye contact with me until I heard Logan chuckle.

"You owe me 100 credits Eric. I told you she would come up with something." His voice was entirely too smug and I broke eye contact to look over to him. I frowned because he was smug when looking at the two of us but he wasn't the only one. Emma was too and that confused the hell out of me.

Weren't Emma and Eric together?

Eric breaks from whatever he was thinking and shrugs with a smirk. "I won't be complaining. We have to get it set up though. Did you bring the targets?"

Logan smirks and nods. "Fuck yeah I did. Like I am not going to when we are all getting together like this?" He pauses and looks over to Four, Uri and Zeke. Four was glaring at me and Eric but then tilted his head when Logan called for their attention. "Yo, guys. Let's go get this setup and get the show on the road."

Emma looked over at me worried and I laughed as I shook my head. I could read what she was worried about clear enough. "Don't worry Emma. You may have kicked ass in simulations but putting a live firing gun in your hands ain't in the cards for you. I will be satisfied with your screams as you careen down the forest and through the trees."

Eric turns to face me with a hell of an amused smirk on his face and Emma looks both relieved and horrified. Tris and the others are laughing their asses off.

"You are a bit evil Electra Prior. Did you know that?" Emma says shaking her head at me but with a smile.

I wink at her cheekily. "You know you love it. Or do I need to tell everyone that I tried to convince you to do that other…"

"ELECTRA!" She screamed at me all red faced. "We agreed to never speak of that experiment you did and we never will. Period. Why Dr. Carver accepted that proposal or I helped you make it while we were both drunk I will never know. But we will not be talking about it."

I turn a bit red and nod, frowning at myself and my lack of sense in bringing it up. "Yeah sorry. Mouth got away before my brain could catch up on that one. Not something I want anyone to know either. Not that I have anything to be embarrassed about...is it hot out here to any fucking one else?" I stopped talking about it because I was growing redder and warmer by the second at the thought of that experiment.

Suddenly Eric's presence next to me and rubbing up against me at the thought of that little gem of an experiment was too much and I popped up as moved off, very quickly. Emma's laugh followed my hasty retreat. My ears were burning so that must mean they were talking about me and what the experiment was. I so regretted my mouth getting away from me then. I hoped with beer and the night it would be forgotten.

Thankfully I was saved from having to talk about it anymore. I had gone to the bathroom to splash water on my face and stall for time. It worked and when I came back everyone was gathering to head out to do the zip-lining and or zip-lining with target practice.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was amazing. They had set up target interspersed through the trees and on the ground, some high and some low. The rush as I dangled from the zip-line and going along while having to keep my eyes peeled and weapon drawn was epic.

By the time we were all done the leaders and instructors all had these gleams in their eyes and I knew that we would be visiting this kind of exercise again at some point.

Logan, Uri and Zeke had grabbed me after we all finished and carried me along on their shoulders for my brilliance.

"You guys put me down! My payment for my brilliant and wicked mind will be another run or two because that was seriously fucking amazing." I can't help my smile being wide as I giggle.

"Oh that was a given, Elle." Zeke laughs and shakes his head. "But right now it is time for dinner, bonfires and possibly another game or two. I know we all wanted to hit the hot springs too."

Sounded good to me. I couldn't help but watch as Eric and Emma were walking a little ways away but looked to be talking and smiling a bit. That ugly churn of jealousy hit me again before I turned away.

Logan shoulder bumped me when he noticed my smile had disappeared. "You alright Elle? You got kind of quiet and broody all of a sudden."

I look over to him and nod "Yeah, was just thinking about the subject from earlier."

He groans and shakes his head. "Just remember your promise. Whiskey or I can't go into that subject again."

I laugh again and smile. "Don't worry I think I am ok on that subject for a while."

When we get back to the house I am tackled to the ground by three speeding bullets of two toddlers and one child. "Elle! We saw you speeding through the trees!" Zoe Pedrad yells and laughs as she sits on my chest beside Max and Elise's two two year old twin granddaughters.

I laugh and start tickling them. "You did? Did you hear me laughing my head off like a crazy person then?"

Jasmine and Alhora smile and giggle. "Crazy Elle!"

"Damn right I am. We are Dauntless girls! We all go a little mad sometimes." I quote a favorite movie to the girls who wouldn't get it but it leaves Logan laughing as he reaches down and picks up the toddlers, one on each arm and then spins them.

"Don't listen to her girls. She's crazy." The giggle musically and I watch as he moves them away from the doors so others can come in.

Zoe is still on my chest and smirking at me. "What are you smirking at me for Zoe Pedrad?"

Zoe shrugged and laughed impishly. "I found your room Elle. I was playing hide and seek and hid in your room."

More people were coming in and she still refused to get up. "Well that is good Zoe. Maybe you can let me up now and we can let our friends in without me getting trampled?"

Zoe nods and jumps up. "Oh Elle! He said for you to call him right fucking now. And he means it or you will be sorry."

I am standing up when I turn to face Zoe and frown deeply. "Zoe who told you that?"

She scowls and holds up my tablet phone. "The mean ass on the phone that kept calling you. He said he would be very upset and come find you if you didn't." My stomach and blood boiled at him talking to Zoe like that and did he threaten me? I started to reach my phone but that was stopped by my sister.

"Oh fucking really now?" I hear growled and then my phone is snatched from Zoe by Tris who has Four glaring behind her.

"Tris…" I warn and go to grab the phone but Eric is suddenly there and grabbing my arm.

"No Elle. He obviously isn't getting the hint." He growled out. He nodded to Tris who stepped away with my phone and Four who was glowering at Eric. He sat there chewing his lip and decided he needed to go find out what was going on with Tyler more.

My eyes whipped up to Eric. "Eric I can handle Tyler. I .."

His eyes flash anger "Like you have been handling him this entire time Electra? No you had your chance. Ignoring him and the problem won't work anymore." Pulling me out back onto the porch and allowing Four, Tris and apparently Logan to handle things he wasn't done with talking to me.

The sun was lowering behind the mountains and I saw Zeke, Uri and Scott stacking the wood and getting it ready for the bonfire in the huge stone fire pit that is perfect for that purpose. Eric pulls me further down the porch though and pushed me against the wall near the hot springs. He found a corner and then stood in front of me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I am not ignoring anything Eric." I growl in frustration and turn a glare on him.

"Oh really? You aren't? Are sure about that Electra?" He moves closer to me his eyes a bit hard and wearing scowl.

"What does that mean Eric? Yes I am sure I am not ignoring anything. Does it take me a while to process and figure things out? Yes. I am trying to figure out how relationships work and how my relationship works. It isn't perfect but that doesn't mean you just give up on it." I throw my hands up in the air.

"Even if it isn't what you really want? Do you really want to be with Tyler, Elle? Or are you just doing it because everyone is pushing you to not be with him? How about how he fucking talks to you? He just threatened you, Elle." His tone isn't cold but it is hard and angry and almost hurt.

I curse the dark because I can't see his eyes clearly to determine if that is real or not. "How do you know what I want Eric? I don't even know what I want sometimes."

"Because I see you with him. And you don't look exactly fucking happy with him. When he touches you I don't see you exactly looking like you care one way or another. I see you struggling when he tries to tell you what to do."

"Why do you care Eric? It is my relationship so I don't understand why it matters to you." I step up closer to him to try and see his eyes more clearly.

He uncrosses his arms and I can see them go to his sides in clenched fists. "You're right Stiff. I don't fucking care. It is your relationship to fuck your life up with by staying with that loser. I just thought you were smarter than that."

He steps aside and motions for me to go. I try not to feel like I was just slapped and succeed because now I am pissed. "No! You brought this up and brought me out here. You don't get to do that anymore, Eric. Either I am fucking stiff and not worth your time or I am your friend. I won't let you keep flip flopping like that on me. I can't handle that anymore."

I don't back down from his glare or his lashing out at me but I do back up and into the wall as he steps forward quickly. He ends up centimeters from my face as he leans down. "Who said I wanted to be your friend Stiff? What makes _you_ think you can talk to me like that or at all?"

"The right that you gave me by talking to _me_ like you did. Like I said Eric you can't have it both ways anymore. I am either a stiff and a little girl not worth your time or your friend." I say in a deadly soft voice. I am beyond angry right now.

"What if I don't want to be your friend Elle?" His tone is soft but not cold and there is something else to it.

"Then don't Eric. I can't force you and I won't beg you. But you need to decide what you want." I can't even help the catch in my voice when I say those words.

"You want me to decide…." he trails off and I can see his face go clear of the anger. His lips twitch into slight smirk and he holds my eyes with his own. "Are you sure about that Elle? You want me to decide right now what I want?"

I swallow and nod as I hope it doesn't hurt to much to watch him walk away as he tells me he doesn't want to be friends.

He shrugs with that smirk again. "Ok." Then his hands are on the sides of my face as he presses me against the wall. He tilts my head further up and brushes his lips against mine softly at first, as if giving me time to push him away. There was no way I could or wanted to from the moment his hands came in contact with me. Or even the moment he brought me here in this dark corner.

When I didn't push him away he deepened the kiss until his tongue flicked against my lips. With a gasp and moan I opened them willingingly as I gripped his shirt.

My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt my stomach go into knots, my knees went weak. I heard his growl of pleasure when my tongue met his and our kiss became something more than just that gentle press of the lips. The kiss slowed until he pulled away only slightly, his lips brushing against mine softly only to take my mouth in a kiss again.

My arms had worked their way to go around his neck as his own went to wrap around my waist, pulling me to and against him.

When we finally broke from the kiss we were both panting and I could feel his heart beating as hard and wild as mine. "Eric" I sighed and panted in a confused and longing tone.

He swallowed and pressed his forehead to mine. "You said I needed to decide Elle. But that was already done a long time ago."

He brushed his nose against mine and I took a breath. "But...Emma?"

Eric leaned his head back and looked at me with a frown. "What about Emma?"

I sighed with a scowl. "You and Emma."

He started chuckling and shook his head. He didn't answer and I started to get upset at him laughing at me. He leaned in and kissed me again before I could yell at him for that. When he pulled away he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Elle, Emma is my sister. There is no Emma and I in that type of way." I gasp at that and he pulls back to look at me with amusement but then smirked. "You got jealous didn't you?"

I scowl and go to deny it but he quirks an eyebrow at me. I blow out a huff. "Yes." I grind out.

His smirk deepens and he kisses me again, leaving me breathless by the end. When he pulls away he strokes my face. "Good." He tilts his head and we both listen to the milling around of people. "Elle, you need to decide what you want now. When you do you know where to find me. Just know I am not exactly a patient man, but I have waited for you. I don't do that kind of thing. I have tried to give you time and room but I can't anymore. Either way Elle…." he stops and kisses me again deeply before pulling away and pressing his lips to my forehead "Either way you are far too good for Tyler and deserve more. Don't let him treat you like that Elle."

I hear my name being called by Tris and we both get our breathing under control before he backs away. He cups my cheek and lightly moves a thumb over it before he drops it with a sigh. "You go first. I will wait a bit before I go. We will talk again Elle." His voice went back to the not quite cold but shuttered voice he normally uses.

I swallowed as a shiver ran down my spine at his words though. He saw or felt it and smirked but the put his hand on my back and gave me a small push and caress.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I really am loving all the feedback, suggestions and just overall nerding outness with this story. Thanks everyone. Yay! Elle finally loses her stubborness! Unfortunately assholes like Tyler don't go away all that easily. I hope everyone enjoys the chapter I will have at least one more for the weekend retreat/celebration.**

 **Chapter 6**

As I walked away I used my ability to put myself out of my feelings if only to get them under control for the moment. Tris would think it was me trying to calm down anyways.

She was walking from the other side of the porch as if she went there to look for me first. "Over here Tris!" I called and jogged to catch up to her.

She sees me and looks relieved then meets me and links her arm with mine. Sighing in relief and frustration she walks me into the lodge and straight over to the bar that is set up in the dining area. "We need to talk Elle. I have held my tongue and let you…"

"Tris, I am breaking up with Tyler." I say flatly as I interrupt her. She had been in the middle of pouring both of us a rum and coke and she stopped as she looked at me in surprise.

I felt and heard more people walking over towards us. I knew it was most likely Four and Logan. She was searching my eyes and narrowed them as she finished pouring the drinks and handed me it. "Are you really? Or are you just saying that because you know I am beyond furious right now?"

I take a big drink, because fuck if I don't need it after everything with Eric. That is all that is on my mind right now to be honest. Wondering how I can cure this damn ache his kisses put into me. "No I am serious. I was already thinking that time away would be good for us. There were issues that I had been trying to work through on my part but then there were others on his."

I take another sip and Four crosses his arms and frowns. "Besides the obvious, what kind of issues where there Elle?"

Logan snorts and grabs the whiskey. "Here. You are going to need that. Fuck! What am I saying. I am going to need it. Elle, give me a minute while I take shot or two to be able to handle this shit again."

He and I both turn red causing Tris and Four to look between the two of us with confused expressions. I sigh and nod to Logan. "You guys should probably listen to him."

Four starts to mutter under his breath and grabs the bottle from Logan, tips it back and takes a couple of big swigs. The two guys pass that around a few times before they wipe their mouths and plop into stools and look to me. Tris and I were laughing as we took sips of our drinks.

"You guys look like you are lining up to face the firing squad." I grumble still a bit red.

Tris sighs and looks at me a bit pained. "Elle, is it really bad? I mean did he hurt you or something?"

I croak out laughter. "It was bad. Just not in the way I think you are thinking."

Logan snorts in laughter as his eyes hold mine. He holds out his fist for a fist bump and winks at me. I oblige him and he laughs his next words. "Good burn Elle. Good burn."

His response helps to enlighten Tris and Four to what we are referring to and Four stops, shakes his head and looks at me. He is struggling between wanting to be there and for me to be able to talk about things with him but he can't. His abnegation is and has always been too strong.

He pops up, kisses my forehead and looks to my sister. "I am going to go to help Zeke with the bonfire and then getting the grills set up. I am sure you two can handle this. Let her know what I said about him though."

She nods to Four and he leans in to kiss her cheek before he stalks off with his brooding look in full force. My eyes follow him and take in the room. Eric and Emma are talking in the kitchen but Shauna and Lauren are in there too. His eyes are also focused on us at the bar from time to time. I can tell he is tense and wanting to come over but giving me room, like he has always been doing apparently.

Zaria is by the couches with Scott and Hector. She casts worried looks to me too but I just smile and shake my head at her. She nods but I can tell until I talk to her she isn't going to stop worrying.

Tris clears her throat and I turn to face her. "Ok so let's start with the issues of his. I won't judge or preach. Just talk them out with me Elle."

I frown in thought. "He is always trying to tell me what to do. Not even in the way Four does, but even with the smallest things. Don't wear this, don't go there. I don't like you seeing this person or taking this class. It wasn't like that at first. He was sweet to me, funny even. When I said I would be his girlfriend it started to change slowly and I thought it was just him being protective. I still told him I didn't like it though and anytime he would try and pull that shit we fought."

Tris shook her head and took a drink. Logan's jaw was clenched but he didn't say anything. "Go ahead Elle." Tris said simply.

I took a deep breath. "It got worse when we became...intimate. He wanted to know every move I made from the time I opened my eyes to the time I closed them. He was either wanting me to message him or was already messaging me."

Tris' face turned stormy but she nodded. "Ok. How long?"

I looked down at my drink and sighed. "Two months. I didn't decide to until two months ago."

Tris sighed. "Decide? Elle...did you _want_ to?"

I frowned in thought and nodded. "Yes I wanted to but I am not sure for the right reasons. I wanted to take that next step and show him, myself and…" I trail off looking at her but then look away.

"Fuck Elle! You did it to show us you were serious about him?" Her tone was getting upset now and Logan looked to her.

He had at first closed his eyes and looked pained but then turned to Tris. "No judgements Tris. Or you leave this conversation. It doesn't matter why she made her decision, she did. I will not allow you and sure as fuck I will not allow Four, to make her feel like shit because of that. At least she was living her life Tris. She made a decision and went for it. Isn't that what we are about?"

This is why I love Logan. This is why he is my confidant and why I went to him with that utterly embarrassing question. I smile at him before I go and hug him tightly. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead and sighs then whispers to me. "I still hate the fucker and wish it had been someone else Elle."

I nod and go back to my seat but Tris pulls me into her arms and hugs me close. "I am sorry Elle. You just deserve so much more. You deserve passion and love. I just wish that had been your first experience instead."

I pull back with a shrug. "Well, I live and learn. Now I know what I don't want and I don't want that anymore."

She nods and smiles. "Thank fuck." Sighing she holds my eyes and smirks a bit. "He was terrible wasn't he?"

I turn red and laugh a little. "I don't know about terrible. I just could never...I mean I don't know if I can." I rubbed my neck and frowned. "What if I am not normal in that department and that is why?"

Logan takes the whiskey bottle and tips it back but looks stunned when Tris takes it and tips it back. She passes it back to him and looks at me as if she dreads asking something. "Have you been able to...you know when not with him?"

I turn red and look up nodding. Yeah I have, but it wasn't because I was thinking of him at all. "Yeah but I was thinking of…"

Tris' snort interrupted me and shook her head. "So you were fantasizing about someone else?"

I gulp, still looking at a spot above her head and nod. "Yep". I say and pop the 'p'.

She laughs and shakes her head. "Do I want to know who?" I chance to look at her and before she masks them her eyes have an almost knowing look.

I narrow mine at her. "Fuck no! And fuck no I am not telling you." I toss back my drink. "Anyways, pretty much this morning when I decided we needed time away I also thought maybe that wasn't normal. To not want that with the person you are with. Don't get me wrong Tris, I care deeply for Tyler. Yes I am seeing the bad in him now but I saw the good first. I know he has his issues and I don't know everything about his past. But he was good with me too. I didn't just give myself to him to spite everyone but also because I have real feelings for him. I am just coming to realize now that those feelings aren't the kind that makes for that kind of relationship and I was forcing it on my part."

"So you are done with him for sure Elle?" Logan asks seriously.

I nod with a frown. "Yeah. Don't get all pissy but had he not talked to Zoe like that or threatened me I might not have gotten to that point yet. I would have taken the time to think things through. I can't ignore those actions though and I can't forgive his behavior even over the phone with my Zoe." I scowl at the thought of him ranting and raving on the phone to that sweet little girl.

Logan nods and looks at Tris. She nods and takes out my tablet. "Then call him and tell him. We won't tell you what to say but you need to do it now and don't let him sweet talk you back. If you need to, look at his messages before you do Elle."

I frown and pull up his messages. My scowl gets deeper as I read. When I missed lunch he had started to get increasingly hateful and even accusing me of being out and fucking someone else. They got erratic and crazy but one thing that he kept saying was that I was lucky to have him and that no one else would want me. Then he would rant again about me being with someone else and I was a cheating whore. It went on like that over and over.

I felt myself shaking in anger. My rage was building and I needed to hit something or someone. Logan turned my face to look at him and held my eyes. "Can you separate yourself from the anger Elle? Try and do that because if not all we got is maybe sparring."

I start shaking my head and pull away to pace and try and get calm. My nostrils are flaring and my chest is heaving. I go to a wall and face it, I put a hand out to brace myself and hang my head. I have to get my shit together. I need to be calm and collected because talking to him is going to make me upset again and I can't go into it while I am already in this stage. I would say screw and wait until the weekend is over but fuck that I want it done now. I want to go there and fucking punch his lights out is what I really want to do. To look him in the eye and tell him to cocky ass face it is over.

It takes a few minutes and I hear Eric and Logan right behind me talking. As much as Eric inspires my body to burn he also comforts me. He has from that first day I met him. Just him being near starts to ease some of the rage and I can breath better.

When I finally turn to look at them I am outside of my feelings. Logan narrows his eyes to take me in and nods. "Good. Now call him. You can go outside but don't go far Elle. Again, not trying to tell you what to do it's just I know you are still pissed and he is likely to make it worse. I can already tell you are almost ready to take off and go find him and as much I would fucking love you to do that and be there with you, he isn't even worth that effort. It might even be what he wants to do. To piss you off enough to get you back there. I will be by the fire waiting or if you need me."

I nod and my eyes move to Eric who is looking worried and full of rage. He also looks like he wants to pull me to him but instead he moves to the side with his jaw clenched and lets me pass.

I walk to the bar and down the rest of my drink. Tris is still there so I sigh. "Tris, I would like you to go outside with me when I call him."

Tris nods and gives me a smile but also looks relieved I am letting her be there for me. "Logan make sure Four stays away please. Elle and I are going to walk around the lodge but we won't go too far."

Logan's jaw clenches and he nods then looks over to Eric who just rolls his eyes and walks back to sit with Emma who is talking to Elise and Caleb.

Linking her arm with mine as we walk out and I lead her to the hot springs area. There are stone benches set around the huge in ground natural jacuzzi.

I take a deep breath and dial Tyler.

-"It's about fucking time. Where the fuck are you Elle?" He practically yells and I can tell he is either at a bar or in the Pit.

"Tyler you can stop right there. I told you I was spending my last two days with my family. I made it clear I wouldn't be available either."

-"You are going to tell me where you are and I am coming to get you Elle. You are my girlfriend and belong to me and with me."

I start to growl but then shake my head. "I am not your girlfriend Tyler. Not anymore. I am also going nowhere near you again. I don't belong to you and never did. I am my own person. I would appreciate it if you lost my number."

-"You aren't fucking breaking up with me Elle. You are lucky I am even with you. You are lucky anyone is with you. You're lousy fucking lay and the only reason I haven't left is because I love you. Now stop being stupid and tell me where the fuck you are right now. And don't think your fucking bitch sister and her little fuck toy will stop me. I told her when she called me earlier that she wouldn't come between us and I mean that. That bitch owes me for what she did to me during training. Making her little sister my bitch is only part of that repayment."

Tris' hand tightens on mine and I close my eyes. How could someone that was saying they loved you talk to you like that and say those things? How could I not see past his mask. Was this always there?

When I look back I can see that yeah it was. Yes all the Dauntless guys can be dicks but he loved being a dick, not a dick he loved being cruel at times. During fights he would say things to wound me the worst possible way and made me feel vulnerable and weak. Then he would say he loved me and he was sorry and I fell for it because I didn't want to admit everyone was right. I didn't want to admit that I had been wrong or that I made the wrong decisions with him. I felt tears threaten me but also the rage start to build again.

I hadn't truly loved him but I had cared deeply. I had given him a part of myself. I knew I had doubts but I had wanted to put myself out there with him. My heart broke but not from the loss of him. It broke because I had lost myself in all of that. I did this to myself.

"Then I guess it isn't such a fucking loss, me breaking up with you. Have a good life Tyler." I hang up before I can hear whatever else he might be saying.

I drop the phone into my lap and look up to Tris and I allow my emotions to surface. I don't focus on the rage instead I let myself feel the heartbreak and I start to sob.

Tris pulls me into her arms and growls all while she is soothing me.

"Don't cry over him...please Elle. You are breaking my heart wasting tears on him." Tris pleads with me after I had been crying for a good five minutes.

I shake my head and my tears slow. "I'm not crying for him Tris. I am crying for me. I allowed this to happen to myself. I got lost somehow in all of that time. I let myself become someone I am not and never will be. I am not sorry that I am breaking things off, just that I allowed my pride and stubbornness to keep me from doing it sooner. I tried to tell myself that all relationships are hard and none are perfect. I kept justifying things because….I didn't want to be wrong. What the fuck is wrong with me Tris? I knew I didn't truly want to be with him like that. When he touched me I didn't feel shit. Not in the way everyone always said I should. I started to think it was me...that I was just fucking incapable of feeling that way. I know that isn't true now but I did for a while."

Tris sighs and still rubs my back. "I am glad you're not heartbroken about him. Don't be too hard on yourself though. Relationships are tricky in general and first relationships are even trickier because most times you don't know what you really want."

I nod with a frown and we sit there in the quiet for a little while before I sigh. "Was it easy for you and Four in the beginning?"

She gives a bark of laughter and shakes her head. "No Elle it was anything but easy. There was all that shit with Erudite going on and me trying to hide being a divergent. I was a mess because I didn't know who I could trust or not. Training was crazy and I missed you all so badly. I was a mess and meeting Four during all of that didn't make it better. It seemed to make it worse because it was one more thing for me to add to all of that. Four had his own issues too but the attraction was so strong that we couldn't not at least be around each other as much as we could. We used any excuse possible."

I frown and nod because I had that just with Eric. With Tyler I had to force myself to allow him to be intimate with me at first. I had thought for a bit it was a holdover from being Abnegation but that wasn't right. As I found out earlier. "What about now? I know you disagree and work through that but is it hard? What about the whole passion or attraction part of it?"

I know she is already blushing some at my last question. "The passion is still there but it changes. Sometimes it feels like it did before we were intimate and all I felt was longing, sometimes it isn't so desperate and just more meaningful." She smiles at me and squeezes then takes a breath and answers the last part.

"It is hard only because sometimes we have to remember the other person when we are disagreeing. When you are so set against or for something...it can blind a person to what matters. Take for instance the whole incident with my taking leadership. Four didn't want me anywhere near it because of his own past with the position and those times he was sure about all of the leaders but more specifically Eric, working with Jeanine. He didn't want me anywhere near Eric to be trained. He was letting his own issues blind him to the fact that Eric had never been involved with that whole mess like he thought. Only two leaders had anything to do with it and we know what happened to them. I was just as passionate about that I wanted to take it. All I saw was the good I could do for the faction and I thought he was just trying to control me."

I frown remembering that whole month. They had barely spoke to one another and I had been stunned to say the least. I had also felt it was something I had done because it was shortly after I went to Dauntless. "I remember that. I couldn't understand what was going on or if I had done something to cause it. You guys had never really said why you weren't talking or why Four started working so much more."

Tris frowns and gasps, pulling me close to her. "No Elle. I am so sorry. It was never anything you did and I am sorry I didn't see you might feel that way. Is that why you hardly ever came home then?"

I nod and then frown myself remembering something. Logan had let me come to his place a lot and spend time to myself reading. Eric had started to show up and that was when we started having real talks. Watching movies together even or just sitting there reading together. Towards the end we weren't even trying to not sit beside each other and sometimes….

"Tris, I need to ask you something and you have to promise you cannot tell anyone or especially Four." I get serious and quiet.

"Ok, if it is that serious I promise. What's going on?" I can hear the worry in her voice.

"First, I need to say that I have known my feelings about this for a while now. I might not have understood it or known what to do or if there was anything I could do, but it was always there. I have an attraction and more than an attraction to someone. But I think it would hurt my relationship with Four...maybe even you. It could hurt that person too possibly because Four hates him enough I think." I whisper that last part.

Tris takes a breath and then chuckles. "Wow, I wondered when you would realize it."

My head snaps over to her but I can't see her in the dark. "You know who it is?"

I know she is rolling her eyes as she laughs. "Well what you just said would tell me if I hadn't already known, but yes. I knew at least on his part for a while, though he tries to hide it. It is hard to miss his looks to you though or his actions for you. Your part, I could see your confusion but I knew you needed to figure it out on your own. That was why I was always asking you about how you felt about Tyler. Or I allowed those damn chick flick nights with the girls so they could wax poetic about their feelings about love and sex."

We both shuddered at the mention of girls nights and then laughed. I got serious again. "What if I want to try and be with him?"

Tris sighs but not in a disappointed or upset manner. "Has he said anything to you?"

I tense and then sigh. "Yeah we...he kissed me. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time."

She squeezes my shoulders and laughs. "I remember that feeling. It was the same I had with Four. I never wanted to stop but at the same time felt like I might bolt. It wasn't the physical part that had me scared but what it did to me inside that made me scared as hell."

I smile and feel warmth just thinking about the kiss. "He said I needed to decide but that he had a long time ago. That he had given me time and room but he couldn't anymore."

She nods against my shoulder and I rest my head on hers. "It sounds like you have already made up your mind."

I shrug and frown in thought. "It isn't being scared of trying that would stop me or being scared of him. If anything I am scared of not trying if that makes sense. What is stopping me is…"

Tris sighs and chuckles ruefully. "Yeah Four and Eric's whole 'I am male hear me roar' thing."

I break out into laughter and am about to reply when I hear Four speaking. "Well it doesn't sound like she is too broken up. So maybe we don't need to send out the hit squad."

Four, Logan, Zeke, Caleb and even Eric come around and walk closer.

Tris squeezes me and then we straighten up. "Elle is just fine, thank you very much. My sister knows how to handle herself and assholes like Tyler. He still isn't getting the hint judging by the amount of messages and calls that have been flooding her phone since she told him to fuck off. So we will need to get her message/number information changed and soon."

I frowned and picked up the phone in my lap. It was on silent and I hadn't noticed that happening. Caleb frowned and stepped forward with his hand out. "Give it here Elle and I will get that all taken care of."

Eric shook his head for a moment. "Before you wipe anything though send those messages that he sent to Tris and copy leadership please. We want to document it if he keeps harassing her and he already verbally threatened her."

Calebs face was hard. I could already tell by his posture and the tension in his body. "I will certainly do that. I'll get the phone back to you in the morning Elle but we won't worry about that right now. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You two were gone so long we worried that you took off to gut Tyler and Tris went along with you."

I put the phone in his hand and then chuckled. "No but I think Tris almost bolted after him with some of the shit he was saying."

Tris growled and her jaw clenched. "He will be lucky if I don't do that anyways when I get back. Calling my sister his little bitch and a bad lay. I am seriously fucking contemplating pinning him to the fucking target board with my knives and then seeing just how close to his shit I can get without causing serious damage."

I frown at the reminder of my inexperience and apparent lack of ability to please someone. Logan stomps up to me and bends down in front of me swiftly. So swiftly I didn't know he could move that fast. He gripped my chin in his hand and lifted my head. "Elle stop that shit right now. I mean it. Don't let that fucker get inside your head. We can talk about this later if you want just remember the fucking whiskey. For right now I will say this shit. A real man doesn't stoop to that and for fucking sure not one that loves the person he is saying he does. Those are his issues not yours so don't listen to his shit about that at all. Got me?"

I turn red and nod in his hand. "Got it, and yeah we would need the whiskey for sure."

Logan shakes his head laughing. "I haven't turned that fucking red since I was in diapers. So yeah, we'll whiskey up for that conversation."

I lean out and hug him tightly. "Thank you Logan. If it makes you feel any better that conversation helped to put the lid on the coffin that was a fucked up relationship apparently."

His chest rumbled. "Well at least some fucking good came out of that awkwardness. Speaking of, can we go get dinner down now and then relax around that bonfire that is blazing?"

I pulled back and nodded. I looked to Tris who got up with a smile and pulled Four along with her and a smirk in her voice. "Come on Four go buy me a beer or something. I feel like I need one too."

I can tell Four doesn't want to leave because he sees me not getting up right away. Zeke comes over and gives me a kiss on top of my head and then he and Logan walk off. Caleb had already walked off when sex had started being alluded to, muttering and growling curses to Tyler.

Then it was just Eric. He came over and took up the same position Logan had just been in, but his hand went to cup my cheek and lightly stroked it. "You've been crying." He growled out as he felt my cheeks and the tears that were now dried but had left trails of their path apparent.

I nod and lean into his hand. "Yes, but not because I am sorry I ended things. I think they were tears of anger at myself or being pissed off in general."

It is quiet for a moment and then I hear and feel his sigh of relief. "So you are ok?"

I frown and nod "As ok as I can be with being disappointed in myself. But yes I am ok."

I feel his smile even in the dark as he traces his thumb over my lips. "Good." He replies softly. "Did talking to Tris help?"

I swallow down my urge to open my mouth and take his thumb into it and nod. His thumb moves away from my lips and in an impressive amount of muscle control his raises up and kisses me softly as he basically holds himself in a squat.

The moment his lips touch mine I sigh and moan in pleasure as I scoot forward and wrap my arms around his neck. Our tongues slide against each other as his arms slide around my waist. We kiss deeply and slowly, savoring it and each other before we pull away when the urgency seemed to be growing.

"Elle" He breathes against my lips, almost in a plea for something.

"Eric" I match his plea with one of my own before I tentatively bring my lips to kiss him again but gently do something I had only fantasized about as I suck in his lower lip.

His growl of approval and groan of desire is everything and I feel it resonate deep within me. He let's me lead the kiss until his stands up, patience broken, bringing with me and against his body. He takes over the kiss and every amount of passion I had ever lived without starts to break free from me. We barely pull away in time as we hear laughs as Zoe and the twins come skipping over to us.

"Elle and Eric, we want to eat! You have to come!" Zoe rushes up and takes my hand while the twins start to climb Eric.

I can't help my grin at his reaction, which is to scoop them up and making them laugh. "Well then let's go feed the gremlins." Before we walk off though he leans closer to me. "We will finish that conversation later Elle." His voice is a purr and it sends a smile and shivers down me.

"I am looking forward to it." I try and do a purr back and it causes him to growl.

We let Zoe and the twins talk us forward as we make our way to dinner. I feel like I am walking on a cloud of desire and happiness almost. With a sigh we enter the lodge and head over to get food. Eric puts the twins down as they runoff. Zoe smirks at me and follows them to get her own plate.

Eric stays close even when Four starts to glare at him. He doesn't show it on his face but I can see in his eyes he is already considering our interaction outside to be my answer for now. We will still need to talk about things because there is still the issue that Four will try and cause crap for him. Eric wouldn't be any better in the reverse situation and I internally shake my head at how similar those two are but telling them that would be a huge mistake. Of course I have no room to talk because my temper is exactly like the two of them.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Kind of a long chapter. This weekend retreat is just growing. But it is fitting the flow of where I want things to progress and they don't seem to be complaining. I think maybe one more chapter to two will wrap up the weekend and then we get into academy. There will be detail galore about military prep, tension, drama and hopefully things continue to heat up for Elle and Eric! Also...I have another account that I just didn't delete and move my stories over here so I have been bouncing between the two and trying to get a thesis paper done. Comparison of the might and reach of the Gaul and Roman Empires and that takes tons of research. If posts come slow I apologize.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 7**

"This is pretty amazing, isn't it?" Zaria asked me from a chair across from me with her big smile on her face.

I smile just as big and nod with my beer in my hand. Watching the bonfire and people milling around and just enjoying watching as they all enjoy themselves.

Four is sitting on a stone bench near the bonfire area and Tris is on his lap with her arms around his neck. They are both laughing and smiling and looking lighter than I have seen them in a while.

Emma is talking with a few of the senior members, laughing a laugh that is causing the seemingly hard men to become infected with it and crack smiles just as wide.

Shauna and Zeke, Lynn and Candice, Will and Chris are all dancing on a makeshift dance floor. Gyrating against each other.

Eric, Logan and Uri all have drinks in their hands and seem to be enjoying themselves and relaxed as they stand or lean near the bonfire themselves.

"It's perfect." I nod at Zaria and she smiles and then gives me a huff and flops back into her chair.

I quirk an eyebrow at her dramatics and she shrugs. "I am just glad to have you back, Elle. You were….you weren't yourself there for a while. You were just so fucking unhappy but the more I said anything…." She trailed off with a frown.

I nodded and sighed. "I know. That is my only regret in it all. I don't regret that I tried with him or that he was my first. I know Tris and Logan wish it had been someone I loved or just a better experience. That would have been nice but it isn't very logical. Not everyone has a love story like Four and Tris you know. Besides that. I learned from it. About myself and what I want. What kind of person I want to feel like in a relationship and how I want to be treated."

Zaria nods and chews on her lip. She looks pensive and a bit broody. Zaria never gets this way unless she needs to talk seriously about something.

Sensing we need to talk and relax at the same time I get a wicked grin. "Oi!" I call to get her attention. Her eyes snap to mine and sees my grin. "Want to get in that hot springs now?"

Her grin matches mine as we scramble out of the chairs, laughing and pushing each other. I can hear Scott call out asking what we are up to but we are already running to get changed, grab towels and meet back on the stairs.

She laughs at me as I head straight for the bar and I grab a bottle of the tequila. "Get the patron. I hate that worm tequila. Besides we won't need limes or salt. I will grab some more beers for us."

I smirk with a shrug. "Roger that." I search for the Patron but also grab the worm tequila.

Heading out of the lodge we pass the gathered groups. Logan smirks at me as we pass and shakes his head. "Don't think you are getting away with sneaking those bottles in the towel you are carrying." He shrugs at my glare. "Well at least not getting away with drinking them alone."

I smirk and roll my eyes. "I kind of already knew to expect that Logan. Zaria and I just had the initiative to get the ball rolling."

I blushed when I realized I was just in my bikini top and shorts with my hair piled into a messy bun on top of my head. I realized this because of Eric's eyes roving over me slowly. I swallowed causing him to smirk then pull his eyes away and quirk an eyebrow at Logan.

They must have been sharing a secret bro message but I didn't stay to interpret it. Zaria was pulling my arm and we raced to the hot springs. Someone had already thought to turn the solar lamps that circled all around it on and it was beautifully lit up. We dumped our towels on a chair and pulled that up near where we were going to get in. Zaria had put on cut off jean shorts similar to mine and we pulled them off.

"You get in first Zaria and I will hand you our patron and two beers for us." I ordered as I also looked around at the covering. There were speakers built into stone surrounding the springs and the porch area.

Zaria got in and I handed her the bottles then moved off to where what I was looking for was most likely hidden. "What are you doing Elle?" She asked but I can tell the water must feel nice because it comes out more like a sigh.

I giggle but keep walking. I know that the others must be getting ready to head here because I can hear less noise coming from near the bonfire than there was moments ago. I find the control panel for the music system and almost salivate at the tech.

"Damn that is fucking mouthwatering." I mutter and start playing with the controls. "They even have mood lighting systems? What the fuck is mood lighting?" I yell to Zaria and she bursts into laughter.

"Bow chic a wow wow." She giggles and sings out. My face turns flaming red and I shake my head.

"Well fuck that. We don't need a bunch of drunk horny ass Dauntless being set off by fucking lights. I don't need to see that shit again." I yell back to her.

"Well then you should learn to knock Elle!" Scott yells as he rounds the corner red faced too and with a laughing Hector.

I put on the music playlist I created with a combination of all types of beats and genres then turn to face him glaring. I sigh when I see Eric glaring a bit but then Logan elbows him.

"Scott, I didn't need to see that much Tonya. Thank the gods that you weren't in that ten second flash. But I still can't look at Tonya. Not without seeing…." I shudder and huff. "Not enough whiskey in the world to burn that image out of my mind. Maybe tequila will help." I mutter and walk over to where Zaria is laughing and holding out the bottle for me. I climb in beside her and sigh as I sink into the water.

"Pretty fucking amazing." Zaria repeats her earlier words and I sigh as I feel all kinds of tension leave me.

"Pretty fucking amazing." I agree and take the bottle from her. I clink the tequila bottle to her bottle of beer and we take our respective drinks.

I already know who slides in beside me and I swear he lets his bare ribs slide against me on purpose. I shiver and close my eyes, let my head fall back onto the stones and start to count under my breath. It never works with him.

He chuckles and plucks the bottle from me. I crack open an eye and watch him take a drink. With a sigh I look to Zaria who is trying not to eye me and smirk. I narrow my eyes at her. "So what did you need to talk about Zaria?" I ask as I grab my own beer and start to sip it.

She takes a big drink of hers and sighs. "Well what you said earlier about learning from the relationship and not letting yourself regret it. That and about that not all first times are great or like Four and Tris…."

I try not to blush at the reminder and in front of Eric. "Yeah. What about it?"

"Well when we talked the other day and I was ranting at you about Tyler. You said the same thing you always did about that you don't just give up on something because it is hard or doesn't match up to what you might have imagined. It got me thinking about Tank." Her voice got a bit pained.

I sighed and nodded. "You miss him." It isn't a question. I already knew she loved him and he was over the moon about her.

She nodded and looked even more pained. I was surprised when I felt an arm reach around my shoulders. Eric was handing her the bottle of tequila, but he was using the action to also have an excuse to put his arm behind me. I looked over to him and he just shrugged and winked. More people were coming to the springs and I thought for sure he would pull away.

He must have known what I was thinking because he just shook his head with a slight smirk.

Zaria had taken a drink and Logan had asked for the bottle. He was across from us with a smirk of his own, just looking at Eric and me. I think he was also going to try and run interference with Four. At least I hoped he would. He was usually able to calm Four down.

"Yeah I miss him. I am sure you know he wasn't the one that ended things either." Zaria said turning to face me.

I nodded and smiled sadly. "Yeah. He was pretty broken up about it and came to me begging me to tell him what he did. You never wanted to talk about it so I couldn't answer him but I wouldn't have anyways because I knew you had your reasons. I knew how you felt about him Zaria."

She frowned and tipped back her beer. "It wasn't anything he did. Not really Elle. It just felt too perfect. When we argued it hurt but then when we made up or came to some resolution it was like I felt such relief that we weren't angry at each other. Like part of myself was whole again. I got scared Elle. I was sixteen and I didn't want to feel that way so young. I felt like maybe it was only because he was my first."

I chew on my lip and furrow my forehead. "Yeah maybe you were scared but you aren't wrong about being young. Remember what I also said about my experience. I know what I don't want now. Now you know what you do and don't want."

She nods and looks almost like she might break down before her back goes straight and chin high. I smirk at her and wink. "Then I guess Tank better get ready. Because I will get his stubborn ass back."

I laugh and sip my beer. "I feel sorry for any girl that tries to get in the way of that shit. But I don't think you will have to work too hard Zaria. He was always waiting for you. He told me he would. Not that I was telling you that shit. But he told me that he would give you the space you needed."

Her smile returns back to it's normal stunning appearance. "I love you Elle. I am sorry I have been such a…"

I splash her with water to get her stop, tired of talking about feelings and Tyler. I was over it, which was pretty fucking sad that I could get over him that quickly. The hurt from what I did to myself and my worries about being able to please someone...that would stick with me. "Enough of the touchy feely shit or being all introspective. I don't want to live out a real fucking life chick flick. We are here to relax and drink. And maybe get my favorite professor drunk again." I say with a wicked smirk at Emma who just slid into place beside Logan.

She blushes and I grin even bigger. "As long as there is coffee and aspirin and we don't pass out on a lab floor again. I think I will be ok."

Logan looks to her with a quirked eyebrow and I feel Eric quietly laughing beside me. "Elle you are a terrible fucking influence." Logan mutters but he passes the tequila to Emma.

My eyes narrow as I watch the two and things start clicking. Logan's girl was still in Erudite. He had been surprised I had known Emma so well. He has her brother watching out for her for him that tells him how she is. His look of longing when she first got here. "Holly shit!" I cry out looking between the two of them.

Eric must know what I figured out because he leaned closer to my ear, his arm going closer to my shoulder. "Pretty observant of you Elle. Let them work things out on their own though."

I look up to him and our faces are close enough to kiss. I want to so badly and I can tell he does too. We settle for pressing closer in the water.

For the next thirty minutes we all just kind of shoot the shit. Tris has been trying to distract Four and it seems to be working although his does still send glares in Eric's way and his lips thin anytime it looks like we are too close. The springs is full as almost everyone that is in the core group and the others that joined are in now.

I should have known it was coming but I didn't even prepare for it. I was in the middle of talking to Eric, Logan and Emma about the battle simulation when Zeke stood on the ledge of the springs, fresh bottles of whiskey, tequila and rum in his hand. We had all gone through the others I had already brought. I was pretty darn buzzed and Emma was giggling so I knew she was past that.

"Alright game time! Candor or Dauntless." He called with a grin and I groaned beside him.

"Well, it's been real, but I think I am done for the night." I frown and start to get up.

Eric's arm around my shoulder and other hand that locks to my arm under the water locks me in place to stop me. I feel jolts of warm at his touch and it makes me feel even more buzzed and hazy feeling.

Logan smirks at me while Emma giggles more than buzzed for sure with a goofy grin on her face. "Ah come on Elle. Are you too chicken?"

I scowl at her and the laughs that follow her statement. "Fuck no! They just stopped giving me the Dauntless option and their questions are just weird. So I don't find a need to play."

"You're playing Elle!" Tris calls with a smirk. "You pick Candor a few times and we will make sure to give you Dauntless."

I pout slightly. "Did you guys plan this shit to wait until I was in a bathing suit? I think you did because you knew I would just go put on more layers if we were outside of a damn body of water."

Zaria, Scott and Hector start rubbing their hands together gleefully. I shot them the middle finger. "I know where you fuckers will be sleeping in a few days. Just remember that. All I am saying. Damn it someone better pass me something to drink to handle this shit."

Logan holds out a bottle of whiskey to me with a wink.

"Alright we'll start out with Zeke since he so kindly suggested the game." Logan yelled out.

With that the game started. I wasn't picked on right away thankfully. It was coming soon though because the Pedrad's tend to go after family first and when it came to Zaria she looked to me with a wink.

"Elle. Well you get Candor because you haven't earned your Dauntless yet." Her smirk sent shivers down my spine and I tipped back the bottle bracing myself. "What exactly was that experiment you and Mrs. Olson worked on and when did you do this experiment?"

I turn bright fire engine red at the mention of that. Emma blushes but giggles and shakes her head. "Yeah Elle! What was the experiment?"

My jaw drops open and my eyes bug out at her. "Emma! What the fuck happened to pain of death and vowing to never speak of it?"

She shrugs and smirks. "I wasn't the brains behind it. I just helped put my stamp of approval on it so Dr. Carver would pick it up."

Will and Caleb look over at me at that but Caleb speaks first. "Elle, what were you doing working on something in psychology affecting physiology?"

I growl "One question and that wasn't it." I take a deep breath and curse Eric being right fucking beside me. Who is now rubbing circles on my arm with the hand that never let go of my arm to keep me in place.

I look around and see that I am not getting out of this. "Logan, Caleb, Four; you might need a shot...or ten. So not fucking playing right now. Hell...give me a moment."

Eric groans beside me and after I have drank some he takes the bottle and tips it back before handing it to Logan who is turning red. Zaria raises her eyebrow and looks between Eric and I. Tris looks to be whispering to Four who is looking worried but also like he is working up to supernova stage as his eyes go between me and Eric.

I take a deep breath before I begin. "Fuck it! Ok. I got curious what a male actually…you know feels when he ejaculates...or a girl for that matter. So I created a serum that would allow a person male or female to experience the mental and physical aspect of those things as their partner feels them. They don't have to be in the same room. The two people take the serum then do whatever it is that they fucking want to do. I even created a portable little node station that is connected via the network so they can be across the city from each other. Next thing you know you are both feeling everything the other does. I never went through with the experiments myself because...well I got sober and I didn't have a partner that I wanted to experience that with anyways. Might not have even had the thought if I did." I mutter that last part causing Logan and Tris to snicker into their drinks. "Also, Dr. Carver said I needed to have people who were completely unaware of the project and how it worked at all to get good analysis. Apparently Mrs. Carver still sings my praises though and Dr. Carver doesn't act like such a pompous dick anymore. Satisfied Zaria?"

Mouths dropped open and some people were laughing. Tris looked red but had a weird look in her eye while Four was red as hell. I made myself look over at Eric and his eyes were dilated, nostrils flared but he was also a bit red too.

"Yeah we need to have that conversation soon Elle." His voice was strained and low. That and his look sent the burning course through me. Even more.

Zaria cleared her throat and shook her head. "Not quite because I asked when you created it."

I got even more red. "A month and a half ago." I answered quietly.

This caused Tris and Logan to bark out in laughter as they looked at me knowingly. "Fuck. That almost made my night Elle. That and you dumping his ass finally." Logan said with a big smile.

"So glad I could be here for your amusement Logan. My turn." I get a wicked grin as I look between Logan and Emma who probably don't even realize she is almost sitting in his lap.

I feel Eric's smirk beside me. "Emma dear. Candor or Dauntless."

Either way I plan to make her squirm but I hope she chooses Dauntless. I see her eyes narrow at me but her goofy smile is still in place. "Dauntless!" She calls out a bit defiantly.

I wipe my face of emotion after a flash of wicked delight. I act bored and shrug. "Ok. If you say so. How about you…" I make it look like I am thinking but I already know. "Fuck it. I guess a one minute kiss with the person to your right." Which was Logan.

I saw both of them swallow and Emma's eyes go wide. Then her chin raises and she turns, moves to sit in his lap and then all resistance for the both of them broke. Their eyes locked and Logan pulled her to him. To say it was passionate isn't even the word for it.

"Well damn." I mutter and look to Eric who looks down at me.

"You know you invited her to do the same to you now." He shrugged with a little smirk, as if he wouldn't be too upset if she did.

"That would be bad with the whole Four thing Eric." I growl and his eyes narrow as he tilts his head.

"Is that your only reservation about us? How Four is going to react?" I can feel his body tense as if he dreads that it will be more.

"I just don't want him getting you in trouble Eric. I am a dependent and all that." I answer truthfully and frown.

He relaxes and smirks. "You are an of age Dauntless faction member. The rules are different after 18 Elle. Part of why I had to wait. Oh, he will still be an ass and cause shit but I don't give a fuck. Not if you think you can handle it."

Emma and Logan break apart when Zeke laughs out that it was time. But I still am holding Eric's eyes as he waits for me to make my decision. "I already told Tris about it Eric. I am not worried about her and I. Four will come around eventually. It will be rough for a while but he will get over it. As long as you can't get in trouble...then…"

His eyes flash with pleasure and relief before he pulls me closer and leans to whisper to me. "I won't hide us Elle. But you know how I am in training and when doing my leader duties. At Academy I will be harder on you but no more than have always been. It will never be personal though. Just remember that."

I nod and swallow. His arm slips to go all the way over my shoulders, not even trying to hide it anymore. I see Logan and Emma first smiling at each other and us.

"My turn!" Emma calls out happily. She doesn't look to me though but right at Eric.

"Eric. Candor or.."

"You know better Emma. Dauntless." He interrupts her in that tone he uses that is bordering on dick and boredom.

She smirks and Logan and her whisper before she looks back to him. "Same thing that Elle challenged me to. The person on your right." Which was of course me.

"Umm, how about hell no…" Four growls before Tris elbows him and interrupts.

"Rules are rules. The challenge has been made." She smirks at me and winks.

I turn red even though I knew it was coming.

Eric shrugs and pulls me onto his lap. "Look at me Elle." He commanded me and I turn my head to look at him. He reached up to cup my cheek and stroked his thumb across it. In a low voice and with a furrowed forehead. "I can back out if you want."

I shake my head and in answer start to lean forward. He meets me in the middle and when our lips connect, no one else is there for me. My arms go around his neck as our tongues slide together.

I taste the alcohol and the addicting taste that is just Eric. His hands go to my waist and back as our mouths move over each other. I can't help the little moans and sighs that escape me as he sucks my bottom lip gently into his mouth or when he nips at it with a smirk. My hands go to his hair and all I want is more.

We do manage to pull away and most likely well after time was called if the snickers and giggles are any indication. When we do our foreheads are pressed together and we are breathing hard.

"Well, can't say we didn't see that coming." Zeke mutters a bit amused and slightly horrified.

"Bout damn time." Logan snickers but something hits him judging by his 'umpf' he gives after that.

I don't even want to pull away to look at Four at the moment. I just concentrate on Eric. When our breathing finally normalizes he takes a deep breath and kisses my forehead. "We take our time on this Elle. Or at least...I am really going to try here." His voice is husky and strained.

I nod and give a little laugh. "I can't promise the same." I admit truthfully. Now that I know I am capable of feeling those things, how can I not want to explore it?

He groans and nods. "Yeah Four is going to be out for blood soon. Speaking of…."

At that we both pull away and look around. Most everyone had gone about their own conversations for the moment until it was safe to resume the game. Tris and Four were gone.

I looked to Logan and Emma who were still holding each other. "Tris drug him away. He'll be fine. She grabbed a bottle before she left so I don't think they will be back for the rest of the night."

Will and Chris are whispering and looking to me. Will looks red faced but Chris looks almost as if she is trying to work up the nerve for something. I sigh and groan. "Another reason I didn't want to say anything about that experiment and project." I mutter causing Eric to laugh quietly.

"So you are seeing the looks of most of the girls around here too? By the way." He speaks right by my ear "There will come a time when we will be testing that out." His voice is a growling promise and it cannot help the shiver and moan that comes from me.

I feel his smirk in my ear before Logan looks to Eric. "You're up Eric."

Eric shrugs "Pass. I got my fill for the night. Elle, would you like to go warm up in the lodge?" Double edged meaning right there.

"Yes please." Was my voice all breathy again?

"Good answer. I pass my turn on to Uri." He lifts me up to stand but then hops out first and moves to the chair right beside me, grabs my towel and then holds out his hand to help me out.

I step out a bit red with from attention. Funny I wasn't this red after the kiss, but him being all like a gentleman is making me blush like a damn schoolgirl. When I am out he wraps me in my towel before he grabs his own and our stuff. I try not to pay attention to the eyes that have been watching us as he takes my hand with his free one and leads us to the lodge.

We do pass some of the senior members still around the bonfire. Max and Elise are two of them. I almost expect Eric to drop my hand as we pass by them. Max just smirks at us, giving Eric a nod which Eric returns and we keep walking.

I frown and look over at him. Internally sighing at his well defined chest and...no you will not get distracted. What was that look about Elle? "What the hell was that?" I ask quietly.

Eric shrugs and looks at me. "I told you I decided a long time ago. It was kind of hard to hide from the man I think of as a father and his wife who watches me like a hawk."

I chew my lip and feel little flips in my stomach as we walk. I feel like a million questions keep popping into my head but then get driven away just by the overwhelming feelings in my body he causes. If only I could fucking go outside of my feelings when we are alone. I could ignore all of that and just focus on those questions.

He squeezes my hand as he pauses outside of my room. "I am going to get cleaned up and we can go down to the living room or we can go out onto the balconies outside. There is an outdoor fireplace near my room."

I already know I don't want to be on display in the main living room. "The balcony sounds good."

He smiles and nods. "My room is at the other side of the lodge but if you meet me downstairs in ten minutes."

I smile and nod before he leans in to kiss me softly. I am not even sure who deepened it, but I think me judging by his growl when I almost jerked him closer to me. We broke apart panting and he was counting under his breath. Curious I blurted something out "Does that work for you, because it has never for me where you are concerned."

His face breaks out into a smirk as he shakes his head "Not really, but fuck if I don't have to try something Elle." He takes a deep breath. "Ten minutes." His tone is commanding but not in the normal dick Eric way.

I nod before he hands me my shorts and turns to go as if he is afraid if I open the door while he is there he won't leave. Can't say I blame him because I was plotting just opening it and dragging him in.

With a sigh I open my door and can't help the smile that also breaks out on my face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I pull out my pajama sleepwear which is really just a matching tank/pant set with a soft t-shirt type material pants and then I add my favorite thick socks. I do end up cleaning up quickly, putting my hair down and combing it out and washing my face while brushing my teeth. Once I am dressed I grab a hoodie to wear if I need it and head down to the living room.

He isn't there yet but I did get ready really fast. I move over to the kitchen and look over all of the goodies around but also start to clean up while I am waiting. I am wrapping up leftover foods and putting it away when he makes it in. "You were fast." He says with a smile but also looking me over in my pajamas. The way he is looking at me as if I am all dressed up makes me blush.

I smile back at him as I take him in. He is wearing something similar and went with his own flannel pajama bottoms in black and grey and a dark grey shirt. He still looks mouthwatering. "Yeah it doesn't take me long to get ready in general. Efficiency and all that. Besides I started to practice getting ready in the shortest amount of time because of that whole thing I proposed to Tris and she decided to bring it up to leadership."

Eric smirks and tilts his head. "I knew Tris proposed it but I didn't know it came from you. Shouldn't be surprised though."

I shrug and blush a bit more. "Did you want to take anything with us for when we are out there? I wouldn't mind a irish coffee or something like that. And there is all kinds of food here…."

He comes closer and pulls me to him, cupping my cheek as he holds my eyes with his. He smiles when I have a shiver run down my back at his touch again. "That sounds good. I got the fire going and there is this big outdoor couch and ottoman out there. It should be comfortable enough, but we might want to grab a blanket from that cabinet near the laundry room. I just want to make sure you are going to be comfortable being away from everyone and alone with me Elle."

I frown before I lift up and kiss him softly then pull back. "Eric, I may be uncomfortable but only because of the attraction. That has only ever been the reason why I started to avoid you. I still remember those days shortly after I came to Dauntless and you were there when Logan couldn't be. I barely knew you then and I felt comfortable, well relatively." I blush at the end there.

He sighed in relief and nodded. "You have no idea how much I looked forward to those days. So much that I had to stop doing them Elle."

I nod because I understand. If he had been fighting the attraction as much as me then I understood. It was more dangerous for him then it ever would have been for me. "I understand Eric. Really I do."

"Let's get everything together and get up there before we get invaded whether we want to or not." He smirks before he kisses me gently again then we move to get things together.

He finds a big thermos in a cabinet and I find a basket to start loading things we were both eyeing or pointed out. Once the coffee was brewed he grabs the liquor to spike the coffee after getting it in the thermos and then we grab the blanket. He grabbed my hand and pulled me quickly with him when we heard voices outside of the door coming back into the lodge. We don't run exactly but we are walking really fast and laughing a bit when we get to his room. I don't even let nerves affect me as he opens the door and pulls me inside.

When the door clicks and he lets go of my hand to lock it I feel a bit of flutters. They don't last long because he quickly takes my hand and leads me right out to the balcony area. "Wow, this is pretty amazing. Who ever thought of this idea with the outdoor fireplace, that view of the valley and lake, plus they put in tech...they need an award." I am smiling at it all.

He laughs a little and pulls me over to the couch area. Once again, like with Logan, it is hard to remember how young they both are. They don't change radically but when they relax or smile it just lightens them.

I can understand why senior members decide to step down after a certain amount of time if they are in leadership positions. The mental strain to always have that wall and mask up must be tremendous. It makes me respect them even more because they are sacrificing so much more than you would think.

"You look like you're thinking deep thoughts Elle." Eric frowns as he pulls me to his side and tosses the blanket over us after I had pulled out the thermos, mugs and laid out the other items on the ottoman for us.

"I guess I was." I blushed as I looked at him. "I was thinking that I love your smile and laugh. It just reminded me that, like with Logan, you guys get to do that so rarely really. It's something I observed about all of the leaders or senior members that are still holding high level positions. No one thinks about that sacrifice you make when you take those positions. You aren't just expected to give of your time and body but your emotions and mentality. Having to keep up those shields so that those around you can enjoy themselves but don't get why you can't or won't. Then they hold it against you." I frown at that line of thought.

Eric locks eyes with me and I can see pleasure and relief before he kisses my temple and pulls back with a sigh. "Yeah it sucks but we can hope we get lucky and find someone that can understand that and see beyond it. Max is lucky he has Elise. Before she became leader even she understood and they balanced each other. You are right not many people get why we have to be the way we are. Not many people get why I have to be the way I am Elle."

I lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arm around his waist. "I watched your actions Eric. Those were what I pulled my opinions from. Not what anyone else was trying to say, or even what your own words said sometimes. Although, I will admit I wasn't ever really sure if you even liked me. Especially the last few months."

His body tensed slightly and he sighed. "Yeah I was being a jealous dick. I hated seeing you with him but then knowing that you weren't even happy just made it worse. I at first said that I could deal with being friends but that didn't work out very well for me." He muttered a little angrily.

"You said you knew a while ago Eric….when did you know?" I asked quietly wondering when it started for him.

"Honestly Elle...probably the day I met you. There was just something that made me need to know more about you. How could this little stiff be so fierce and watching you take off and dropping that woman. I was in awe and then also pissed off because I was scared for someone. It scared the shit out of me how you just fucking charged in. Yeah you were capable but I had never felt like that about someone before. Then I was worried about how you were going to handle it all. The way you handled that even drew me in. So yeah, that day was when it started for me." As soon as he started to say that it was from the first day I had looked up and into his eyes.

The intensity of them as he was talking floored me because I was seeing the real feelings of Eric. Not completely open because he was still reserved and this..whatever this was going to be between us... is new. We had been friends of a sort before and at least on my part I had been dancing around my feelings. Getting to know this side of each other was going to take some time.

"I think it started for me then too." I take a breath and look at him. "I know you have seen me when I distance myself from things but did Logan ever tell you what really happens to me with that?"

He frowns and nods. "Yeah he told me a little bit about it. It's like the Erudite thing but more intense."

I chew my lip and think how to describe it. "The best I can explain it as is numbness. The emotions just aren't there to feel. I can pretty much go to that place anytime and anywhere and with almost everyone. Except those that to my core I trust. There are exactly five people I can't do that with. Three of them it would be a real struggle to do it if we were alone and one I just can't do it at all. No matter how I tried to Eric, pretty much from the beginning if we were alone or you were to near there was no way I could go to that place. I trusted you from the first day but I also felt other things as well. I just didn't know what those things were until, well until Tyler. I only knew that we lacked what I felt what a simple touch from you made me feel."

It was amazing to watch the range of emotion that passes over Eric's face when most of the day it is almost like he is set on permanent anger or boredom. During the time I was talking though I could see him being a bit awed, smug and last the flash of desire. With that he pulled me onto his lap and cupped my cheek, just looking at me for a moment before he kissed me again. Gentle at first and then with more hunger that we were both feeling. His hands both went to the sides of my face as if to make sure I didn't try and break away.

When he broke this kiss it was only to trail kiss down my jaw and neck, but we were both panting and I was straining for more of something.

"Eric" I moan when he begins to almost bite lightly in some areas, my fingers digging into his back as my arms are around his waist.

With a growl he pulls away and both of our eyes are heavy lidded with desire. He pulls me for another kiss but doesn't deepen this one even though I feel desperate to. When we break away again, chests heaving with our need for air, but feeling like we can't get enough. He pulls me back to rest against his chest. He nuzzles along my temple and breathes me in while we steady our hearts and breathing together.

"Elle, I won't lie I want you so bad right now. But I can't let us go there yet. I know you said you aren't upset about the loss of him but you just ended it today. I don't want you to have any regrets about this and I also want to do this right with you." His voice was strained still but he spoke quietly as he pressed his lips to my forehead.

I blow out a slightly frustrated breath and nod. He chuckles and shakes his head. "I guess I can understand that. I think. I can't promise I won't try and jump you Eric. I can't seem to control the things you make me feel."

"Gods you're going to be trouble. Not that I would complain. But I would like to at least try and have some kind of self control around you. You are just making it very very hard Elle." He tightened his arms around me and sighed into my hair.

I can't help the smirk that comes over my face. I affect him just as much as he does me. Gods how that makes me just burn even more because I want to make him lose that control now. I guess he can tell what my thoughts are because he starts muttering about 'gods help him'. I take pity on him though and don't try and press it. For now.

With a smile I however reach for our mugs, fill them and then lean back into him. We sip on the irish coffees and he turns on the vid screen and fiddles with until we find a movie we can both agree with and relax into each other.

The alcohol, fire and just being near Eric ends up relaxing me to the point where I know I am going to pass out soon. I have been up from ridiculously early and today was a bit of a roller coaster.

"Do you want to stay here Elle?" His own voice is relaxed and sleepy but also a bit hopeful.

"Do you want me to? I don't want to strain things." I ask with a small frown and eyes closed, head buried in his chest.

"I don't want to let you go that is for sure. I want you to stay." He shrugs as he says it.

I nod with a small smile. "I would like that Eric."

He hums a bit causing his chest to rumble as he tightens his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. "Ok baby, let's go to bed then."

Butterflies stuck in a hurricane. That is the best way I can describe what he has been making me feel since he showed up at lunch. It isn't unpleasant exactly but at times that fucking ache sure is. I push it down and ignore it though because he is right about something. I did just end things today, and this morning I woke up in Tyler's bed. Waiting might be torture but I can wait, for a little while anyways.

We get up but because I can't stand messes I start to straighten everything up as he helps. After that is done he makes his way over to the bed and starts to pull the covers down. I would and should be nervous but I am fading already so I pretty much just shrug out of my hoodie and crawl into the side of bed he doesn't seem like he is going to go for.

The bed is amazing and fluffy and I sigh with pleasure before my head and body are even settled. I automatically go for the side I always sleep on, which is faced away from him at the moment. I feel him slide into bed beside me and his own sigh of pleasure at a comfortable bed makes me smile.

His arms going to circle me and pull me against him makes the smile deepen even more. A different kind of warmth surrounds me now. The desire is there because that never really went away and has only gotten stronger and now that I can explore that I think it will only get worse. There is something else that is getting stronger but I am not sure what it is exactly. I know I have always cared for Eric but I am not sure what else I am feeling beside that.

Being in his arms though like this as we drift to sleep I think I might know it is the beginning of something deeper.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks so much for the great reviews and interest in this story. I believe this will be the last retreat weekend chapter. So next one should see the group heading to academy to get their training months on. Hope you all enjoy.**

 **Chapter 9**

Eric is a serious snuggler. I find this out when my own internal alarm goes off at dawn and I am locked in his arms. We were still in the spooning position but when I woke up I went to shift and turn. He didn't even wake up, he just growled and jerked back to him then threw a leg over mine to really lock me in.

I at least had gotten my way and was able to face him. I allow myself to lay there and just look at him without him being aware I am gawking at him for once. It is amazing how the small changes from his normal everyday put together appearance and the relaxed and rumpled appearance affect me. He is always extremely attractive to me but I think I prefer this side of him. Maybe because so few people get to see it.

With bleary eyes I take in his bare chest. I get to really and finally see the tattoo he had me design for him when I first got here. We had been at Logan's sitting on the couch together watching martial arts movies while he did some work on his tablet. Logan was on a date and I had been working on sketches of the dragon I preferred which I was drawing inspiration from the movies we were watching.

I had drawn mine that will go along my hip and thigh and as I was practically reclined against his side he could see everything I was doing. He had said he loved the style of the dragon and asked to see some of my other sketches. In the end he had wanted the dragon mixed with some japanese style tribal art, a few kanji symbols and it to be done like the shoulder pieces I had already drawn up that look like knights armor. The head of the dragon is right over his heart and is looking straight out in a fierce growl or snarl.

I had only seen the part that went down into the upper arm until now. He had offered that I could go with him when he got it done but that had been just too much for me to try and handle at that point. My fingers trace the pattern lightly causing him to stir and groan slightly.

I start to smile until he shifts his legs and then I left gulping and a little short of breath. I freeze almost because I am torn in thoughts. My first thought. He is big. For sure bigger than Tyler by a wide margin and in a scary kind of way. It also makes heat seem to flood my core and then I want to see if I could handle it or not. That last thought causes me to moan and rub my thighs together.

My forehead furrows together and I am deep in concentration so I don't feel that he has finally woken up. "Elle, baby you are killing me right now." His voice is still thick with sleep and deep with lust.

It doesn't make matters better for me. My voice is strained and breathy. "I just...I woke up and felt you….then I started to feel…" I almost whine at the end there.

He doesn't say anything or let me finish but pulls me to him and starts to trail kisses along my jaw, neck and finally claims my mouth. It is hungry as are his hands that start to move along my thighs and up to my my sides. His hand as it skims along lifts the tank slightly and mine do exploring of their own as I move my hand lower down his side.

When his hand moves under the tank to cup me over my bra I had left own I gasp into his mouth and try to press into him closer. He growls into my mouth and brushes his thumb over my tender bud. It should not be possible for a person's heart to beat that hard and it remain in their chest, but by some miracle mine does.

I can tell his is working to try and pull himself away and restore control of his body because I feel it in the shifting of his muscles beneath my hand. It makes me feel so fucking powerful that this machine of a man, the man that controls himself every moment of the day, is losing control because of my touch. I have to say his will power is a lot more fucking impressive than mine because he does pull away and I let out a complete growl of frustration.

"Jesus Elle…" He breathes hovered over my mouth, panting and shaking his head. "You are fucking stubborn as shit."

I pout at him as I try and get my own breathing and body under control. He shakes his head and chuckles at my scowl. I sigh when I am sort of under control. "I told you I couldn't promise anything. Blame yourself Eric. You should be so irresistible."

Que cocky come back in ….he smirks at me and quirks an eyebrow. "I am pretty damn irresistible. But so are you Elle."

I grin at being right about his comeback and blush at his compliment. Then I pout and grumble. "Seems like you did just fine in resisting me."

He growls playfully and starts to tickle me. I break out into laughter and groan because I need coffee for this kind of thing. He stops after laughing himself after I called for mercy and coffee.

"Coffee sounds wonderful right now." He agreed as he kissed my forehead.

I nods wholeheartedly. "In fact I am going to go to the kitchen and get started on that."

He frowns and pulls me tighter but then sighs. "If you must. I guess no one is going to be bringing us any and I am sure no one is up besides us right now."

I nods "They usually aren't. I am pretty much always up well before even Tris and Four."

He smirks and winks. "I know, how do you think I knew where you got your coffee Elle. You were always either just leaving there or there when I would go get mine."

I chuckled "I had wondered how you knew."

After another kiss that we both did well in pulling back from he let me get up. I went to his attached bathroom and tried not to be jealous he has a huge tub as I washed my face and used his toothbrush that he insisted I use.

"I will be down in a bit Elle." He said after kissing me then going into the bathroom for himself.

I smirked when I realized why he was going to be having to take longer. I was almost humming to myself as I grabbed everything from last night and took it with me. It only took me a moment to get the huge coffee maker started and then put everything away we had from last night and clean up. Someone had finished cleaning what I didn't get to, which was good.

I sat appraising what there was to make that would feed a group of possibly hungover Dauntless mongrels. I decided to make the normal staples of eggs, bacon and sausage but I also started on making batter for pancakes and added french toast to that as well.

The bacon and sausage were easy because I popped those in the oven. I was glad for the large built in griddle that the stovetop had as I started to cook up the pancakes.

Eric did make it down after a little while. He had pulled me to him just as I had finished mixing the pancake batter and kissed me gently before pulling back. "Good morning by the way." He smirked at me a bit.

I laughed and quirked an eyebrow. "Good morning. I thought I would get started on breakfast to feed the hungover mongrels. I know not everyone will wake up right away but I know at least Logan and Tris will wake up despite whatever they ended up doing."

I winked at him and he laughed with a nod. "Yeah, the smells might wake everyone up. What do you need help with Elle? And don't say you don't need help." He stopped me before I could object.

I had found out when I was cooking for the leaders that Eric could cook himself when he had apparently gotten upset I was doing it all by myself and showed up at the apartment to help me. I had tried to politely refuse but he had just gotten pissed and refused to leave.

I smiled and shrugged. "I was going to do pancakes, french toast, eggs, bacon and sausage. The last two are in the oven, just easier that way. I can handle the pancakes if you want to do the eggs. Do you think we should do hashbrowns? A starch is usually pretty good with hangovers."

Eric smirks shaking his head and then shrugs. "Sure I can do the hashbrowns and eggs. I could be evil and make the eggs all fried or over easy eggs. That would sure help some people...right to the porcelain throne." He got a bit of his wicked look and I laughed outright at that.

I stood on tiptoes and kissed before I went back to the batter and started to pour out the pancakes. "Yeah that would be interesting, but it has the horrid potential to backfire and put me off my appetite. We can save that prank for when we don't have to be there for there fireworks."

He gave his own bark of laughter and nodded. He made sure to pour us our own big mugs of coffee before he started on his half of the breakfast. I realized we were both still in our pajamas when Logan came in with a very sleepy but satisfied looking Emma.

Logan was looking pretty much like the cat that ate the canary but also smug about us at the same time. I narrowed my eyes at him and shook my head to tell him not to say a word.

"Morning" His voice was hoarse but relaxed.

"Morning Sweetie, Morning Eric." Emma said with a yawn and shuffled to the coffee pot, rubbing her eyes.

"Morning guys." I said laughing.

"Morning Sis, Logan. How did you two sleep?" Eric asked in an innocent voice but with a slight smirk on his lips.

Emma flushed. "Just fine little brother." Her voice got a little testy as if to say don't push me.

I couldn't help but laugh at Eric's ears turning slightly red at that. He looked over at me and quirked an eyebrow. "Keep that up Elle, and I will find a way to get back at you." He leaned in closer to me to whisper to me. "Remember I am not the one with no willpower in this situation."

My breath catches and I feel a shiver run down my spine and defiance run through me. "Maybe Eric, but remember I am hell of stubborn and you are challenging me. We both remember how I am about being challenged. I have a problem with being able to back down." I reply looking him dead in the eyes with my own small wicked smirk.

He groan and scowled as he straightened back up. "You are so fucking going to kill me Elle."

I shrug and start flipping the pancakes. "Then don't challenge me if you can't handle it Eric."

Logan and Emma caught that last part and started snickering. I guess he sensed Eric was about to do just that because Logan cleared his throat. "So what did you want to do today Elle?"

I looked to him a bit gratefully as Eric turned his calculating eyes on me before his interruption. I could tell he wasn't done with the subject and it caused me to blush red. I cleared my throat. "We could do more zip-lining or a hike. I really did mean that Caleb gave me an idea about the whole football recreation. I wouldn't mind seeing about getting a game together."

Eric and Logan shared a look of thought before Eric shrugged. "We would need to see if they storage shed has anything that could be used as a ball. But sounds good to me."

Emma tilted her head "You could ask the Amity ambassador. They do try and have some recreational activities on hand. They might have something there at the office."

Logan nods and smiles at her before he kisses her forehead softly. "They should be open and I was going to grab some more fruit for this morning anyways. Jasmine and Alhora made me promise to get them some anyways."

I nod in thought "Yeah that sounds good. They will like that to go with their breakfast. He if they have it you could pick up some of the fruits that I can make into that fresh apple cake you like or even a cobbler of some kind. And maybe some maple syrup if they have it."

Logan grins "Like I am going to say no to your desserts. Well I am going to run and get dressed and run down there really quick."

With a final kiss and nod Logan went to get dressed and get everything. After that it went to comfortable silence but I was chewing on a thought as I finished the pancakes and worked on the french toast, making sure it was bread that we brought and not the challah loaves that would have been perfect for the french toast but it was left by the ambassador so I wasn't touching that.

Emma helped where she could in taking out the first batches of the meats. And was eyeing me. "I know that look Elle. It was the same look you had before you came up with the battle simulation project. What are you cooking up now."

I shook my head. "It isn't a complete thought and I am not cooking anything besides breakfast. I am wondering about possibly adding elements to the simulation thought. Right now we have it set for computer generated battle simulations."

Eric quirks an eyebrow and looks over to me. "Yeah but you have the capability to change it up however much we want to."

I nod and bite my lip. "True. When we made it though I was going into it with the strong resolution to keep it serum free. I was almost rabid about that point."

Emma's eyes soften and she smiles sadly at me. "Which was understandable Elle."

I frown "I think I made a mistake. The battle simulation needs that element of ultimate realism. We can train in it until we're blue in the face but when real battle happens…." I trail off and Eric sighs but I can tell it is a sign of agreement and pain.

He looks over at me and puts a lid on the big buffet tray with the eggs in it. We had found the buffet style trays with places for the warmers and it was perfect to serve everything out of. The hashbrowns were still cooking so he lowered the flame on that and came over to me and wrapped his arms around me. His chest was at my back since I was still cooking.

Of course Four and Tris would choose that moment to shuffle their way into the kitchen. I heard Four growling instantly and Eric tensed but didn't let go of me.

Tris gripped his arm and leaned up to say something to him in a whisper. It stopped Four from saying anything although he was still glaring.

"Good morning Elle, Eric, Emma…." Tris said with a smile to us.

"Morning sis. I made some tea for you guys and Four there is coffee already made up." I say quietly but with a small smile.

"Thanks...morning." Four grumbles and goes to get a cup of coffee while Tris pours her tea and takes a seat on a stool.

Eric squeezes me a bit. "So what were you thinking of Elle. I get were you are coming from. Real combat is different from the simulations and we can't really judge how someone will react when the real thing happens. Is that the basic line of thought you were having?"

I nod and swallow. "Yeah basically. The biggest worries would be a couple of things. How we react when it is for real and then how we deal with it after." I said that quietly and Eric kissed my forehead before moving to the side.

"We know how you would handle it Elle. I saw that first hand and even I was amazed at how you handled it. I don't think I did when I first had an encounter with a group of factionless." He mused and went back to the hash browns.

Tris and Four were looking at me concerned but not about Eric at the moment. I hadn't really talked to them in details about how I felt after that. Oddly enough that had been Logan and Eric. "Are you having issues or thoughts about it Elle?" Four asked frowning deeply.

I shake my head "No. Having all you helped me but also I guess I was pretty prepared beforehand. Zeke had told me some of his own encounters. When I first started to work with him he was concerned I was going to romanticize combat or something I guess. You weren't there Four because he knew you wouldn't approve but he showed me a few encounters that got messy." I looked to him and saw him working up an anger, but so was Eric. I sighed and put my hand on Eric's arm and looked to Four. "He was right to do it Four. You don't remember what I had to engage in? It wasn't just me fighting with a gun guys. The only weapon I had before we got the gun was a kitchen knife and my hands. How bad would it have been if I hadn't known what to expect? Would I have frozen the first time I had to…" the image of dragging a blade across a throat came up. I refused to be horrified because they had been about to shoot a six year old dead. I shook my head. "See that is what I am talking about. Even now there is that slight revulsion at that act. Even though I know it had been absolutely necessary to save that little boy's life. At the time though if I hadn't been even a little prepared what would have happened? Those are the questions we can't afford to leave unanswered."

I see the three Dauntless nodding in thought. I get lost in my own thought too as I continue with the french toast. Emma breaks the silence "I will go get my tablet Elle and you can jot down your equations and notes that I know you are already compiling. Unless Caleb has yours ready yet. Even then you can just transfer the file. Are you thinking of a whole new serum or using existing?"

I bite my lip and frown. "I really didn't want to involve them at all but I think it is the right thing to do. The base model for the sensory link for the shared physiology serum would work to start out. That would give us the ability to activate the physical responses. The fear serums have that as well but that is more the mental and that would need to be added. The real key will be that we would need to draw from real memories Emma. So that memory serum that was working on….I think we are going to have to see about tackling that."

"What memory serum?" Eric asks and I can tell he is going all business mode just not his cold self. I realize I have taken on a serious tone myself so that is fine.

"She had at first started working on a serum that could help in memory retrieval. We only shelved it because we wanted to be able to dedicate the time to the simulator first. That had priority. Basically the premise is that a person could be given the serum and linked into a terminal. Then the persona and controller would work to retrieve memories of specific events. The most recent ones would be more likely to be easily retrieved but we wanted to go beyond that and access older ones. She had even wanted to move it towards being able to use the serum on deceased victims to lend evidence during investigations. There were several other things associated with that she wanted to do but I see where you are going with this." She is tapping her fingers on the counter and is deep in thought. "Let me go get my tablet and we can get down the basic notes Elle. But it is supposed to be you resting. I am serious you spend two weeks working constantly and then going between the lab and trying to take care of the leaders. Logan told me about that last night. You told me you were going to sleep."

I avoid looking at her because I don't feel bad about it at all. "I lived and shit got done. We all make sacrifices Emma." I look at Eric meaningfully because I could tell he was getting upset.

He frowned and sighed but nodded. "She is right though. Just get the basic shit down and you guys can work on it during the tech development class and workshops that will be run." He used his leader commanding tone but winked at me.

I nodded and smiled. "I can live with that. As long as I can get the flurry of thoughts down to pull from later we should be good."

"I still can't wait to see this simulator in action." Four mumbled, slightly less angry but still tense.

That was a start I hoped. I hoped he wouldn't hate me when I told him that Eric and I were going to be together. He stopped talking to Tris for a month and all she wanted to do was become a leader. I dreaded what he would do for me wanting to be with the leader he hated so much.

I try not to let those thoughts drag me down as we finish breakfast and Logan comes back. Soon others are joining us and we sit down to eat. It was a bit upsetting that Tris had to take Four somewhere else to eat because Eric and I had no plans to not sit together and close if we wanted to.

Eric to comforted me when he saw it upset me but I shrugged and said he would need to get over it. I just hoped he would soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Included in this chapter was a personal challenge to myself. To include a chapter about a pick up football game in the world of divergent. Challenge accepted! And what better day to do said chapter than on a day that was filled with coffee, football, baking and general loudness as I muttered and yelled at the screen in our home. So in tribute to ridiculous calls and plays...I give you another weekend retreat chapter but also some really touching moments with Eric and Elle.**

 **Disclaimer: This is all V Roth's thunder dome...I'm just tossing in stick figures for the big dogs to play with.**

 **Chapter 10**

The rest of that morning passed almost too quickly. I baked a few cakes and other items after breakfast. Logan had ended up finding a football so we got together a couple of teams, but had to explain the rules first, and the plan was to play until lunch.

Logan looked around the kitchen where everyone playing was gathered. "Alright we're going to have team captains. But the captains don't pick their own players. The other one picks for them. Eric and I are those captains. Does everyone understand the rules? And remember, you can tackle but let's keep this civil and fun. If you can't you don't play."

His eyes went to Four and Eric who were glaring at each other. Although Four's glare was more directed at Erics arm that was around my shoulders, draped lightly but still holding me to his side.

"We got it Logan." Zeke said looking over at Four with a frown but then he smiled and looked back to Logan. "So let's get to picking teams. I'm ready to play!"

We all laughed and then Logan and Eric started looking around the room evaluating. I smirked though because I already knew what Logan was going to do and he had first pick.

"Alright I won the toss. I get first pick. So for the first pick for Eric's team. Four." He was trying to suppress his smirk but was failing and the both guys were glaring at him.

Eric's jaw clenched. "Fine. Will you go with Logan."

"Scott." Logan picks the second player.

"Uri" Eric calls out and from the they shoot off names rapid fire.

I am surprised though when I do end up getting put on Eric's team. I think he would have killed Logan if he hadn't though. When I got called for the team Eric almost had a wide ass grin on his face and pulled me closer to him.

In the end our team was Eric, Four, Me, Zeke, Scott, Hector and Lynn. For Logan's team he had himself, Uri, Will, Candice, Jake, Seth and Emmett. Size wise it was a pretty good distribution. I was the smallest and I could see Jake, Emmett and even Scott smirking at that thought.

They didn't know that just because they might be bigger doesn't mean they are better or faster. I have been watching old football matches for ages. I am big sports fan.

We get time to talk plans and plays off to the side. And Eric looks at me seriously. "Alright let's work this shit out. I am thinking that Four you will be a running back. Elle, you too, you guys are going to be the fastest two. Lynn, you can be the tight end. Zeke, you got center. Scott and Hector will be my linebackers but Zeke you and I will need to pull double duty. We protect our running backs. Nothing touches them. You got Four and I got Elle. Four how do you feel about doing the long passes?"

I am already smirking because I like this plan. Four looks to me and cracks a smile to me for the first time today and my face lights up. I can see guilt flash in his eyes before I shake my head and just keep smiling. He sighs and looks to Eric. "Yeah. I could work with those."

Eric nods and looks to me, his smile softened to see me so happy about the game but Four as well. I can see a bit more tension towards Four, for the moment anyways, lessen. "Elle, I will be putting some down the field for you too but I am thinking of doing some fake hand offs with you. You're fast so I think we can pull those off."

I smirk and nod. "I'm ready when you guys are." I start rolling my shoulders a little and Lynn throws her arm around my shoulders as we make our way back to the center of the big clearing we found to play at.

Logan was smart and had some fast runners set to be all over me. He didn't expect Eric to go with Four as the other running back but he sure as shit pegged me. I couldn't do the real passes but I got in some fake handoffs that Eric set to pass to Four as he was going to run the ball or like he was going to pass to him but then I had it.

Eric took his job seriously and it was a sucky day for Will and Emmett when they went after me. Not that Four wasn't any better to be honest because he took it upon himself to help out there too. I still got hit a few times but it wasn't too bad. I had to restrain Eric once when he thought it had been 'unnecessary roughness' until I pointed out it was tackle football we went with not flag football for a fucking reason.

He had just smirked and commanded me not get tackled again. He was only half serious.

It was fun because for 'half time' everyone that wanted to watch but not play had found places to set up food, beer and other beverages so we all just plopped around in different spots eating or taunting each other about plays we had made.

Four and Eric even seemed to get along during the game but it might because they were on the same team. There was still tension especially when Eric hugged me or held me during timeouts. Really anytime he put his hands on me, which was a lot, there was tension. It started to lessen as the day progressed though and I guess when they both started working together to keep me from charging down field and being tackled it got a bit better.

I told Tris later that if all it had taken was for them to act like a couple of fucking rams and headbutt while trying to protect a girl with a ball for them to get along then maybe that should have been done a hell of a lot sooner. We laughed but Eric and Four didn't find it amusing. Eric just quirked his eye at me giving me a look like he was promising me pain later.

In the end our team won. Not by much but it still felt fucking amazing to win.

We did zip-lining again after lunch but then groups started breaking off, mainly couples, to go do things. By some agreement Eric and Logan had decided that Logan, Emma, Eric and I were going to go hiking on our own. So we packed up and headed out for our hike.

We also ended up doing some rock wall climbing but didn't go far or do much because Emma couldn't do all of the ones we would have done otherwise. Once we were at the top we stopped and had our own smaller lunches. The views were amazing from the new place we hiked too. I tried not to blush when Logan insisted we get group and couple pictures up there.

We almost didn't want to head back it had been so relaxing. Eric had held me against his chest as he we sat on a rock, with me between his legs. I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with chatter and we just took the time to enjoy the quiet, the view and each other.

The lodge was chaos compared to the mountaintop we had just been on when we got back. It wasn't bad just a bit jarring. I ended up going to go get a shower and changed for dinner. On the way I got waylaid by Chris, Shauna, Mar and Lynn.

They all wanted to see about getting that serum. Emma came to my rescue and promised to handle it for me. She also came with me to get ready in my room and to talk.

"How did you know Elle?" She asked quietly as she sat in my bed. I was pulling out things to wear and waiting for Zaria to get done with her own shower. Caleb had just dropped off my new tablet phone.

He had one delivered to us and had turned over the other one to keep it active and recording any messages or calls Tyler made to it.

That was Tris and Eric's decision to be able to give him room to hang himself. He had apparently threatened me via message at least one more time.

I looked at her and chewed my lip. "Logan is who I go to for pretty much anything that is really bothering me. I have pretty much been close to him from the day he and I met. I had talked to him about relationships and he told me about his one real relationship. He didn't mention your name but enough that between the looks and what he told me, I figured it out."

She sighed and nodded then gave a small sad smile. "I've tried for years to move on but I just never could."

I frown and go to sit beside her. "I'm sorry if I made things worse for you two the other night. I don't know what I was thinking…." I trail off unhappy I might have caused them pain.

She pulls me to her in a hug. "No you didn't make it worse. I have felt whole for the first time in years. I won't lie and say it won't be difficult but we will find a way to be together. We've both been miserable without each other and it is time to change that."

She spoke so firmly and happily that I smiled at her. "Emma, is Olson your mother's maiden name or something?"

She smiles proudly at me. "As a matter of fact it is. I changed it when Logan and had our choosing year. We knew Eric was….." She stopped and looked at me. "Has he told you Elle?"

I blush and nod. "I guess I should have known then that he felt something for me. When I went to Dauntless, I was staying days or evenings at Logan's because Four and Tris were going through something. He started to talk to me about things. That was one of them. I had asked for his side on why Four hated him so much. He was approached to act as a spy of sorts and act like he was all for the plans."

She nodded with a frown. "At first he refused. All he saw was the danger to me. Our parents were among the ones to suggest it so he wasn't worried about them. It was because he knew I would be staying in Erudite that he wouldn't contemplate it at all. So before he gave the final word we came up with the plan that I would distance myself from him publicly. He would do the same and then when I had my choosing I took my mother's last name. The hope was that I would be removed from their minds completely and he could concentrate on what he needed to do. It also gave me the chance to go where I needed to go as well to help where I could. I was a plant of sorts at the school. It was how I knew about you and was able to approach your mother. I already felt protective of you Elle. Your passion for learning but also just your passion reminded me of Eric so much." She squeezed me slightly. "I tried to protect you as much as possible but also to help you prepare too." I smiled at her softly.

"You did everything you could. You and Caleb even warned Mom and Dad and that helped so much Emma. Who knows what would have happened if you hadn't done that." I hear Zaria getting out of the bathroom and calling she is done.

Emma nods and rises. "I'll go get ready for dinner. I think tonight will be pretty low key. A lot of the couples are heading off to do their own Amity explorations and dinner plans." She blushed when she said it so I guessed that Logan and her and something planned.

"You two have fun then." I smirk at her and stand up to head to get ready. I take my tablet phone and put on music while I get ready, just taking to time to relax. I don't dress up but I do make sure to look nice.

I put on a long sleeved black top that had a embroidered damask lace design on the neckline. The neckline cut was a v neck so it was nice without being to stuffy or revealing. Pairing that with regular jeans and boots I left my hair down and makeup simple. When I was finishing up I heard a knock on my door.

"It's open." I called from the bathroom trying to get the eyeliner on. I always hated that part.

I knew it was him before he came all the way into the bathroom and luckily I was pretty much done.

"You look amazing Elle." He smiled as he leaned against the doorway.

I blushed and smiled. "Thanks." I looked over him and saw he was dressed similar but he looked still looked amazing. He had a simple black ribbed short sleeved light sweater on that still managed to cling in all the right places, dark black jeans and his normal boots too. "You look really good too Eric." I finally managed to say as I tore my eyes away from him, face flushed

He chuckled and pulled me over to him. "I am never going to get tired of the way you look at me." He whispered as he tilted my head up so he could look into my eyes.

"How do I look at you?" My blush got deeper because I had to have some crazy looks sometimes when I was fighting my body to just jump him.

His smile got a bit deeper and I melted a bit more against him. I loved that he showed me this side of him. "Like I am someone worth being with."

I couldn't help but press myself against him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Eric." I sigh his name and then lift up on my toes to kiss him. I don't know the words to say that he was always worth being with. That I feel lucky that he was willing to wait for me because I don't feel worth that wait.

His hands go around my back to grasp my shirt as the kiss turns passionate for the both of us. I don't know how long we stood there kissing until our hands started to roam each other. I couldn't help but give small moans and whimpers into the kiss as we explored each other a bit.

Our breathing was getting more ragged and I could feel the burning and need going deeper into me by the time he pulled back. He was almost gasping when we did break apart and clung to each other, his lips pressed to my forehead and both of our eyes closed.

When our breathing returned to normal he cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask you….we might be too busy after Academy starts….but did you want to have dinner with me tonight? I just, I want to have our first date when we aren't having to worry about schedules and all the other stresses we might have."

Neither of us had moved away from each other or the position we were in so I smiled and nodded slightly, with his lips still against my forehead. "I would love that Eric."

I felt his smile against my skin and he sighed almost in relief. "Good. I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could just have it on the balcony again. It seems every nook and cranny is filled with people with the same idea."

I laughed and nodded. "No last night was perfect."

He nodded his agreement with the smile still in place. "I really liked getting to hold you all night Elle." He admitted it so softly that I might have missed it if we hadn't been pressed close together.

"I really liked it to Eric. I even liked waking up with you." I blushed hard at the thought of me this morning.

He groaned a bit but chuckled. "Yeah me too. You don't have to but if you want.."

I smirked and moved my head to press against his neck and kissed him softly. "That's kind of why I mentioned it Eric."

I felt his heart pick up as I kissed more along his neck. His voice got husky when he chuckled low. "You are going to make it very hard for me to take this slow, aren't you?"

I was still smirking into his neck but didn't answer. He groaned and then pushed me back slightly and kissed me softly before pulling back. "I don't know if you want to take anything for if you do stay with me tonight. I want to go and get things set up but could you meet me at me room in fifteen minutes?"

"Fifteen minutes sounds good. I will meet you there. Did you need any help?" I ask with a blush.

He shakes his head and cups my cheek. "No I want to take care of it." With one more kiss and look he leaves so I can get some clothes together. While I am doing that I have a thought and I message my sister.

"Elle?" Tris comes into the bathroom a few minutes later as I am putting things in my bag.

"Hey…." I trail off and blush and she walks over to me with a knowing smile.

"Are you going to stay with him again?" She is trying not to laugh.

I nod and then frown. "Hey wait. How do you know I stayed with him last night?"

She shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Four. He came and knocked on your door and Zaria told him she had seen the bed was empty from your side of the bathroom door. Don't worry we are talking him through his issues."

I frown and nod. "He seemed better after the football game. I hope at least."

She nodded and smiled "He even said he felt guilty for taking it out on you. He is just worried. He is a stubborn ass sometimes and refuses to see things until he is almost hit upside the head with them."

I sigh and nod. "I think most of the problem is they are so much freaking alike. But yes, I am staying with him. He asked me to have dinner with him. As our first date because he didn't want to have to do that while we are all so busy."

She smiles that knowing smile but is genuinely pleased with his actions. "He is already scoring major sister approval points then. You deserve to be treated like that Elle. Someone that wants and will do nice things for you because you will be doing the same thing for him. Don't think I didn't notice that all he had to do was mention that he liked mexican food for you to make that one of the meals you brought for all of us during one of those meetings."

"Shut up Tris." I mutter blushing. She wasn't wrong. He had mentioned it during a conversation at a party and I had remembered it. So when I started making meals to take them I had just automatically thought of and made that.

"You should have seen his face and smile after he opened the box of food when you left. He just stood there looking into it for a few minutes before Max got his attention with a cough." She giggled a little as she followed me out of the bathroom and I gather the rest of the clothes, nightclothes and essentials I might need.

I sighed internally at the story and then looked at her seriously. "He said something earlier and it almost broke my heart but at the same time I felt something...something almost overwhelming and scary and wonderful." I say in an almost whisper.

She comes over with a worried look. "He didn't say that he…"

I shake my head to interrupt her but my stomach does flips at the thought of it. "No. But it was probably more important. I was looking over how good he looked and I didn't realize how long I was looking at him. He just chuckled and held me. Then he said he would never get tired of me how I looked at him. When I asked him how I looked at him….he said like someone worth being with."

Her face softens and she pulls me to her, knowing it was breaking my heart that he hadn't had that before or that he still had to be known as the asshole because it was what our faction needed. "You need that too Elle. Does he make you feel that way?"

I nod into her shoulder. "That and so much more."

She sighs relieved. "Good. Then I won't worry, because as long as you feel something Elle then I don't care if in the long run it doesn't work out, or if it does. I just don't want you to settle."

With that she kisses my forehead but walks me down the stairs and breaks off when I go to head to Eric's room.

I try to tell myself that I won't try and push too far tonight, but I can't lie to myself. He might be trying to take things slow for me but I don't know that I even want to do that much. The passion and affection I have and am feeling for Eric feels like a tidal wave pulling me under and I don't know that we should be trying to fight it. If the next few months will be so busy and stressful….why not take the time to enjoy each other and this while we can.

Carpe Diem….right?


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So here is the last weekend retreat chapter. Next one we will be for Academy. Things heat up for sure with Elle and Eric. Eric is OOC is this because things don't happen the way they did in the book. He is still a hardass and can be a dick, but we see sides of him with Elle that he would never show anyone else. They bring it out in each other. Anyways I hope you enjoy. As always thanks for all the views, reviews, follows, and favorites.**

 **Disclaimer: "Dreams are more real than reality itself, they're closer to the self" - Gao Xingjian : Unfortunately I am just leasing V Roth's dreamscape and injecting a bit of my self with my plot, fluff and OC's.**

 **Chapter 11**

Do I knock? Do I walk in? I realize I am just really bad at knowing what the protocol for dates are. Now that I think about it my only experience in dates wasn't exactly normal. It should have said something about that relationship how odd and bad it was. Shaking my head with an internal scowl at myself I square my shoulders and before I can second guess myself or actions, I knock.

"You didn't have to knock baby." Eric said as he opens the door for me, but he is smiling.

I blush and walk in after he takes my hand and pulls me in gently. "I sat there for a minute debating if I should knock or shouldn't. I realize I am really suck at knowing how the whole dates or dating thing goes."

He gave a bit of a chuckle and took my bag from me then put it on a chair before pulling me to him and kissed me gently. When he pulled back he sighed and held my eyes. "I don't exactly know either Elle. I don't think we need to go by what anyone else says it should be like though. We can do what works for us. Does that sound good to you?"

I grin and nod. "Yeah I can handle that. So we just make up the rules as we go?"

He shrugged with a smirk. "Something like that. Both of us tend be rule setters ourselves. We don't fit into the normal ones so new ones are made just because of us." He gets a shit eating grin. "Like say a former stiff that was so much better trained than even some members. Because of this leadership couldn't help but accept the proposal by her sister for forming the Academy after having used her as the example."

My mouth dropped open and I blushed. "She did not."

He shrugged. "Your right. _She_ didn't." He smirked at my look of comprehension.

"You used me as the example?" I tilted my head, still blushing.

He laughed and led me out to the balcony, holding my hand. He didn't answer right away but let me take in what he had done to the area we had been at last night.

The fireplace was lit but there were also lit candles along the mantle. In front of the couch, instead of the ottoman was a table set up with more candles, wine and dinner. There was a clear bowl/vase of flowers. My favorite kind of flowers; hydrangea and in my favorite colors of deep purple and lighter purples.

Dinner was also a favorite. Italian. I had found that I really loved italian food and all the different types of sauces, pastas desserts and then antipastas.

"Eric...this is.." I can't help the smile on my face but my breath is taken away by the thought and time he put into this. "This is amazing Eric."

Is it normal to feel like your stomach is so fluttery you are afraid you might throw up? That can't be normal or good. Not that it feels bad it feels amazing and a bit scary.

He looks like he might be blushing a bit but he gets a slow smile as he sees I mean that I love it. He also releases a relieved breath. "I'm glad you like it. I didn't know if it was too much or not."

He pulls me to sit beside him on the couch and pours us both a glass of wine. "No it's perfect. How did you know those are my favorite flowers?"

He hands me my glass and scratches the back of his neck, definitely blushing this time. "You mentioned it once." He took a breath. "When you and Tris were making the funeral arrangements you said that your mother shared that with you. You both loved hydrangeas in general but more specifically those colors."

I sipped my wine and couldn't help the sad smile. Then I frowned when a though struck me. "Eric." I looked over to him. "I thought it was Tris at the time, but did you…" I trailed off knowing he knew the rest of the question.

He was looking into his own wine glass and nodded. "Yeah. I had them plant them in the meadow by the cellar. It felt kind of fitting and a good tribute to two brave women from that day." He shrugged and I couldn't help myself.

I put my wine glass down, moved to my knees beside him then wrapped my arms around his neck before kissing him deeply. His free hand goes into my hair to the back of my head, to gently hold me in place.

I don't push for more than just this kiss because with it I am hopefully telling him how much that did mean to me. How deep it touched me and that it was from Eric, who was there that day but who had every reason to on that day have been cold or disdainful of me. Tris and Four had been anything but understanding of him. Four more than Tris before that day.

When we break away finally he strokes my cheek with his thumb. I can tell in his eyes he understands what I meant with my actions because I don't have the words.

I move to sit back down and with him pulling me closer I sit in the crook of his arm. For a while we just sip on the wine, eat here and there and talk. Not about anything deep but still things important to us in our day to day life or just important us in general.

"I should get this all cleared away." We are stretched out on the couch together, with me laying partially on his chest and between his legs. The temperature had dropped and the fire was warming us but it was still cold. So we had moved to this position and pulled the blanket over us after dinner. Now I look at the table we had moved aside slightly and all the plates thinking I should at least help clean up.

His chest rumbles with a growl and his arms tighten around me. "Nope not right now."

I sigh slightly with a smile. His hand starts to go back to running lightly up and down my spine and a shiver runs through me. If I wasn't lying on his chest I might have missed the way his heart seemed to slightly skip a beat at my movement or the way his breath seemed to hitch in his chest. That more than anything caused the moan to escape me than just his touch alone.

Eric was a drug to me right now. Better than any adrenaline surge, whiskey buzz or that feeling I get after winning a fight or spar. This whole night has been a range of one addicting aspect to another.

The hand that was running up my spine moves further up until it is now in my hair. I lift my head to look at him and my eyes go automatically to his lips moments before he pulls me up to meet mine with his.

Unlike before where I restrained myself from trying to deepen the kiss, this time I don't. I take the opportunity he gives me to explore his mouth, the pace and him. I can feel his patience with that slowly fade though to be replaced with his own need and he takes over. Gently at first but then more urgently.

Somehow we have turned so that instead of me laying on him I am now pressed into the couch with him beside and over me. My hands have worked under his shirt and my fingers lightly trace along each ridge that his muscles create in his abdomen.

I can't help the whimper and sighs as his own hand slowly starts to make its own way under my shirt, up the bare skin of my abdomen and stomach until finally his large warm hands gently cup me through the lace and silk material of one of my nicer bras.

He breaks away from this kiss to look at me as he rakes his fingernails along the material over my straining bud. My hands that are exploring his flesh curl slightly, as if trying to grasp him to pull him closer.

"Eric" I moan slightly as a the warmth in my center pulses with flutters and need. I feel it radiate to every part of my body. For a moment I think he is going to stop and pull away. "Eric please." I can't help but whisper as his mouth hovers just above mine.

I feel him take a breath before he brushes his nose against mine then takes my mouth in a kiss again. This time the desire breaks through his restraint and with a growl his hand slides under the material of my bra.

My back arches underneath him as I gasp and moan at the feel of his bare skin against me. His touching of me is firm but still gentle. More gentle than I thought he would be capable of and I love it. The care and restraint he is showing right now. This is another side no one but me would have seen and it adds to the desire I am feeling for him.

I am barely aware that my hands had started moving again but no longer against his chest. One had worked its way lower and I realize where it is as I brush along his hardness through his jeans.

He breaks from the kiss then with a groan. "Elle, gods I want you so bad."

I am panting as I nod and kiss along his jaw with a smile. "Eric I know you want to wait." I pull back to look at him. "But I don't. I want this and you. Like you said, the next few months will be stressful."

He doesn't say anything. Instead with a slight growl he takes my mouth again in a more hungry kiss before he pulls away and moves away from me to stand. He pulls me up with him so that I am standing in front of him, our chests pressed together. His hands go to either side of my face and his eyes hold my own. He takes a steadying breath.

"I'm going to straighten things up out here. Why don't you go back inside and…" He swallows a blushes slightly "get ready for bed. I'll be right in."

I start to argue but I see he needs a moment and to be honest I do too. Instead I nod with a small smile and blush. He kisses me softly once before he lets his hands fall away and guides me to the french doors of his room.

With a look back over my shoulder at him, still blushing I make my way to where my bag is and then to his bathroom. I close the door and blow out a nervous breath as I set my bag down on the double vanity counter and close my eyes.

I take a moment to calm my heart and breathing then open my eyes and pull out my nightclothes.

I think I knew I wasn't leaving tonight without having at least tried to get my way. I didn't pack my normal pajamas because I had seen that in my bag of clothes there were several different styles of sleep wear. One was the closest thing I had to lingerie.

It was a soft black chemise sleep dress that has floaty cap sleeves and a v neckline that goes pretty low but is covered with feminine lace bordering the neckline. I slip off my bra but leave on the silk and lace boy short underwear I have on, let the chemise slide over my skin and then take a look at myself in the mirror. My skin is still flushed with desire and my lips for sure look more pouty from all the kissing.

I quickly take out my toothbrush and brush my teeth, wash my face, and then brush my hair. With all of that done I pack my bag back up, take a breath and open the door.

He is already there and the room is lit with the fire from it's own stone fireplace. There are also lamps that are made of some kind of stone or amber that are on so it casts a warm light as well. He must have changed in the room because he is just in his pajama bottoms.

My mouth is goes slightly dry and my heart picks up as I walk to set my bag back down on the chair. I can't help but smile a little and blush more when I catch his whispered. 'Jesus'

After I set my bag down I stand there slightly unsure of what to do. "Come here Elle." His tone is soft but it is still a command.

I walk over to where he stands at the side of the bed, covers already pulled down. When I get close he reaches out a hand for me. My hand slides in his and our bodies move towards each other. Even that has our breathing picking up.

His hands move to the sides of my face and he makes me look at him. "Elle" he stops and chuckles slightly. "I feel like a gods damn schoolboy right now." He shakes his head and looks at me seriously. "Elle I didn't expect this. To be doing this right now."

He stops again and I know he is trying to get around to tell me something but I can't figure out what it might be.

He groans frustrated and presses his forehead to mine. "Baby, I didn't bring any...you know…" he growls and curses. "I didn't bring any protection"

I can't help the blush that crosses my face and the frown as well. "Oh." I chew my lip in thought and nod. "I got the shot. A few months ago I got the shot and the few times I did….I always made him wear one."

He growled again but more because he hated the thought of me and Tyler in that way. He let out a breath and nodded. "If you are sure about this Elle. I haven't been with anyone since you came to Dauntless. I also get tested so I am clean."

I wrap my arms around his neck and make myself look at him even if I am still blushing. "I am sure. Eric, I can tell you are worried about something with this whole thing. Is it…." I stop and frown because I feel my insecurities and Tyler's words come back to haunt me. "Is it because I don't really know how all this works or because I am so…"

I don't get to finish that because he really does let out an angry growl before he claims my mouth in a fierce kiss. Stealing the breath from my lungs and beat from my heart until he pulls away and looks at me with intense eyes. "Don't even think about completing that thought. You get that shit out of your head right now Elle. Do you understand me?"

In a daze I nod my head but he still doesn't accept that. "I understand Eric." I croak out.

He takes a calming breath. "Yes I am worried. Because this means more to me than just wanting you physically. I just don't want you to regret this Elle, it being so soon after all that."

I move a hand to the side of his face and smile at him. Wondering how no one before me could see the heart of this man. How they could only see the surface and not what was and is so clearly beneath all of that. It takes this kind of heart to make the sacrifices he does. It is ironic really, Fours dislike of Eric because he is hung up on his own abnegation upbringing, when Eric is probably the most sacrificing and selfless. I would never say that outloud to either of them though.

It would hurt Four and Eric might not appreciate the sentiment. And they say I am stubborn.

"Eric, I can understand that. If I had loved him, truly loved him or was still hurting over the loss of him, I could see that would be a good thing to do." I shake my head and press a small kiss to his lips before I pull back and sigh. "I didn't and I don't. I said before that I don't regret it and I don't. It taught me what I do want and what I don't. I don't want just the physical with you either Eric. Although," I blush and smile "I will admit that what I feel in that way seems like a tidal wave sometimes. I missed you Eric. You pulled away and I missed you more than I knew or understood. I want you Eric, not just this."

That was enough, that reassurance for both of us. I saw in his eyes the same reflection of feeling but also the relief and happiness my words brought him. When he brought my mouth to his again there was no hesitation between either of us anymore.

We stood there, in the light of the fire and kissed. Letting our hands explore more of each other now that there were no more reasons to not do so. I could feel his smile against my mouth or neck as I would gasp or moan at the different things I his body. The way his chest muscles rippled with movement when his hands moved along my back. The dips and hardness of his defined abdomen. The v at the sides of his hips that led to the place that was leaving me weak in my knees.

He broke from his explorations of me to hold my eyes again as he smiled softly at me. "You took my breath away when you came out in this Elle. I don't know if I would have had the strength to resist you if you had worn this last night."

I smirk a little and let a little mischievousness to shine through my eyes. "Well damn." I mutter.

He chuckles a little but then both our eyes darken as his hands go to the hem of the nightgown and starts to lift it slowly. Letting his fingers graze along my thighs, stomach and ribs as he slowly lifts it up and over my head.

His eyes and intake of breath as his gaze moves over me is everything. I remember his words from earlier about how he would never get tired of how I look at him. "Eric" I begin in a sigh and let my breathy voice finish as his dark eyes move to hold my own. His forehead furrowed as if worried something is wrong. "I'll never get tired of how you look at me either."

His forehead smooths slightly as a corner of his mouth turns up. "How do I look at you Elle?" His voice is husky and full of emotion too.

I swallow and smile. "Like you think I am beautiful."

He shakes his head and pulls me against him, our eyes closing at the contact of my chest against his and our groans silenced when he pulls my mouth to his again. He pulls away only to hover above them, as he lifts me in his arms, bridal style. "You are beautiful baby. But you are so much more than just beautiful Elle."

Those were the last real words that either of us spoke for a good while. Other than murmurings of each other's names. Sometimes we cried them out. Sometimes words wouldn't form and all that we could manage were moans, gasps and sighs of pleasure.

I was wrong about myself. I am capable of feeling that desire. I am capable of finding pleasure in another. I found that all with Eric and for the first time I found that I could also find those things by giving someone else pleasure. If I hadn't been addicted to Eric and the way he made me feel before then I was for sure now.

In the aftermath of the last time we found release he pulled me close and kissed my shoulders. Pressing his chest to my back with a sigh. "You are going to be a handful."

I couldn't help the sated and sleepy laugh and smile that escaped me. "You don't sound like you are all that upset with that thought baby."

He chuckled softly. "Fuck no. You won't hear me complaining. I just find it amusing that I am going to have to be the one that helps us both to maintain some kind of self control."

I can feel myself drifting already and I give a bit of hum. "Is that a challenge Eric?" I mumble.

His smirk against my skin is my answer before his kisses my neck softly and we both drift to sleep together.

Tomorrow we would need to wake early and get started on our way to start the next few months before I would become a full member and take my place finally in our faction. There was warmth and pleasure in knowing that Eric would be there. He would be hard on me, we would butt heads like we had before but in the end I knew without a doubt I would be stronger for it and him being by my side.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys! Wanted to let you know there will be chapters coming soon. I am doing full edits of all previous chapters and organizing all the handwritten work I had done on the story and several others. The holidays put a stop to some of this but I am working on it. So Chapters coming soon and sorry about the wait!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you everyone for your patience while work through my stories and update them. I want to do them justice and sometimes need to go back and edit things to make sure I and my characters are on the right track. This is going to be a bit of change up. When I first came up with the story I had wanted to do it in all Eric's POV but Elle came forth more. I feel this is a good time to go back and look at it from how he sees her and them. Hope you enjoy. As always: thanks for the views, reviews, follows and favs!**

 **Disclaimer: 'She took the leap and built her wings on the way down' V Roth's leap created the divergent universe that I circle and dive through on wings of my own.**

 **Chapter 13**

 _Eric_

The Pit was organized chaos at the moment. I stood with the Max and Harrison and looked over the group of their soldiers assembling. As always I wondered how many wouldn't be coming back anytime they had to engage in any type of conflict. My eyes moved over the group of former initiates from the last group, barely out of fucking training in my eyes and he scowled slightly. Gods I hoped I had done all I fucking could to prepare them for this shit.

With that last thought I let my voice boom out through the speaker system. "Alright listen up. I am sure you realize by now you are all here for a reason. At 0400 Erudite mobilized a controlled army they created using a serum. This army is made up of factionless and Intel suggest a few Erudite as well. They were armed by two traitors from our own faction. You will notice we are short two leaders up here. They have been taken into custody. It is left to us to serve our purpose, to protect our city and our homes. For now the bulk of this group has been mobilized against Abnegation."

Murmurs and cries of 'fucking cowards' ripple through group. No one is looking forward to the slaughter we might be walking into.

"Quiet! It is imperative that we get our shit together and move out now. We got the warning as fast as we could but it will take us a while to get it together. As you head out you will be gearing up. Do this quickly and board the train that is stopped. We are riding that straight to Abnegation. For the units that were asked to the debriefing before this, you move out first. You have your orders, you know what to do. If we want this to end now you need to follow those orders." I let my eyes move over to find the only person I am concerned about not doing so. Fucking Four. He glares back at me and I can tell he still thinks I am up to my ears in the plot to bring down our faction system. Even though he just watched me bring two traitors to justice.

Max looks to me and sighs. "Move out!" He barks his own orders then turns to me. "Eric take your group and the truck. Four and his unit will take the second truck and move in. I know you wanted to be the one to bring her in but we need you onsite in Abnegation. Prior and Four might be to close to that."

My lips thin but I nod. What he is saying makes sense but I still fucking hate it. I didn't hate Prior exactly but I did wish she would get her head out of Number boy's ass and learn to think for herself. She was better than I had expected her to be when she had jumped off the train. A bit mouthy but I hadn't minded that all that much. I did mind that she had seemed to follow along with whatever fucking Four told her. Internally I sighed, it wasn't like I hadn't been trying to act exactly like what he had been saying I was up until about almost six months before she showed up. Then we found out her plans and started to counteract them. I was able to stop trying to play that role anymore.

That hadn't mattered to Four and because his Stiff girlfriend followed what he said she fell right in line with him. Shame because she had been first. She had been up for leadership but had turned it down. She said it was because she didn't think she was cut out for it but I had a feeling it was because of Four.

The ride to Abnegation seems to take for fucking ever. I have Logan with me as well as Edward and Will. Two of the initiation class that Tris was in and they came in within the top five. Edward had recovered nicely after he was attacked and I was glad that Logan and I had talked him out of leaving instead of staying. It helped he was able to identify his attackers I think. Sucks for those two fucks Drew and Molly that they might be among those factionless today.

"Remember your training and our formation. Cover the rear and sides, we cover the front and roofs." Logan instructs the other two as we unload at the drop point.

We all brace ourselves when we hear gunfire. This isn't going to be good.

The first sign that something is off, other than the controlled factionless and Erudite, is the dead factionless and Erudite we are coming across. Some look like they have gunshots, some throats are slit, a few others I swear a neck was snapped. Logan and I are sharing looks and are on even more alert status because who the fuck was fighting back in Abnegation?

"Eyes peeled guys. We don't know what is going on but we need to move in and investigate." I bark out my order then Logan radios control. The control room is a mess and Uri and the crew there have been trying to restore the camera control from when Andre and Jerry sabotaged it all. We know things were being recorded it was just all hijacked by Erudite and those two.

We start moving in, taking out the controlled people when we see them. Our groups are spread out and the deeper we get the more concerned we get. There are Abnegation bodies, thankfully no kids yet, but there are also those factionless and Erudite again.

We make our way slowly, clearing buildings, alleyways and the small gardens as we go. We get radioed that Eaton is dead but Four and his team got Jeanine. She only had four guards to protect her. A pittance compared to the skill of the group that took them. It was kind of funny to hear that Prior had rifle butted her when she got a look around her old faction.

She keeps asking for permission to move in and search her old house, I guess for her parents. I hate to do it because I would want to be right in there if it were my family but she is to close to it so I had to have Logan deny her.

We are passing the middle section of buildings and we hear gunfire but it is coming towards us. This raises my hackles and we are preparing to have to engage. We start to round the corner at the same time as a gun and I am readying to pull the trigger. Only to see that the gun is followed by a young Abnegation woman. Eyes full of fire, covered in blood and staring me down.

"What the fuck!" I growl out in shock and Logan and I exchange glances. I don't remove my finger from the trigger completely but I do ease back. Fuck! I could have blown a fucking hole in the girl. What is she playing at?

I see her eyes move over me, take in my leadership tattoos especially and then her back snaps and chin raises. Her eyes get even more fiery if possible.

"You aren't stopping me. I will tell you that right now. I won't hesitate this time and I will put the bullet in her fucking head." She growls at me and her nostrils are flaring. I shouldn't be thinking this but damn she is hot. She is also in pain obviously but is it pain from being wounded? Because that is a lot of blood on her hands and clothes.

And who is she talking about killing? She can't mean Jeanine. She goes to move forward and I can't have some untrained Stiff running around with a gun no matter how much her fire is impressing me.

"Stiff, you aren't going anywhere. You will lower that weapon and tell me what the fuck you think you are doing." I give her my normal intimidating glare while I order her. I completely expect her to cower and obey but again I am shocked as shit. Because if anything her back gets even straighter and she almost scoffs at me.

"What am I doing? I am going to kill the bitch that just caused me to become a fucking orphan. I am fighting to keep the 30 kids I just smuggled away from this shit safe. And pray they don't join me in losing their fucking parents. What are you doing besides wasting my fucking time?" She growls out the challenge to me and motions with her gun for ME to move aside.

At first I feel anger at her not obeying me but then her words register. Who the fuck is this girl? I can't help but look at her and something softens in me. That is replaced by admiration because if what she is saying is true, damn that is amazing.

"She's gone already Stiff. We got her. I am sorry to hear about your family. But we need to clear the area. Will, you and Edward canvas the area. Logan with me and we will take the little lioness here to see about her cubs." Her back stiffens at something I said but then I see a debate in her eyes. She must decide I meant it as the compliment I did mean it as, because she nods and turns. Her movements in that and while we make our way are precise and trained.

Logan and I share looks again, wondering if we found the reason for the dead we know none of our own could have gotten to. She never drops her guard either. She looks to us to make sure we are covering sides as she covers the front and leads the way. I see her give a bit of a start and then she is taking off running as we near the meadow at the end of the Abnegation sector. Sure enough there are three factionless moving in and I am about to tell her to back off so we can take them out.

Before I can say shit though, and still while running, she lets off a controlled burst of fire. All hit their mark and take out the woman. My heart, for the first time in my life, is in my throat because I know they are about to return fire. She drops to a knee and we drop near her. I want to ball her out for what she did but I can't. She did everything like I would have fucking done and hope even half my soldiers could do. She still is scaring the shit out of me as far as trying to keep her safe and that does piss me off but I am also torn between being proud of her too. Seriously who the fuck is this girl?

So I have to drop my scowl and just shake my head at her in amusement and wonder. But if I can help it she will stay the fuck down now. "Keep down Lioness, we got this shit." I growl that out and fucking hope she will follow an order this time as I pop up and let off my own shots. The two remaining had started to advance on us but I was able to get them before they could even return fire.

Logan gives a nod that we are clear and I motion her up but put her in the middle of us this time. I see where she was heading to now. Smart fucking girl. They used the ruins of a cellar in the field. We would have missed it completely unless we combed the meadow. The grass and flowers are higher than the small remains of the wall that must mark where the cellar is.

I go first and of course there are screams from the kids, they see a gun and a big scary man. Those quiet down though when she comes down.

Then she is rushed by a only slightly older than her Abnegation woman who pulls her into a hug, which is another shock. "Elle! I was so worried. The ones you sent back said you refused to come with them. Mother is furious I let you go. She wants to know where your…."

Whatever she was about to say is cut off as a dragon lady of an older Abnegation comes around and speaks to my lioness like she is some petulant child being naughty instead of the warrior she so obviously is. "Electa Prior." Prior? Seriously? Fuck me running… "You put that weapon down this instance. I am sure your Mother and…"

I knew that was the wrong thing to fucking say as she was getting out the first syllable. I saw Elle's back snap and I knew the fire was raging in her eyes again, not that it had ever stopped. "Shut it Mrs. Black. My Mother and Father are dead. If you so much as say another word you will see just how much of a sucky stiff I truly fucking am. You wouldn't be here right now if I hadn't taken this weapon and put a bullet in that mans head that had a gun pointed at yours. Don't bring up my parent's again. They are fucking heroes."

There are gasps all around and the one that had pulled her to a hug goes to comfort her but she denies it. She refuses to cry and I am just sitting here fairly stunned in general. One, that my lioness is apparently related to Prior. Second, that Andrew Prior and his wife are dead. I had gotten along well with Andrew Prior and respected him. His loss was a great one for the faction.

She was handling this so well and I just could not wrap my head around that. She whips around to me and I can see her pain in her eyes. But she refuses to give up and give in to it. She wants to stay strong and do what her parents died for and trying to do themselves.

My admiration has just risen for her. I want to scoff at myself and find a way to hate her or dislike her. Because if I don't…..

It won't matter. I am going to have to call Tris then Four and her will make sure that she never wants to speak to me again. Might be better that happens soon. Real soon. I think as our eyes are locked and I see her drawing some kind of comfort from me just being there. Like me just holding her gaze is giving her strength. And gods help me I just want to get lost in those damn deep blue eyes.

With a sigh I speak to Logan after he tells me there is an all clear. I realize I must look like a fucking idiot to her. I haven't moved my eyes from her once. "Radio Control and have them send Prior from her unit to meet us at the tents."

I see her eyes widen and her catching of breath. There is relief and hope in her eyes. Now she knows she isn't alone anymore. I can give her that at least. "Tris" She whispers and I want to smile reassuringly to her but don't.

I just nod and move towards her. "She will meet us at the tents. You can hand over the weapon when we get there." I hesitate when I take in how she is holding the gun. It went from assured to almost desperate and trying to hold on to reality. I am not sure why I do it but I put my hand on her back and guide her along.

I don't think she even knows she did it but she leaned into me. Pressed her side right against mine as we walked along. No fear of combat and no fear of me. But I knew that when she didn't back down from from the first minute. I try not to acknowledge how right and good she feels pressed there.

I can also tell shock might be setting in for her. She is silent as we move along. My worry that this will overwhelm her starts to surface. I almost don't know how to deal with this myself. I don't worry about individuals other than the few that I am close to. I can count them on two hands and still have fingers left over. Somehow this beautiful slip of a girl is making me care about her and I barely know her.

I push her into one of the chairs gently and get the gun from her. I almost have to pry it from her but she finally lets go. Once I hand it over something prompts me to take her hands. I don't want to sit beside her so I squat down to look into her eyes.

They are beautiful. And while she has some resemblance to her older sister she has this grace and beauty that outshines her sister. "You did good Elle. Your sister will be here soon but we are going to need to get your statements about what happened. Are you going to be ok? Do you need me to stay?"

Did I just ask that? I realize not only that I did but I want to stay. I almost need to stay to make sure she is ok.

She swallows and shakes her head. She is fighting back tears and I wish I could tell her that it is ok to cry. She wouldn't appreciate that though. I know because I wouldn't if I were her. "No Sir. Thank you for your help. I am sorry about my dis…"

I can't help but chuckle. She is really worried that she disrespected me? No she gained my respect for sure. "Don't worry about it. Although it would have been funny to see how you handled that dragon lady in the cellar."

That got the desired result, sort of, as her lips twitch. I squeeze her hands and am about to try and comfort her more but Tris calls her name. So I wall myself back up and stand up before shit can be started anymore than I know it will be when Four finds me near one of his precious Stiffs. I can't bring myself to leave though even when he is giving me death glares. I just need to make sure she is ok.

She is pulled into her sister's arms and she still doesn't break and cry. I can tell it is a struggle though. I can also tell Four me wants to leave but that shit ain't happening.

"They are gone Tris. She told me to run but I wouldn't. I couldn't not fight. I heard the first gunshots and I felt rage and she knew I wouldn't leave. She wanted to get me to Amity. If I had gone she would be al…"

Tris stops her by shaking her head and they share sad smiles. "No Elle. Neither of them would have left either. I already know that she felt the same thing when she heard those shots too. Don't….just…" Tris stops and smooths hair back on Elle's head, tucking it behind her ear. The same thing I had just been wanting to do before they came along.

"We all knew you are just as much Dauntless and a fighter as if you were born into it. We both were. I would have done the same and I know they are proud of you right now. Four heard some initial reports of how many you saved Elle. Forty five kids and fifteen adults all saved by one person. You Elle. You found and defended them. Dad and Mom would be proud."

You can hear the pride in Tris' voice and I can even see it radiating from Four. I had heard the same report from my communicator but had been a little preoccupied with just her. That fact alone just raises my respect and affection for the girl. I realize though that she is about to go through an even bigger amount of trauma. They are going to want her to walk them through how a girl from Abnegation managed to take out so many armed and controlled factionless and Erudite. Some of them weren't even done with a gun.

I see Logan approach into the tent and he moves close to me. I can see he is just as worried as I am about her. Elle takes a deep breath as if preparing herself for something, some kind of big confession. I tense as I look to her.

"I almost didn't stop myself from killing her and him for that matter. They had that sick bastard on his knees and I still wanted to take the shot. I barely pulled myself away so I wouldn't give my position away or the kids. I don't know what happened."

Her voice was like steel. Beautiful intoxicating steel but not weak or laden with tears from grief. The control that must have taken. Would I have had the same presence of mind? To not take out the woman that just killed my parents and so many more or the man that I knew had been sick and abused more than just his son. All because she knew she had a duty and it would expose her and those she protected. If nothing before had told me she was coming home to Dauntless, that did alone. I can feel myself finding hope and it is stupid. I shouldn't because there is just too much shit with Four and I. I know I will though, I will hope I can get her to see me when she gets there.

Tris nods with thinned lips. "Four and I were part of the team that took her down. He was shot before we could get to him though."

"Is she dead?" She uses that same growl she used when we first clashed. I can tell she gets the answer by the way Tris shifts. I see her tense and her chin raise. "She better not get away with it Tris."

"The investigative team is here. They are going to question her now." Logan speaks lowly to me.

I sigh and nod. "Do me a favor Logan…."

He looks to me with a smirk. "I was actually going to ask you for a favor."

I quirk an eyebrow and look at him. "What?"

"Let me go with our Lioness here. Not that I don't trust Four or Tris, but there is something about Elle here…" He trails off in a frown and I frown at him. I feel a surge of jealousy and I glare at him.

He must notice this and he smirks at me shaking his head. "Calm down caveman. I just want to make sure she is ok and those dicks in the investigators don't give her shit. I also want to know how she knew what she knew. From all the reports I am getting Eric, there was her and her Mom. And her Mom wasn't the one that took out most of the ones we saw."

I sigh and run a hand over my face. "Well I was going to ask you to go with them anyways. I can't because I have to set up the command tent but then there is the issue with Four. Just make sure he doesn't give her shit and if she needs help try to talk her through it. You have seen a lot more action that he has."

Logan nods but is still smirking at me but then gets serious when the investigators ask Elle to walk them through her actions and kills. We both growl but he goes with them. With a sigh I watch her walk out. Back straight and chin up still. She still hasn't cried once.

With a shake of my head I go to the Command tent that was just set up and start trying to sort through all the shit we are going to have to deal with for the next couple of weeks.

A few hours later I am sitting at a table with Max and Harrison going over the reports of the dead, the missing and the status over at Erudite when, Tris requests permission to enter. I already know what it is about and more than hope for it and expected it.

Max grants permission and she comes in looking grim but determined.

"Sir's. I know that you are aware that my sister is among the dependents that lost a parent. We...she lost both of them today." She stopped and cleared her throat and Max nodded. His eyes flashing sympathy.

"You want to see about bringing her to Dauntless?" It was a question but we all knew the answer. In fact Electa Prior had been somewhat a topic of conversation today on more than one occasion.

One, because she was on the list of top divergents that Jeanine was after. No wonder her parents wanted to get her out of here and to Amity. The second was because of all the reports of her actions that were rolling in. The Abnegation she helped were providing statements, investigators putting in their reports and then there was the footage that was coming in slowly from Control now that they got control back from Erudite. Even Logan had sent me a report by message and told me he would like to be stationed around here if he could. He gave a bit of details on her status and I agreed it would be good for him to talk to her. Especially when he gave a report on how and where her mom died. She needed someone that wouldn't judge or placate. I couldn't be there but Logan would be a good choice.

Tris nods firmly. "Yes Sir. I will be straightforward Sir. We have always known Elle would be coming to us in Dauntless. Even more than me Sir my family has always known where Elle belonged." She stopped and smirked as she shook her head. "She never could hide it either. The only thing that kept her Dauntless self in line a little bit were my parents. She did it for them and even then not all that well. She started training on her own well before I transferred and then when I transferred…" She trailed off and I couldn't help the internal laughing.

I could imagine her doing it too. Running off and training on her own. Apparently though the self training stopped and Four and Zeke took over. At least that is what Logan had gathered from Four.

I know I am smirking a little myself and I shrug. "I see no reason why we couldn't allow it. In all honesty she will just be getting there a bit earlier. I understand she would have been choosing this year before the changes anyways." I wanted to growl at that. Not only because those changes made Jeanine make her moves like she did but also because it meant that Elle became untouchable to me.

If she wasn't choosing that meant she was considered a dependant until she turned 18. I frown when I realize what my own conclusions came to and I run a hand over my face. Fuck, I am in trouble here. She is Four's sister in law, or future one. And you can bet if he doesn't turn her against me, he is at the very least going to cause major shit if he ever finds out what I am thinking.

Max quirks an eyebrow at me but I just shake my head. I love the man like a father and I know I won't be able to hide my train of thought here but this is not the time. He gets the message and sighs then looks back to Tris.

"I have no problem with it either, Tris. Harrison?" He looks over to the Leader. Elise, Max's wife and another leader is back at the Compound and organizing the Council.

Harrison shakes his head with a smile on his lips. "From what I am hearing, Abnegation if they know what is good for them, will cooperate and let her come home. You never know with them though. I say I have no issues with it. It might be better if I deal with the remnants of their leadership though to try and get the details nailed down. You know they are going to want us to jump hoops though to get it done."

He isn't wrong and I suppress my growl but not my sigh. "No doubt they will try to insist that it would be too great a burden on Dauntless and her sister. We all know it will be because they don't think it would be a suitable environment for her."

Tris snorts, apparently unable to hold it in. "I think that the only ones that might have issues with it is Mrs. Black. She is sure she can nag the wildness out of my sister. She would do well to not try and push her buttons though. My father isn't here to save the old hag anymore."

I can't help the wicked grin that comes over my face. "Oh I think your sister might just have put her in her place this afternoon when she tried to invoke the name of your parents to try and bring her to order. I was surprised she restrained herself like she did."

Tris sighs with a smile. "She has control. Too much control sometimes. She can push down her feelings like nothing I have ever seen before. It makes her scary capable but…" she trails of with a frown and I nod.

I chew my lip in thought, thinking I might want to be there when Logan talks to Elle. I was already going to do it anyways or had more than had made up my mind to. Max side eyes me with a growing smirk before he wipes it away and looks back to Tris. "We will do what we can to see if we can make that happen. It's the least we can do if even half of these reports are true. You realize Tris, she will have to testify at trial for her own actions but in relation to the attacks. She won't be in trouble but it is necessary for true justice to be brought to those responsible."

Tris nods and her lips thin. "Sir, you realize that she is…"

Max holds up and nods. "Tris, let me assure you I do not and never have bought into the bullshit about Divergents. I kind of can't considering I am one. Yes we realize she is one and I know she was at the top of her list. You were too but then you disappeared off her radar and your sister became her primary target. I am not sure if you know how high or if she is even aware of how high she is."

Tris sighs and I tense. This I didn't know so I prepared myself. "We knew three, the same as me. I am guessing it is higher though." She replies a little tightly.

I cleared my throat. "I wasn't aware you were three. I thought two. Jeanine was sure you were Dauntless and Erudite at the very least."

Tris' gaze moved over me and her head tilted. I could tell she was still hesitant to talk to me about this and I couldn't give her any more reassurance than I already had. I guess my actions for her sister count for shit either. I am about to lose it on her when something in her eyes change and she answers me. "Dauntless, Erudite and Abnegation in that order."

I am shocked she answered me. I nod though and think. It makes sense. I myself am Dauntless and Erudite. I can see those two being her top two as well.

Max nods and laughs. "Well your sister is four."

My eyes widen and so do Tris'. "What four?" I ask frowning.

Max smirks. "Well the first one is pretty damn obvious. Dauntless, Erudite, Amity and Abnegation; in that order."

Tris shakes her head smiling. "Well that explains alot. She always did say she was a much suckier Stiff than I ever was. She even said she felt better with the tree hugging Amity than she did the dullards of grey house row."

Max and Harrison let out barks of laughter and I couldn't help but to chuckle too. I could see her saying that too and I hadn't even known her that long. I am so in trouble here.

After they calmed down from laughing Max shook his head. "We will be able to work something out with her having to take the truth serum. For myself I am just given a higher dose and it works just the same. I am sure that is all we will have to do for Elle. That is what she goes by correct?"

Tris nods and gives him a small smile. "I appreciate everything sir."

After that we have to bring her and Elle in for starting the process of making all the arrangements. I see that someone had finally helped and allowed Elle to clean herself up a little. I was glad to see she was holding up rather well but it still worried me. If we couldn't get Abnegation to let her go home with her sister then she would be forced to stay with some family here. As much as I might not really like Tris and for sure could not stand Four, Elle needed her family right now. She needed to be able to grieve and I could tell she wasn't going to do that around someone she wasn't close to.

I try not to listen in too much while they are making funeral arrangements. I can't help it though. She is just so composed and I wonder if she is pushing her feelings down like Tris said she is capable of doing.

When I see her smiling as they start to talk about flowers though, I know she isn't. "Mom would love those. I don't know what the council will say though."

Tris scoffs. "It is the one time they allow this type of thing and they have nothing they can say about it anyways. We are having them cremated and scattering their ashes. The memorial table is allowed to have a simple arrangement and we both know that purple hydrangeas were both of your favorites."

Elle sighs and smiles. "Yeah. It was always nice when I could sneak to Amity to visit Serena and Mike. They would always have some for me to take home. I always wished I could just plant some near us. Just to have some color and freshness to break up all this dullness."

Tris smirks and nods. "Mom said she was surprised that you didn't sneak in seeds to do just that. She would have secretly loved it."

"Well then we will make sure to get some from Amity. If you don't mind doing that Tris? I don't have access to any…" Elle trails off and Tris pulls her to her side.

"Don't worry about it Elle. We will figure all of that out but of course I can take care of it.

It doesn't take them long to make the funeral arrangements. Then they have to move on to set up possible testimony dates and all of the bullshit the Candor rep wants from her. I feel like strangling the little shit for the looks he keeps sending her. Amid all of the crap she is going through, she has to deal with some Candor trying to hit on her.

Tris and Four glare enough though and he ends up cooling it. Elle remained pretty oblivious during it all though.

Abnegation still wouldn't work with Harrison to see about getting Elle with her sister. It was determined she would just stay in the Prior home though and I was able to get the others to agree that assigning Tris and Four to guard duty would be a good idea and they could be with her. Elle wasn't there for that and I was glad really. I think Tris found out though because she kept giving me looks the rest of the day.

Logan of course made sure he was with them but then again there was a lot of intel we were still trying to come by so until all the details and footage was secured of her actions, it was necessary for him to be near anyways. While she would need to testify and her statements were recorded, outside of Abnegation it wasn't going to be a announced thing of her actions here today.

That bothered me a little, her not being able to be recognized for her bravery and strength of character. I understood why and agreed when Harrison and Max spoke with Jack Kang and Layla Andrews from Abnegation. It would protect her and allow her to deal with her losses.

I did push for her to receive not only the death benefits she would normally get because of her becoming an orphan but I also pushed for her to receive compensation and awards from Erudite. This would set her up at least until she could get her job assignment after training. She lost everything and she would go to Dauntless with basically nothing because of her soon to be former faction. She saved lives and she sacrificed to do that. I would make sure damn sure she was taken care of. I would have to do it from the shadows because it wouldn't be appreciated by her family but I didn't care. I needed to see she was taken care of.

I needed to know she was taken care of, that she was coming home...and when I could see her again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 _Eric_

"How is she doing?" I ask Logan as I walk into the Prior home two days later.

Logan sighs and nods. "Honestly Eric? She is doing pretty freaking good considering everything she has been through. She cried that first night but not since really. All while in her sleep. It was like she couldn't let herself do it until she was unconscious."

I frown and look around the corner. She is sitting in the living room on the couch reading. We are keeping our voices down for right now. Tris was able to get Four out of the house and agreed, shockingly, to allowing me to come and be with Logan to talk to her about everything.

"Has she been having nightmares?"

He shakes his head. "No. At first I thought that first night it was nightmares so I stayed near to make sure she was ok. I talked to her about it the next day and she said she can control her dreams. When they get bad, she changes them, normally anyways."

I nod in thought, it isn't unheard of for someone to be able to do that. I do the same thing but I am not sure if it is because of my divergence. Studies I had looked at from pre-war said it is just the individual bringing themselves out of deep sleep just enough to be able to make a conscious choice to change the dream and then they do it. I sigh and change the subject. "Does she need anything? I know you asked for books, does she need new ones?"

Logan smirked at me. "Why don't you ask her yourself. She asked about you by the way. She asked if you were the one that had made sure she had new books and if you were uncomfortable being in the house or something."

I tried hard not to look pleased and failed. Did it please me to no end that she was asking about me? Fuck yeah it did. Because all could fucking think about was her.

Logan shook his head with a smug smile and I scowled at him. "Don't Logan. You know nothing can happen anyways. Even if it wouldn't get me in deep shit because she isn't 18 yet. How long do you think it will be before Four gets it in her head that I am some kind of monster?"

Logan sighs and shrugs. "Look, I haven't know her that long but it already feels like she is a little sister to me. She isn't your normal stiff for damn sure and she is unlike any other girl I know...barring well…" he trailed off and we shared a look. I nodded in understanding to him.

"All I can say is that Four has already said things to her and she doesn't seem to be bothered at all about it. I overheard her tell him something when he asked what you had done to her before they got there that day. She got this fierce look on her face and said that you did what any good leader should and would do and protected her and those she had saved. That it was you who knew it would be important that she see Tris. He had scoffed at her and she gave him the hardest glare, it rivaled yours Eric. She said that she would appreciate if he let her form her own opinions. Especially when all he could do was give vague reasons or ridiculous ones."

I was more than stunned but I felt relief course through me too. Logan could see it and he smiled then shrugged with a frown. "We don't have long so we need to go talk to her if we are going to do that. How are things going for getting her home?"

He scowled at that and I completely understood. Abnegation were dragging there fucking feet here and there was no reason to. Layla was working hard to counter it but the faction leadership was a mess.

I sigh and rub my neck. "We are jumping a few hoops but Harrison and I are working on it. They wanted to look at living conditions and we had to get that sorted because Four and Tris only had a studio. I got them set up in a new place next to Zeke. Apparently Zaria and Elle are best friends so that should help her. It is close to you too. I know you worried about that. The Pedrad's and the rest of the gang were going to start moving them over so Elle will only need to set her room up."

Logan looked relieved as he sighed. "Thanks for that. She is strong and almost too independent and stubborn as shit. She would never have asked for anything. She is already talking about trying to find some kind of work to help out with her care and getting clothes she will need. I didn't know what arrangements had been made that way but I tried to tell her she wouldn't need to worry about it. Her back snapped and she growled out that she wouldn't take charity. We are going to be in trouble with her there. She is going to draw some eyes for sure just on her looks alone Eric. She doesn't even fucking see it either."

I feel a growl come from my chest and I run a hand over my face. "How can one girl inspire so much shit in one person at the same fucking time?" I growl out.

Logan chuckles. "I remember thinking something along the same lines about Emma all the damn time."

He sighs and nods to the living room. I take a breath and follow him in. She is curled up on the couch, absorbed in the book and so focused it takes him shaking her slightly to recognize someone is there.

She looks up and smiles at him, blushing as she puts the book down. "Sorry, you know how I get. I just…" Then she notices me and trails off. Her face as her eyes light up when I come into view, it almost knocks the breath from me. "Eric." She says in an almost happy sigh. "Thank you so much for the books. I have been going a little crazy here with not being able to train really, or go outside of the sector. I understand why, it just feels…"

I nod and smile back at her. "Like you are trapped."

She gives a sigh and nods. "Yes and it must seem terribly ungrateful of me but I almost wish that whoever was trying to be thoughtful and let Four be one of the guards...had been a little less so."

Logan chuckles and I know my lips are twitching but then I frown. "Is he giving you problems?"

She pulls her legs up to her chest and shakes her head. Her hair is down and I notice that her hair has curls to it. It is blonde like Tris' but there are hints of gold and a faint bronze in there. Another entrancing thing about her and Logan is right, we are in trouble with her here. I already knew I was in trouble but now it is just an added one for me.

"Not problems. He was always protective of me. From the moment he came into Tris' life and found out about me. In training he became more so but now with all of this; I feel like he is waiting for me to break like glass. It is really just starting to piss me off honestly." She growls the last part out.

Logan nudges her and smiles at her like the brother I know he sees himself as now. Logan is a hard nut to crack but Elle got in there within moments. I knew he would lay his life down for her in instant if he had to just by his look at her. She would also never find a better friend than Logan. I knew I was grateful for him and having had him by my side through all the shit I had to put up with regarding Jeanine even before I transfered.

"He just wants to make sure you are ok in dealing with it all Elle. It is unusual for even season soldiers to be handling things as well as you seem to be."

Elle frowns and chews her lip. "So am I not normal or something? Because I am not tearing my hair out in grief or curled up in a ball because of what needed to be done?"

I frown at the thought of her thinking that way about herself. "No." I growl out. "Don't ever think that or say that again Lioness. How you handle shit may be different from the next person but it doesn't make it normal or abnormal. It's just how you process things. It helps to talk about things too so that is why we are here."

Logan looks thoughtfully at me and then back to her. "He is right Elle. Don't ever let me hear you saying that about yourself, or even fucking thinking it again. I know that divergent shit has thrown you off. I am sorry you had to find out that way. But know no one gives a shit and the only ones that did will be finding their justice soon."

I scowled then looked to Logan for the answer to my unspoken question of what he meant about how she found out and why she was upset about it. "Caleb told me." She said softly, looking at me and answering the question for me. "He told me that he was glad I was ok and he was so worried. That he had found out I was a primary target in the attack because I am the highest divergent that has been found to date. It was kept a secret, even in Erudite, how high I was. I always knew that I must be like Tris at the very least. I shouldn't have started signing up for those other classes. I could have hid better."

I shake my head and try to reassure her with my eyes. I take a breath before I say this. "She probably would have gone after you anyways because you are a Prior. She had an obsession with Prior's, Elle. I tried to deflect her as much as possible about Tris. She was pretty laser focused on her though until suddenly after she passed initiation and couldn't be caught she stopped being so focused on her."

"Because she had moved on to me most likely. I had started to take more advanced classes, checking out books that were more advanced. If she was obsessed then she would have been watching me." Her eyes got calculating, like she was linking events and puzzle pieces.

I swallowed because even that was a doing things to me. Logan cleared his throat to change the subject. "Elle do you remember I told you I would share my story one day. If you want me to I can now. Do you think it might help you out?"

Elle's gaze moved to Logan and she tilted her head but then smiled and nodded. "Please. I know that Four means well but I think he would just be placating me for how I feel. I don't think you two will. You will tell me how it is and not sugar coat things and I need that."

Logan nods proudly at her and begins to tell her about the sweeps we had to do in the factionless sector. The one he tells her about was before I transferred and was bad. They were after an armed group that were harassing, attacking and killing other weaker unarmed groups of factionless. He and I both had always had such control on our rage and pushing things aside emotion wise so we could focus and do our jobs with clear heads.

There were times when it just isn't possible to keep that control all the time. That was one of the times for him. They had caught up to the group and caught the tail end of them taking out a small group, women and children. His control had snapped and while he hadn't been overly brutal it was still disconcerting to have that happen.

"I didn't enjoy killing them Elle. I did enjoy knowing that justice had been served and those bastards would never hurt anyone again. I also didn't like losing that control either Elle but I know myself enough to know that even in my rage I wouldn't go completely out of control. Do you remember what you were telling Tris and me about when you came upon Jeanine?"

Elle nodded and her face hardened. "I was so beyond seeing red because Mom had just happened. It was bad because I know I had taken out several of the controlled while I was working my way but even in my rage I was almost like on autopilot. When I got to her it was like my body got stuck. I stayed there just...stroking the trigger. It was so fucking tempting and would have been so easy to just apply a little more pressure. Then my brain started working a little and calculating that I was further than I would have liked for the weapon I had. That even if I got her there would be the four with her and a shot to her would alert them to my position. Then there were the kids, and after I saw their faces in my mind it broke the trance a little."

I was in awe of her. I had been in awe of her from the moment she rounded the corner but it just kept getting worse for me. It was going beyond desire and that was something that scared the shit out of me.

"Exactly Elle. Your rage didn't take away your mind or who you are as a person. Even without the rage you probably still would have thought those same things. It just feels different because you usually push all that away. You call it being outside of your feelings and from what you are explaining to me, all it was is you being brought back into them during that time." Logan wasn't using a placating or condescending tone. But his Erudite was showing a little in his eyes and tone because he sounded thoughtful. He was listening to her and helping her to break it all down and analyze it.

I could tell she appreciated this and it was almost like it was on her own wavelength.

We sat there for a few more hours talking, mostly Logan but I talked as well when I could tell she wanted me to. She told us a little more about the encounters that had bothered her the most. The one that stood out for her was when she had come upon a mother and little six year old boy. Her mother and her had been just starting to try and get the kids out. Her mother had taken on the one that was going to take out the mother and Elle had to take on the one for the little boy. She had only a knife and ended up having to do hand to hand and then cut his throat.

I hated to have to hear that she went through that but I was amazed at her outlook at it.

"It helped that afterwards Mom didn't look at me like a monster. She looked proud but also as if she was pained I had to do that. We didn't get to say much about it but she had said that I needed to look at the result not the action. It had needed to be done and I held no hate in my heart when I did it." Elle shrugged and sighed. Her eyes were holding mine, they had been quite often during this whole time.

Every time it was like sending jolts of desire but also just warmth. The way she looked at me, respect, happiness, a bit of confusion and her own innocent desire that maybe was just starting out.

I knew in that instant that I would need to give her space. She was going to be going through so much and adjustments from one way of life to another. It would give us time to get to know each other at least and if she felt more later, I could make my move then. For now I would just soak in being around someone that was seeing me for me and I was letting her.

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She was happy. That is all that matters right? I watch her from my place at the leader table in the dining hall. I see her smiling and hear her laughter. Part of me is glad she is adjusting to her new home so well. The other part of me hates it that I have to hold myself from her so much. She has only been here a month but she already is looking Dauntless. Hell even her name is Dauntless now.

Electra Prior. I hadn't been able to stop the smile when I saw that in the paperwork that Tris had brought us after it all got signed off on. She changed it only slightly. She would still be Elle she was just becoming more herself.

She didn't shy away from showing skin but she wasn't too revealing. She tended to prefer jeans over the skirts and dresses I had heard her friends were always trying to get her in. She got gauges and when I saw them I thought my body was going to just burst into fucking flames right there when I got up close to her.

I had went with Logan to a party that Zeke and Shauna were throwing to welcome her home. She hadn't even hesitated and sat right fucking by me. That alone had me feeling some kind of way but then looking over at her hair in these braids she seemed to love that made her look like she had a mohawk with braids on the side too. Only to be drawn to her ears to see decent sized black gauges with the plugs in a steel but fucking computer parts and workings in them. I had barely restrained my groan from that and then being pressed close to her on the crowded couch had been sweet hell. You couldn't have paid me to move no matter how painful it might have been for me by the end of the night.

I had never been as much of a womanizer as I got a reputation for. I had honestly been too fucking busy. I wasn't celibate but I was selective. I wasn't even trying anymore after Elle walked into my damn life. I decided I wasn't going to either. It was encouraging that she didn't even look twice at other guys. I could also tell that she felt something for me but she had no clue what it was.

This worried me because I felt like I should let her explore and experience things. At the same time the fucking thought of anyone else touching her was enough to have me snapping for no reason.

Sighing after our eyes connect and she smiles at me, I look back to my tray and my food. Logan slides in beside me with his own tray and smirks at me but then looks contemplative.

"What are you up to?" I growl out as I quirk an eyebrow and take a bite of my dinner.

"Not up to anything." He says with a smirk and then gets serious. "I do have a favor to ask though."

I shrug and give him a look that says it will depend. "Go on." I say simply.

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. "Look I wouldn't normally ask because I really am not trying to push things. I understand your reasons even if I think it is a mistake to wait. I need you to hang out at my apartment tonight. I have a date and…"

I scoff shaking my head. "I am not interested in being tricked into another one of your double date schemes."

Logan looks confused for a moment then laughs. "No man it isn't like that. Elle has been hanging out at my apartment a lot at night. Or really just a lot in general, instead of going home. I am usually there with her at night but when she does it during the day I let her have her space. I have a date tonight so she will be alone…" He trails off but I am frowning.

Why is she spending so much time there or not wanting to go home. "What is going on at home that she doesn't want to go there Logan?" I try to keep my voice low but I can't help the growl that comes out or the scowl on my face.

Luckily there are empty spaces near us since the Max and Elise are at home with the grandkids and who knows where the hell Jason is.

Logan sighs and runs a hand over his face. "Who just joined leadership or rather leadership in training?"

I shake my head not following. "Tris, but what the fuck does that…"

Logan frowns at me, interrupting. "And who is she engaged to Eric? It isn't exactly going well between them right now. Elle doesn't know that is why though and it isn't my place to say since I don't even know that is for sure what is going on. She just says things are tense and she doesn't feel like her presence is making things better. So she can stay with me as long as she needs to."

I can feel my temper start to rise at Four and his bullshit. Of course he would make it hard on Tris because she most likely went against him not wanting her anywhere near leadership. That it was causing shit for Elle was almost beyond what I could handle right now. Logan got my attention and shook his head.

"It will just make it worse if you try to say shit. The best you or I can do is be there for her. That is all I am asking here Eric. Just hang out with her tonight. She was pretty fucking insistent I go on this damn date or I would just call it off. Said she wouldn't be the cockblocking kid sister and she would just find somewhere else to hang out for the night." Logan smirked at the last part, shaking his head at her and just how much she already fit in.

My lips twitched and he sighed but nodded. "I can do that. Logan has she been staying the night there too?"

Logan shrugged. "Sometimes we watch movies and she just passes out. I set up the other room for her after the first night. Don't tell her I said that because I told her it was always set up as a guest room. You know her, she will get pissed about me going out of my way or something."

I snort and take a bite of my food. She had the abnegation thing of being selfless but in my Lioness it came out as a bite. She would get pissed off if she thought someone was trying to give her charity or were putting themselves out for her. She wasn't above snapping at them or yelling at them if she had an inkling or hint of that at all.

"Is she still talking about getting work?" I asked with a frown after swallowing my bite of food.

He shook his head after eating some of his own. "Not really. She got talking to Chris and the shop owner that she works for was interested in some of her ideas about putting her drawings on clothes, or just her designs. So she has been selling some of the designs to her and even going in to help put together outfits or get them made. She is really good Eric, her drawings. I already have one set to get tattooed on me. It started out she was just drawing them for her to get later."

I nod with a small smirk. I had seen a few in passing when she was drawing at the parties I was at. "I got to see a little here and there. I will have to ask her about them. What time do you want me there?"

He shrugs in thought. "Well she has my code so she was just going to go there when she got done with whatever she was going to do tonight after dinner. You have the code too so you can head there whenever you want too. Oh, she got a tablet phone. Wanted a music player but I convinced her that was a waste to limit herself. She almost shit herself when she found out about the app to get books."

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me then. I could imagine her eyes lighting up at that but then the expletives that would come from her mouth instead of just regular happy cries. The thought of being able to talk to her though had me more excited than I was comfortable with at the moment.

Apparently Logan knew this and was smirking to himself as he started to eat and then messing with his tablet. My own went off and I looked to see it wasn't just him sending me Elle's information but Elle messaging me herself.

' _Logan said you didn't believe I had joined the land of the technologically advanced. You still think I live on dullard row or something?' - Elle_

I smirk and look up to see her looking over at me with her eyes shining in laughter and a smirk on her lips. Her eyebrow quirks in a challenge. I chuckle and shake my head.

' _You never lived there Lioness. You were just visiting until you could make it home. Glad you joined the land of the superior species though.'- Eric_

' _Wow, cocky much? Don't answer that. It will just be some cocky come back and I can already fill in the blanks. Is Logan putting you up to babysitting me tonight?'- Elle_

' _Now why would you want to steal my thunder? Nah he isn't making me babysit but he is bailing on plans we had made. So maybe you can keep me company since I am not important enough anymore.' -Eric_

I wasn't about to tell her the truth because that would mean her stubborn streak would kick in and she would find somewhere else to hang out. I wanted to have the time with her but I couldn't just come out and say that.

' _Poor baby. Just kidding. Don't kill me in training tomorrow please? I mean you are most likely going to anyways. Who am I kidding? I look forward to it. Sounds good, I don't mind the company either. I will just be doing some schoolwork or drawing. There is a martial arts movie I wanted to watch though if you don't mind.' - Elle_

I looked up to meet her eyes. Her whole comment about the training shouldn't get me turned on but hell if it doesn't. To know she enjoys that shit but also because it is the only time I allow mymself to touch her more than I should or does with anyone else just makes it worse.

She blushes and then looks back at her friend Zaria who is talking to her about something. Logan smirks over at me and I roll my eyes at him.

He snorts. "You're welcome by the way."

"Yeah thanks." I mutter sarcastically but we both know I really do mean it.

' _I promise to only make you wish you were dead but not actually kill you. Sound like a deal for you? Like I am going to say no to a martial arts movie? I will probably be doing some work myself. Paperwork is never ending.' - Eric_

' _Well if you ever need help with it….I did help my dad on occasion. I liked helping because I got to know the ins and outs of the council meetings. I even attended meetings that were open to the public when budgets, security and other important city decisions were being made. So I know the lingo and bs they are inundated with.' - Elle_

I can feel myself getting a bit uncomfortable under the collar just from the thought of her helping me in my office filing or doing paperwork with me. Gods that would not be a good idea at all but I also know I am probably going to take her up on it.

"Gods dammit it's like I just have no fucking control here." I mutter as I am already typing my message to her.

Logan chuckles as he continues to eat and I know he is smirking. "Like I said, bad idea to wait. For more than one reason Eric." He gets serious so I finish typing my message to her and then look back up.

' _Might have to take you up on that. If nothing else you can listen while I rant at their asinine behavior. See you after dinner?' -Eric_

"What do you mean?" I am frowning at him.

He sighs and shrugs. "You don't see the looks she gets in the training rooms or anywhere else? She is also no longer among a faction that tries to put a chastity belt on their dependents. Do I think she is going to start tossing herself around? No that ain't Elle. But she is curious as shit and stubborn. She is going to start dating soon, if for no other reason than because she wants the experience."

My phone goes off and lets me know she replied.

' _Going by the tattoo parlor to get some dermals but afterwards, unless you want to go with me. It's up to you.'-Elle_

I groan reading that and shake my head. "She's getting dermals?"

Logan frowns but nods. "Yeah. I told her I would go with her but she said that she was good."

I try not to feel smug that she just invited me but fail miserably. He looks at me with a scowl. "She asked you to go?"

I shrug and smirk then reply back to her before I answer.

' _I'll meet you there.' - Eric_

"Yep." I pop the 'p' and hit send on my message. I watch for her to get it and when she does she blushes but doesn't look at me. She bites her lip before she starts eating again. "I am so in trouble here…."

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It has been almost three weeks and almost everyday I am spending time with Elle at Logan's. Usually at night after I get done with work. On the weekends Logan and Elle do runs and sometimes they head to Amity. I have gone with them a number of times on the runs and to Amity. When we aren't at Logan's apartment I have started to put in training with her.

She already does training right after she gets back from her classes. She also goes for a run in the training room on the treadmills before she even goes to classes. Her dedication is beyond pleasing to me.

Logan and I have can be dicks about it but we have been pretty serious on what she trains in, where and how long. If we don't stop her she will just keep going and that won't do her any good. And I thought I was bad about pushing myself.

Right now I am not with Elle though, I am in Abnegation and am watching as a few of my guys are doing a task for me. A task that I am sure they are questioning the fuck out of but I don't give a shit. This is how I know I am already in too deep with Elle. This is also how I know that I am going to have to stop spending those days and nights with her like I have been. I know I am going to have to, but not tonight. I will take these last few ones with her before I pull away a little.

I will still be her friend, I will still look for other ways to see her or be with her. I just can't do the nights alone in that apartment with her anymore. Not after what happened the other night.

It wasn't anything big. We were watching a movie together like we have done so many times over the last three weeks. Sometimes eating dinner in his apartment and talking.

We talk about things I would never talk about besides with Logan, Max and Elise and their son Max Jr. Anything from books, history, things I like or feel. I even told her about how I got involved with Jeanine and the real story behind it. She had asked though. That had made me happy, that she didn't want to take someone's word or opinion for what happened. She wanted to know why Four had such a problem with me.

I had told her about my sister and family. That I had done it to stop Jeanine but that I had to act like I was on board with everything. She had understood and said she would have done the same thing. I have revealed more of myself to her than anyone else really other than Emma and Logan.

Over the last few weeks though when we are spending time together we don't even try to not sit close together, almost cuddling. The other night though we were cuddling.

I had been stretched out with my legs on the part of the sectional that forms the 'l' but Elle had been stretched out in the opposite direction with her back against my side and chest. Neither of us had noticed at first that while she was drawing and I was working during the movie, my arm had gone around her to pull her closer.

When we did, I could feel her heart pick up and I knew mine was as well. I knew my body was also responding in a way that I wouldn't be able to control for much longer.

It killed me because I knew then I would need to stop. She had been drawing dragons that night. She drew one she was going to be getting and even that I was having a hard time with because of where she was getting it and just her whole outlook on tattoos in general. She was waiting until she earned them, she said. I tried to tell her that with everything that happened she more than earned them but she is stubborn and said when she became a member then she would get her 'stripes' as she called them.

I had asked to see her sketches and I already knew what I was going to do. I wanted something of hers and to mark this time together. Because whether we were ever going to be together I knew how I would always feel and how I felt in this moment. I got to be someone other than the hardass dick of a leader and just be Eric again. Not only that, but I got to see myself how she saw me every time she looked at me. It made me feel like it was all worth it. All the bullshit I put up with and the shit said about me, it was worth it because in her eyes I was worth something.

In the end I had her make me a dragon, similar to hers that would also become part of a shoulder piece made to look like armor. The head of the dragon I asked for right over the chest, where the heart would be. I didn't tell her my reasons, hell I wouldn't admit them to myself really. I could now. I loved her and there was no way I could be with her. Not right now. I would wait and give her time and space. I would wait and be her friend and hope that when she turned 18 I had any kind of a fucking chance.

Logan might be right and that she attracted attention but I couldn't do shit about it. Max and I had already talked about it and while he said that usually there wouldn't be problems….with Four there was bound to be shit raised.

Knowing I was going to be pulling away had driven me to be where I am right now. Having a tribute to her and her mother planted in the meadow near the cellar where she had secreted away all those she sacrificed to save. All those that both the Prior's had sacrificed to save. Elle had said that both Natalie and herself had loved purple hydrangeas. I had worked a deal out with Johana and got a full grown bush, then had them moved here to be planted.

Elle came here sometimes on her way home from school she said. Maybe this would bring her comfort and happiness. To see something nice and have good memories instead of the bad. I don't know why I am doing exactly, it is just important to me to do it. She will never know it what me but I am fine with that.

She isn't aware that half the shit that is done for her is done by me or my suggestions. Now I know what Emma means when she said that when you fall, you would do anything and be anything for the person you love. She is right, it kills me but I am willing to be Elle's friend because that is what she needs and all I can be.

"Is that all Sir?" Hayes asks me after shoveling the last of the dirt over the base of the flower bush.

I nod at him. "That's all. Catch the train back to Amity and resume your post. Remember you don't say shit about this or you get another year added to your time out at the fence."

Peter sighs but nods. "Sir, permission to speak freely?"

I want to growl but just nod. "Permission granted."

"I don't mind it. Being out there so you don't need to threaten me. I know I fucked up and deserve the shit I am handed. I can't make up for what my actions might have done. I almost killed her with my jealousy and was a coward for it. I also know that I will try every day of my life through performing my duty as best as I can no matter where I am. It isn't glamorous but none of the positions are. It just took me a lot longer to learn this and the really hard way. So if you need to keep me out there, then do it. I would like to work my way up in the ranks of fence guards if possible if that is the case. Not because I think it will get me shit for power but because maybe I can make a difference." Peter shrugged and held my eyes.

He was telling the truth. He really was sorry for his actions. He wasn't ever coming back to the compound that for was for certain, but if he was serious about working his way up in the ranks of the fence guards….

I sigh and nod. "You are up for review in three months right?"

Peter nods respectfully. "Sir, yes Sir."

"Well then keep your shit together and nose to the grind and we can talk then. You are going to miss your ride back so you better get going." I dismiss him. He nods briefly and motions for his fellow fence guard that had brought everything from Amity for me.

They gathered up their shit and ran for the train that was going to be rolling in soon.

With a sigh I picked up the box that had the other items I had arranged for. Elle loved fruit to make into desserts or for her breakfast. I had some brought in for her. I needed to get back to the compound and that put up at Logan's for her to have later. Again she wouldn't know I had gotten for her but it was fine. As long as she was happy.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait on the update. I was debating on keeping with Eric's POV or not. In the end I decided to stick with it for a bit longer at the very least. Thank you so much for those of you that have stuck with me while I am trying to get all of my stories edited and up to date. I will hopefully be sticking with this one to finish it out before I move on to one of my others but I have to go where the muse leads me.**

 **Also please if you would vote on the poll on my profile. It will help me decide what story to concentrate on from here.**

 **Chapter 15**

Tris had just finished up her proposal presentation to the Council and leaders and the floor was opened for questions or suggestions. I sat there listening to concerns about budget and money and felt my patience growing thinner and thinner.

"You talk as if this will cost us more when in reality it costs less." I bark out and interrupt the cackling of the hyenas in the council.

Everyone's eyes snap over to me and I stand with a scowl on my face. "Review the fucking figures she put in the proposal. The cost to train initiaties previously in such a short amount of time along with the added cost the council incurred for every dependent of choosing age to continue school in courses that were unnecessary far outweigh the cost projections for the time spent in the Academy. This way those dependents we know that will be choosing Dauntless still get only the necessary courses to complete their education but they also get the necessary training to succeed in our faction."

"Why should we change tried and true methods of training that have served us well since the establishment of the factions?" One of the internal Dauntless council members asked.

I worked to contain my temper at the idiocy of the question because obviously they hadn't been very 'tried and true' with the decline of members and initiates we even gotten each year.

I take a breath and see Max nod to me. "Tried and true? Ok, let's talk about that. On your proposal packet….the one Tris spent months preparing that you haven't even bothered to open, you will see the average amount of initiates we have received going back fifty years. You will also see a yearly census of our members. That isn't all though, you will see graphs of the jobs we are required for and the bodies we have to fill those jobs. Anyone seeing the trend here? Our faction is dwindling and fast. Especially over the last ten years. How 'tried and true' is that?"

I hold up a hand to stave off the next council member with their question because I already know what it is going to be.

"The next thing you are going to want to know is how will we know this method will even work? I have two points to make. There was new testing that allows for dependents to know where they are best suited. Those tests are showing more of them that can place in Dauntless than previously. Now the big factor here with those dependents is the that they know that there is no way they, who have never had to work out in their lives or do any kind of physical activity, can make themselves the soldiers we need and require in the given time we are allowed. So they don't choose us. Not because they wouldn't make great soldiers but because realistically they can't. Dauntless are brave, not suicidal. We aren't looking at bravery issues but the issue of knowing that we can't and aren't able to train our brothers and sisters to make sure we survive. All we are doing currently is setting ourselves up for failure and the the incident with the factionless and Erudite show this."

"Speaking of that incident." I say slowly and try not to look at Tris. She isn't going to love that I am doing this but it will help the proposal. It will also help Elle later on and that is my main reason for using her as the example.

"You want to know how to gauge if the academy and the longer periods of training that encompass more, will work. How about we take a look at the actions of Electra Prior? It is well documented within leadership that if not for the actions and quick thinking of Electra, that the death toll would have been severely higher than it had been. This was only possible because she had over a year of training to have those skills. That was a year of only a certain amount of hours a week or month. Nowhere near the amount of training the academy cadets will receive. Imagine all of our fresh initiates coming out of academy as capable as she was with just that amount of training. Imagine our fresh recruits coming out of training ready to go on patrol, security for the factions, knowing instantly everything they need to know about patrol sweeps. Not only that but coming out in set teams that have been working together and hit the ground running."

Max gave a nod saying that was enough so I resumed my seat and sat back to listen to the debate. By the end there was only a token resistance to the proposal and it was passed. Now it just needed to be presented to the Faction Council but after the incident most of leadership in all the councils had proposed an increase of security. This would help make that possible.

I sat in my office later on, door open and doing paperwork I saw a shadow standing in the doorway. From the short stature I can already guess who it is and I inwardly sigh, already having expected her to hunt me down.

"I guess you are here to yell at me for using your sister as the example that got your proposal approved? If you want me to say I am sorry or that I shouldn't have, you already know you are barking up the wrong tree Prior." I meet her eyes and say this all in my bland voice.

I have been trying to be less of a dick to Tris. In return she has been a bit more flexible in being able to work with. It seems we have a sort of truce between us. Can't say the same for fucking number boy.

I have hated distancing myself from Elle from what we had been at. It has been four months and sometimes I find myself just gravitating towards her any chance I get.

I must seem like such a dick with split personalities because when I realize I am doing it again I snap at her or people around me in my anger at myself. Then I will show up at her damn door with books for her just because I need to see her again.

We still message each other and I am grateful that we have at least that. It also makes it harder because talking to her at all makes me want to see her. I have reduced the amount of messages or interaction I have with her there too.

Apparently it isn't enough though because Four has been eyeing me more. Zeke has been his normal self but even he has made comments here or there. Mainly giving me updates on her.

Tris tilts her head before she sighs and shakes it. "No, I am not here to yell at you for using her as the example. I do have a question though. I am sure you are going to try and brush it away but I have to ask. Did you know that by putting her name forward you were also putting her as the main candidate for officer training, possibly leadership candidacy, during her time in Academy?"

Well fuck! Tris really doesn't show her Erudite side often so why the hell did she decide to be so damn observant now? My mind works to try and spin this as not personal but before I can even answer she gets this small shit eating grin.

"I guess that answers my question." Tris replies in a highly amused voice and then before I can respond to that either she is gone. I hear her little chuckle as she walks down the hall.

I really need to get better about hiding this shit. I run my hands through my hair and scowl at myself. Why should I hide it though? It isn't like I am completely obvious but at some point if I want Tris, the Pedrad's and even fucking Four to accept me if we do end up together they need to know. They at least need to be able to look back and put shit together that I have tried to be there for her how I could.

Four is going to be a problem and my biggest fucking worry. Not that he is going to cause shit for me but how he is going to react and treat Elle. I won't handle him hurting her in any way well at all.

Tris is usually able to rein him in though and if I can do enough to get her on my side…

I trail off and promise myself to put more thought into that later.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I told you not to fucking wait Eric. I told you we were in trouble with her and that she would become curious about dating sooner or later. Did you listen to me? No!" Logan growled out as he barged into my office.

My forehead furrows in a frown. It isn't hard to guess who is talking about. "What do you mean? What's going on?" I can feel my scowl start to form as I guess just by his tensed ready to strike posture and scowl.

"You aren't stupid, Coulter. Elle has a boyfriend and you will never guess who it fucking is." Logan starts pacing then he stops. "Just fucking get up and come with me. I need to be there but I am not sure I won't beat the little shit down anymore than Four will at this point."

He whirls around and then is out the door. I am not far behind him and as we head to the control room I have a sinking fucking suspicion of just who it is that Elle is with. I pray to all the gods I am wrong, but I know as soon as we enter and see Four and Tyler squaring off that I'm not.

I wanted her to get her bearings….maybe even explore….though I knew it was going to kill me to let her do that. I had almost hoped that since she had been here for almost a year already that maybe I wouldn't have to. Her birthday was so fucking close. But if she had to explore….it couldn't be with a worse fucking guy than him.

"Look Four, I care for Elle and I know how important her family is to her. Why don't we all have a little family dinner together?" Tyler says in a placating way but it is full his smug arrogance that just makes me want to throttle him.

That gets worse when he sees both Logan and I enter then gets the biggest fucking knowing smirk on his face. My eyes go deadly and Logan isn't that far behind me in mirroring that. Fucking punk. He knows and is just trying to rub shit in.

He wipes the look from his eyes as he pales and turns back to Four. I stand there listening as they bicker back and forth for a while. The whole time I feel like my fucking heart is being ripped out.

Apparently they had been caught on camera by someone in control on the roof and making out. That was how Four found out. In the end it had taken Tris, hearing the commotion, coming in and calming Four down before it was agreed they would all be having dinner together tomorrow in the dining hall.

By the end of it my jaw was stuck in it's gritted position and I swear my eye was twitching with how much rage I was suppressing at myself, Tyler and even Elle.

How could she fall for him? What the hell could she see in him that made him her choice? People thought I was dick! Tyler had that market cornered and then some. He was a fake player and not even that good of a Dauntless. He had barely made it through initiation and then there was the whole thing with his ex girlfriend. We could never prove he touched her but there were signs. Gods...what was I going to do if he did or was doing that to Elle? Why would she choose to be with someone like that?

Why did I wait?

FUCK!

I don't even remember leaving with Logan as we headed to his apartment.

We were barely in the door before the dam burst and I started to rage. I can't even count the number of holes I punched in his wall or what all I destroyed in his apartment. Logan just let me go at it. I couldn't be near anyone else because I would kill someone. I couldn't be left alone because I would go find Tyler and kill him. If I ran into Elle right now….I don't even know what I would do.

When I finally start to calm down, and Logan presses a glass of whiskey in my hand, I see I can't blame her.

I can be hurt. Fuck am I hurt! Hurt more than I could have ever believed possible and I hate it. I hate feeling hurt but I hate the thought of giving up on her, of giving up on us, more.

I sat on his couch, staring at the ceiling and sipping on my second glass of whiskey as thoughts just ran through my head.

"How did you do it Logan? How did you leave her and live with…..this fucking pain?" I ask quietly but shake my head until I turn it a little to look at him.

He sighs and looks into his glass. "I still ask myself that everyday, Eric. How did I do it? I don't know because honestly everyday I wake up without her feels like the day I left. It is different for me than for you though. You still have a shot with Elle. It sucks, I know, that she is with someone. But look at who it is and then think about Elle. You really think she is going to put up with his shit for long? Sooner or later he is going to show himself to her and she won't have it."

I can only scowl at that because that doesn't make me feel any better. That would be her first fucking relationship? With a guy that can't keep shit in his pants, treats women as his own personal prop, something to help him along in whatever he has his mind set on, or just something to control.

My forehead furrows and I look at him in thought. "What if we told…"

"Yeah….we don't want to do that." Logan snorts as he downs his glass of whiskey and shakes his head.

"You don't even know what…"

He interrupts me again. "Told Elle about his ex girlfriend or warned her about him? Not going to work Eric. If she is in a relationship with him…." he growls that last part out and winces "and it sounds like she is, then she won't hear a word against him from us. She knows how we all are. She is stubborn and wants to form her own opinions about people. She wouldn't and doesn't listen to a bad word said about you, Eric. She won't stand for it about Tyler either. I have a feeling if we did, it would make things worse and make her dig her heels in."

I sigh and close my eyes and groan because he is right. She is just so…

I love that she doesn't follow other's along blindly. She tries to see the person for who they are and gives them a chance. I am the biggest example of that. Of course if she is willing to do that for and with me, given my reputation and past with her family, then she would do that for Tyler.

"Are you going to go to the family dinner?" Logan asked a few minutes later.

I shouldn't but I know I will. "I can't sit at the same table. The others might be cool with me around at parties and other situations but I am likely to make it worse by sitting there with Four. I can't not be there either though I know I shouldn't. I don't know how I will react Logan. Seeing her with him and if they…." I trail off and shrug.

He nods. "Sit near the table we choose and you can gauge things for yourself."

I look to Logan and see he may be acting like he is handling this well, but I know him enough to know he is a mess over this. He knows Tyler well because he is over that department. He also knows more about the incident with his ex and a few of the other rumored girls as well.

Not to mention this is Elle. He couldn't be closer to her if she had been born to his own parents. Blood was the only thing that would say they weren't really brother and sister.

"How are you doing with this?" I ask seriously.

He snorts and shrugs. "Like I want to shove the shithead into the chasm and call it a job well done. Like maybe I should have just done that to begin with. Did you see his look when we both came back in? I wouldn't put it past him to partly be doing this, being with her, to get back at all of us. Tris, you and me; after his training incident. Not to mention that is just the type of thing he would do."

My hands tighten on the glass and I nod. "Well, I guess we'll just have to keep a better eye on things."

Logan sighs and groans. "If she finds out Eric, she is going to skin us alive. And then she will break out the knives."

I couldn't help the chuckle at that. She did a have a sharp tongue and a temper. Another thing I shouldn't find so damn sexy but did.

The destruction of his apartment finally registered for me and with groans we set about cleaning as much as we could before I could order someone from maintenance to come fix the walls.

It was a long night before I finally made it to my apartment and then I dreaded the next day.

When dinner time rolled around it was clear what table would be the family dinner table. Logan and Tris had glared anyone away that tried to sit at the same table at all that wasn't apart of the main group.

I take a place so that I can see them when they come in and then somehow the only places available will give me a clear view of them too. Funny enough the two will be sitting between Logan and Four. I think Tris might have arranged that little placement.

I instantly go tense when they enter. They are just holding hands but even that is enough to have my jaw clenching.

Elle grimaces when she sees the full table and where the two seats set aside for them are situated.

I shouldn't be staring, so locked on like I am. I can't help it. It is killing me but I can't fucking turn away.

Not even when he leans in to kiss her. It feels like I was kicked in the balls and took a direct punch to the heart at the same time. I also feel rage but I can't stop watching her and what I see has me hopeful. Smug even.

He kisses her and it might as well be like she is kissing nothing. There is that much feeling coming from her. When Tyler moves away she stands there frowning after him. It is a small frown and one I can tell she is trying to mask but I can see it. She didn't feel anything.

I couldn't help the smirk that started to spread across my face the minute they pulled away. When Elle looked in my direction and our eyes met; I shouldn't feel so damn good about what I see there the minute I catch her looking at me. That look she always gives me is still there. She still might not understand it. Hell I can pretty much guarantee she doesn't really understand it but at least it is still there and I still have a chance.

"Take a picture why don't you." Jason chuckles, drawing my attention to him and I break my gaze away from her finally.

Max quirks an eye at me and then looks over to Tyler and Elle with a scowl. "When the hell did that happen?"

I sigh and push the food around on my plate. "I don't know. Logan and I just found out about it last night."

Max looks at the table in front of us and it dawns on him what the conglomeration of Pedrad's along with the others is about.

"A family dinner? Really?" Max chuckles and looks to me. Probably wondering why I am not over there.

"It is better all around if I stay right here." I grit out at the thought of not only having to keep away but the entire situation.

He nods understanding and distracts Jason with a few questions as he sees Elle and Tyler taking their seat.

During the dinner I catch bits and pieces of the conversation. I mainly watch the two of them and Elle. How is that she can be wearing something so simple and be so stunning to me. She has her hair in that braid she seems to love along with the tank top that has the image of the dragon she will get tattooed on her. It isn't fancy, not revealing but everything about it has me feeling pulled to her even more.

The only thing that makes watching Tyler being pressed up against Elle bearable are the moments she casts her eyes to look at me. I wonder if she even knows how much she does it. It is like her just looking to reassure herself I am still there.

Not a chance I am going anywhere, Elle. Though I might want to eviscerate your soon to be ex boyfriend sooner rather than later.

I know that the dinner is winding down when they move on to cake. I realize I have been picking at my dinner and Max is looking at me amused.

Logan goes into securing plans with Elle for the weekend. I miss being able to join them on those runs to Amity. Hearing about it just reminds me how much I lost when I pulled back. Her birthday can't come soon enough.

Amity and her birthday give me an idea. I will need to talk to Logan about it. He will need to be the one to suggest it because it can't be seen coming from me.

"Elle, are we going to go for our run tomorrow morning? I was thinking if you wanted we could even maybe make a trip to Amity. Johana would be happy to see you and I need to arrange for some supplies anyways." Logan said as he started eating some cake at the end of dinner.

Elle got that head tilt and the calculating look that always sent warmth through me. What didn't about her at this point?

"Yeah, that is fine. I promised Lynn, Mar, Shauna and Lauren that I would do girl shit that night. I think they want to go dancing. So long as we are back with enough time for me to brace myself for that we should be fine." She smirks over at the girls and I groan.

Well that is one thing I will need to make sure to stay far the fuck away from. I wouldn't be able to handle the sight of her dancing and not joining her. That would not be a good scenario.

Mar snorted and shook her head. "You aren't quite as bad about not wanting to get dressed up as Tris but you are pretty bad. You know you love the dancing part though."

She smiles and laughs before she gives a small shrug of her shoulders. I can see something dancing behind her eyes though. "Yeah that part I am good with. It is the hours you guys want to spend trying to get ready that I don't understand. How does it take you guys more than thirty minutes to get ready? I mean...why? You guys are already gorgeous even without all the war paint. Although war paint would be kind of fun to go in. You know how the Gaul warriors did theirs right?"

She is blushing even as she gets the last words out and now I know what was dancing behind her eyes just seconds ago. I don't know what Tyler says as he leans in to whisper in her ear. I don't think I want to know but I can guess because I am feeling something of the same way myself.

Four clears his throat as Elle turns even redder and elbows Tyler. "Why do I get the feeling I don't want to know exactly how they wore their makeup?"

Logan snorts into his cup. "Because you don't Four. Your mind will melt at the thought of it and then it coming from Elle…." He trails off with a shrug.

Uri and Zeke though grin. "We want to know." They say in unison and then start trying to pinch each other because of the jinx factor.

I can see that mischievousness in her eyes again as she prepares to answer. While I know the answer I wonder what it is going to do to me to hear it coming from her.

A smirk forms on her lips and she looks to her sister and Four and I already know she is just messing with them hard.

"Gaul and Celtic warriors usually wore some type of paint but all over their bodies in battle. And that was it. Even the women. They believed in fighting balls and tits out. Literally."

Her smirk gets wider when Four chokes on his drink and Tris joins him as she turns bright red.

The answer and just everything about her in general floods me with desire. I love that she has such a wicked sense of humor and goes about it the most intelligent of ways at times. I can't even help that it must be showing when she looks up.

He breath catching as her eyes meet mine just increases it. I can almost see her pulse picking up and I know I need to calm myself down. Especially when Tyler casts a look to me. So I shake my head, lips twitching in amusement not only Elle but also the look of jealousy that flashed in Tyler's eyes as he looked between Elle and I.

He would be stupid not to see the difference between how she looks or reacts to me and then how she reacts to him. I shouldn't feel smug about it because he is the one sitting there with her and I am over here, having to keep myself at arms length from her.

He must realize that too because he gets a smirk and I looked to my tray as I shake my head and count under my breath.

Logan finally comes over to the table and lets out his own breath in a sigh. I look over to him and we exchange looks. Neither of us really feel better about things after the dinner. I feel better knowing that there still might be a chance with Elle based on her looks to me.

"I was kind of hoping Four would snap and take him out." Logan mumbles to me and I can't help but snort in agreement.

I sigh as I look up at them a little. "Did you see how she is with him?"

Logan nods and his lips thin. "Makes me wonder why she is even with him really. It isn't like Elle but then again this is new for her."

I nod and we catch bits of Tyler saying something to Elle that have both of our fists clenching.

"Elle, don't stay out too long. You also better text me when you get in. I don't want to have to go looking for you." His tone is one that we had both heard before but that it is directed at Elle has me seeing red.

I don't even notice her own reaction or words until Logan elbows me to get my attention. When I look up I see that fire in her eyes, the one that had first captivated me. Her spine is straight and her chin is up as she looks at him with that hard gaze.

"Ty, what have we been talking about that? I don't mind letting you know I am ok but you don't get to tell me what to do." Her voice is soft but firm. As if she is trying to keep this private and not wanting anyone to hear or see what is going on.

Tyler's move over her and I can see his jaw clenching. I know his is debating something but whatever it is he changes his mind quickly when he takes in our table. Even Max is watching and is glaring at him.

He shrugs and smirks at her. "Ok babe. I might just end up crashing the party then at some point."

Elle rolls her eyes and nods. "I am sure you will Ty."

He leans in to give her a kiss then nods to everyone before he leaves with a wink. I want to be happy she stood up for herself but she also gave in way to fucking easy as well.

She watches him leave with a frown and I can't tell what she is thinking.

I shake my head and look to Logan. "For sure keep an eye on this shit Logan."

He doesn't even balk at my order. Max nods his agreement and adds in that he wants to be updated on it as well.

We listen a little to Zeke and Elle talking about how they met and how long they have been together. I try not to feel like my heart was torn out when I hear that they have been together for at least four months. The only thing that makes me feel better is when one of the girls asks if they had done anything.

Elle's answer and reaction makes me feel better, that is until Zeke gets upset when his niece references that they had four months of some kind of acts of intimacy.

"I don't want to hear what there was four months of Zaria!" Zeke growls and turns to Zaria. "Leave the subject alone before I decide I am going to go pull the fuckers spine from his body."

Zeke gets up and storms off and though I know how he feels, times a thousand I know the second I see Elle's face what is about to happen and I am already cursing under my breath.

"Ok, what the fuck guys? I mean, I know he can be a cocky dick but what is with all the animosity towards Tyler? He is fucking trying here. He was even respectful enough to ask for this shit show you guys put on tonight. But you guys have been nothing but a bunch of fucking asses to him the entire night and even before then. You know what!"

With those three words I am growling because the worst that could have happened with Elle is coming and I know it.

"I am with Tyler now and you guys are just going to have to deal with it. Al everyone is doing right now is pissing me the fuck of. I don't try and tell you who to date Zaria. Even when the dudes are complete shitheads I stick by your side and support you when you need it." Her voice is that steel that she had used on me when she was holding the gun and staring me down.

I saw it in her eyes that they had just made this so much worse. She might have gotten tired of Tyler's commanding and demanding ways and called it off. But giver her someone to have to defend and of course she was going to dig in her heels.

She looks down at her tray scowling. "Fuck it. I am going to go skateboarding or going to go hit shit again."

With that she grabs her bag and tray then storms out of the dining hall. The girls all try and call her back but she doesn't even look back.

"Fucking perfect!" Logan growls out and scowls over at the other table. "We almost made it through the dinner completely without that shit happening guys."

Shauna looks back at our table and looks stricken and upset. "It was going to happen regardless Logan. Are we supposed to hide how much we hate how this is changing her or how unhappy she is?"

My back snaps and my eyes glare at her and the other girls that have turned to look back at Logan. "What do you mean she is unhappy?"

My eyes go to Zaria instantly who is looking at her hands and shakes her head. "I have already done enough damage for the night. I am out of this conversation."

With that she gets up and walks off to looking distraught.

Logan sighs and runs a hand over his face. "I will talk to her, or try to anyways. Without setting her off more. It will have to wait for her to cool off though."

Mar sighs and looks to Logan with a nod. "Well at least we know that there is one step she hasn't taken."

My relief at that was short lived because not even a month later it seemed that Elle was practically living at Tyler's. It also wasn't hard to know when they had finally become intimate but the looks and smug comments Tyler let slip anytime I was in the control room or encountered him.

I shouldn't have let that affect how I treated or was around Elle but I did. I couldn't help how much it hurt and I couldn't help that hurt coming out as anger or coldness to her.

Regardless how I was acting on the outside, regardless how I felt, I never stopped doing what I could for her behind the scenes. A few days after the family dinner Logan and I got together to try and start putting a plan together for her birthday. I would help where I could but he and Tris would be the main people planning.

It was also being used as a retreat of sorts before Academy started. We all knew we would need the time off before that started especially after the meetings, plannings, and various other stages we would need to be cooped up in conference rooms for.

At least all of this kept me busy and away from Elle mostly. As it always happens with her, she found a way to get to me even there.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Here is another chapter from Eric's POV. I have decided to continue up until they leave for Academy at the very least. I hope everyone enjoys. There are few funny moments in it I think.**

 **Chapter 16**

 _Eric's POV_

It was just over one month before Academy was scheduled to start. I was tired from the long meetings that we had just started to have the last few days. I hadn't even had time to get coffee this morning because I had to sit on a few conference calls with Erudite before I trudged my way to the conference room to begin another long day of hashing out details for everything that would be needed to make this thing successful.

I was just walking to my office and going to enter in my code when I noticed the door was slightly opened. I was already irritated and now I had to deal with someone barging into my office.

The scowl was on my face in full force as I pushed the door open with more force than was probably necessary.

My eyes widened and the scowl deepened when I was greeted with the sight of Elle squatted on the other side of my desk, doing something with files in her hands.

"What the fuck are you doing in my office, Stiff?" I couldn't help the angry tone that escaped me. This was my refuge from her now and here she fucking was invading it.

She had jumped and whirled to face me. At first she looked startled but then at my tone and use of the slur her face hardened. I saw the look of hurt flash through her eyes before she looked down and masked it.

She moved over to the desk and for the first time I took everything in. On my desk was a box with a cup beside it. It looks to be coffee and the box was probably food. My desk was straightened up and I would bet anything she had just been filing papers I hadn't the chance to get to yet.

She knew my system enough to know which ones would be ready for that. Before I had pulled away completely she had been in here helping often, sometimes just sitting in the chair across from mine, reading and keeping me company.

"I am sorry Sir." She said in clipped tones. I knew she was working to not let her hurt make her disrespectful to me.

I had stopped calling her Elle or my nickname for her when I knew she had gone that final step with Tyler. In return she stopped calling me Eric.

It had killed me but yet I still couldn't forgive myself for allowing her the opportunity to even be that way with someone else. I also couldn't help the jealousy that was eating away at me or the worry for how much she was changing, how unhappy she was looking lately.

I felt helpless and pissed. So I took it out on her.

"You didn't answer the question. What are you doing in my office?" I move closer to her, towering over her as I put my bag and things on my desk.

I never take my eyes off of her the entire time.

She looks up to me and I know I have hurt her, pissed her off and confused her. I also know that it relieves me that even with all of that she hasn't lost that look in her eye for me.

How is that I can be the worst possible person to her and she still manages to look at me like I am not the asshole I am? Why is that when she looks at me, even with all of my damn attitude and anger, I feel like she sees the real me?

Elle sighs and shrugs. "I apologize I didn't ask you personally but I did ask Max if I could leave what I brought everyone in your office. He told me you wouldn't be in the conference room with everyone. He opened the door for me after I asked. I know that you gave me the code….it just didn't feel right without asking first."

It didn't feel right because I had been nothing but cold to her and pulled back. Those words at the end let on to how much it was affecting her too.

My scowl lessened as I took in what was on the table and her demeanor. "I'm sorry I yelled. I wasn't expecting to find anyone in my office and I haven't had my coffee yet." I grumble and sigh as I run a hand over my face.

She nods and looks over her shoulder to where what she brought rests on my desk. "I brought all of the leaders coffee and a few things I made for breakfast since the Dining hall wouldn't have any real food for a while. It isn't fancy because I do need to leave to get to school but I hope it helps everyone. I will just leave you to your day, Sir."

She goes to pick up her bag that I just noticed and I stop her with a hand to her shoulder. The contact is the first we have had in forever and we both jerk slightly.

I don't trust myself to say anything long or to keep touching her so I drop my hand quickly and mutter a thank you out.

She gives a nod and moves away quickly. It takes a moment for me to move from the spot I became rooted to after she left. I had been afraid I might go after her if I so much as shifted my legs. When I was finally sure she was gone and I wouldn't run after her I moved to my chair and sat down.

The box contained an almost full breakfast. Some kind of omelette, toast, and bacon. She also included what was most likely her own homemade muffins. These looked to be blueberry ones.

I sighed and put my head in my hands and cursed myself for being such a dick when all she was doing was what I had wanted her to do. I just didn't count on it hurting so fucking much or that I could hurt that way for someone.

I know that if I still want to ever have a shot with her I need to do something. I can't keep being a dick to her.

With a sigh I put aside the muffins for later, as I drink from the coffee and pull up the files I will need for my conference calls. The thoughts of her actions, not only going out her way to bring me food, but tidying my desk, filing my papers….it brings a smile to my face. It also makes me feel that happiness that only she has been able to bring me. I know then that as much as I am hurting there is no way I am giving up on her.

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"Alright guys, let's try and get as much of this shit done tonight as we can. I would like to make it home at a decent hour if at all possible." Max grumbles to the leaders, senior members and instructors gathered around the large conference table.

This was the third night in a row that the preparation meetings were running well past dinner. I never thought I would say I missed just being able to go to the damn dining hall and grab some food but I sure as hell am feeling that way right now.

I haven't even been able to get in training to help release the tension building up from overseeing all of this shit with Tris. I knew it was going to be hell to get off the ground and running. I guess I just underestimated how much hell we were in for.

We had just started going over the campus building inspection list when there was a muffled curse and then thumping on the door as if someone was knocking on it with an elbow or something.

Max and Tris snickered as Harrison stood to make his way and opened the door for whoever it was at it. "Well, look who it is." He smirked as he stepped back to allow first a large box through, then the arms and body of Elle who was huffing but smiling at the same time.

I am up and out of my chair taking the huge box from her with a frown on my face before I have the thought form. She blushes and smiles a little at me, then hugs her sister back when Tris had moved to embrace her.

"Elle, you didn't have to do this. We would have been fine with waiting or sending someone to see what might be left in the dining hall later." Tris said but was smiling softly at her sister.

Elle snorted and shook her head. "There would have been nothing left that could be considered edible and I don't mind. There should be enough there for everyone and even seconds. I also added in some snacks in case you guys ran late again. I have to go. I need to get back to a project I have been working on."

Max looked across at me still holding the box and standing there like an idiot. He chuckles before he motions to the table to me but looks back to Elle. "I second your sisters sentiment but thank you all the same. I wasn't looking forward to eating sandwiches again for the second night in row."

Elle shrugs and looks at me as I had moved to put the box down on the table. "Well, I hope you like it."

Before I can respond to her blush or look at me as if she was nervous for my answer she was out of the door after waving to everyone.

"Well, what did my sister bring us this time?" Tris asked and I could tell several people were eager after getting a whiff of the smells coming from the box.

They finally hit me too. I opened the box only to sit there staring in it for a moment as a smile started to cross my face. Probably making me look even more like an idiot but I didn't care. Jesus the things this girl made me feel and usually without even fucking trying!

Now I knew what her look to me as she said she hoped I liked it meant. It was Mexican food, my favorite. Something I had mentioned once when the subject came up. She had not only made food for everyone she had made it one of my favorite meals.

A cough sounded beside me and I looked to see Max suppressing laughter. "Umm...it's Mexican food." I finally got out, grin still in place.

Jason clapped his hands together in anticipation and laughed. "Well, let's break it out. I am starving and that smells way too good to just let it be stared at."

I roll my eyes at his knowing fucking smirk at me then start pulling things out with Tris who is barely repressing her amusement at my reaction.

"Shut it, Prior." I mumble to her lowly. But it has no power behind it because I still can't get rid of the damn smile on my face.

This only caused her to laugh. I couldn't even get pissed at her because I was too busy digging into my plate that I had made up and made sure I was the first.

As I was eating and listening to the reports for the building conditions of the dorms and where the leaders in charge would be staying, something struck me.

It didn't wipe the smile completely from me but I did frown in thought. There was entirely too much food here and it was all homemade. I know Tris wouldn't have been able to help so who was helping Elle with all of this?

She hadn't done dinner before, just the lunches and breakfasts so far. I would corner Tris and find out if she knew who was helping her but I had a feeling that Elle was doing all of this by herself.

That would stop if I could help it.

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I heard music blaring in the apartment that Elle shared with her sister and Four. I had to bang on the door a bit harder the second time for it to even be heard.

I was rewarded with the sound of music being lowered and then what sounded like the pattering of bare feet on the floor.

"I'm sorry. Was it too lo…" Elle had thrown open the door, looking flushed and guilty of something.

She stopped speaking when she saw me and her eyes went a little wide.

I shook my head, to deny her question but also to clear it. Why was I here again? Oh yeah….to help her make the dinners she was insisting on making for leadership and alone.

Maybe that isn't such a good idea….I think to myself as I take her in. Crop top t-shirt, shorts that go to mid thigh, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She has streaks of something on her cheek that just want to pull her to me and see if I can taste what it is.

Keep it cool Eric, dammit.

"No, it wasn't too loud Stiff. This _is_ Dauntless, remember." My tone isn't harsh or as cold as it had been. I still can't bring myself to use her name right now or she will hear the absolute longing I have for her.

She gives me a small smile and nods. "Was there something you needed, Sir? I am sure you know Tris is still in her office. I am surprised you aren't with the other leaders right now."

I quirk an eyebrow and clear my throat. "Can I come in?"

She bites her lip in thought but moves aside to let me pass. It always surprises me when I come into this apartment. Which hasn't been often lately. It surprises me because of the changes that I can see Elle has brought to life in general for even Four and her sister.

The apartment that Four and Tris shared had been a studio and was free of any kind of unnecessary things. It looked as if they were both still in Abnegation to be honest. I had to tour it with Harrison to see if it was going to work for Elle.

This apartment was different because I could see Elle's touches everywhere. There was artwork on the walls now. One wall was done in a series of geometrical shapes….chevrons.

There were flowers scattered around in little arrangements, curtains made of fabric and hand painted images on it that I am sure Elle created. Even though I saw her everywhere I could see she did it all to suit her sister and Four.

I wondered what her room looked like and that stray thought had me feeling like a damn teenager wondering about sneaking into a girls room at night.

"I came to help you with getting dinner together for the leaders. Tris said you have been doing it by yourself and there is no reason you should have to do that." My tone got a bit angry at the end because at least one of her friends should be helping. She had been doing the dinners for the last three days already, along with breakfasts and lunches. How she was getting it all done was beyond me but if I could help I was going to do it.

Elle frowned and I could tell she was about to reject my offer so I gave her my commanding look as I started to take off my jacket. "So what's on the menu for tonight?"

She smirked at me a little and laughed. "I was making one of my favorites just so I could try out some new recipes. See, I am not being completely selfless because you all get to be my guinea pigs."

Her tone, playful and warm, reminds me so much of when I allowed us to be like that with each other. I can't help but smile back at her and shake my head.

"If it gets cooking like what we have been spoiled with lately then I don't mind being your guinea pig anytime." My tone goes a lot deeper than I meant it to go. I was trying to keep this friendly if not more professional.

She blushes and I see her breath hitch a little before she recovers and flashes a smile at me. "Well then you can help me make the lasagna. I was just finishing roasting the tomatoes and other things to go in the sauce. Hope you don't mind open flames."

With that she led me into the kitchen where I saw the assembly line and layout she had before her.

It might look like chaos but I saw the order behind how she had everything set up. This was how she was doing it all by herself and in time to get it to us for dinner. There were still quite a few hours before then. I had thought it might take that entire time to get everything done but it looked like we might get done rather quickly which sent disappointment through me.

I was wrong about it being done too quickly. The lasagna needed time to cook and then she had other dishes she made to go along with it. A few were cold pasta salads and then we tried our hand at making homemade mozzarella.

I enjoyed every damn second of it if only because I was getting to spend time with Elle again. We worked well together and that pleased me but so many things about her did.

She did keep getting texts that I knew were from Tyler just by her face and mood when she got one. She was so apparently unhappy and it was killing me wondering why she was staying with him.

I should have left because by the fifth message and dip in her mood, my own had turned more sour. My voice went back to the cold way it had been. I was at least successful in not being such a dick to her but it was obvious there was a shift in mood for us both.

I didn't leave. I stayed until it was time to pack everything up and take it to the conference room. I carried the bigger box while Elle carried two smaller ones.

She also had her school bag over shoulders and I assumed she was going off to do some project at school again.

"Thank you for your help, Sir." Elle said as we walked up to the conference door. "I enjoyed it."

She got that out with a small sad smile that she quickly wiped away and opened the door.

She went in first and I followed with a frown and a heavy heart because it was registering for me how much she must be hurting too.

She was a whirl in the room before she was gone quickly and I was left to my thoughts again. At least no one looked to be teasing me this time, probably sensing my deepening foul mood.

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The day of Elle's birthday dawned and I hadn't really slept for shit. She had been staying with Tyler the past week and I had to listen to Logan grumbling about it. The bright light was that in two days she would be away from the dick. Knowing Elle though that wouldn't mean shit unless she decided to call things off between now and then. I almost contemplated not going to what we had planned.

I dismissed the thought as soon as it entered my mind. I was up early to get some things taken care of, pack my own stuff to be sent over to the living quarters I would be staying at for the next several months and then to leave to pick up Caleb.

I had arranged to be able to get a transport to take her brother and I from Erudite to Amity and then it would be picking him up again after the stay. He had said he knew how to get on and off the trains but I hadn't wanted to risk it.

It was so early that the compound was quiet in a way that felt like it was some kind of sleeping giant. I round the corner at the same time as someone else and we collide with each other.

As soon as the body hits mine and her unmistakable smell hits me my arms are going out to catch her as she bounces back.

Elle's eyes snap to mine in surprise as she lets out a little gasp. She didn't do it when she hit me, it was when my hands went to catch her. Not surprising because I was hit with jolts immediately as well.

I shouldn't be surprised to see her up so damn early. It seemed she was on the same internal clock I am on. I can only look at her in amusement at her expression but also to mask how touching her is making me feel.

As I take her in I also take in where she was exiting from. I want to growl and snarl at what that most likely means. I am trying very hard to not do that now but I can't help my expression from going hard.

"Elle." I try to greet her evenly. I should let go of her but I can't. It is like my body and mind have said enough. We have waited and today as far as her being off limits, it is no longer a factor for age.

Every other aspect hasn't changed a damn bit but I just can't help holding onto her a bit longer.

As soon as my demeanor hardens so does hers. I shouldn't find that so damn sexy. That she can stand up to me with all of that fire but still be respectful. I shouldn't but I always have.

"Sir." She greets me back in her now more formal tone.

I hate it. I hate everything about this and the way we are right now. I hate that she can't and won't call me Eric anymore and that it is all my fault.

My jaw clenches at that as I pull her closer, like I am afraid she is going to run away from me. Not that my Elle could or ever would, but it is a fear I have been developing lately with how awful I have been to her.

"Where are you headed from so early in the morning, Elle?" I ask but I already know the answer. It is only confirmed by her sigh and the look in her eyes, but she doesn't say it. She doesn't need to and I almost think she can't, not to me.

"Where are you going now?" I try and move us from that line of thought. I still haven't let her go and I honestly don't know if I can at this point.

She shrugs and gives me a small sleepy smile. "Coffee would be the first stop. Then I promised Logan I would meet him to spend the day with him. He has something planned but I have no clue what."

My glare lessens at her words and look. She seriously has no clue that we wouldn't want to celebrate her birthday. Then again she has gone seventeen years not celebrating it before so that shouldn't be surprising.

At least I can be there to celebrate her first birthday and a big one at that.

I was already going to get coffee and it happens to be the same place she goes. What the hell.

"Mind if I join you for coffee then?" I ask with a slightly softened tone and look still.

She doesn't answer vocally. She just nods to me. I don't let her go completely as I move us to start walking again. My hand went to the small of her back as we walk.

It reminds me of the day we met. Almost exactly like it, because once again she moves into my side and I don't think she even knows she has done it.

"Do you know where I get my coffee from?" She turns her head to ask me as we are heading to the coffee shop we both go to. Her eyebrow is quirked and her tone is confused.

I shrug and smirk at her. "I am guessing you go to the shop on the second floor. The one by the place you sell your clothing designs too?"

I realize _after_ I have said this that it might sound like I am a damn stalker. I'm not….really. I am just hyper fucking aware of Elle and everything she does because I can't escape her it seems. Technically this coffee shop was mine before hers.

I realize I am trying way too damn hard to justify my knowledge of what she likes and doesn't but she brings me out of those reflections when she shrugs after giving me a look of surprise.

"Yeah, they have the best coffee and I can sit there and draw. They also make some pretty decent pastries."

I nod and debate just telling her that I have been coming to the shop for a while. That I know she gets her coffee here because I often see her there absorbed in her drawings or books. Sometimes she is just leaving when I am arriving. I could tell her all of this but I don't.

The shop girl, I don't even know her name though I probably should by now, starts on both of our orders immediately. She smiles widely at Elle but keeps shooting me little disapproving looks as my hand is still on Elle's back.

I can't help the scowl I send her way at that. She just needs to mind her damn business.

"We made some of those chocolate chip muffins fresh this morning, Elle. Want one of those and your yogurt with fruit?" The girl asks her with this bubbly happy air.

Elle laughs a little and smiles, looking just like her brother for a moment with his lopsided smile. "Like I am going to say no to one of those. Yes please. But can you make sure to add the flaxseed and protein powder to the yogurt for me? I still need to at least try to make some healthy decisions."

The girls laughs in return and nods. "Yeah we can do that." She clears her throat and looks to me. I can tell she doesn't know if she should ask if I want something else. I normally don't get anything but coffee. I shouldn't stay but I am not going to turn down getting to spend more quiet time with Elle.

"Will there be anything for you Sir?" I can tell she is hoping I say no.

"I'll have the same." I shrug and try to make sure to keep my amusement at her obvious discomfort from my tone.

My answer surprises her and she looks from Elle to me but then quickly moves off when I glare at her. Elle does end up moving away from me when she gets her coffee.

She heads to the normal table she is at when I see her. I grab my coffee and instead of sitting somewhere else, I move close to her. She has to scoot over to make room for me.

When I do sit, because I am enough of a dick, I let my arm brush against hers. Yes I know it causes reactions in her but it does me too and I am taking what I can get here. It still doesn't fail to please me when I feel her shiver and I fail to mask the smirk I get at that.

Neither of us say anything about that or how close I am. She takes out her sketchpad and tablet as I take out my own tablet.

We both start sipping our coffee, waiting for our food and doing different things. I make sure that the few meetings I have at Erudite about some items they are making ready for Academy, are still set.

Academy reminds me of something I can talk to Elle about safely. "Are you ready for Academy?"

She nods after she puts down her tablet then picks up her sketchbook. "Yes Sir. I just got all the required gear over the last couple of days. Logan was pretty adamant he be the one to take me get everything. Tris didn't mind but it was an argument with Four."

I can't help the snort that escaped me as I roll my eyes. "What isn't an argument with Number Boy?"

Elle shrugs and sighs at the same time. I know it must annoy her that we don't get along, but I can't take all the blame there. "He just wants to make sure I am prepared. The same as Logan, Zeke and Uri. I know they don't like the thought that I won't be sleeping in the compound but I know that the single instructors are staying on the grounds."

I can't help the smirk that comes over me. Yeah the instructors would be but so would I. Tris too but I had really only cared that I would be there to be honest. "Instructors and a few leaders will be staying on grounds for the duration. This is the first year and it needs to be watched carefully."

It needs to be watched but so do you. Dammit! I am a damn stalker and I don't even fucking care at this point.

At first Elle gives no reaction to my statement. The girl had brought our food out and Elle picked up her muffin. As she is peeling the wrapper from it I see this smile sneaking its way across her face. She gives a little shake of her head and then finally answers my statement.

"I can understand that. Security will probably be a focus to see where the holes are in keeping those that don't need to be there out but also the cadets in line." She says this all with that calculating and appraising look again.

I can't help but feel proud, just like I do anytime with her, when she picks up things like that. It also makes me feel better that I know she is the right choice for the leadership candidacy. Her ability to see these angles are what will help the faction become stronger. It isn't all because I just want and need her with me.

"True. But then there is the factor of just making sure that there is a leader presence there." I take a bite of my food then look back to her. "I am sure you are ready to be done with most of those classes at school."

My thoughts are on all of the stupid unnecessary classes they make last year students sit through. I wish I would have had the chance to get out of those and into the classes we have set up instead. I am looking forward to seeing what the result of our initiates being able to have them will be.

I am broken from my own reflections after my question by Elle's little sigh and smile of pleasure after she takes a bite of her muffin. I think I do pretty good at keeping the desire that floods me at that off of my face but not the amusement that she can enjoy and relish such a simple thing.

She looks at me and swallows, and not because she had food in her mouth so I guess I must not have hid my look very well. Then she gives a little shrug. "For the most part. I was going to be sad to part with one teacher who I have become really close to but she told me that she will be teaching there. I am really happy about that part."

I tilt my head and frown wondering who it could be. There are several teachers we were bringing over but there weren't many I could see Elle becoming close with. "What teacher is that? There are a few that we pulled from the school that will be teaching."

Elle's face transforms with affection in her smile. "Emma….I mean Mrs. Olson. She handles several subjects at the school but she also taught me several on her own. She honestly became like a sister to me over the last few years."

I struggled hard to keep the feeling of absolute pleasure that the girl I love is basically saying my sister is like a sister to her. I try so damn hard as I swallow and scrunch my forehead up to hold back the smile I want to break into. I pick up my coffee to hide my expression because I know I am letting something show. "That's good. She is a damn good teacher. She had mentioned a favorite student once or twice just not who it was. What has she taught you on her own time?"

There is a shift in Elle that I can't pinpoint as she picks up her sketchpad and starts to work on something. I am still trying to gather myself. So I can't really dissect it at the moment.

"Well languages for the start. French, Latin, Spanish and I finished Japanese. We also worked on advanced physics, nuclear science, electrical engineering. Several things tech involved. I have a strong pull to that and weapons development and we worked on that."

I nod as I sit drinking my coffee. I wonder if I should ask Emma if she wants to come. It would solve two problems for me. Getting Logan and Emma together so maybe they can work towards some kind of resolution. They are both miserable but playing at being ok and happy with their work.

It would also bring Emma to Elle and if she does mean that much to her it would make Elle happy. I could also see my sister and Elle together, even if it wouldn't be me introducing them how I would want to be. It was better than nothing. To have the two women that mean the fucking world to me together.

Elle's phone starts going off at rapid fire and I can't even help looking at the messages. I am not liking what I am seeing at all and I don't care that I basically just invaded her privacy.

All she does is frown and roll her eyes when she responds and it drives me crazy.

"Is there a problem Elle?" I can't help but to ask. I have to ask and see if she realizes that there is a fucking problem with how he is talking to her. My hands are clenched with how much I am trying to stop myself from going back to that cold tone I have been using with her lately.

She shakes her head negatively and I push back the growl. "No. Tyler is just not exactly handling my going away well. He will be fine though." She sighs that last part and I can tell even she doesn't believe what she is saying.

It is such a resigned and weary sigh and it is making me want to go beat the shithead into the ground. I want her to show me that fire she has, that I know she is capable of, and handle this. To take the situation in hand just like she did the attack and handle it herself. I want her to be able to walk away from that and him on her own but I don't think it is going to happen. She is so fucking stubborn and is most likely convincing herself there is no problem.

"What exactly is he doing?" I demand from her. I want to hear her deny that he is doing anything to her.

She shrugs and my teeth grit. "Being Tyler. Bossy and demanding. Normally I would be throwing it back in his face and telling him I don't put up with that. It just isn't worth the argument today and I will be busy with Logan. I would rather just enjoy my day."

As she was talking I had moved closer. I could hear the tiredness in her but I also heard that spark of fire still there in her voice. She wasn't in complete denial of what Tyler was doing but enough to still be putting up with his shit.

"At least you haven't lost it all, Lioness." I mutter under my breath as I cast my mind for ways that I can make Tyler back off Elle at least for today. I can't make her end things and I can't interfere that way. I can make his workday fucking hell though.

I get a wicked grin as I pick up my tablet and start sending messages to Harrison and Jason for their help in keeping Samuels as busy as fucking possible all weekend. I am sure they will take pleasure in sending him on some of the crappiest jobs possible.

We don't speak again after I get those messages off. We just sit close, eating and drinking our coffees. I do end up messaging Emma to see if she is free for the weekend and if I can meet with her while I am at Erudite.

Logan finally makes his way to the shop after he had told me in a message that he would join us there. She had apparently messaged him when we first got here too.

I could tell by his smug look at the two of us that he is going to start in on things. Logan has been as impatient for the day as I have. I also know it isn't the time for it.

"What are you planning Logan?" Elle calls out to him with narrowed as he walks over to us with a big smirk on his face.

"Morning to you too, Elle." He takes a seat and sips his coffee, smirk still in place.

Elle scoffs at him and shakes her head. "Morning Logan. Now what are you up to?"

Logan shrugs and with that damn smirk, looks between Elle and I. "Can't a guy just be happy to see his little sister and best friend? And together no less?"

I can't help the scowl that crosses my face as I growl at him. "Logan…." I warn him not to start it. If and when it happens….it just isn't going to be today I have determined.

Logan rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Probably wanting me to just confront Elle and let it all out but that shit isn't going to work. Not with what I just witnessed. I need her to be the one to decide she is done. I need my Lioness back and she needs to find that strength on her own. Not just for me but because she would want it that way.

I start to clean up my area after I wipe everything from my face and tone. Elle is looking between the two of us confused and I don't want to stay around to make things worse. "I will let you two get about your day together. Are we still on for lunch, Logan?"

Logan locks eyes with me and frowns but nods. He is probably wondering why I am asking but I just needed to confirm the time frame. I have more items to my list and I want to get Emma there with me as well.

"Yeah we are. See you there."

I nod then stand as I look to Elle with a frown of my own. I know I am going to see her later but I am already hating leaving her. "Enjoy your day with Logan, Elle." I start to walk off but stop and look back at her with a smirk when I remember that I have Tyler being occupied. He just better leave her the hell alone. "Oh by the way. I think Samuels will be a bit too busy to be bothering you today. You let Logan know if he still keeps it up though."

I know my tone went cold there at the end but I already know that he will keep it up. The thought has me already feeling dangerously angry.

She nods to me respectfully. "Have a good day, Sir."

That pain and annoyance of her using the title not my name flashes through me and I turn to leave before anymore can show. I did that to myself because she didn't start that shit until I had started to call her Stiff.

Gods I am such an ass. I go quickly to my office to grab a things for my few meetings in Erudite before I head to grab my bag for the weekend then head to the transport bay.

It won't take as long to get to Erudite this way and I run through a few notes as I settle in for the ride.

All I have to attend to would be seeing that the battle simulation tech that was just approved and developed will be ready for testing with the instructors and senior members next week. Then arranging for all of the equipment for that and the computer labs to be sent over and set up.

"Wait….so you and Elle developed this?" I ask in disbelief as I sit across from my sister and a few other Erudite techs that were meeting with me about the battle simulator.

Emma smirks and quirks an eyebrow and I can tell she picked up my tone when I said Elle's name...and that I didn't say Electra like everyone else has been doing. "We did. It was Electra mainly until she reached a point that we needed to expand the capabilities for more people. The concept and most of the tech behind it were all her though."

I can hear the obvious affection and pride in her voice when talking about her and the achievement. It is a hell of an achievement too because usually it takes a team to come up with tech this developed or advanced.

I remember the past month her running off at nights after getting dinners to the leaders saying something about a project. This must have been what she was working.

I can only nod with my forehead furrowed, again trying to keep my emotions in check. Why is that when it comes it her things break through whether I want them to or not? "I look forward to seeing it in action then. This is quite the achievement." I acknowledge to mainly Emma but the others as well.

Emma tilts her head and listens along with me as the others inform me about the arrival of the equipment, what will be set up and the techs that will be available to make adjustments if needed.

"Of course since you will have the developers there on hand it might be better to have them make any adjustments needed. They know the programs inside and out and honestly we have had very little to do in the set up. We put it into production for the scale that is required but everything else came from the two young ladies that created the tech."

Jonathan, the head of R&D and a leader supplied with a small smile. As far as leaders go for Erudite he is one of the least stuffy. He is also one of my family close friends and had been one of the ones to approach me about my role in Jeanine's plans. He hadn't been a leader at the time but was made one after the take down of Jeanine and a few others.

"I am sure we would be happy to help out any way we can. I know Elle will want to for sure. This has been her baby and she might just kick someone's but if they mess things up." Emma says with a laugh but I can tell it is also dead serious.

I can't help the snort that escaped me as I laugh a little. "That is an understatement."

Emma's eyes narrow as she looks at me and then her face breaks out into the biggest smile. I sigh and shake my head, giving her a pointed look.

When the meeting concludes and everything is set Emma and I walk out together and to meet with Caleb and then her apartment.

"So are you going to tell me or do I have to grill you Little Brother?" Emma asks quietly as we walk along the corridors to the lobby to meet with Caleb.

"Tell you what?" I ask in a bland voice.

"Don't play dumb with me Eric Landon Coulter. About you and Elle. And don't try and tell me there isn't something going on there….for you at least. I know there can't be for Elle because of…." She trails off and sighs unhappily.

I can't help the growl that escapes me and my fists clench. Emma stops me for a second and looks at me concerned but also studying me. "If you are that upset about him and her to be showing anything Eric, why…"

I interrupt her with a sigh and shake my head. "Because I am fucking idiot ok. It is also complicated Emma. You know where she came from and the circumstances. I wanted her to be able to...I don't settle in and find herself. Plus there is her future brother in law and I. We both can't stand each other and had I tried anything before she turned eighteen...well let's just say he wouldn't have hesitated to use that against me."

Emma tilted her head and nodded. "The way Elle tells it you would have done the same to him though. So it isn't all him. Regardless of that do you know if she feels the same way?"

We had started to walk again and I sigh. "I think she does but doesn't know that is what she is feeling. At the very least there is and has always been a connection and attraction there."

Emma bites her lip in thought but doesn't say anything else for a little bit. We finally meet Caleb in the lobby of the headquarters. He had some meetings as well so we all head over the highrise where both he and Emma live to let them get changed.

"Did you get the kind of clothes I suggested?" I ask as I looked over to Caleb worriedly.

Caleb gave his lopsided grin and nodded. "I know I don't look it or seem like it but I have gone a few adventures before. All instigated by Elle of course. I was able to gather clothes that I think will work for the purpose of the weekend."

Caleb looked over to Emma and smiled. "She is going to be very happy you will be there. She might even forget all about me in her excitement at seeing you."

Emma smiled and laughed but shook her head. "Not a chance. I am sure she will be happy I am there too but I know it will mean everything you are there too. Just be prepared Caleb. You know how she is, she is going to drag us into some kind of daredevil stunt or another. She will demand it even!" Emma exclaimed that last part and chewed her lip a little worriedly.

I couldn't help but smirk because they weren't wrong. I could see her doing and saying just that. It still floors me that Emma and Elle are so close. I go with Emma to her place to help her gather things that will work for where we are going while Caleb goes to his to grab his bag.

As I am helping her Emma looks at me seriously. "Is it serious for you Eric?"

Her voice is quiet and hopeful. I run a hand over the back of my neck and shrug. "Have you known me to ever be this way about any girl. Even my few girlfriends from before transfer? Yeah Emma. I don't know how it happened but I fell for her. I haven't even looked at another girl since she walked into my life that day."

Emma smiled widely at me and nodded. "You know when I knew she was going to Dauntless I thought I was becoming so close to her because she reminded me so much of you. She does but it was more than that too. I think somewhere I was hoping you two…."

She trailed off when I groaned and shook my head. "Emma you can't push things or even mention. I need her to figure shit out on her own. Not just with me but with the dickhead too. It is important to me but I know it would be important to her too."

Emma smirks at me and tilts her head. "You really do know her then because you are exactly right. I will try to keep my comments to a minimum brother." She says with a laugh before I throw a few sweaters at her to pack then roll my eyes.

I have a moment where I am almost regretting bringing my big sister along. Then I think of how fucking happy Elle is going to be and that passes.

Speaking of Elle….

I pull out my tablet phone and message her. They should be getting to Amity by now and have done the surprise greeting for her. I don't regret missing it really when I know that I have a meaningful surprise for her in the works.

I do want to send her a message though. Leaving this morning, I had wanted to say the words happy birthday to her and be the first. It would have given it away though so had to restrain myself.

' _Sorry couldn't be there for the surprise part. See you soon though. Happy Birthday Elle.'- Eric_

It takes a little bit for her to reply back but when she does I smile a little imagining her reaction to it all.

' _Thank you for the birthday wishes. It was for sure a surprise, but nice. I am guessing you will be here later?'- Elle_

Caleb knocks on the door and Emma is ready to go so I give a simple reply.

' _Yep'_ - _Eric_

' _See you soon then'-Elle_

It isn't how our messages used to be or the playful banter we had back and forth but it is something. Right now that is better than nothing for me.

I am smiling as I grab Emma's bag for her and we head out to the transport to take us to Amity. I have no clue what to expect really but I make a promise to myself that I will make every effort to take things back to how they used to be. At the very least to be friends again. It might kill me to just be friends but I think I would rather have that then nothing at all with Elle.

At least that is what I tell myself.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: No long note here. Just wanted to say thanks to all the readers, reviewers, favs and follows. Thanks for sticking around while I recharge my arsenal of creativity and ideas. Without further ado...here is another Eric Chapter.**

 **Chapter 17**

"They went on a hike before lunch. Trust Elle to have found the zip-line first thing and was itching to go. Logan organized the hike instead." Tris announced to us when we finally got down from being shown the rooms we would be staying in.

I remember having seen one of the smaller lodges, like what Max, Elise, Max Jr., Mari and the grandkids were all staying in as a family. That itself was nice but it had nothing on the lodge that the big group had.

I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face as I imagined Elle chomping at the bit to already be on the zip-line.

Emma looked over to me and was chewing her lip. I quirked my eyebrow and tilted my head. She was worried about something.

"What's up?" I ask quietly standing beside her as she is sitting at the huge dining table.

She sighs with a smile and shrugs. "I was just imagining what Elle is going to say when it is time to go zip-lining. Or do anything this weekend. She won't show me slack at all. She is kind of scary and demanding about things like that."

I have to bite my lip and look down as the amusement and absolute pleasure floods me. I also know she is completely right.

Caleb laughs beside her and nods. "It is worse if she looks at you like or if you are family. Believe me I cannot tell you the times she talked me into some fool thing when she cooked up an adventure back in Abnegation. I can't complain though. For every adrenaline filled thing we did she also found something to learn from it."

Emma and I both tilted our heads to listen as Tris and Four had joined the table with drinks for everyone. I was still content to stand to the side. I wasn't exactly comfortable with openly showing that Emma was my sister.

I had years of trying to protect her by keeping my distance and I was still in that mind frame. It was taking some getting used to that we could now publicly acknowledge each other.

Tris had smiled at Caleb as he started to talk about Elle and how she would try and put something in their adventures for everyone.

"When we would go to Amity she always had a way of talking someone in there to let us either go into the fields and learn about their processes, the orchards, and even got us to be able to attend births of the animals in the spring." Caleb started out but then Tris joined in laughing.

"Do you remember when she talked that elder Amity man to teach her how to make a real wooden shelter using nothing but the tools they could make? We got to spend the weekend and were supposed to be at the Amity compound helping with some of the preparation for the winter season. Mom was with us and Mrs. Black." Tris, Four, and Caleb all groaned then winced at the name of the hag that I remembered from the day of the attack.

I didn't blame them but I already imagined that weekend had been one for the books if she was involved.

"I can already imagine that not working out well." I said out loud without thinking.

Tris and Emma smirked at me but Caleb laughed with his lopsided smile on display. "That would be putting it mildly. Surprisingly enough it wasn't Elle that lost her temper it was Johana and Mom. They couldn't take anymore of Mrs. Black harassing her any chance she got so they sent all of us away to 'run errands' out to the outlying elders."

"Really the Elder was someone that we all knew well that they trusted to send us to for the weekend." Tris finished with a shrug. "He taught us a lot about being able to survive on the land or building our own shelters. It is part of why I requested those Amity senior members. They are related to him and were all taught the same things. Having them to help out with the survival training will help immensely."

It never failed to surprise me to get these tidbits on Elle's life before the attack and coming to Dauntless. Sometimes they came from Logan, Tris and even Zeke had shared a few stories of how Elle knew something. There were plenty of things that had been thought of when the Academy proposal was suggested that I had wondered where the origin came from.

The survival courses and the level of what she thought should be taught was part of that. A thought crossed my mind and I was left frowning but looked to them seriously.

"Wait. Did you guys go over the fence, Tris? Some of the things you proposed to be taught...that is survival for over the wall specifically." I couldn't help my tone going worried and even angry.

Four tensed but I couldn't tell if it was from picking up on my tone or the question in general. He quirked his own eyebrow at Tris so apparently if they had he didn't know about it.

Tris and Caleb shared a long look and finally Caleb sighed and nodded. "We went with a group of Amity that were allowed to go just outside of the fence. We didn't go further than with them and were watched the entire time. The elder we were talking about, Samuel, was with us. Elle was and is still obsessed with what is out there. She had several discussions with him about the fact that the fence was only recently made so secure and closed off. He saw she was going to find a way to go over and he headed it off."

Tris nodded seriously with frown. I was matching that frown and raising it then some. We didn't get a chance to talk more about things because the sound of the group returning could be heard long before they made it to the lodge.

Elle was laughing as they walked into the lodge. Logan had given an order for everyone to get cleaned up but saying that Elle would have them all leaving again soon.

Caleb was already starting to stand with a smile on his face when he caught sight of Elle.

Seeing her laughing like she was right now, such a far fucking cry from how she has been over the last few months, filled me with happiness and longing. So I worked to wipe it all from my face and took on the normal look I have. The one I am able to manage for everyone but Elle really. I keep it on a tight leash though.

"Damn straight. I want to Zip-line. The hike appeased me for now. But my adrenaline junkie will rear her head again soon." She responds to Logan with that laugh still.

Caleb smirks and calls out to her. "Nice to see my little sister hasn't changed too much."

I didn't think her smile could get even wider but it did as she broke out into a run at him and he broke into a brisk walk to met her. I knew it was going to come and couldn't help the internal laugh as Elle launched herself at her brother and impacted hard enough to take him to the ground in a tackle. "Caleb!" She yelled as she had launched herself at him.

"Mmpf" He called out as he impacted the ground. They started laughing though and I could see his arms around her in a hug. "Dammit Elle. This isn't a recreation of tackle football like you talked me into that one time."

Why does that not even fucking surprise me? It does surprise me her brother took part in it though.

Elle popped up with a smirk and held her hand down to help him up. "Not yet, Caleb. Not yet. Thanks for the reminder of that by the way. Now I know something I can propose we do as an activity. We will just have to find a ball."

God I love this girl. Could she be anymore perfect?

Get your shit together and remember that you are supposed to be hiding your emotions right now Eric.

Fat chance of that happening when just the sight of her so happy has me flooded with all of this crap.

She was was looking over him, taking in his clothes apparently as she smirked at him. He shrugged with that smile they share. "You can thank the person for bringing me. He suggested it might not be practical to wear the normal Erudite wear. So darkest blue it is in the sturdiest material I could find."

I tense at that. I wasn't sure I wanted her to know I had arranged all of this or not. Part of me did because it would help maybe with getting us back to where we were. Part of me didn't because seeing her like this, feeling how much I was, I didn't know if I could just go back to even how we were in the beginning.

"You look good Caleb. You always wore the black well too when we would go on those secret trips around the city and to train." He shrugged and blushed but Elle tilted her head and I could see she was just registering his words. Trying to figure things out. "You said that someone brought you? It couldn't have been Logan. So who was it?"

Caleb linked arms with her and walked her back over to the table. I don't know why, maybe he got a glance at my face when I tensed earlier. I really do just suck at hiding things when it comes to her. What the hell happened to me being able to push all my emotions aside and not showing anything?

Either way he doesn't answer her. He brings attention to the person he knows will make her happy to see as well. "Well actually he brought two of us."

They finally get right to the area and Emma stands beaming at Elle. Her eyes light up as soon as she sees Emma. I see and feel the obvious love and affection between them.

I can't even help how pleased that makes me. I knew I would be happy about it but I didn't expect to be flooded with warmth at how much love the two women I love, have for each other.

Elle smiles at me briefly before her eyes move back to Emma who is moving to embrace her. "Elle sweetie. You look like you are already enjoying yourself."

I can hear the relief and happiness in my sister's voice as she sees what I think everyone else is seeing and are just as relieved about. It hasn't even been one day away from Tyler and it is like some kind of switch has been flipped. This is my Elle. Well, our Elle really...I think as I look around the room and can't help but take in the smiles of everyone around that she cares about or is close too.

They might not be right beside her but I can tell her smile and joy is radiating into them as well. I know it is for me at least.

Elle laughs with a nod. "I am. I am extremely happy you could be here." They hug for a few moments before Emma pulls back and smiles at her.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Especially with how the next few months are going to be for all of us. You my dear, better take this time to relax. I was worried about how much you were pushing yourself those last two weeks."

Emma frowned looking over Elle but she only smirks with a shrug. "I am not going to lie and say I am sorry because I am not. I was excited to get that project off the ground and that it gets to be used at the academy just please me to no end. Come on Emma you know you had fun too." She playfully bumps her shoulder against Emma's.

Emma blushes and nods with a grin. "I will admit I guess I can see now why you like shooting guns so much. It might not have been real but it was a real thrill."

I see everyone looking between the two of them. I can only smirk and shrug. "What the hell. We weren't going to announce it was being put in use until the first week. Everyone meet the creators of the battle simulation that we will be using throughout those appropriate courses. The instructors will get to run through it within that first week. Good work guys."

"Battle Simulation...is that the project you were so occupied with Electra?" Four exclaims out excitedly. As excited as Four can get or shows. Others join in wanting to know what it is and more details.

Emma smirks over at Elle. "That was all Elle at first. I just supervised and helped her refine a few things. Then when we wanted to expand the capabilities to include more people on the same simulation I had to help a bit more but not much."

Elle blushes as she shrugs with a smile. I can tell that she doesn't like all the attention on her. In fact I know she hates this kind of attention. She isn't one to do something like that for the attention or because she thinks it will get her anything. "We will agree to disagree about this. Either way it was worth all of those sleepless nights and long hours hunched over terminals and workbenches." She says finally but in a way that says she wants to move on from that line of conversation.

Emma smiles at her. "You should go get cleaned up before the wolves start baying for blood. I hear a few stomachs grumbling."

Elle laughs and winks at her. "Fine but just so you know Emma…" She looks at Emma with her wicked and mischievous grin "...the minute you stepped foot in the lodge you put yourself at my not so tender mercies. You will be zip-lining later."

There are laughs everywhere and I pull mine in. I already knew that was what she was going to say and Emma had called it correctly. Emma turns red and bites her lip. "I told him you were going to say that."

She turns to look at me with a smile that I return at least with my eyes. It is still going to take work for me to be that open but I am trying.

"Well then you know me pretty damn well. I better go get dressed." I missed what Elle's expression was but I heard something off in her voice. She was gone and moving to her rooms before I could figure out what it was though.

Whatever it was it had Logan looking at her worriedly as she passed him quickly.

I hadn't failed to notice Logan's eyes not being able to leave Emma from the moment he first realized she was there. He had immediately looked to me though and had shot me a look of anger that I hadn't warned him I am sure. I did feel guilty about that for a moment. That lasted about as long as the anger took to pass, all I saw left was longing and happiness as he looked at her.

How similar our looks to the women we love must be at the moment. Logan was wrong when he had said that there was still something I could do but he couldn't. He could, it was just going to be difficult. They were miserable though and I couldn't stand seeing that anymore.

I move over to where Emma is at the same time as Logan does. I know they will need someone there to ease the meeting, a first in a very long time, for them.

"You were right Emma. Elle is going to make sure you get on that zip-line with us so prepare yourself." I say with a little smirk.

Emma gives a nervous huff of laughter when Logan moves a bit closer. "The best policy where Electra is concerned is to just prepare for anything. She would never let me do anything she thought really dangerous though."

Thank gods for that but what Elle considers really dangerous is another question.

"You look…." Logan starts as he still can't take his eyes off of Emma "It is really good to see you again Emma. You look beautiful." He finally finishes the thought I am sure he was trying to keep himself from saying to begin with.

Emma blushes and smiles. "It is really good to see you again too, Logan. I hear such good things about you from Elle. I can't say how grateful I am that you have been able to be there for her. I was so worried about her right after the attack. It killed me not to be able to go to her but Caleb and I couldn't get permission."

Logan and I both scowled at that and I huffed in irritation. "I would condemn all of the leaders from everything they did to drag their feet in regards to Elle but there were a few good ones that were working hard. It was just a mess all around in Abnegation leadership."

Emma nodded with a sigh. "I can understand their distrust too. When Caleb and I found out that she was the top target, we both almost died of worry. We were frantic and hoped we had gotten the word out fast enough in general. Afterwards though, I can understand that it was a concern for her and all the other former targets having anything to do with Erudite for a while."

Logan scoffs. "Caleb is her brother though and you both, like you said, were the ones to warn of the attack. There could have and should have been exceptions made before they finally got off their asses and did so."

Emma shrugs and smiled at him. "Either way she is safe now and I couldn't be happier that she has and had such a wonderful support system. She is truly flourishing now that she doesn't have to hide her love for learning and working on those things that interest her most."

When Elle and the others that had been on the hike return we all set out to grab food. By some unspoken agreement everyone waited and let Elle grab her food first. I know that Shauna, Mar and Lynn had all worked on making some of Elle's favorite foods that Hana Pedrad usually makes.

Once she has hers everyone else starts digging in and going to different areas to sit. I go with the group to find and sit with Elle. Maybe I shouldn't sit too close to her but I give in and sit beside her. I didn't intend to be practically rubbing up against her but others moved to the couch we were on and I had to move over to make room.

There is a little talk here and there but people are mostly eating and relaxing.

After a little while though Elle sighs, waggles her eyebrows and smiles widely. "So Zip-lining?"

Logan chuckles from beside Emma on a seat and nods. "Yes Elle, we will be going zip-lining after everyone eats."

Elle grins but then bites her lip and gets that damn calculating look again. Tris snickers from a chair across the way as she is eyeing her sister. "What are you plotting Elle?"

Elle shrugs and has an impish smirk. "I am not plotting anything but I was wondering if we could make it a bit more interesting."

My arm, on it's own it feels like, went to the back of the couch and I was seconds from pulling her closer to me. I had to go into muscle lockdown to stop it as the others reacted to Elle's musings.

Emma's mouth dropped open and I could tell visions of what Elle was cooking up were flashing before her eyes. I had to admit I was running through a list myself and coming up empty. How could she make it more interesting?

"Isn't it interesting enough?" Emma almost squeaks out.

As the others are chuckling and Elle is laughing I turn more towards her. I can't help the smirk on my lips or that I allow my arm to brush her shoulder.

She blushes and shivers a little causing my smirk to deepen. "More interesting how, Lioness?"

I am sure my tone is warmer than she has heard it in a while. It is also the first time in a while I have allowed myself to call her that out loud.

She clears her throat as her skin flushes. "I was wondering how firing at targets while zip-lining would be. I mean…" She sivers again and the entire time her eyes had never broken from mine. For the first time though I see something in her own eyes. Desire and not innocent desire this time. Her voice goes breathy as she continues. "That would be amazing."

My body responds immediately to what I feel radiating from her but also just her mind. How creative it is that she came up with that in moments and the thrills that it sends through me. The thought of not just that activity but with her and because it came from her has desire coursing through me.

I work to keep my breathing normal but I can't help my nostrils flaring at the effort. I don't know how long we sit there holding each other's eyes before I hear Logan chuckle and then speaking.

"You owe me 100 credits, Eric. I told you she would come up with something." His voice was dripping with smugness and I wanted to curse him because I know it isn't all due to he won that damn bet.

Elle frowned and then broke eye contact with me as she looked to Logan. My eyes follow hers and Logan as well as Emma are looking between the two of us with smug smiles.

I can't even be upset with them right now because I am still so caught up in what I was feeling. I have it under control at least though so I shrug with a smirk. "I won't be complaining. We have to get it set up though. Did you bring the targets?"

Logan smirks at me and nods. "Fuck yeah I did. Like I am not going to when we are all getting together like this?" He pauses and looks over to Four, Uri and Zeke.

He didn't need to get Four in on setting up the targets but I can tell he isn't liking Four's glare as he is looking between Elle and I. "Yo, guys. Let's go get this setup and get the show on the road."

They got up and moved off to get everything set up. Emma though turned a worried look over at Elle.

Elle tilted her head for a minute and then started to laugh as she shook her head. "Don't worry Emma. You may have kicked ass in simulations but putting a live firing gun in your hands ain't in the cards for you. I will be satisfied with your screams as you careen down the forest and through the trees."

Humor floods me and I can't help but let it show as I turn to her. Emma though looks relieved but also horrified at the same time.

Laughter rings out from everyone around and Lynn is holding her stomach she is laughing so hard.

Emma shakes her head with a smile. "You are a bit evil Electra Prior. Did you know that?"

Elle winks at her. "You know you love it. Or do I need to tell everyone that I tried to convince you to do that other…"

Whatever she was going to say Emma interrupts with a scream and a red face. "Electra! We agreed to never speak of that experiment you did and we never will. Period. Why Dr. Carver accepted that proposal or I helped you make it while we were both drunk I will never know. But we will not be talking about it."

I have to bite back the groan because whatever is was to get my sister that red and then cause Elle to instantly flush as well cannot be good. That they were both drunk when it was created cannot be good either.

Elle frowns and nods. "Yeah sorry. Mouth got away before my brain could catch up on that one. Not something I want anyone to know either. Not that I have anything to be embarrassed about…" her tone is become strained and she is turning redder by the second as she trails off then resumes again. "Is it fucking how out here to anyone else?" She asks then stops talking.

Before anyone can respond or I can react because that definitely cannot be a good sign, she pops up and moves off very quickly.

Emma laughs but is still red and I can only look back at her with my eyebrow quirked. Tris is looking confused as she looks at my sister. "That cannot be good if it has Elle that embarrassed."

Emma sighs and chuckles. "Like I said...I will not be talking about it. Period."

She shrugs and I know my sister enough to know she won't be talking about it when she has that look.

I don't try and figure it out because honestly it might be better I don't know. I am still recovering from earlier. I am saved as everyone that is going to do zip-lining gathers up to head out.

I caught a glimpse of Elle coming from the bathroom and it looked as if her neck and hair was a little wet. I swallowed and looked away as we headed out. Yeah it is probably a really good fucking idea I don't know what that experiment was.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Gods Elle had a brilliant fucking mind. That was all I could think as the rush of adrenaline was still coursing through me. Tris, Max, and a few of the senior members and I all gathered around to talk about using this at the academy at some point. Hell not just the fucking academy really, this shit would be something we would look at setting up for members to train in and do regularly. How could we not?

When everyone had gone we all headed back to the lodge. Elle had been scooped up by Logan, Uri and Zeke as they carried her along on their shoulders in excitement for her idea and brilliance.

Emma and I laughed as we walked together and followed them a little ways away. Emma was laughing and smiling even though just moments ago she had altered between hysterical laughter and screams. I can tell she enjoyed it though.

She smiles at me and sighs. "It is good to see you looking happy, Eric. To see you letting go a little. I can't help but think that has a lot to do with her though."

Both of our eyes go to Elle who is calling for the guys to let her down and laughing.

I smile and nod. "I won't lie and say it isn't. I feel like my life changed the day I met her. I mean that day was bound to change things for me regardless because the chapter was finally being closed. I just wonder if it would have really closed for me though."

Emma nods and bites her lip. "She is different with you too you know. At school, no matter if she wore the grey of Abnegation, she was admired by guys of all factions. You couldn't look at her and not see she was different, special. She didn't see any of them though. She didn't look at any of them the way she looks at you and she hasn't talked to them or about them like she has you."

I can't help the smile that comes over my face at the thought that she has talked about me. "She's talked about me?"

Emma chuckles and shakes her head. "I wouldn't have guessed that there was anything more than maybe real admiration for you and maybe a crush. I could tell she respected you from when she mentioned you before. She mentioned you and Four's issues and not understanding it but that she wasn't going to let someone tell her how to feel about someone else."

I sigh and rub the back of my head. "I want to try and be friends with her Emma. Being around her, seeing her happy, it makes me happy. At the same time it kills me to have to constantly hold myself back."

I shrug and frown at the thought but Emma nods and casts a look to Logan. "I know what you mean."

I internally sighed and contemplate if I should say what I want to say. Deciding to just get it out there I come out and say it. "I never understood why you guys couldn't just have tried Emma. Yeah sure it is frowned on but we all fucking know it happens. It just isn't talked about. You deserve to be happy too you know and neither of you are."

I had slowed us down a little so that I could say this to her. She frowned and was looking down as we walked. "I don't know Eric. I don't know how it would work or even if we would want something like that."

I shrugged with my own frown. "You won't know until you two talk about it."

She only nodded at me but I could tell she was deep in thought about it. I could tell by the looks she gave Logan as we neared the lodge that even being this close to him was filling a hole that had been in her from the moment they last were able to see each other."

When we finally made it into the lodge Elle was pinned to the ground by Zoe Pedrad and it looked like Max's grandkids might have been in on it as well. They were now being spun around by Logan as they all laughed.

Emma and I moved around the scene while trying not to step on Elle or Zoe. I guess Elle realized the danger because I heard her telling Zoe they needed to get up before they were trampled.

Zoe nods and jumps up with Elle following quickly but Zoe looks to Elle right after. Zoe nods and jumps up. "Oh Elle! He said for you to call him right fucking now. And he means it or you will be sorry."

My head snaps over to them and I am already moving. I can see Tris doing the same because there is no doubt who the fuck that was that just threatened her.

Elle turns back to the young girl with a frown on her face. "Zoe, who told you that?"

Does she really need to fucking ask?

Zoe scowls and holds up what I am guessing is Elle's phone. "The mean ass on the phone that kept calling you. He said he would be very upset and come find you if your didn't."

Oh he is a fucking dead man.

We are all moving at the same time but Tris gets to Elle first as she was reaching for her phone the same time as Elle. "Oh fucking really now?" Tris growls out in a dangerous tone as she snatches the phone.

Four is right behind Tris and glaring while I am not much better.

"Tris…" Elle says in a warning tone and tries to grab the phone back but I am through with letting her handle this. I thought I could. I thought I would let her come to this decision on her own but I can't. He just threatened her!

I grab her arm to pull her back from getting the phone. I already know that Tris will be making a call or two and one to Tyler himself. Normally I would want to be the one to do that but I can't even handle that right now. It is better that Tris do that part.

"No Elle. He obviously isn't getting the hint." I growled out. I nod to Tris to let her know I will keep Elle busy and she steps away with her sister's phone. Four glares at me and I know he can't decide where he needs to be more. Luckily he decides it is with Tris and Logan who had been looking murderous and grabbing his jacket as if he was about to go after Tyler right then. Emma had only put a hand on his arm and whispered something before I saw him calm...slightly.

He gave me a look with his eyes and I knew what he was wanting. As much as I didn't want to say shit to her or interfere, I can't hold back anymore.

Elle's eyes snap up to mine as I had started to pull her along with me to the porch. "Eric, I can handle Tyler. I…."

My temper surges as my own eyes flash with anger and lock on hers. "Like you have been handling him this entire time, Electra? No, you had your chance. Ignoring him and the problem won't work anymore."

I had gotten us to the side of the building and was looking for somewhere I could keep her to try and talk some sense into her. I found a corner that I pushed her into and then stood to block her way from leaving. I was determined we were going to have this out here.

"I am not ignoring anything, Eric." She says with a clenched jaw and that fire in her voice while she glares at me.

The sun is setting and some of the rays are picking up the bronzes in her hair, making them shine slightly. Along with flecks of silver in her eyes I hadn't noticed before now.

"Oh really? You aren't? Are sure about that Electra?" I move closer to her while my expression hardens. She is ignoring so fucking much it is ridiculous.

"What does that mean, Eric? Yes, I am sure I am not ignoring anything. Does it take me a while to process and figure things out? Yes. I am trying to figure out how relationships work and how my relationship works. It isn't perfect but that doesn't mean you just give up on it." She throws her hands up as she says this but there is a tinge in her voice. A voice that is tired of the struggle she has been going through and it kills me that she is fighting so damn hard for this and him. She is so damn unhappy.

"Even if it isn't what you really want? Do you really want to be with Tyler, Elle? Or are you just doing it because everyone is pushing you to not be with him? How about how he fucking talks to you? He just threatened you Elle." I can't help the hurt that I feel for how much she is putting up with, how much it is hurting her and changing her.

"How do you know what I want Eric? I don't even know what I want sometimes."

Because I know you Elle. Because I know you want me as much as I want you. That is what I want to say and should say but I don't. This isn't about me or what I want for us. This is about her and being able to see what is going on and stop it.

"Because I see you with him. And you don't look exactly fucking happy with him. When he touches you I don't see you looking like you care one way or another. I see you struggling when he tries to tell you what to do."

I am working hard here to mask my feelings as I talk to her. Not to let my own hurt come through but I can and will let the anger through. She steps closer to me as she replies. "Why do you care Eric? It is my relationship so I don't understand why it matters to you."

Anger is all I feel coursing through me. Anger at her for staying with him. Anger with Tyler for doing this to Elle. More than anything I am feeling anger with myself for so many reasons.

I pulled away and closed myself off so of course she wouldn't think I cared. Maybe I was hoping deep down that just like I always felt she saw the real me that she would also see through all of that. See that I care about her so deeply that this is killing me.

I guess I was wrong.

My hands clench to my sides. "You're right Stiff. I don't fucking care. It is your relationship to fuck your life up with by staying with that loser. I just thought you were smarter than that."

I can't even help that I lashed out at her. I am that angry and hurting right now so I want nothing more than just to let her go before I say something else I will really regret. I step aside and motion for her to go.

I should have known that this wouldn't go over well with Elle.

Her back snaps so much that I can hear it when it does. "No! You brought this up and brought me out here. You don't get to do that anymore, Eric. Either I am fucking stiff and not worth your time or I am your friend. I won't let you keep flip flopping like that on me. I can't handle that anymore.

That part of me that will fight back when hurt is right there. I advance on her, making her back into the wall. I lean down right near her face and I know my face and tone take on the one I have never used on her. The one I got my reputation for having.

"Who said I wanted to be your friend. Stiff? What makes _you_ think you can talk to me like that or at all?"

"The right that you gave me by talking to _me_ like you did. Like I said Eric, you can't have it both ways anymore. I am either a stiff and a little girl not worth your time or your friend." Her voice is that of the deadly steel I heard when talking about going after Jeanine.

The same one that made me fall for her in the first place. That strength of her character in the middle of that shit. I can feel my anger going at that but also at the thought that she does want me in her life.

I just can't be in it like she thinks or maybe wants me to be. I have to take the chance now. We are at a turning point here. We are both throwing down a gauntlet but she needs to know.

"What if I don't want to be your friend Elle?" My voice is still strained but now with the affecting I have for her. The need for her is strong and I let it through.

"Then don't Eric. I can't force you and I won't beg you. But you need to decide what you want." Her voice caught in that. The thought of losing me hurts her as much as it is hurting me.

"You want me to decide…" I trail off thinking the irony that she is demanding I decide right now when I have been waiting for her this entire time. My lips twitch in a smirk of amusement. My heart picks up a little though at the thought that this is the moment. I can take a chance or just walk away. There was never a choice really I need to take the chance.

"Are you sure about that Elle? You want me to decide right now what I want?"

She swallows and nods as an answer. My smirk widens as I shrug. "Ok"

I don't tell her with words. Instead I tell her with something I have been thinking about since I was kneeled before her in the command tent that day we met.

My hands move to the sides of her face as I press against her and her to the wall. I tilt her head up further gently as I brush my lips against hers. I am giving her time to push me away but that never comes.

It felt as electrical charges were moving from her lips to mine and I couldn't help but to deepen the kiss. My tongue flicks out against her lips asking for entrance and she gasps and moans into my mouth.

She wasn't just allowing me entrance but demanding it and more as she gripped my shirt pulling me even closer.

I can only growl in approval for her wanting this just as much as I do, her reaction and the feel of her lips and tongue dancing with mine. I can feel my heart beating so fast and hard it is a wonder she hasn't pulled back to ask me if I am dying instead of kissing me just as hungrily as I am her. I know I need to slow this down because my body is getting away from me.

I pull away from the deep kiss, meaning to pull back and speak to her but I can't and it seems neither can she. In fact I realize my arms have gone to her waist to pull her closer but hers have gone around my neck to do the same.

I need to stop because things need to be said. When I manage to finally pull myself away from the kiss we are both panting and I notice her heart is beating just as hard as mine.

"Eric." Elle sigh and pants at the same time. It is a plea but also so filled wanting. It is also confused.

I press my forehead to hers and swallow to try and regain my voice and breath. "You said I needed to decide Elle. But that was already done a long time ago."

I am feeling pulled again and I can tell she is too but we need to talk about this first. I can't help but brush my nose against hers, my lips so damn close to hers again.

She takes a breath as if preparing to say something so I hold myself back. "But…..Emma?"

Ok, not exactly a response I was expecting. Why would she be worried what my sister would think about this? I lean back to look at her and frown. "What about Emma?"

Elle gives a sigh that is more a grumble and scowls at me. "You and Emma."

Me and …...then it registers. She thinks there is something going on with me and Emma. Gods how disturbing that thought is. I can't help but start chuckling just at disturbing that is. I can feel her stiffen and I knew she was working up to anger so I lean in and kiss her before she can yell at me.

After another minute of kissing and when I can feel her anger has ebbed I pull away but press a kiss to her forehead.

"Elle, Emma is my sister. There is no Emma and I in that type of way." She gasps and I pull back to look at her. I see relief and even guilt flash in her eyes and I can't help how fucking pleased that makes me. "You got jealous didn't you?" I ask with a smirk, already knowing the answer but wanting and needing to hear her say it.

She scowls at me and I can tell she is going to try and deny it so I quirk an eyebrow at her to let her know that won't work. She blows out a breath in a huff and clenches her jaw.

"Yes." She says between clenched teeth.

I know I am completely being an asshole about this when my smirk deepens but gods does it feel so fucking good to know she feels enough for me to get jealous. That she feels for me beyond something physical...I can't help being pleased by that.

I can't say that out loud of course so I try and let her know another way. I kiss her again and put all of that into it. By the time we pull away again we are catching our breath but not because of the hungry passion. The kiss was everything I haven't been able to say to her until now. "Good." I stroke her face as I know what I need to say next.

I hear people moving around and I know someone is going to come looking for her soon so I have to say this now. "Elle, you need to decide what you want now. When you do, you know where to find me. Just know I am not exactly a patient man, but I have waited for you. I don't do that kind of thing. I have tried to give you time and room but I can't anymore. Either way Elle," I stop and kiss her again deeply. Trying to put that same emotion into this kiss because regardless of what she chooses I need her to recognize she is worth so much more. When I pull away I press my lips to her forehead and close my eyes, soaking her and this in, just in case she decides she doesn't want me. "Either way you are far too good for Tyler and deserve more. Don't let him treat you like that Elle."

We hear her name being called by Tris as we are struggling to get ourselves under control. I can't do that while touching her, especially when she is still clutching me like she is afraid I will disappear. I cup her cheek and lightly move my thumb over it, trying to reassure her. I don't want to let her go but know I need to. I drop my hand with sigh.

"You go first. I will wait a bit before I go. We will talk again Elle." I hated doing it but I had to close myself off or I wouldn't let her go. Gods it was going to be so hard to let her go to the others even when I know she isn't going very far.

Even with the shuttered tone I had I couldn't help letting her know that this wasn't over for me. I wasn't going to give up on her. Elle swallowed and shivered at the last part. She understood and liked it, wanted it even.

I felt relieved but it came out as a smirk as I put my hand on her back to let her know she needed to go. With a small push and a final caress she stepped away to join the others.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey all! So on the poll there were a a good percentage of people that put this as the story they would like to see be finished first. I am going to try and work on this one and get it updated quickly. So courtesy of needing something lighter than my other stories...here you go.**

 **Chapter 18**

It took me a minute to get myself under control. Not just my obvious reaction to having Elle in my arms either. I needed a moment to try and get my emotions and mind in control. I was trying not to become too damn happy about things. Trying not to be too hopeful that maybe, fucking finally, I would have a shot with her.

She still had Tyler to deal with and I couldn't pressure her to make the choice I know with every part of me that she wants to make. I just fucking hoped her sister knew enough that she couldn't do that with her either. Elle was ready to let it go, I could tell. But if she was pushed…..

With a sigh I schooled my face and made my way into the lodge. Elle, Tris, Four and Logan are all over by the bar near the dining room. I have to force myself to keep away and make it to the kitchen where Emma is with a couple of the girls.

Emma is looking at me and then to Elle, with concern. I can only shake my head right now as my own eyes move over to Elle. Whatever they are talking about is causing Four and Logan to pass the whiskey back and forth.

Fuck, that cannot be good. My fists clench and I root myself to the spot. Emma puts her hand on my arm and I see Lauren's eyes go into her hairline while Shauna starts glaring at Emma. Obviously I wasn't as subtle with things as I had hoped. Shauna getting protective of what she saw as Elle's is a good sign. I don't know if I should feel smug, amused or pissed.

I give a little chuckle as I decide to be all three. "I'm fine, Sis. At least I hope to be soon."

I look away from Shauna and Lauren to focus on Emma for the moment. I didn't say it too loudly but I said it loud enough to serve my purposes. One, to let the other's know there was nothing to worry about. Two, to make that step and recognize Emma for the first time outloud and in front of my faction.

Emma smiles at me but there is still worry behind her eyes. "Will Elle be ok though, Eric? He threatened her but you know how she can be."

Both of our eyes are moving to watch them and are automatically drawn to them when Four pops up and makes his way out after kissing Elle's head. Whatever it is they are talking about was something he couldn't handle hearing. That more than anything let me know what it might be about and I couldn't even stop the growl that I let loose.

Shauna sighed sadly and brought me out of things. "I don't like it either but maybe she can finally be done with him."

Elle's eyes move to mine after she had watched Four walk out and I can't help but feel pulled to her. My body starts to follow that but I tense it to lock it down. The moment passes and she goes back to talking with Logan and Tris. He gives me a nod to let me know he will make sure she is ok and that no one makes this worse.

I let out a breath and turn to the women in the kitchen who are all watching me tensely. "What?"

Shauna smirks and shrugs a little. "I don't know it is just….it's you, Eric. You have to admit it is kind of funny that you fell for a stiff."

I roll my eyes and let out a huff of annoyance. "So fucking glad I can amuse you all."

There are a few chuckles but we are all still tense. No one that is close to Elle is going to relax until we knew she was done with the dickhead.

Conversation is scattered but it stops as I hear Tris' voice raise and my eyes snap over to them. "Fuck Elle! You did it to show us you were serious about him?"

My nostrils flare in pain and anger at the situation but also at the look on Elle's face at Tris' words. There is a flash of shame and I cannot handle that right now. No matter how much I wish it hadn't been him; she shouldn't and will not be made to feel that way by anybody, no matter who the fuck they are. Emma locks her arm on mine as Shauna moves in front of me. "Let Logan handle it." Emma warns me and I can see her eyes are watching him at the moment.

I can tell from Logan's face and posture that whatever he is saying to Tris is telling her she needs to back off. When I see Elle's smile as she moves to Logan and wraps her arms around him I feel myself relax a little.

The girl's breath a sigh of relief. I look to see Emma smiling at the sight of Logan and Elle. "They really are close." She states with that smile still.

I nod and give a small smile of my own. "The only thing that would say they aren't brother and sister is their blood. From the moment we met her she became his sister."

Emma sighs and nods. "She has that effect on a lot of people. I am glad they have each other though. I am glad he has family there with him now too."

I know she means Elle and I but when I think about it that has grown since Elle came along. Who Elle cares for became part of Logan's circle. He would never be as close to them as he is with Elle, neither would I really, but even I tolerated the Pedrad's much more than I had before she came along.

How much would change again if Elle and I were together? I shake my head because I am getting ahead of myself here. Emma seemed to see I was deep in thought and had started talking to Lauren and Shauna again.

Shauna had finally come out and asked if she was really my sister so they were talking about that. I feel the questions about my childhood brewing under Lauren's surface and I shot her a glare to shut that down causing Emma to laugh a little.

All of that stops though when we notice Elle, clearly in a rage and moving quickly away from Logan as she starts pacing. Emma can't even stop me as I am over there before I can think to stop myself. Logan does stop me from going near her though.

"Don't. Let her try and get it under control first." He warns me lowly.

I turn cold eyes on him. "What the fuck is going on, Logan?"

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "She got to read the texts that Tyler sent her. She already said she was going to call things off but we had to tell her he sent them. They were pretty bad."

I am seething and needing to know what he said but wanting to know she would be ok more. "Do you think she really was or is going to end it?"

Logan nodded but we don't speak more because Elle is finally turning towards us. She looks calm now. Too damn calm really and it is almost scary looking. Logan narrows his eyes as he takes her in and then nods.

"Good. Now call him. You can go outside but don't go far Ele. Again, not trying to tell you what to do it's just I know you are almost ready to take off and go find him. And as much as I would fucking love you to do that and be there with you, he isn't even worth that effort. It might even be what he wants to do. To piss you off enough to get you back there. I will be by the fire waiting or if you need me."

It seems that for everything that Elle isn't currently feeling I have multiplied in it. All I can feel is rage for Tyler. Logan is right, that was exactly what he was wanting to do. To get her there and who knows what he would have tried to pull. I know Elle enough to know that even with calling him, if he continues to piss her off…..she might say fuck it and go anyways. I am so worried about that and just her in general.

I don't want her with him and never did but I also don't want her to have to go through the pain of a shitty break up. She moves closer and as much as I want to pull her to me, I can't. I have to force myself to let her pass by.

When she does, she goes to the bar and tosses back a drink then looks to Tris with a sigh. "Tris, I would like you to go outside with me when I call him."

Tris smiles and I can tell she is relieved that Elle is letting her be there for this. Even I feel a little relieved at it. Tris looks to Logan. "Logan, make sure Four stays away please. Elle and I are going to walk around the lodge but we won't go too far."

Logan's jaw clenches in determination but then he looks at me pointedly too. I get it and yes, I had just been thinking about following them. Only to make sure that Tris, who could be just as fucking hot headed as Elle, didn't decide going after Tyler would be a good idea too.

I can only roll my eyes and walk over to Emma who is talking to Elise and Caleb. My eyes follow Elle and Tris until they are out of the lodge and with a sigh I wait. I am tense but so is Caleb. Elise and Emma are trying to occupy us with talk but after five minutes I can't take anymore and I bolt up to go find Logan. Caleb apparently was hot on my tail because when I found Logan by the fire he stood beside me.

"I am seriously worried that Tris might have just taken her back to do it in person. If he pissed her or them off enough she would do just that." Caleb was the one to bring up what I think was on all of our minds.

I didn't even give a shit that Four was glaring at me as I stood there with Logan, Caleb, and Zeke.

Logan sighed and frowned. "Fuck it! Let's go see if we can find them."

With that we start walking around the lodge. We go as a group and draw worried looks from a few as we walk along. It might have been better to split up but I could tell by the looks Four was shooting me and Zeke was giving us both, that wasn't going to happen.

By chance we had gone in the same direction that I had taken Elle earlier and heard laughter as we got to the place where you round the corner to reach the hot springs area.

There is a fucking huge collective of male relieved breaths being let out that caused Zeke to chuckle a little. I have to admit even my own lips twitched at it. It isn't all because we found them and they aren't off to kill Tyler, but because Elle is laughing, a good sign for us all.

Four called out as we all approached where the girls were barely visible in the dark, sitting on a bench.

"Well it doesn't sound like she is too broken up. So maybe we don't need to send out the hit squad."

Tris is the one to reply. "Elle is just fine, thank you very much. My sister knows how to handle herself and assholes like Tyler. He still isn't getting the hint judging by the amount of messages and calls that have been flooding her phone since she told him to fuck off. So we will need to get her message/number information changed and soon."

I can barely see Elle moving to check her phone while Caleb moves forward. I am still fuming but my mind is also whirling. He won't stop threatening her or sending out messages, not for a while. We could use that against him.

"Give it here Elle and I will get that all taken care of." I hear Caleb say in the middle of my thoughts that are whirling.

I shake my head as I put what I am thinking out there. "Before you wipe anything though send those messages that he sent, to Tris, and copy leadership please. We want to document it if he keeps harassing her and he already verbally threatened her."

I would need to talk to Tris but I think it might be better to just get her a new fucking phone altogether and leave that one open. Let this asshole hang himself.

I could tell from the way that Caleb tensed and his posture that he was fully capable of the fire that his sisters had. I could also hear it in his voice when he spoke. "I will certainly do that. I'll get the phone back to you in the morning Elle but we won't about that right now. I just wanted to make sure you were ok. You two were gone so long we were worried that you took off to gut Tyler and Tris went along with you."

Elle dropped the phone into her brother's hand with a chuckle. "No, but I think Tris almost bolted after him with some of the shit he was saying."

Tris growled and I could tell was speaking through a clenched jaw. My body tensed and I braced myself to hear just what he had spewed out to hurt Elle. "He will be lucky if I don't do that anyways when I get back. Calling my sister his little bitch and a bad lay. I am seriously fucking contemplating pinning him to the fucking target board with my knives and then seeing just how close to his shit I can get without causing serious damage."

I am going to kill him! I am going to take him to that little known spot in the chasm….beat him until he is barely breathing and then leave his ass right under one of the streams of water that will make it an automatic waterboarding machine for me.

He would use that against her knowing that would be the one area Elle was like an Abnegation. Her insecurity about herself and her sexuality. I know that is exactly why he said it. I am proved right when Logan senses all of that rearing up in Elle and stomps over to her.

He is over to her and squatting with her face captured in his hand so fast it would make the head spin. I can tell he is just as furious at Tyler as I am right now but his focus is her.

"Elle, stop that shit right now. I mean it. Don't let that fucker get inside your head. We can talk about this later if you want just remember the fucking whiskey. For right now I will say this shit. A _real_ man doesn't stoop to that and for fucking sure not one that loves the person he is saying he does. Those are his issues not yours so don't listen to his shit about that at all. Got me?"

"Got it, and yeah we would need the whiskey for sure." Elle's voice is small and filled still with hurt but also a little humor about something with Logan.

Logan laughs as he shakes his head. "I haven't turned that fucking red since I was in diapers. So yeah, we'll whiskey up for the conversation."

I don't even think I want to know what all that conversation entailed to be able to rattle Logan. Elle leans out and hugs him to reply. "Thank you Logan. If it makes you feel any better that conversation helped to put the lid on the coffin that was a fucked up relationship."

Logan laughed again. "Well at least some fucking good came out of that awkwardness. Speaking of, can we go get dinner down now and then relax around that bonfire that blazing?"

Elle pulled back with a nod and I could only feel both relieved and impatient. I also didn't want to go back with the group just yet. I wanted alone time with Elle to make sure she really is ok. That isn't going to happen with Four lurking near.

That predicament is solved when, surprisingly, Tris pulls Four along with her. "Come on Four, go buy me a beer or something. I feel like I need one too."

He didn't want to go if the struggle to get him to leave was any indication. He finally did and soon it was just Elle and I. Judging by the fact that she hadn't even tried to get up I assume she wanted this time with me too.

I waste no time in kneeling in front of her again and cupping her cheek. I just want to reassure myself and comfort her if I can. When my thumb ghosts over faint wetness I can feel the growl bubble up from me.

"You've been crying." That alone, for that alone, I will make it a painful and short existence for Tyler.

Elle nods and leans into my hand with a small sigh. "Yes, but not because I am sorry I ended things. I think they were tears of anger at myself or being pissed off in general."

It takes a moment for me to register that. To register and believe that she isn't heartbroken by and from the asshole. I am not stupid and though I know she didn't want to be with Tyler the way she was and that she didn't feel an attraction for him, I know she also cared for him. She wouldn't be Elle or the woman I love if she was capable of giving of herself like that and not caring deeply.

That she isn't destroyed or heartbroken...that she is more upset with the situation or herself, seems to be to good to be true at this point. But I feel relief flood me as I sigh finally. "So you are ok?"

I can feel her frown in my hand as she nods. "As ok as I can be with being disappointed in myself. But yes I am ok."

I can't help the smile that comes over me. She continually surprises me and if I have anything to say about she will continue to do so as we turn old and fucking grey together. Although I might go a little grey sooner knowing Elle.

All I can think of now is kissing her as I trace her lips with my thumb. "Good." I reply softly and restrain myself. I still need to know how she feels about our earlier conversation and I have a feeling she talked to Tris about more than just things with Tyler. "Did talking to Tris help?"

She swallows and her heart picks up. I forget my resolve to find out if she has come to a decision as I raise up slightly and take her mouth in the softest of kisses.

That first kiss we shared had started out with electrical jolts of pleasure, this one started with a firestorm. One that had Elle instantly giving a sigh and moan then scooting forward to wrap her arms around my neck. There is no having to ask for entrance as both of our tongues are seeking each other out just as my arms wrap around her waist.

I need her closer. There is a burning need building in me but I take my time with this kiss, with her. The spice of the rum from her drink combines with the sweetness that is Elle and makes the slow savoring pace even more intoxicating.

When the urgency started to build we both knew we had to pull back, however reluctantly it might be.

I am barely restraining myself. I have never felt this before and I had no idea that it would be this way with her. This fucking ache that isn't physical only. Something deep inside me that only she can fill.

"Elle" I whisper her name against her lips. I am pleading with her for something but even I don't know what. I just know I need her.

"Eric" Her tone in that whisper matches my need and feel pleasure that maybe she understands and feels the same.

She doesn't give me time to vocalize anymore or ask the question that I want to ask before she kisses me again. The kiss is different though because she sweetly and tentatively sucks my lower lip into her mouth.

Pleasure and desire rages through my blood as I growl in response. I let her have her way with the kiss as much as I can but the need for her body against mine gets too much.

I stand and bring her up with me until she is pressed against my body. She fits perfectly and feels amazing there. I don't even remember when I started to take possession of her mouth, but I do.

It is like some floodgate opened in her and I could feel her passion pouring out of her just as mine was me. Our hands had started to grope when I hear the laughs of children and with a great force of effort we break away as Zoe and the twins come skipping over to us.

"Elle and Eric, we want to eat! You have to come!" Zoe rushes up to Elle and takes her hand while the twins rush straight for me and begin their favorite game of trying to climb me.

"We'll then let's go feed the gremlins." I laugh out as I reach down to scoop them up amid their squeals of laughter.

I haven't forgotten Elle and where we left off so I lean down to whisper to her. "We will finish that conversation later Elle." My voice is still full of desire and promise. She shivers a little but answers in the same tone.

"I am looking forward to it." Her voice is a breathy purr and I can't help the growl that escapes me from the desire it shoots through me.

The kids are jabbering as we walk to the lodge. As soon as we enter the twins are eager to be down so I let them run off with Zoe while Elle and I stay close. She might not have said the words she is mine but that kiss and our reactions to each other. That need I felt in myself but returned in her...I know her answer.

As far as I am concerned that is all I need for now. I know we will still need to talk. I can tell as Four is glaring at us while we get food and sit pressed close together that she is worried. I am not stupid and I know that even though Four has no leg to stand on he can still cause trouble in other ways. Ways that if he is smart he won't do. I can stand him taking shots at me. I can stand him trying to mess with my position. I can take anything that he tries to do to _me_. Fuck if I am going to have him doing _anything_ Elle. Period.

For now I enjoy the dinner and the night being next to Elle and knowing this was all going to lead to where I feel like I have waited my whole life to be. Beside her, for as long as I was a lucky enough son of a bitch and she allowed me to be.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

With dinner over we all headed outside to enjoy the night, the bonfire, various drinks and the company. Looking around as I stood with Logan and Uri, a drink in my hand and Elle exchanging smiles with me as she sat with her friend. I felt relaxed in a way I haven't felt it a long while.

I can tell just looking around that this is mirrored all over.

Uri was in the middle of talking about the changes we are going to have going on now that there would be no jumping from the train after the choosing ceremony.

"I was thinking with the Zip-lining we did earlier. What if we combined that with something for the final part after the choosing ceremony. There won't be any more training and they will be considered members. What if we set up a zip-line near the compound and at the end they have to drop from the zip-line? There are plenty of areas that have large enough holes in the roof to support that and we could set up nets or bags in the area they would drop from." Uri gets out excitedly with a smile.

I can only chuckle thinking that Elle is influencing the Pedrad's greatly. Not in a bad way because that is a pretty damn good idea.

Logan smirks and chuckles. "Elle is corrupting the pranksters even more. That is a pretty fucking great idea. We were all talking about it in a leader meeting the other day. It is kind of anticlimactic now with Academy for them after the choosing ceremony to do the same things we have always done."

I nod and take a sip of my beer but can't even respond. The three of us have our attention automatically going to Elle and Zaria as they leap up from their seats and run off laughing as they push each other.

Smiles cross our faces but at the same time I wonder what she is getting up to now. My eyes are trained on them as they disappear into the lodge.

Uri coughs and sips his beer as he tries to hide a smirk. I quirk an eyebrow at him. "Got something to say Pedrad?"

Uri shrugs and laughs as he shakes his head. "Nah. I think I would like to keep my skin in place. I will mention that those of us that are close to Elle, the ones that don't have names that are numbers anyways, are looking forward to something. Hoping it happens soon anyways."

He says pointedly as he looks at me before a grin breaks out on his face and he chugs a beer at my lips twitching. Logan outright laughs.

"You aren't nearly as good at hiding that shit as you thought you were Eric." Logan said with a shrug.

I can only sigh and smirk. "I don't know that I care anymore. I don't know that I want to hide that from her or the people that matter to her. I had to do it at the time….she needed it…."

Uri and Logan give a scoff and Logan shakes his head. "I think _you_ were the only one that thought she needed that. Not that I don't get why you did it, you wanted her to find herself."

Uri nods and looks at me with a serious expression. "Zeke and I….we both agree and we really respect that. Not everyone knows everything you did for her Eric. It isn't our place to say shit either. But knowing you did it because you wanted to make sure she was taken care of but not control her. Holding yourself back...man I can't even imagine. You have my respect and support. So, when shit hits the fan with a certain person, just know Zeke and I have your back."

To say that I am stunned is an understatement. I knew that I had hoped what I had done for Elle would ease things with her friends and family. I didn't expect it to not only ease things but to….have me accepted and even being defended by them.

Logan grins at me and shrugs so I chuckle and shake my head. "Thanks Uri. That….that means a lot to me."

His cheesy smile is on full display as he shrugs. It is also completely forgotten the moment I see Elle step back out of the lodge. She is wearing cut off shorts and a swimsuit top with her hair all piled up on top of her head. I can't stop my eyes from moving over her or the desire that is just flooding me again. It seems to always be there, just boiling under the surface and the simplest of things set it off.

They start to get closer and Logan shakes his head with a smirk at her. "Don't think you are getting away with sneaking those bottles in the towel you are carrying." He shrugs when she glares at him. "Well at least not getting away with drinking them alone."

She smirks and rolls her eyes. "I kind of already knew to expect that Logan. Zaria and I just had the initiative to get the ball rolling."

Her eyes moved over to me and she started to blush when she noticed my eyes moving over her. I smirk when I see her swallow at my looks to her. I had to look away because fuck if I didn't want to just pull her against me right there and start kissing along her neck.

I look to Logan and raise an eyebrow in question. They had already moved off and Logan was laughing. "Like I am about to say no. I am sure everyone will start migrating over there soon anyways. Might as well get a jump on it too."

I need no second signal as we both head into the lodge and start to get changed. Uri had taken the time to start spreading the word. I was torn between being a little relieved that there were going to be other people joining us soon. I had no intention of staying away from her in there but it was going to be hard to resist doing more than just sitting close to her.

It doesn't take long to get to my room and throw on my trunks and grab a towel. By the time I am done Logan is waiting for me and we follow a few others to the hotsprings.

"Bow chica wow wow." Is sung followed by laughter, floating faintly to us as we walk a little behind Scott and Hector.

"Well fuck that. We don't need a bunch of drunk horny ass Dauntless being set off by fucking lights. I don't need to see that shit again." Elle's voice is shouting back to Zaria.

Scott starts muttering as he rounds the corner first. "Well then you should learn to knock Elle!" He yells at her and I am growling and glaring.

I don't even know I am doing it until Logan elbows me as we round the corner too.

Elle blushes in the solar lights that surround the area now. "Scott I didn't need to see that much of Tonya. Thank the gods that you weren't in that ten second flash, but I still can't look at Tonya. Not without seeing…." she shudders then huffs, causing my lips to twitch a little in amusement. "Not enough whiskey in the world to burn that image out of my mind. Maybe tequila will help." She mutters at the end and walks over to where Zaria is waiting, laughing and holding out a bottle for her.

As she climbs in I move to put my stuff down where I see her things. I had cast a quick look at the system she had been fiddling with and couldn't help but feel impressed with the set up.

They are clinking bottles together as I slide into the water beside her. I can't even help how fucking close I get to her or how good it feels when just that little bit of her bare skin sliding across my side is.

She shivers, lets her head fall back to the stones on the edge and closes her eyes. I swear I see her muttering under her breath and I chuckled before I take the bottle from her.

More to give myself something to do and mask my own reaction as well. I can't even imagine what seeing her reaction and expressions while we are doing other things will do to me.

She opens one eye and watches me as I take a drink, flushing and then sighs. She looks to Zaria and narrows her eye at Zaria obviously being pleased with what is going on. I roll my eyes a little.

"So what did you need to talk about Zaria?" She asks as she grabs her beer and starts to sip it.

Zaria takes a big drink of hers and sighs. "Well what you said earlier about learning from the relationship and not letting yourself regret it. That and about that not all first times are great or like Four and Tris…"

Elle blushes and stiffens a little as she side eyes me. I try not to let it kill me. The reminder of who her first time was with and how it all ended. The fact that she can look at it like that….that she isn't letting it get her down, helps a little but I still hate that she didn't have the experience she deserved. That it wasn't with me. I had no one but myself to blame for that though.

"Yeah. What about it?" She replies to Zaria.

"Well when we talked the other day and I was ranting at you about Tyler. You said the same thing you always did about that you don't just give up on something because it is hard or doesn't match up to what you might have imagined. It got me thinking about Tank." Zaria's voice went soft and strained there at the end.

I cast my mind and remembered that her and Tank had been together for a long while until they suddenly broke things off. Everyone expected things to end for those two like it had for Zeke and Shauna or Uri and Mar.

Elle sighed and nodded. "You miss him." She stated simply.

Zaria nodded and looked bordering on tears. I could also tell her friends pain was hurting Elle. So to comfort Elle and help Zaria, I reached behind Elle to hand Zaria the bottle of tequila. When Zaria took the bottle I didn't move my arm from behind Elle.

She looked over to me in surprise and I winked at her. When more people started to get in the springs her expression turned questioning and worried. There was no way I was pulling away though. Maybe I should but I was in this to be with her. The sooner Four and the others got used to it the better. So I just shook my head and let a small smirk cross my face.

Logan had asked for the bottle and was looking at the two of us with a smirk that I knew was his "fucking finally" expression.

"Yeah I miss him. I am sure you know he wasn't the one that ended things either." Zaria turned to face Elle.

Elle nodded and smiled. "Yeah. He was pretty broken up about it and came to me begging to tell him what he did."

She frowned into her beer then tipped it back. "It wasn't anything he did. Not really Elle. It just felt too perfect. When we argued it hurt but then when we made up or came to some resolution it was like I felt such relief that we weren't angry at each other. Like part of myself was whole again. I got scared Elle. I was sixteen and I didn't want to feel that way so young. I felt like maybe it was only because he was my first."

I watch Elle's face closely for her reaction to her friend. Wondering how she feels but also understanding how Zaria felt. Hell I feel that way and I am in my twenties. The depth of feeling for Elle, it is scary as hell. It is also the best thing I have ever had in my life.

Elle chews on her lip, her forehead furrowed. "Yeah maybe you were scared but you aren't wrong about being young. Remember what I also said about my experience. I know what I don't want now. Now you know what you do and don't want."

It takes everything in my not to let my arm go over Elle's shoulders and pull her closer to my side. There are times when the depth of her maturity and the way she handles things blows me away.

I can honestly say that from the moment I met Elle and seeing how she handled things; changed me. How mature this fiery and passionate girl could be, made me feel petty as shit about all my old hang ups. It has taken me some time but I try to be better. For her and for myself.

Zaria nods and looks like she might start to cry but something in her causes her back to go straight and her chin to raise. Elle must know because she smirks at her friend and winks at her. "Then I guess Tank better get ready. Because I will get his stubborn ass back."

Elle laughs and sips her beer. "I feel sorry for any girl that tries to get in the way of that shit. But I don't think you will have to work too hard Zaria. He was always waiting for you. He told me he would. Not that I was telling you that shit. But he told me that he would give you the space you needed."

Well if that doesn't sound fucking familiar….

Zaria smiles the famous Pedrad smile. "I love you Elle. I am sorry I have been such a…."

Whatever she was going to say is cut off when Elle huffs and splashes her. "Enough of the touchy feely shit or being all introspective. We are here to relax and drink." She gets a wicked smirk as she looks to Emma who is sliding into the springs beside Logan. "And maybe get my favorite professor drunk again."

Emma looks stunned for a moment as she blushes, causing Elle to grin even deeper. "As long as there is coffee and aspirin and we don't pass out on a lab floor again. I think I will be ok.

I can only start quietly laughing because I can't even imagine my sweet, proper sister drunk off her ass and passed out in a lab at Erudite. I also am laughing at Logan's look to Elle at the moment. "Elle you are a terrible fucking influence." He mutters and then passes the tequila to Emma with a resigned sigh.

Elle tenses beside me and her head moves as she looks between the two of them, her eyes narrowed. I can see the wheels moving and her connecting things. "Holy shit!" She cries out.

I lean over to whisper to her. "Pretty observant of you Elle. Let them work things out on their own though."

I don't think it will be long but at the moment her face turns up to mine I lose all thought of my sister and best friend.

Our faces are so achingly close. All I want to do...all I am pulled to do...is to lean in to kiss her. I also know that now isn't the time or place. So I do the only thing I can do at the moment as we move closer to each other's sides.

As we sit in the relaxing waters, sipping on bottles that are being passed around, we just talk about nothing important and enjoy things. Down the way Four is shooting glares to us but Tris appears to be trying to distract him.

I also catch Uri and Zeke whispering excitedly and I can't help a slight grin because I know what is coming up. One of the games they love to play, most likely.

When Zeke slipped away and came back with fresh bottles of things he made the announcement I knew would be coming.

"Alright game time! Candor or Dauntless." He called with a grin and Elle instantly groaned beside me then huffed angrily.

"Well, it's been real, but I think I am done for the night." She frowns and starts to get out but I am already reaching out to stop her. My arm that was around her shoulder and a hand under the water locks her into place.

Logan smirks at her while Emma giggles with a goofy grin on her face. Oh yeah, she is buzzed. "Ah come on Elle. Are you too chicken?"

Yeah, Elle isn't going anywhere now. She can't back down from a challenge. She scowls at Emma and the laughs coming from everyone at that. "Fuck no. They just stopped giving me the Dauntless option and their questions are just weird. So I don't find a need to play."

"You're playing Elle!" Tris yells out with a knowing smirk. "You pick Candor a few times and we will make sure to give you a Dauntless."

Elle pouts and I bite my lip to stop myself from groaning at the expression that makes me want to kiss the shit out of her. "Did you guys plan this shit to wait until I was in a bathing suit? I think you did because you knew I would just go put on more layers if we were outside of a damn body of water."

Zaria, Scott and Hector start rubbing their hands as if plotting gleefully. She shoots them the middle finger. "I know where you fuckers will be sleeping in a few days. Just remember that. All I am saying. Damn it someone better pass me something to drink to handle this shit."

I don't even try to hide my grin at how salty she is being about being forced to play this game. Logan holds out a bottle of whiskey to her with a wink.

"Alright we will start out with Zeke since he so kindly suggested the game." Logan yelled out, knowing it would save Elle from being picked right away.

The game started and I hadn't moved my arm from her shoulders. It wasn't all the way down because Four was still glaring madly at us. I also hadn't moved the hand under the water from her arm. I couldn't. It was like I was fucking glued to her now that I had made contact.

When it finally got to Elle, Zaria was the one to give her the challenge. She winked wickedly at Elle before she spoke.

"Elle. Well you get Candor because you haven't earned you Dauntless yet." She smirked wickedly and Elle shivered then drank deeply from the bottle she had. "What exactly was that experiment you and Mrs. Olson worked on and when did you do this experiment?"

I swallowed and closed my eyes. Fucking hell. I knew this was going to come back up. I wanted to know….but didn't at the same time.

Elle starts to turn bright red and Emma blushes too. Then Emma shocks the hell out of me, and I think Elle too, as she giggles and shakes her head. "Yeah Elle. What was the experiment?"

Elle's jaw drops and her eyes go wide in horror. "Emma! What the fuck happened to pain of death and vowing to never speak of it?"

Emma shrugs and I know now she is bordering on drunk, as she smirks. "I wasn't the brains behind it. I just helped put my stamp of approval on it so Dr. Carver would pick it up."

Dr. Carver? Fuck...what was it he handled again?

Caleb answers for me as he turns to look at Elle and quirks an eyebrow confused. "Elle what were you doing working on something in psychology affecting physiology?"

That was sim-tech territory. Not something I would see Elle ever getting involved in.

Elle growls and scowls at him. "One question and that wasn't it." She takes a breath and curses lowly.

She looks around as if to get help from someone, anyone but it isn't happening. Everyone wants to know. "Logan, Caleb, Four….you might need a shot….or ten. So not fucking playing right now. Hell...give me a moment."

She gets out and I can tell...I don't think I am going to be able to handle whatever the fuck this experiment was with her acting like this. I groan and as soon as she finishes with her drink I take the bottle from her and tip it back.

Logan starts turning red and reaches for the bottle as I finish.

Elle takes a deep breath and I can feel the heat from her skin increase. "Fuck it! Ok. I got curious what a male actually….you know feels when he ejaculates...or a girl for that matter. So I created a serum that would allow a person male or female to experience the mental and physical aspect of those things. They don't have to be in the same room. The two people take the serum then do whatever it is that they fucking want to do. I even created a portable little node station that is connected via the network so they can be across the city from each other. Next thing you know you are both feeling everything the other does. I never went through with the experiments myself because….well I got sober and I didn't have a partner I wanted to experience it with anyways. Might not have even thought of it if I did." She mutters causing Tris and Logan to snicker into their drinks. I would react but I am still feeling like the fucking wind was taken from my lungs.

"Also, Dr. Carver said I needed to have people who were completely unaware of the project and how it worked at all to get a good analysis. Apparently Mrs. Carver still sings my praises though and Dr. Carver doesn't act like such a pompous dick anymore. Satisfied Zaria?" Elle finishes in a rush.

Mouths dropped open everywhere while some people were laughing. My mind was still processing things. The level of intelligence to be able to pull off something of that scope alone had me turned on as hell.

Even fucking Jeanine hadn't come up with the sim serum idea or tech that was used. That was someone else. Elle outstripped even the supposedly smartest Erudite that ever lived. She was fucking brilliant but the fact that she didn't act entitled or use that intelligence but for helping others or Dauntless….gods I just could not even handle everything about what she just divulged.

My desire levels were through the roof. One thing that was sticking with me from it...she has never had an orgasm...or hadn't...with Tyler at least. That just made it worse and I couldn't not show it was affecting me.

I leaned closer to her ear. "Yeah we need to have that conversation soon Elle." I got out in a low strained voice. When she looked over to me I know my nostrils were flared and my eyes dilated.

Zaria cleared her throat drawing my attention away from Elle for the moment as I tried to get my breathing under control. "Not quite because I asked when you created it."

Elle gets even more red. "A month and a half ago." She answers quietly.

At first I wonder why that is so significant until Tris and Logan both start laughing. "Fuck. That almost made my night Elle. That and you dumping his ass finally." Logan says with a big smile.

So she did it just after she became intimate with him….feeling unsatisfied. Yeah, I am feeling smug as shit right now too.

"So glad I could be here for your amusement Logan. My turn." She gets a wicked grin as she looks between Logan and Emma.

I already know what is coming. I just hope she remembers turnabout is fair play here. I smirk as she turns to Emma.

"Emma dear. Candor or Dauntless." Her tone is way too innocent and sweet.

Emma still has the goofy smile on her face, pressed close to Logan. She narrows her eyes for a moment at Elle and then shrugs. "Dauntless!" She calls out defiantly.

The flash of wicked delight that crosses Elle's face seriously sends a shiver down me that I work hard to hold back. Then everything is gone from her face and she keeps her tone bored as she shrugs. "Ok. If you say so. How about you…." she tilts her head as if she is thinking. "Fuck it. I guess a one minute kiss with the person to your right."

Of course Logan was the person to her right.

Logan and Emma swallow as Emma's eyes go wide. Then my sister's chin raises and she turns, moves to sit in his lap, and all resistance for them both broke. Their eyes locked just before Logan pulled her to him. I could tell years of longing and desperation were in that kiss.

"Well damn." Elle mutters and I look down to her.

"You know you invited her to do the same to you now." I shrug with a smirk because honestly I looked forward to it. I wanted it. I wanted to make this known and have her to myself and in the open. I didn't want to hide things or her. She was too good for that and I refused to be afraid to be able to show her the respect she deserves.

"That would be bad with the whole Four thing Eric." She growls and I narrow my eyes as I tilt my head and ponder the question I have been waiting to be able to answer. To know if she wanted this and us.

"Is that your only reservation about us? How Four is going to react?" I am tense, hoping that is the only thing but honestly I don't know. She just ended her first fucking relationship so I don't know.

"I just don't want him getting you in trouble Eric. I am a dependent and all that." She frowns as she answers but I can tell that is the truth for her.

I feel relief swept through me as I relax and smirk. "You are an of age Dauntless faction member. The rules are different after 18 Elle. Part of why I had to wait. Oh, he will still be an ass and cause shit but I don't give a fuck. Not if you think you can handle it."

I guess Emma and Logan have broken apart when Zeke had called out in a laugh that it was time. I don't really know because Elle and I are locked on each other as I wait for her decision. I am holding my breath.

"I already told Tris about it Eric. I am not worried about her and I. Four will come around eventually. It will be rough for a while but he will get over it. As long as you can't get in trouble...then…."

I let out my breath slowly as relief and pleasure course through me. I don't even wait as I pull her closer. That was all I was waiting for. I don't give a shit what Four does or says from here as long as I know Elle wants this and me. I lean closer to her and whisper. "I won't hide us Elle. But you know how I am in training and when doing my leader duties. At Academy I will be harder on you but no more than I have always been. It will never be personal though. Just remember that."

She nods and swallows as I finally let my arm go all the way over her shoulders. When we finally look away I see Logan and my sister smiling at each other but then to us.

"My turn!" Emma chirps out. She doesn't even look at Elle but instead focuses on me. I know why she is doing this though. If anyone….fucking Four...is going to get upset, it will be at me and not Elle.

"Eric. Candor or…"

"You know better Emma. Dauntless." I interrupt her in my normal tone so that I don't show how much I am wanting her challenge to me.

She smirks, pleased, and looks to Logan. They start to whisper before she looks back to me. "Same thing that Elle challenged me to. The person on your right."

As expected the growl and outburst from Four comes. "Umm, how about hell no…." Tris elbows and interrupts hum.

"Rules are rules. The challenge has been made." Tris smirks at Elle then winks.

Elle is turning so red I can feel the heat coming from her. I shrug casually and pull Elle onto my lap. Worry does creep through me so if she wants me to...I will back out of this. "Look at me Elle." I command her softly.

She turns her head to look at me, biting her lip in worry. I reach up to cup her cheek and stroke my thumb over it softly. I want this but I won't push her. "I can back out if you want." I tell her softly.

She doesn't answer other than to shake her head and starts to lean forward. That is all I need before I am leaning in too. Like the other times, the kiss is electrifying from the moment our lips meet. I forget that we are in a hot springs surrounded by others. I forget that her sister and Four are there watching us and probably freaking out.

All that matters is her in my arms openly and I don't want to stop. Her arms go around my neck, her chest pressing against my skin and I can feel the racing of her heart.

My hands run along her waist and hips trying to pull her even closer, frustrated that it isn't possible. Her moans and sighs as I kiss her are driving me crazy with need and I know that my arousal is pressing against her thigh. After I suck on her bottom lip and nip it gently I can only smirk because suddenly her hands are in my hair as she picks up her passion in the kiss.

At some point our sense of where we are returns and I know I have to pull away. I think the time long since passed because I hear snickering and laughter. I don't give a shit and just keep Elle close as we press our foreheads together. Her breathing matches mine and are chests are pressing even closer together as they heave against each other.

"Well, can't say we didn't see that coming." I hear Zeke mutter.

"Bout damn time." Logan says in a smug laughing tone until I hear my sister having hit him or something.

When I am under control again I kiss her forehead. "We take our time on this Elle. Or at least….I am really going to try here." I know my voice is filled with lust, husky and strained. I really am going to try and take our time but I have never felt desire like Elle makes me feel.

She nods and laughs a little. "I can't promise the same." I can hear the absolute truth in her tone and it has me groaning.

I nod knowing that things are going to get rough….from trying to hold back and from what I know I am going to have to face with Four. "Yeah Four is going to be out for blood soon. Speaking of…"

We both pull away and look around. Pretty much everyone had gone about their business, or at least pointedly looking to be minding their own business. The game was on hold until I went I am guessing so everyone was involved in other discussions.

Tris and Four were nowhere to be seen.

Elle looks to where Logan and Emma are, their own position mirroring Elle and mine. With Emma still in Logan's lap with her arms around his neck. "Tris drug him away. He'll be fine. She grabbed a bottle before she left so I don't think they will be back for the rest of the night." Logan informed us with a smirk.

Elle gets a small grin and starts looking around. I notice that several of the girls are talking to their significant others and eyeing Elle hardcore. The biggest one of these is Chris who looks like is about be on a mission for something. Will is just turning red.

Elle sighs and groans. "Another reason I didn't want to say anything about that experiment and project." She mutters to me and I can't help but to laugh a little.

"So you are seeing the looks of most of the girls around here too? By the way…" I lean in and brush my lips against her ear as I say this "There will come a time when we will be testing that out." My voice is full of promise and just the thought of it has my desire on full blast again. It is made even worse by the shiver and moan that comes from her. I know I have an arrogant smirk on my face when I remember her saying she didn't have a partner that she wanted to try it with.

She is going to be a handful, I can' already tell. I will fucking welcome it though.

"You're up Eric" Logan call out to me and I look over to him, contemplating.

I think I am done for the night and Elle doesn't seem to want to play the game. So why not get us some time alone?

I shrug. "Pass. I got my fill for the night. Elle, would you like to go warm up in the lodge?" I really had meant my tone to be more innocent than it came out. I really am not going to try for anything other than being with her, holding her at most.

No matter how much the monster of lust is raging in me right now. No matter how well she is handling the break up….I don't want her to regret something come the end of the weekend. I have am playing for the long game with Elle here. I have from the moment I met her. I can get through a fucking weekend….I hope.

"Yes please." Elle answers in this breathy voice that makes me want to groan.

I might get through the weekend or might just burst into fucking flames before the night ends.

"Good answer. I pass my turn on to Uri." I say in the most level tone I can manage. I lift her up to stand then hop out first. Once I have her towel I hold my hand out to help her out.

I love that she gets all bashful about that but for our kiss it had been nowhere in sight. Little things have and always matter to Elle. When she is out I wrap her in her towel and grab both of our things. Without another word or look I take her hand and lead her away to the lodge.

When we pass Max and Elise among some of the other Senior members, Max smirks at us and nods approvingly to me. He is wearing a similar expression to what Logan had been wearing of 'fucking finally'.

I nod back to him but try to keep my expression neutral. I didn't want to bring to much attention to that or try to make Elle feel uncomfortable. I could already tell she tensed when we were about to pass them. Most likely expecting me to drop her hand or move away. That just is not going to happen.

We keep walking as she frowns when she looks over to me. I can feel her eyes moving over me for a second before she shakes her head, as if clearing it.

"What the hell was that?" She asks quietly and I hear that fire building up in her voice.

I shrug as I look at her. It is going to come out sooner or later, maybe not everything I did. I don't expect that or need it to. Not even sure I want it to. I did those things because it made me happy to be able to do them for her. Her finding out would make feel like….I don't know...I just don't want her thinking I expect or expected shit from her for any of it.

"I told you I decided a long time ago. It was kind of hard to hide from the man I think of as a father and his wife who watches me like a hawk."

A small smile twitches at the corners of her lips and she bites her lip but doesn't say anything else as we keep walking.

When we get to her room, we pause and suddenly I am wondering what the fuck I was thinking bringing her back here. People would help to keep me in line but gods I just want to spend time with her alone. I am just going to risk and lock all of that crap down.

I am still holding her hand and we are facing each other. I squeeze her hand slightly before I speak. "I am going to get cleaned up and we can go down to the living room or we can go out onto the balconies outside. There is an outdoor fireplace near my room."

Jesus Eric! What happened to keeping yourself in check? Your room seriously? Fuck I so want her to pick that too, can't even help myself.

She doesn't even hesitate to answer. "The balcony sounds good."

I smile and nod. "My room is at the other side of the lodge but if you meet me downstairs in ten minutes."

She smiles and nods. I can't help it as I lean in to kiss her, only meaning it to be a soft and brief kiss. The things my lioness does to my control. Before I know it I am left growling as she jerks me closer to her, by wrapping her arms around my neck. Her back is arched into me as we kiss hungrily.

I remember myself and find the will to break apart. Leaving us both panting. I still have her close to me and am working hard to get myself under control. I am praying that door stays closed because if I see a bed the way I am feeling right now…

I don't even realize I am counting under my breath until Elle pops out a question.

"Does that work for you, because it has never for me where you are concerned."

The smug feeling I get helps to break the desire enough and I smirk as I shake my head. "Not really, but fuck if I don't have to try something Elle." I take a deep breath, to force myself to walk away and quick. "Ten minutes." I say in a final tone, maybe it was a command. I was more commanding myself to get away fast.

She nods as I hand her the shorts she had one before and I get the hell out of there before she can put her hand on the door. I am across the huge lodge and at the door of my room in sixty seconds flat. I am seriously just turning the cold water on full blast and standing under it for a few minutes.

In fact I think I am going to need it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

It doesn't take me long to get ready after I jumped into that cold shower to cool myself down. I decide to just put on whatever I have for sleepwear. It is getting late and being outside will be cooler.

Thinking of that I move out to the balcony and get the fire started and take everything in. We might want to grab an extra blanket but otherwise it should be comfortable enough for us to hang out.

I shouldn't be nervous all of the sudden. It isn't like we didn't hang out alone before. So much had happened between then and now though.

Shaking my head I head down to the kitchen area where Elle already is, cleaning of course. She also looks amazing in just her simple tank and pant pajama set, with her hair all down in a silken curtain. "You were fast." I say with a smile as I continue to look her over.

She smiles back at me, a small blush appearing on her cheeks as she looks me over too. "Yeah it doesn't take me long to get ready in general. Efficiency and all that. Besides I started to practice getting ready in the shortest amount of time because of that whole thing I proposed to Tris and she decided to bring it to leadership."

I can't help but smirk at the idea that the new time limit we were setting for the cadets to get ready in was proposed by Elle. "I knew Tris proposed it but I didn't know it came from you. Shouldn't be surprised though."

She shrugs and blushes a little more red. Ever so modest. She has been a revelation to me, a former Erudite, the faction that had no concept of that at all. Going to Dauntless any accomplishment great or small I wanted to lord it over people….before Elle that is.

"Did you want to take anything with us for when we are out there? I wouldn't mind a Irish coffee or something like that. And there is all kinds of food here…."

I can't help but move closer to her and pull her to me. I am full of the nerves at being alone but I don't even know how she might be feeling right now. I cup her cheek and search her eyes to see if I can find her own nerves or doubts reflected back at me. "That sounds good. I got the fire going and there is this big outdoor couch and ottoman out there. It should be comfortable enough, but we might want to grab a blanket from that cabinet near the laundry room. I just want to make sure you are going to be comfortable being away from everyone and alone with me Elle."

Confusion flashes in her eyes as she frowns, lifts up on her toes and kisses me softly. When she pulls back she looks back into my eyes. "Eric, I may be uncomfortable but only because of the attraction. That has only ever been the reason why I started to avoid you. I still remember those days shortly after I came to Dauntless and you were there when Logan couldn't be. I barely knew you then and I felt comfortable, well relatively." She blushed greatly at the end of saying that.

I felt relief that she wasn't scared or worried about being alone with me. I also felt pleasure that those days meant as much to her as they did me. "You have no idea how much I looked forward to those days. So much that I had to stop doing them Elle."

I am sure my tone is that of hoping she can understand. She nods to me. "I understand Eric. I really do."

Her tone suggested that she understood exactly why I had to stop...maybe she had been fighting her body just as much as I had been but she hadn't been able to place that yet.

"Let's get everything together and get up there before we get invaded whether we want to or not." I smirk just before I kiss her gently.

We move around the huge kitchen to get things together. I know they come fully equipped for whatever one might need so I am on the hunt for a thermos for the coffee while she starts filling a basket she found with things we both point out or she sees me looking at. The coffee brewed as we were putting it all together and by the time we had the Irish Coffee she wanted all assembled we heard voices from outside the lodge.

We shared a look and grab everything before stopping to get the blanket. I grab her hand and then we laugh as we do this brisk walk, she has to jog a little to match my stride, to where my room is.

When we get into the room I let go of her hand long enough to lock it, then take it again to lead her straight out to the balcony. I avoid looking at the bed because I can't even try and test myself right now.

She is beaming when we get to the doors and she takes it all in. "Wow, this is pretty amazing. Who ever thought of this idea with the outdoor fireplace, that view and lake, plus they put in tech….they need an award." Her voice is awed and pleased.

Her smile and enjoyment is infectious and I laugh as I lead her over to the couch area. Her smile gets wider at my own and then her look gets faraway and serious. Not a bad serious but as if something was occurring to her and it was...deep.

Wondering what about that could cause such thoughts I frown as we have finally reached the couch. I pull her to my side. "You look like you're thinking deep thoughts Elle."

She had already laid out the mugs, thermos and other items on the ottoman for us to be able to grab easily.

"I guess I was." She blushes as she looks at me. "I was thinking that I love your smile and laugh. It just reminded me that, like with Logan, you guys get to do that so rarely really. It's something I observed about all of the leaders or senior members that are still holding high level positions. No one thinks about the sacrifice you make when you take those positions. You aren't just expected to give of your time and body but your emotions and mentality. Having to keep up those shields so that those around you can enjoy themselves but don't get why you can't or won't. Then they hold it against you." She frowns at the end, realizing how much of a toll all that really does take on us, the leaders.

I can only hold her eyes for seconds while I am flooded with so many emotions. I always knew she saw me and that I always let or wanted to her to see the real me. I guess I never really got how much she truly saw. Not just about me but what I was willing to give for my faction and family. What we all were willing and required to give.

To know that going into this with the goal for us that I have in mind, that she knows, understands….it fills me with relief. I kiss her temple and breathe her in before I pull back with a sigh. "Yeah it sucks but we can hope we get lucky ad find someone that can understand that and see beyond it. Max is lucky he has Elise. Before she became leader even she understood and they balanced each other. You are right not many people get why we have to be the way we are. Not many people get why I have to be the way I am Elle."

She lays her head on my shoulder and wraps her arm around my waist. "I watched your actions Eric. Those were what I pulled my opinions from. Not what anyone else was trying to say, or even what your own words said sometimes. Although, I will admit I wasn't ever really sure if you even liked me. Especially the last few months."

I hated the pain in her voice and how small it got for an instant. I had hurt her and I hated myself for it. I tensed with the pain that lanced through me at what I had done before I sighed. "Yeah I was being a jealous dick. I hated seeing you with him but then knowing that you weren't even happy just made it worse. I at first said that I could deal with being friends but that didn't work out very well for me." I mutter that last bit, still angry at myself for my behavior towards her.

"You said you knew a while ago Eric….when did you know?" She asks quietly.

I debated not only the answer but what to tell her exactly. I decided that I would lay it all out there. If she asked I was going to tell her.

"Honestly Elle….probably the day I met you. There was just something that made me need to know more about you. How could this little stiff be so fierce and watching you take off and dropping that woman. I was in awe and then also pissed off because I was scared for someone. It scared the shit out of me how you just fucking charged in. Yeah you were capable but I had never felt like that about someone before. Then I was worried about how you were going to handle it all. They way you handled that even drew me in. So yea, that day was when it started for me."

Her eyes had moved to mine from the moment I started to speak. I let that show, the truth of what I was saying but...a little of the depth of feeling I have for her.

Her breath catches at my words but also what I am trying to show or hint at by letting it come through in my eyes. She lets out a small breath as she looks away for a moment but then looks back to me.

"I think it started for me then too." She takes a slow breath in. "I know you have seen me when I distance myself from things but did Logan ever tell you what really happens to me with that?"

I frown and nod wondering where she is going with this. "Yeah he told me a little bit about it. It's the the Erudite thing but more intense."

She bites her lip and nods a little. "The best I can explain it as is numbness. The emotions just aren't there to feel. I can pretty much go to that place anytime and anywhere and with almost anyone. Except those that to my core I trust. There are exactly five people I can't do that with. Three of them it would be a real struggle to do it if we were alone and one I just can't do it at all. No matter how I tried to Eric, pretty much from the beginning if we were alone or you were near there was no way I could go to that place. I trusted you from the first day but I also felt other things as well. I just didn't know what those things were until, well until Tyler. I only knew that we lacked what I felt, what a simple touch from you made me feel."

It is hard to describe the tangle of feelings her words brought to me all at once. Anger for her experience with Tyler and myself from holding back. Knowing we could have had all of this sooner had I not waited. Awed that from the beginning there had been this connection. Enough of one that she trusted me to her very depths on a level her own family couldn't touch. Desire for her and to experience more of everything she was waking up to under my touch. What only my touch could bring out in her.

I pull her into my lap, cupped her cheek and took her in at this moment. It was too soon by far to tell her how I knew I already feel. Too soon by millions of miles to tell her what I want for us and what I hope for my future with her in it. I savor the moment though, her in my arms at the start of that all.

That is what the kiss, when I bring her to me, starts out as. Gentle and savoring. That burning is still there but it is a slow building burn. My hands go to the sides of her face as we kiss more hungrily.

I am driven by the desire to taste her skin so I break the kiss to do just that. Kissing along her jaw and neck. Her pulse from her rapid beating heart pulsing under my lips when I get to that spot.

Both of her breathing has picked up as she strains just as much as I do with the more that we are both wanting.

"Eric" She moans softly when I bite along her neck, gently. Her skin, the feel of her and her sounds, are intoxicating to a level I know I won't be able to pull back from unless I stop now.

I go in for one last kiss for now before I press her to rest against my chest. Allowing me to draw enough breath to calm myself, to calm herself. Trying to steady the pounding of my heart and holding her close to me.

I need to tell her that as much as I want to I can't let us go there yet. She is too damn insecure about that after what Tyler has done to her. I won't put up with her not knowing how much I want her but why I am going to have to resist.

"Elle, I won't lie I want you so bad right now. But I can't let us go there yet. I know you said you aren't upset about the loss of him but you just ended it today. I don't want you to have any regrets about this and I also want to do this right with you." My voice is strained and not all from the desire as I speak quietly. I press a kiss to her forehead and close my eyes as I realize what exactly I almost said.

She blows at a frustrated breath that makes me chuckle and shake my head. I can already tell she is going to be persistent as hell. "I guess I can understand that. I can't promise I won't try and jump you, Eric. I can't seem to control the things you make me feel."

I am going to need to become Hercules here with how much I can barely control myself already. Add that I don't plan to stop kissing or holding her, I feel like I am willingly dancing at the edge of a volcano throwing dynamite in and thinking it won't erupt.

The volcano being Elle.

"Gods you are going to be trouble. Not that I would complain. But I would like to at least try and have some kind of self control around you. You are just making it very, very hard Elle." I say as I tighten my arms around her and sigh into her hair, breathing her in.

Elle gets an impish grin as she reaches for the mugs of coffee, fills them up and sits back with me. I grab the vid screen control and find one of the movies they have on their network.

We settle back, sip on the coffee and watch the movie while I have her close to me. I am amazed, considering just how on fire I had been for her, that pretty quickly I am feeling more relaxed than I can remember in the longest. It isn't all the alcohol that is causing it. Just having Elle like this with me is the main part. The way I can feel her melting into me and her own relaxation is seeping into me.

I can tell she is getting just as tired as I am. I know I don't want her going to her own room. I don't want her out of my arms. It might be tossing dynamite again but if she is willing then I don't give a shit.

"Do you want to stay here Elle?"

Her head is buried on my chest with her eyes closed and I feel her frown against me. "Do you want me to? I don't want to strain things."

"I don't want to let you go that is for sure. I want you to stay." I shrug as I answer honestly.

She nods, a small smile turning the corners of her mouth up. "I would like that Eric."

I didn't expect her to hesitate but it just shows me one more time how much she trusts me when she didn't. I hum my pleasure at that and tighten my hold around her again as I kiss the top of her head. "Ok baby, let's go to bed then."

We both get up, reluctant even though we know we won't be apart long. We must both have the same thought because we begin to straighten up the area and pack everything into the basket.

Once we get that done we make our way into the room and I start to pull the covers down. It fills me with amusement and pleasure that I barely get the covers down before Elle is shrugging out of her hoodie and crawling into bed.

As I am pulling off my shirt I hear a big sigh of pleasure as she settles down into the bed. My own sigh of pleasure soon follows when I lay down.

The bed is fucking amazing. The most comfortable thing I have ever laid on. Made only that much better when I get to pull her to me. Her back against my chest.

That gets an even bigger so from her as she covers my arms with hers and melts into me. As we drift to sleep I can't help but wonder if I am going to be able to let her sleep anywhere other than right beside me now. I know I still need to take my time with this.

I have loved Elle, known how much I wanted her and this, for so much longer than her. This is still new to her but I think it might be there for her too. However long it takes though...she is worth the wait. She always has been worth the wait.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: So we are almost caught up with Eric's POV up until they head off to Academy. I will be continuing Eric's POV off and on. I have a surprise planned as well coming up. I hope everyone is enjoying the new chapters.**

 **A guest review posed some questions and opinions. I just want to say I welcome all reviews and critiques because it means you are reading and I can learn to improve. So Guest-Shay thank you for reading and reviewing. To answer your opinion first...I don't think Elle is overshadowing Tris in Dauntless at all. We are seeing things from Eric's POV and of course...all he really sees is Elle. But...Tris is the one that came up with Academy proposal...became a leader in a short amount of time...got this huge change approved and is in charge of the whole shebang along with Eric. She was the one that came up with the different elements of survival training. Does Elle inspire some of the changes or does she inspire Tris. Yes. Just like Caleb inspires Elle and Tris does the same for Elle. That was long winded...but there you go. I will say also if that is how you are reading it then that is how you are reading it. Everyone gets different messages from what they read...that is what makes it so interesting. Zoe is a Pedrad but not Zeke or Shauna's kid. I hadn't said who she was but she is a niece to Zeke and Uri. As far as kids for Four and Tris...well they aren't married yet just engaged so that won't be happening just yet lol. Hope that answers your questions...couldn't message you as you are a guest.**

 **Now on to the show.**

 **Chapter 21**

I can't remember having slept as well as I do with Elle in my arms. I also can't remember being a time when I woke to anything as wonderful as her in my arms and hearing her moaning.

If I was aroused before that is nothing to her shifting and rubbing herself against me while moaning. Did I say I didn't give a shit that I was playing with an awakening volcano? I must be out of my damn mind.

"Elle, baby you are killing me right now." I get out finally as I try to control my breathing. My voice is still full of sleep but it is also full of lust too.

"I just….I woke up and felt you….then I started to feel…." I can't let her finish that because I am going to snap. I do snap at her breathy pleading tone.

I can't even help that I pull her to me and start kissing along her neck and jaw until I claim her mouth. This kiss is all hunger, for the both of us. I swear I can feel the heat radiating off of her and not just from her core. Her skin burns with the passion she holds inside.

I need to feel it against my skin as I run my hands along her body. I start to lose the grip on my resolve as one of her hands moves down my side along my ribs, abs and teases along the waistband of my sleep bottoms. One of my hands slips under her tank to cup her.

Her skin is on fire. I wasn't imaging it and that alone causes me to growl in approval but also her gasp when I brush my thumb over the fabric covering the her pearled nipple.

The gasp and her arching serves to wake up my mind, the one telling me I better not keep going or I will fuck this up. So I start to slow the kisses and pull back. Elle apparently isn't having it because she keeps digging her fingers into my side and sucking my tongue into her mouth to keep it going.

When I finally get us pulled away she breaks free with a growl of frustration and I can only pant as I shake my head. "Jesus Elle…." I get out finally, hovering near her mouth and still trying to pull back completely. "You are fucking stubborn as shit."

She pouts and pants at the same time causing me to chuckle. I am still chuckling when she starts to scowl. She finally gets herself under control and sighs. "I told you I couldn't promise anything. Blame yourself Eric. You shouldn't be so irresistible."

I smirk and raise an eyebrow, feeling pretty pleased by the feeding of my ego. "I am pretty damn irresistible. But so are you Elle."

She gets a grin because she knew I was going to comeback with something cocky. I knew she had expected it. But she also blushes and pleasure flashes through her eyes at my compliment. Just another reminder that I am going to make it a point to spoil her with reminders of what a beautiful person inside and out she is. Everyday for the rest of our lives I will make it a point to do that.

As soon as the flash is there it is gone as she pouts again. "Seems like you did just fine in resisting me." She grumbles and has these bright blue puppy dog eyes going on that almost melt all my fucking resolve.

I growl playfully to stifle the groan I feel coming on. Can't give her any more ammo to be able use on me. Then I start to tickle her. She squirms and tries to get away as she lets out musical laughter until she is almost crying.

She groans at one point and yells 'mercy' and 'coffee'.

"Coffee sounds wonderful right now." I agree with a smile as I kiss her forehead.

Coffee does sound amazing but I can say this is the best wake up I have had, ever, without it.

She gives an emphatic nod. "In fact I am going to go to the kitchen and get started on that."

I frown and pull her in tighter. I wish there were some fucking way to have both. Her in my bed and with coffee as I held her. I sigh when I realize wishes won't make it happen. "If you must. I guess no one is going to be bringing us any and I am sure no one is up besides us right now."

She nods again. "They usually aren't. I am pretty much always up well before even Tris and Four."

I smirk and wink at her. "I know. How do you think I knew where you got your coffee Elle. You were always either just leaving there or there when I would go get mine."

Realization came over her and she chuckled. "I had wondered how you knew."

I kissed her before she could throw out the word 'stalker' that I was calling myself in my own head. Then I lost that train of thought or any thought for a moment. Thank fuck she was able to help keep control of the kiss this time along with me. When we pulled away she went into the bathroom after I had put out my toothbrush for her to use.

I make the bed until she is done then I kiss her before stepping in myself. "I will be down in a bit Elle." I say after the kiss. Another one that is making my situation harder. Literally.

I could hear her humming in the room after I went in and closed the door with a groan. Over the last year I had gotten pretty damn good with being able to distract myself from the frustration and need for release that seemed a constant for me. During that year I hadn't had what I got a taste of over the last day so it took me a bit longer than normal.

"Jesus...I am not going to make it through another night at this rate." I mutter to myself as I get myself under control enough to be able to head downstairs.

While I was distracting myself I had come up with a sort of plan for tonight. There were no plans for a big dinner with everyone together. Logan and Tris had proposed that the second night could be left for everyone to do their own thing.

What I would really like is to have an evening with just Elle and I. A date. I wanted our first date to not be in the middle of Academy and what better setting than here. I also had decided that I wanted Elle to just have another phone so we could get more on Tyler.

With that I sent off a message to Caleb telling him that I would cover the expense of the replacement and if he could get that ordered today. Then I moved on to thinking about the date. Trying to plan something that was nice but not over the top.

I came to the conclusion I would need to talk to Logan or Emma. Or both. I had an idea for something but I was nervous as hell and would need help pulling it off.

Elle already had the coffee going and looked to be in the middle of cooking, go figure, breakfast already. It didn't surprise me at all. It was just another thing I loved so much about her.

I pull her to me for a kiss as she is in the middle of mixing a batter of what I can only assume is pancakes. It was gentle kiss and I smirked when she pouted after I pulled away quickly.

"Good morning by the way." I say with the smirk still in place.

She laughs and raises an eyebrow at me. "Good morning. I thought I would get started on breakfast to feed the mongrels. I know not everyone will wake up right away but I know at least Logan and Triss will wake up despite whatever they ended up doing."

She winks at me with an impish grin, causing me to laugh and nod. "Yeah, the smells might wake everyone up. What do you need help with Elle? And don't say you don't need help." I held up a hand to stop the objection I saw building in her.

She should know better after I insisted in helping prepare at least one of the dinners that she had made for the leaders. I wasn't going to take no for an answer but I also enjoyed doing all of that with her.

She smiled and shrugged. I could tell she remembered that time too and had enjoyed it as well. "I was going to do pancakes, french toast, eggs, bacon and sausage. The last two are in the oven, just easier that way. I can handle the pancakes if you want to do the eggs. Do you think we should do hashbrowns? A starch is usually pretty good with hangovers."

I can't but help smirk and shake my head thinking about her knowing what is good for a hangover or not. I have never seen her really drunk...thank gods. "Sure I can do the hashbrowns and eggs. I could be evil and make the eggs all fried or over easy eggs. That would sure help some people….right to the porcelain throne." I smirked wickedly and waggled my eyebrows, feeling playful.

She laughed, delighted at that. She stood on tiptoes and kissed me before she went back to stirring the batter. "Yeah that would be interesting but it has the horrid potential to backfire and put me off my appetite. We can save that prank for when we don't have to be there for the fireworks." Her tone was just as playful as well.

I didn't hold in my laughter and it rang through the kitchen. The coffee finally pulled me away from her and I went to make us two big mugs of it before I started the process of cracking enough eggs to feed this bunch.

I had just whipped in some cream and butter to the eggs along with seasoning when Logan and Emma made their sleepy way in. Like Elle and I, they were still in their pajamas.

Logan was also wearing a similar expression and happiness that I must be wearing. When he saw us both he got an even smugger look but a glare from Elle had him chuckling and keeping his mouth shut.

"Morning." He greeted us instead in his happy and relaxed morning voice.

"Morning sweetie, morning Eric." Emma was yawning as she shuffled past me to the coffee pot and greeted us. She was rubbing her eyes. Her dark blonde hair was down around her shoulders in the curls we both were born with. She usually tames them out with some kind of straightener.

"Morning guys." Elle greets them both with a small laugh as she continues to cook.

"Morning Sis, Logan. How did you two sleep?" I tried to keep my tone from being smug and the smirk from my lips. Emma could be a grump in the mornings.

I must have failed because Emma flushed and quirked an eyebrow at me over her cup of coffee. "Just fine _little_ brother." Her tone was testy and that grumpiness suggested I needed to keep my mouth shut.

My ears turned red causing Elle to laugh at me. I looked over at her and half seriously glared at her. "Keep that up Elle and I will find a way to get back at you." I leaned over to be closer to her ear. "Remember I am not the one with no willpower in this situation."

Her breath catches as a shiver causes her body to shake. Her eyes snap to mine all full of that fire. I am proud to say I contain my gulp at the defiance I see there. "Maybe Eric, but remember I am hell of stubborn and you are challenging me. We both remember how I am about being challenged. I have a problem with being able to back down." She gets a wicked smirk on her face.

I groan and scowl as I straighten back up. "You are so fucking going to kill me Elle."

She shrugs and starts to flip the pancakes. "Then don't challenge me if you can't handle it Eric."

Fuck the dynamite, I will just launch an RPG into that bitch. She isn't the only one that can't back down from a challenge.

Logan and Emma started to snicker causing me to want to meet her challenge even more. Before I could though Logan clears his throat. "So what did you want to do today Elle?"

Elle looked at Logan and I smirked when I saw she looked slightly relieved for his intervention. She started to blush when she saw exactly what I had been contemplating, then cleared her throat.

"We could do more zip-lining or a hike. I really did mean that Caleb gave me an idea about the whole football recreation. I wouldn't mind seeing about getting a game together."

I was still not letting the challenge from earlier go completely. The game suggestion, though, was a good one and Logan and I looked at each other in silent communication of agreement. I shrugged. "We would need to see if the storage shed has anything that could be used as a ball. But sounds good to me."

Emma tilted her head in thought. "You could as the Amity Ambassador. They do try and have some recreational activities on hand. They might have something there at the office."

Logan nods and smiles at her softly, full of love before he leans down and kisses her forehead gently. "They should be open and I was going to grab some more fruit for this morning anyways. Jasmine and Alhora made me promise to get them some anyways."

Elle nods in thought as she bites her lip. "Yeah that sounds good. They will like that to go with their breakfast. Hey if they have it, you could pick up some of the fruits that I can make into that fresh apple cake you like or even a cobbler of some kind. And maybe some maple syrup if they have it."

Logan gets a shit eating grin. He loves Elle's desserts and cooking in general. "Like I am going to say no to your desserts. Well, I am going to get dressed and run down there really quick."

He kisses Emma on more time then he nods to Elle and I before he goes. It got quiet after he left. We all sipped on our coffee while doing our tasks. Emma had volunteered to help so was switching out the meats in the oven for us. She also found the buffet trays so we could start loading everything in to keep it warm and be served out of.

It was a comfortable silence. I felt warmth that I had my sister and Elle with me doing something so normal. The silence was broken when Emma must have seen that Elle was deep in thought about something.

"I know that look Elle. It was the same look you had before you came up with the battle simulation project. What are you cooking up now?"

Elle was in the middle of working on the french toast during this and she shook her head. "It isn't a complete thought and I am not cooking anything besides breakfast. I am _wondering_ about possibly adding elements to the simulation though. Right now we have it set for computer generated battle simulations."

I quirk an eyebrow at her tone as I look over to her. She sounds displeased or even upset about something. "Yeah but you have the capability to change it up however much we want to."

It is amazing tech and the scenarios we could input are varied enough to give us a good range. I couldn't wait to try it out.

She nods and bites her lip. Something is troubling her badly about this. "True. When we made it though I was going into it with the strong resolution to keep it serum free. I was almost rabid about that point."

There it is and I can't blame her one fucking bit. In fact if I were her I would most likely be the same way. A serum/sim had caused her to lose her family and watch others die needlessly. I would have gone the way she did with the battle simulation as well.

Emma's eyes soften as she smiles at Elle sadly. "Which was understandable Elle."

Elle frowns and gives a little shake of her head. "I think I made a mistake. The battle simulation needs that element of ultimate realism. We can train in it until we're blue in the face but when real battle happens…."

She trails off with pain in her voice. I can't help feeling the same pain for and with her. My sigh is full of it but as a leader and something that understands the level of training or what happens in battle...I agree. I can read it now, what she is feeling. Guilt because she put her own feelings about sims and serums above the needs for the faction she was trying to help. It was all justified but I could understand why she was second guessing herself now. I just hated that I agreed with that assessment. Part of me wanted to tell her that she had nothing to feel guilty about and she made the absolute right choice….but she wouldn't appreciate it and it wouldn't be true really. She didn't have anything to feel guilty about, that part is for fucking sure true. The other part…..

I had just put the eggs I finished in the big buffet tray so I put the lid on it, turned the flame down on hash browns and went to her. I wrapped my arms around her, her back against my chest so she could still cook.

Four and Tris decided that just that moment would be the perfect time to come in. Four locked eyes on me, glaring and I heard his growling grumble. I tensed but I wasn't letting go of Elle, especially knowing how she was feeling right now.

Tris stepped in as she gripped his arm and started to whisper something to him. It stopped Four from saying anything but he was still glaring at me.

"Good morning Elle, Eric, Emma." Tris said with a smile to all of us as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Morning sis. I made some tea for you guys and Four there is coffee already made up." She says with a smile but her tone is quiet and even more worried.

"Thanks...morning." Four grumbles as he passes up and goes to get a cup of coffee.

I can already tell if he continues this attitude with Elle, and I feel the hurt continue in her like she has going...he and I are going to have fucking words. That hopefully only stay words...but still I am coming to the decision he and I are going to need to have a conversation soon regardless.

Tris takes a seat on a stool facing us with her tea and Four joins her soon after.

I squeeze Elle a little in comfort but also to go back to what we were talking about. "So what were you thinking of Elle? I get where you are coming from. Real combat is different from the simulations and we can't really judge how someone will react when the real thing happens. Is that the basic line of thought you were having?"

She nods and swallows. "Yeah basically. The biggest worries would be a couple of things. How we react when it is for real and then how we deal with it after." Her voice is the quiet one still. I kiss her forehead and move back to the hash browns.

"We know how you would handle it Elle. I saw that first hand and even I was amazed at how you handled it. I don't think I did as well when I first had an encounter with a group of factionless." I title my head in thought thinking of that first encounter.

Tris and Four were looking at Elle with deep concern. "Are you having issues or thoughts about it Elle?" Four asks with a deep frown.

Elle shakes her head. "No. Having all you helped me but also I guess I was pretty prepared beforehand. Zeke had told me some of his own encounters. When I first started to work with him he was concerned I was going to romanticize combat or something I guess. You weren't there Four because he knew you wouldn't approve but he showed me a few encounters that got messy."

I tensed and felt anger start to course through me at that. What the fuck was Zeke thinking? How could he have known at that time how Elle would handle that shit! Elle sighed and put her hand on my arm, trying to calm me down but also looked at Four because he building up his temper as well.

"He was right to do it Four. You don't remember what I had to engage in? It wasn't just me fighting with a gun guys. The only weapon I had before we got the gun was a kitchen knife and my hands. How bad would it have been if I hadn't known what to expect? Would I have frozen the first time I had to…" she stops for a moment, shudders and shakes her head. "See that is what I am talking about. Even now there is that slight revulsion at that act. Even though I know it had been absolutely necessary to save that little boy's life. At the time though if I hadn't been even a little prepared what would have happened? Those are the questions we can't afford to leave unanswered."

I hate that she is right but I hate and have hated the fact that she was made to go as far as she had to that day. From the moment I read the reports of what she had to do I have carried around such guilt that we weren't there sooner. That I wasn't there for her, to at the very least stand by her side as she had to face those things.

I nod in agreement and she gets that thoughtful far away look again. Emma breaks the silence we are all in as I realize Four and Tris were lost in their own thoughts too.

"I will go get my tablet Elle and you can jot down your equations and notes that I know you are already compiling. Unless Caleb has yours ready yet. Even then you can just transfer the file. Are you thinking of a whole new serum or using existing?"

Elle bites her lip and frowns. Her eyes darting back and forth as if she is seeing things in her mind while calculating. I shift uncomfortably at how much that is turning me on again and concentrate on the fact that I can finally get to see how she processes and analyzes things.

"I really didn't want to involve them at all but I think it is the right thing to do. The base model for the sensory link for the shared physiology serum would work to start out. That would give us the ability to activate the physical responses. The fear serums have that as well but that is more mental and that would need to be added. The real key will be that we would need to draw from real memories Emma. So that memory serum that I was working on….I think we are going to have to see about tackling that."

My mouth had gone a little dry and my body hot at the way she, out of the fucking thin air, had just created a new tech. Then the mention of a memory serum pierced through the lust building in me.

"What memory serum?" Luckily my tone was all business because I really was wondering what the hell the memory serum was.

I could almost guess. I knew enough about Elle to pick up on what she might be trying to accomplish with a memory serum but I wanted to make sure. I had to force myself to keep better watch on the hash browns so that I could keep myself under control for her answer.

"She had at first started working on a serum that could help in memory retrieval. We only shelved it because we wanted to be able to dedicate the time to the simulator first. That had priority. Basically the premise is that a person could be given the serum and linked into a terminal. Then the person and a controller would work to retrieve memories of specific events. The most recent ones would be more likely to be easily retrieved but we wanted to go beyond that and access older ones. She had even wanted to move it towards being able to use the serum on deceased victims to lend evidence during investigations. There were several other things associated with that she wanted to do but I see where you are going with this." Emma answered before Elle could. She sat tapping her fingers on the counter deep in thought for a moment.

"Let me go get my tablet and we can get down the basic notes Elle. But it is supposed to be you resting. I am serious, you spent two weeks working constantly and then going between the lap and trying to take care of the leaders. Logan told me about that last night. You told me you were going to sleep."

I knew she was working on a project and trying to take care of us too, I just didn't know how much she had been taking on herself. Now I am getting even more upset at her friends that left her hanging during all of that.

"I lived and shit got done. We all make sacrifices Emma." She says this to Emma but is looking at me pointedly. Trying to remind me of our conversation last night.

I frowned because I still didn't like it. She was a strong woman and I trusted that if she felt she needed to do that, then there was a good reason for it. I sighed and nodded. "She is right though. Just get the basic shit down and you guys can work on it during the tech development class and workshops that will be run." My tone was that of leader but my wink of understanding was coming from that of boyfriend.

As her leader I don't want her overtaxing herself anymore than I do as her boyfriend. As both though...I am not going to try and control her.

Elle nodded and smiled at me in relief. I could tell that in her eyes there while she was talking to Emma but looking at me; she had apprehension. As if I was going to react how Tyler might have reacted. One more reason for me to show her I respect and trust her as much as I could.

"I can live with that. As long as I can get the flurry of thoughts down to pull from later, we should be good." She replied happily.

"I still can't wait to see this simulator in action." Four mumbled. He was slightly less angry but still tensed and shooting me glaring looks.

I would give him a little more time but if he didn't cut it out I would pull him aside and hash this shit out.

The smells must have finally penetrated the others. When Logan came back and we had just finished up with everything, the others started drifting in.

Shauna, Tris and Mar all shooed Elle out of the kitchen and made her and I get our plates first. Then they organized the chaos that was going to descend when a pack of ravenous Dauntless swooped in.

Someone had thought to get a fire going in the big fireplace and Elle was looking at it so longingly while we were deciding where to sit that with a laugh I led us over to a spot on the big couch. We sat cuddled into the side closest to it and dug into our food or sipped coffee.

Logan and Emma joined us along with Zeke and Shauna. Tris was going to sit near us but Four was being completely hostile and she had to lead him somewhere else. If I hadn't had Elle in my arms I might have gone after him, the way her face fell and her eyes started to shine.

"Baby….he might just need a little time." I whisper, trying to be reassuring even though I wasn't feeling very much like it at the moment.

She shrugged and leaned into me. "He will just need to get over it. I am a big girl Eric and this isn't his decision to make."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Uri walk over to Four and take him to a corner to talk to him. I don't listen or watch them, but when Four comes back his lips are thinned and he looks like he was just given something sour to drink.

I remember Uri's words the other night and I think that he just put his support out there. Either that or he couldn't handle seeing how Four's behavior was bringing Elle down.

When we had finished eating, I took Elle's plate and left her by the fire to grab us both some more coffee. Chris, Candice and Lynn took on cleaning duty since we had cooked and made sure to have me make Elle stay out of the kitchen for a little while.

While I was getting coffee I pulled Caleb aside. He had already ordered the phone and it would be in before dinner sometimes. Next I asked Emma and Logan if I could chat with them a bit later. I was even more determined to do something special for Elle than I had been earlier.

I was also determined to try my best today to not antagonize Four. To try and hold off on flying off the handle on him. She didn't need added tension from me.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: And we are all caught up now with Eric's POV to date! Now to work on the next chapters and the surprise one.**

 **I really do appreciate every view, review, follow and favorite. I hope you guys are enjoying the story!**

 **Chapter 22**

Elle made her way back into the kitchen, but not before we spent time just hanging out with the others around the fire. Elise and Max joined us for the breakfast with their family.

The twins had ended up in our laps, in our arms as we all talked. Every once in awhile I would look over to Elle and see her holding the little girl and feel warmth and hope flood me. At times, her eyes would find mine and I could see something of the same in hers when she saw Jasmine playing with my hands or laughing at something I was saying to her.

When she moved away to go start baking the desserts she had planned on I pulled Emma and Logan to the side. Emma was looking amused at how nervous I suddenly became and Logan was outright laughing at me. We had gone to a den or library type area they had in the lodge. I was sitting with my elbows on my knees and forehead furrowed in trying to word what I wanted.

"Will you just spit it out already Eric!" Logan threw his hands up in the air with a smirk as he said it.

I frowned and sighed. "I wanted to do something nice for...or with Elle tonight. Something...well just the two of us. I have an idea of what I want to do but I don't know if it will be too much."

"You mean you want to take her on a date?" Emma asked with a wide smile.

I tilt my head in thought and shrug. "Yeah. If I think about it I don't want our first one to be in the middle of Academy. I would like it to be here."

Logan looks over to Emma quickly and I can see the idea appeals to him even. He nods and smiles. "This is kind of the perfect place for something like that. What do you need from us though?"

"Well I kind of need help being able to pull it off. There are some things I need and I don't know exactly how or when to get it all. I was thinking of doing a dinner thing for us." I shrug as I say this.

"That sounds perfect Eric." Emma says then she starts to grill me on what I was thinking.

Her eyes get watery when I tell her what I want and why. Even Logan seems to be moved by one of the items for sure. They both promise to help. While we are getting the football game together, she is going to go to the Ambassador and get a few of the items that we need and even volunteered to make the food I know Elle likes the most.

With the plan in place we all head back with the others. I still have another conversation to have, with Tris. I let her know that I just got Elle another phone and why. She readily agreed that we should leave the other one open and allow Tyler to hang himself more.

When it came time to play, everyone that wanted to play was gathered in the kitchen. It took a little while to explain the rules and what the game was about but everyone picked it up pretty quickly.

Logan and I decided that the best way to do this was he and I would be captains. We put a twist on picking teams though; he would pick for me and I would pick for him.

Logan started out announcing the rules to everyone first. "Alright we're going to have team captains. But the captains don't pick their own players. The other one picks for them. Eric and I are those captains. Does everyone understand the rules? And remember, you can tackle but let's keep this civil and fun. If you can't, you don't play."

His eyes move between me and Four. We are in a glare off because he is once again grumbling and glaring at me. Elle is is beside me and my arm is around her shoulder to hold her close to me. I really hate that even when I try my hardest to not respond to his idiocy I always end up in some glare off with him.

"We got it Logan." Zeke said with a frown looking at Four. I think even he was getting tired of Four's attitude. Then, true to Zeke form, he broke out in a smile and looked back to Logan. "So let's get to picking teams. I'm ready to play!"

His voice was full of excitement and enthusiasm that had everyone laughing at that.

Logan and I started looking over the room, trying to determine who we wanted to go on the other team. I wanted Elle on mine but I knew that probably wasn't going to happen.

"Alright I won the toss. I get first pick. So for the first pick for Eric's team. Four." The smirk Logan was trying to keep off his face failed and I could only glare at him, promising him pain later.

Was he trying to start shit?

I clench my jaw as I make my choice for his team. "Fine. Will you go with Logan."

"Scott" Logan calls out my second player.

"Uri."

Then after that the list comes off in rapid fire. When he calls out Elle's name with a smirk and wink to me I grin like a loon and pull her closer, causing several chuckles.

I am pretty satisfied with my team as far as what I think we are capable of. I guess having Four on my team was a fucking smart move so we aren't competing against each other. I can admit...even with me trying to do better that could have gotten ugly fast. Especially the way I think we are both feeling about each other right now.

I have Elle, Zeke, Four, Scott, Hector and Lynn. As we were all walking to the field that we had found to be able to play I heard Jake, Emmett and Scott all taunting and teasing Elle about how she was so tiny and was going to get taken down.

Elle got this wicked smirk on her face but didn't say anything. I know she knew all about football. She was the one that suggested this be tackle not flag football. The thought of one of them tackling her though was enough to already start to piss me off.

I had a plan though that might mitigate that and it might just help us win.

I look at Elle for a little while and hope my plan doesn't piss her off. "Alright let's get this shit worked out. I am thinking that Four, you will be a running back. Elle, you too. You guys are going to be the fastest two. Lynn, you can be the tight end. Zeke, you got center. Scott and Hector will be my linebackers. But Zeke, you and I will need to pull double duty. We protect our running backs. Nothing touches them. You got Four and I got Elle. Four how do you feel about doing the long passes?"

It seems Elle not only isn't pissed about the plan but is smirking and bouncing she loves it so much. Her enthusiasm is catching and even Four cracks his first smile since yesterday evening.

Elle's own smile kicks up, she is so happy at seeing Four smile at her. I can see the guilt flash in his eyes and I can't help but think 'good!'. He should feel guilty for taking this out on Elle.

Four sighs then looks to me, minus the glare or attitude. "Yeah. I could work with those."

I nod and look to Elle, smiling and glad to see her happy about the game but also the relief and happiness for Four dropping his attitude towards her. "Elle, I will be putting some down the field for you too but I am thinking of doing some fake handoffs with you. You're fast so I think we can pull those off."

She smirks and nods approvingly at me. "I'm ready when you guys are." She starts to roll her shoulders a little causing me to shake my head. Lynn throws her arm over her shoulder and those two walk ahead of us to where we are going to play.

It is obvious from the beginning that Logan knew I would be going with Elle at least as a running back. He had her covered big time. I was glad we decided to put Four on the long passes. Logan hadn't expected I would go with Four on running back but they picked up coverage on him quickly.

I got some good passes down to him and few fake handoffs to Elle. Elle was driving all of us, that were trying to protect her, fucking crazy. I was not lying when I said she was fast. She was a bullet that tore off after Four and sometimes we got the ball to Scott, so she would run protection on him too. She would launch her tiny ass at anyone trying to grab one of ours with the ball with a scary ferocity.

It got bad enough that we had to protect her while she was trying to protect Four or whoever else had the ball. I started getting her the fucking ball just so we could all put our effort into protecting her.

We were all getting a little worked up and when Will took her down hard in one turn. I almost lost it. I heard him hit her from my place down by the line of scrimmage, Zeke had shot out after her alone with Four. I was down there and tossing Will off her in a heartbeat; and almost launched myself after Will until Elle popped up and jumped on my back trying to tell me she was ok.

When I got calmed down enough, and after I yelled at Will and the others about the unnecessary roughness they were pulling, we broke for halftime. I carried Elle on my back, because she had refused to get down until I 'calmed my neanderthal ass down'. I could only smirk at her and order her not to get tackled again.

Those that weren't playing had brought up food and drinks for everyone. They set up blankets all around and everyone plopped down in different spots to rest, eat, drink and talk about the game so far.

"Elle you just might be officially the craziest Dauntless I have ever known. Must run in the damn family now that I think about it." Max said with a smirk at Elle and to Tris as well.

She was sitting in between my legs as she shared a plate of food.

I snorted in agreement, earning a glare from Elle. "What? Am I supposed to stand out there like a statue and just _let_ them win. Sorry not going to happen. Not in my genetic makeup to not go balls to the wall."

I choked a little on my drink while the others around us started laughing. Elle looked up at me, impish grin on her face and blushing. "Thanks babe." I mutter but wink at her.

Four was sitting there with us and while the glare wasn't as intense, anytime I touched Elle, held her or kissed her, the glare made an appearance again.

When the game resumed, the tension between Four and I lessened much more because it seemed like Elle got even _more_ determined to get herself killed. It took Four and I working together with Zeke to keep her covered and from killing herself, or us, with worry.

We won, barely, but we won.

"You know Tris...I was thinking. Maybe someone should have had Eric and Four on a team together before now. I mean, if all it took was for them to act like a couple of rams, headbutting over trying to protect a tiny girl with a ball for them to get along...then that should have been done a hell of a lot sooner." Elle said snarkily as her and Tris walked arm in arm.

Everyone but Four and I found that amusing, judging by the booming laughter as we all walked back to the lodge.

I scowled at her with my eyebrow raised. I still remembered her challenge from that morning, this was just adding to that fuel for me. I couldn't help but smirk when she gulped and pulled Tris into a run with her to race to the lodge.

While we were walking back some of us decided to zip-line then go in for lunch. Logan and I agreed that we wanted to try and get away for a hike since I hadn't gotten to do that yesterday. So we packed up some lunches and with Elle and Emma set off to hike as much as Emma could handle. Elle wanted to do some freehand rock wall climbing and we did a bit of that. We ate our lunches at the top.

Logan brought up that they had gotten group pictures yesterday so it was only fitting to get pictures together as a group and couples. Elle was blushing but smiling at the same time. Before we left I got a picture of just Emma and Elle but also one with me in there too. As far as I was concerned I now had a picture of my family. Emma, Logan and Elle.

I didn't want to go back to the lodge as Elle sat between my legs looking out at the view before us. It was peaceful and relaxing. The sun was going to be setting soon and while Logan and I knew Elle would be fine climbing back down in the fading light, we both worried about Emma.

So we headed back and were instantly barraged by the chaos of the lodge. Laughter, running, and rowdiness that is common for Dauntless all assaulted us.

"I think I am going to go get a shower before dinner." Elle told me as we put up the items from our bags we didn't eat along with the trash we had taken to keep the place clean.

I nod with a smile as I pull her to me. "Sounds like a good idea. We have a while before dinner so I am going to grab a shower too."

I also had to make sure that Emma was able to get the items for dinner tonight and then to find a spot to set up. Four was near and glaring, so I kissed her briefly before she went to her room to get changed. I walked off quickly before I said something and ruined my streak of self control around him today.

Emma had gone with Elle when she saw some of the girls trailing Emma like dogs that had a scent. I could only laugh at that before I went and jumped in the shower then changed.

It turned out that even though the lodge was fucking huge….everywhere good for a dinner spot was being taken by others with the same idea. I had thought about the little library that it had but Caleb had claimed that as his refuge from all the romance of the night. I couldn't begrudge the man that. He was pretty much the lone man here.

When Emma came back from Elle's she helped me to set up things on the balcony near my room. She had thankfully been able to make the food during the game. All I would need to do would be to heat a few of the items up, light the candles and start the fire.

"Was Elle excited when you asked her on your first date?" Emma asked me as she arranged the flowers I had her to get, if she could, from the Amity ambassador.

I stopped in the middle of stacking the firewood in the fireplace and looked to her. I must have had a stunned expression on my face because Emma stopped and started laughing at me.

"You didn't ask her first Eric?" She had her hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide.

I popped up and ran a hand over the back of my neck. "Fuck….I didn't even think of that Emma. I just….I don't know...thought I would just surprise her I guess."

Emma shakes her head and then comes behind me to start pushing me towards my door. "No, you need to go ask that girl. The whole point was to give her the experience and also to be treated the way she deserves. No girl likes to be thrown into a first date by surprise. Even Elle would want at least a little notice."

She says this all firmly as I am being herded out my door with her following.

"Ok then." I mutter and stalk my way towards Elle's room, hoping she is still there. I start running through my head ways to ask her or things to say and don't notice that Emma had already broken away to finish getting ready for her own date with Logan. Logan who had asked her beforehand apparently. He was much more practiced at this than I am.

After I knock on Elle's door I run my hands on my pants because I suddenly feel like a pubescent boy, they are that sweaty.

"It's open." Elle calls from behind the closed door to her room.

When I went in she wasn't in the room itself but was standing at the bathroom counter finishing up her makeup. I took her in, from head to toe, smiling as I leaned against the doorway.

"You look amazing Elle." I finally get out, smile still in place. She does look amazing. I don't know if it is just because I am so fucking crazy for the girl but she can make the simplest of outfits look like the sexiest thing in the world.

More than that, for me, it has always been more about the energy, fire, and glow she exudes. She is confident without being stuck up. Modest without trying to hide away. Fierce without trying to be too hard.

Like now a simple compliment has her blushing and smiling radiantly at me. "Thanks."

Her eyes move over me to take me in. As always the way she looks at me makes me feel like I can be and am more, at least to her. Yeah I have been looked at with desire before, but that was it. Desire for the physical. With Elle it is a such a deep desire that it takes my breath away.

"You look really good too Eric." She says, her face flushing and looks away.

I chuckle a little and pull her over to me when she puts down the makeup she had in her hand. "I am never going to get tired of the way you look at me." I whisper as I tilt her head up to look at me, so I can get lost in that look in her eyes again.

"How do I look at you?" Her skin flushed a deeper red and her eyes got wide with worry.

My smile widens as she moved closer and molded herself into my embrace. I decided to be open with her about how she made me feel. It felt like exposing something vulnerable but I needed to and she needed to hear this as well. "Like I am someone worth being with."

Her eyes start to shine and her arms go around my neck. "Eric" She sighs my name before she lifts up and kisses me. It isn't a kiss full of pity or sadness but everything that I see in her eyes….she pours it into that kiss.

It consumes me so totally that I grasp the back of her shirt tightly and let the passion take over us. I felt in no rush for the moment to stop the kiss or our hands that had began to move over each other. Simple and innocent touches.

Like along her shoulders to her neck and allowing my hand to drift down her spine, feeling her shiver against me and moan into my mouth. Or her moving her fingers in the lightest of touches along my arms, tracing the veins and muscles that caused me to have shivers of my own. Innocent touches that were driving the desire deeper and setting a need in me that I knew I needed to pull back from.

When I finally did manage to bring us back from the brink I was left gasping for breath, holding her as tight as she held me while we both shook with need. I pressed my lips to her forehead as I closed my eyes and just tried to breath in general.

When I finally managed to get to somewhat normal breathing I cleared my throat, remembering what I came here for in the first place. "I wanted to ask you…" I paused nervously "..we might be too busy after Academy starts...but did you want to have dinner with me tonight? I just, I want to have our first date when we aren't having to worry about schedules and all the other stresses we might have."

My lips were still pressed to her forehead so I couldn't see her face but I heard the smile in her voice when she replied and felt her nodding her head slightly. "I would love that Eric."

I left out a breath of relief and smiled against her forehead, thanking the gods for Emma helping but also getting me to do this. "Good. I hope you don't mind, but I thought we could just have it on the balcony again. It seems every nook and cranny is filled with people with the same idea."

She laughs a little and nodded again. "No last night was perfect."

I nod as well with a smile of agreement. "I really liked getting to hold you all night Elle." I say in a whisper against her skin. Not knowing why that was hard to admit but it was.

"I really liked it too Eric. I even liked waking up with you."

I groaned slightly at the memory and chuckled. "Yeah me too. You don't have to but if you want…."

She stops me from continuing by pressing a soft kiss against my neck that has my heart picking up and a jolt of electricity running through me. "That's kind of why I mentioned it Eric."

I give a half chuckle half hum. "You are going to make it very hard for me to take this slow, aren't you?"

Her answer is a smirk against my neck that I clearly feel. I groaned and pushed her back slightly to kiss her before I pull back enough to make sure I keep it under control. "I don't know if you want to take anything for if you do stay with me tonight. I want to go and get things set up but could you met me at my room in fifteen minutes?"

"Fifteen minutes sounds good. I will meet you there. Did you need any help?" She asks with a blush.

I shake my head as I cup her cheek. "No I want to take care of it." I allow myself to kiss her one more time before I hurry out to get the food heated up and everything set up on the table.

The kitchen was full of people trying to do the very same thing I was doing. Luckily I didn't have much that needed to be warmed up. I asked for the hot dishes to be simple and Emma had made a baked ziti pasta. The rest was salad and antipasto that I knew Elle loved from the day we put together the dinner for the leaders.

I got everything set up on the table, lit the candles and started the fire just before I heard the knock at the door. When I open the door, Elle stands there with a bag over her shoulder, chewing on her lip.

"You didn't have to knock baby." I say with a smile but glad I am not the only one feeling nervous as shit right now.

She blushes and walks in after I take her hand and pull her forward gently. "I sat there for a minute debating if I should knock or shouldn't. I realize I am really sucky at knowing how the whole dates or dating thing goes."

I can only chuckle because I have no clue about this either. I take her bag and put it on a chair before I pulled her to me and kissing her gently. I pull back and sigh as I smile and hold her eyes. "I don't exactly know either Elle. I don't think we need to go by what anyone else says it should be like though. We can do what works for us. Does that sound good to you?"

She grins and nods. "Yeah I can handle that. So we just make up the rules as we go?"

I shrug and smirk a little. "Something like that. Both of us tend to be rule setters ourselves. We don't fit into the normal ones so new ones are made just because of us." I smile smugly when I remember that I used her as an example to get our way with the Academy approval. "Like say a former stiff that was so much better trained than even some members. Because of this leadership couldn't help but accept the proposal by her sister for forming the Academy after having used her as the example."

Her mouth drops open and she flushes in embarrassment. "She did not!"

I shrug. "You're right. _She_ did not."

"You used me as the example?" She tilted her head and asked in confusion while still blushing.

I laughed a little and led her out to the balcony. I hadn't planned on mentioning that and don't know what prompted me to...other than maybe I want her to know how proud of her I am. How proud of that accomplishment for all of us really. I am saved having to answer her because I see her taking in what I have set up.

As her eyes sweep over everything I am biting my lip waiting for her reaction. A smile starts to spread across her face.

"Eric...this is…" She stops speaking as if catching her breath but doesn't lose the smile, in fact it gets wider. "This is amazing Eric." She finishes and looks over to me showing she means that.

I blush a little and let out a relieved breath but let myself smile as wide as her. "I'm glad you like it. I didn't know if it was too much or not."

I pull her with me to the couch to sit beside me and pour us both a glass of wine. "No it's perfect. How did you know those are my favorite flowers?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

I am truly blushing now as I hand her the glass of wine I have for her then scratch the back of my neck. "You mentioned it once." I take a breath and prepare to let her know just how much of a stalker I have been from the beginning. "When you and Tris were making the funeral arrangements you said that your mother shared that with you. You both loved hydrangeas in general but more specifically those colors."

She sipped her wine and smiled a little sadly but she didn't seem to mind that I had been paying close attention to her even then. Then she frowns and gives a little gasp. "Eric." She looks over to me. "I thought it was Tris at the time, but did you…"

She trails off but I know what she is asking. I looked into my glass and nodded. "Yeah. I had them plant them in the meadow by the cellar. It felt kind of fitting and a good tribute to two brave women from that day." I shrugged because I couldn't tell her that it was also my way of dealing with the fact that I had realized I loved her and had to pull away.

I couldn't tell her that I also went by that same meadow several times over the last year and reflected on how much meeting her changed my life and me.

Elle puts her glass of wine down, moves to her knees beside me and wraps her arms around my neck. Then she kisses me deeply and slowly. I know she is trying to thank me and show me how much that meant to her so I try to show her right back that it meant something to me too.

For the first time when we are kissing this deeply we don't get too lost in. When we pull away I stroke her cheek with my thumb as we look in each others eyes. She moves to sit back down, but puts herself in the crook of my arm, pressed tight against my side. We sit there enjoying the night, the wine, the food and each other.

The conversation is light. Talking about day to day things that seem insignificant but feel good to be able to talk about. I am not naive and think that Elle and I are going to agree on everything or that we won't fight. I don't think everything will be perfect everyday of our lives. I do think that moments like these are pleasing to me in a way that I would have thought ridiculous if someone had once told me how much they could mean. I would have probably made some joke if a guy told me how much he loved coming home to his girl and talking about his day. Probably would have said something like he was whipped and to grow a pair.

Not now. Cause fuck if I am not feeling like the sappiest man alive and I don't care.

We go through the whole bottle of wine and spread out eating the entire time until we decide we are done and all we want is to be in each other's arms. So we move the table out the way and get a direct view of the fireplace from the couch.

I half lay back on the arm of the couch and some pillows then Elle moves to be between my legs and on my chest. She got cold so I pull the blanket over us both and we lay there like that talking some more.

She tells me more about the memory serum and what she wanted to see it evolve to and I am once again blown away by her mind and giving heart. She wants to use it for retrieving memories, helping in investigations, helping to allow victims to be able to testify by memory if they are unable or too traumatized to in person. Lastly though she wants to get it to the point where it can help to heal those whose brains have been traumatized or are affected by diseases of the mind, like dementia.

I didn't think it was possible for me to fall more in love with her but bit by bit I am. After a while we just lay there with each other not feeling the need to fill the time with words.

"I should get this cleared away." Elle says breaking into the quiet.

I frown and wrap my arms around her tightly, a grumbling growl of disagreement coming from me. "Nope not right now."

She sighs and smiles a little. I start to run my hand up and down her spine again lightly. She shivers and arches her back a little, and just like that the fire I was keeping closed off sparks. My heart picks up and I move my hand up her spine to run through her silken hair.

Elle lifts her head from my chest too look at me but her eyes go to my lips just before I pull her up to met hers with mine. I should restrain myself but I don't because she takes the kiss over first. I let her explore the kiss and us. Let her nip or suck on my bottom lip, pick up the pace or slow it down.

I let her have the control until I feel my own slip away and then I take over the kiss. I am still trying to be gentle and slow but my own passion has raised to meet her own.

Then all I want is to feel her under me, so I move her, pressing her into the couch and half covering her with my body hovered over her own. Her hand slips under my sweater and her fingers lightly trace the ridges of my muscles. Her touch is maddening and I slip my own hand under her shirt, starting with her stomach.

She whimpers and sighs into my mouth and the kiss as I take my time. I make my way slowly to touch her where I know she wants me to most. I break away from the kiss as I gently cup her.

I rake my fingernails across the material and the area straining against the fabric, begging for more. Her hands that were against my skin, curl slightly, trying to bring me closer to her.

"Eric" She moans and arches up, trying to deepen my touch. My eyes are heavy lidded with how much I want and need her. She moves so that her lips ghost against mine. "Eric please." She whispers her plea against my lips.

I take a breath to try and brace myself, hoping I don't lose complete control as I brush my nose against her once before I take her mouth in a kiss. Her chest rumbles in a purr and my restraint is broken with an answering growl. I slide my hand under the material of her bra and groan at the feel of her in my hand.

She gasps into my mouth as her back comes off the seat of the couch in a complete arch. I am fighting myself so hard to remain in control. To keep my touch of her as gentle as I can but the fire of her skin is calling to me.

I have to break away when I feel her hand move to cup me through my jeans.

"Elle, gods I want you so bad." I groan out after breaking away from the kiss.

Elle lays there panting as she kisses along my jaw and neck with a smile, not making the situation any better. "Eric, I know you want to wait." She pulls back to look at me. "But I don't. I want this and you. Like you said, the next few months will be stressful."

I should still say we can wait and I want to wait. I just know I am not going to fucking do it. With a growl I take her mouth in another kiss, rougher and more passionate than I have allowed before now.

I stop myself because I am not going to take her here on a couch outside. So I pull away from the kiss completely, stand and pull her to stand with and against me. I hold her close to my chest and put my hands to the sides of her face. I take a in a few steadying breaths.

"I am going to straighten things up out here. Why don't you go back inside and…" I pause and swallow while blushing a little. "Get ready for bed. I'll be right in."

She starts to argue...I see it in her eyes but then I see she understands I need a few moments to myself. She nods with a small smile and blushes. I kiss her softly and guide her to the french doors.

Her looking back over her shoulder at me through her lashes almost has me saying fucking it, picking her up and tossing her over my shoulder. It was a look of shyness but also longing. When I hear the door to the bathroom close I put my hands on the table and lean against it.

I already know there is no way I am not taking her tonight. I also know that I need to make sure she knows this isn't about that for me. I know the thoughts that Four have about what my intentions to Elle are, they are plaguing me. I know that my own worries that she will come down from the high emotions of this weekend and have regrets are bothering me the most.

I shake my head and move to blow out the candles, the fire will burn out on it's own. I stack the plates but know those can wait for the morning. I make my way into the room and get ready for bed then look around and decide to light the fire in the rooms own fireplace. There are lamps made of stone that lights up in a warm amber color so I turn those on.

A sudden thought and realization of something hits me and I swear it almost takes me to my knees with a groan. Then Elle opens the door and I groan for a whole other reason when she steps out.

"Jesus" I breath out.

She is absolutely breathtaking in a simple knee length black chemise made of some silky material. She smiles as she catches what I meant to only say in my head. Her eyes move over me and she swallows while blushing. She sets her bag back down on the chair and I can see her stop in hesitation.

"Come here Elle." I softly command her.

She walks over to where I was standing when she came out. Having just turned down the covers of the bed. I take her hand and pull her closer to me as she steps into my touch. Now it isn't just her body that is on fire, but mine as well.

This is going to be hell but I can't let us do anything without protection. I put my hands to the side of her face and make her look at me as I try to figure out a way to say this to her and make her understand it won't be because I don't want this really fucking badly. "Elle…" I stop as I realize I am having trouble just saying it. I chuckle and shake my head. "I feel like a gods damn schoolboy right now."

My look turns serious again as I try one more time. "Elle I didn't expect this. To be doing this right now."

I stop and wait to see if she picks up on where I might be going with this but she furrows her head in a frown. I groan and press my forehead to hers, hoping she doesn't see that I am completely turning red right now.

"Baby, I didn't bring any...you know…." I grumble and curse myself as I stop again. Just fucking say it already dammit! "I didn't bring any protection." I get out and huff.

I pull back to look at her and she blushes but also frowns. "Oh." She says in complete disappointment then chews her lip for a second. "I got the shot. A few months ago I got the shot and the few times I did….I always made him wear one."

A growl bubbles up at the thought of him and him doing those things with her before I push it down. I let out a breath and nod. "If you are sure about this Elle. I haven't been with anyone since you came to Dauntless. I also get tested so I am clean."

She may be still blushing but she also smiles in relief a little as she wraps her arms around my neck and looks at me seriously. "I am sure. Eric, I can tell you are worried about something with this whole thing. Is it…" She stops and frowns and I want to rip Tyler apart for what I see flashing through her eyes. "Is it because I don't really know how all this works or because I am so…"

I can't let her finish as I pull her to me roughly for a kiss. If I could kiss the shit out of all the insecurities that asshole has caused in her I would. But that won't work so I pull back and hold her eyes. "Don't even think about completing that thought. You get that shit out of your head right now Elle. Do you understand me?" I demand of her, not trying to sound harsh but at least firm.

She nods, her eyes looking slightly dazed but I need to hear her say it. "I understand Eric." She gets out finally.

I take a breath and pause a second. "Yes I am worried. Because this means more to me than just wanting you physically. I just don't want you to regret this Elle, it being so soon after all that."

Elle moves a hand to the side of my face and smiles at me. She will never know how close I came to saying it outright just then. I can also see that what I already know I feel so deeply is starting to show in her eyes when she looks at me.

"Eric, I can understand that. If I had loved him, truly loved him or was still hurting over the loss of him, I could see that would be a good thing to do." She shakes her head then presses a small soft kiss to my lips before pulling back with a sigh. "I didn't and I don't. I said before that I don't regret it and I don't. It taught me what I do want and what I don't. I don't want just the physical with you either Eric. Although, " She stops and blushes with an impish smile. "I will admit that what I feel in that way seems like a tidal wave sometimes. I missed you Eric. You pulled away and I missed you more than I knew or understood. I want you Eric, not just this."

With her words and that look, the worries I had about what would happen after this weekend are washed away. I am flooded with happiness that what I hoped for, what I thought I saw in her, was right and she does feel the same.

I felt no hesitation or need to restrain myself when I brought her to me for a kiss. There was no need to watch where my hands wandered as we stood there in the light of the fire, kissing and exploring each other slowly.

I got just as much enjoyment from listening to the sounds of pleasure she made as her hands explored different areas of me. I smiled against whatever part of the body my mouth was exploring at the time when she would make soft moans or sighs of pleasure from her own attentions to me.

That fire was there but now that we weren't fighting it, we were content to let it burn slowly through us.

I pulled back to smile at her. "You took my breath away when you came out in this Elle. I don't know if I would have had the strength to resist you if you had worn this last night."

She smirks wickedly and her eyes glint in mischievousness. "Well damn" She mutters with a small pout.

I chuckle a little as I let my hands drift to the hem of her nightgown, ghosting across the flesh. Our eyes lock and darken, our breathing picks up a little bit more with each inch I raise. I don't know what feels better against my skin, the material of the nightgown or her skin as I let my fingers skim along it slowly.

I never let my eyes move from hers and our gazes are only broken when I lift the material up and over her head. Then I can't help but to look and take her in. She is sexy and beautiful, everything from the color of her skin to the way her hair looks falling down around her. I let myself take my time to soak everything up.

"Eric," her voice comes out in a breathy sigh. My eyes move to hers again, my forehead furrowed in worry, thinking something is wrong. "I'll never get tired of how you look at me either."

My worry is wiped away as my lips twitch in a smile at her using my own words from earlier. "How do I look at you Elle?"

She swallows and smiles shyly. "Like you think I am beautiful."

Gods she has no idea just how beautiful in all areas she is to me. I shake my head and pull her against me, our bare chests slide together. Our eyes close but I don't allow the time for our groans as I go in for a kiss. When I pull away I scoop her up in my arms and whisper against her lips. "You are beautiful baby. But you are so much more than just beautiful Elle."

I follow closely behind her as I lay her in the bed. There are no more words or hesitations, no barriers keeping us apart. Soon there are no material barriers separating us either.

I shouldn't be surprised by the depth of her passion, her willingness or even her own insistence at exploring each other and different things. Elle continues to surprise me in the littlest and best ways possible though. Our coming together was no less in that.

After the last time we came together I pulled her close to me, set on us getting some kind of rest in the few hours we had left. I pulled her back to my chest with a sigh. "You are going to be a handful."

She gave a small laugh that sounded full of sleep and bliss. "You don't sound like you are all that upset with that thought baby."

I chuckled softly. "Fuck no. You won't hear me complaining. I just find it amusing I am going to have to be the one that helps up both to maintain some kind of self control."

She hums a little in answer. "Is that a challenge Eric?" She mumbles and I can only smirk in answer but also because she is already under the hold of sleep.

I kiss her neck softly and breath her in, closing my eyes and playing through the events of the weekend. I am still in awe that I have Elle with me finally. I am even more in awe of just how much trust she has in me. Tonight and our coming together just demonstrated that to me. She trusted me enough, despite the insecurities that were planted into her by that asshole, to open up and not only allow me to explore but to tell me things she wanted to explore with me.

She might not know what that meant to her yet truly. I wasn't going to pressure her to try and define it or put a name to it. But there in the dark, holding her and feeling her breathing in a deep sleep, I allowed myself to whisper what I already know against her skin.

"I love you Elle."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Ok so this was getting long...going to be broken up into two parts. Hope you enjoy the little interlude.**

 **Chapter 23**

 _Four's POV_

 _Tris' Initiation, Visiting Day_

I don't know why the hell I am here. I don't do visiting day. I get as far away from all of this as I possibly can and stay away. So why am I standing here on the bridge looking out over the Pit and the families mingling together? The answer is obvious really. I am here because I am incapable of leaving her alone. I am here because she had been so damn sure that someone from her family was going to turn up. I am here because I can't bare to see her hurt when they don't but I can't stand to not try and be there for her if that does happen.

A streak of grey darting across the Pit floor and crashing into Tris snaps me to attention and I stand there in disbelief.

She was right.

Someone did show up. Not only that but two of her family members showed up. Natalie I knew vaguely from seeing her around the Abnegation sector. I knew her face well enough to be able to keep away, to avoid her and others on the council or the wives of the council members. Orders from Marcus but also just my own preference.

The young girl that was openly hugging Tris….I think I can remember seeing her darting around the sector. I would never have put that wild one with Tris' family but...now that I think about it...it fits.

I smirk a little as I watch the two sisters talking animatedly while their mother looks on them with affection. Looking at the three women together I can see the same thing they all have in common besides the physical similarities. Spirit and fire. I stay and watch them move around for far longer than I should. So long in fact that when Tris spots me she leads them over to me.

Her mom approached me with her hand extended. "Hello. My name is Natalie," she says with a small smile. "I'm Beatrice's mother."

I raise my hand to met hers, it is more stiff than I would like. It feels odd to be shaking the hand of someone wearing grey.

"And I am Elle….or I mean...Electa." Chirps the girl beside Natalie as she shoves out her hand and grabs mine before I can fully move it over to her. She pumps my hand up and down dramatically with a wink to me.

Natalie clears her throat as if she is really trying to hide a laugh. Tris doesn't bother hiding it and like the few times I have heard it from her, it warms me. "I am sorry Four. Elle is just a little bit over enthusiastic about being in Dauntless. I think she is more excited about that rather than seeing me."

Elle pulls back and looks at her sister with a frown. "Tris, how can you say that?" She pouts a little before she glares. "I _am_ happy to be in Dauntless if only for a visit but that I am here visiting _you_ Sis...in our...I mean your new home is the truly exciting thing!"

Tris smirks at her sister and I can't help but catch on and quickly that there will be another Abnegation transfer coming to Dauntless soon. I can only pray that she doesn't have as hard a time as Tris has had in some areas or that what I think is happening doesn't happen. Then there might not be a Dauntless or Abnegation to transfer from or to.

I think I must be standing there stiff and stunned because Natalie cuts in kindly. "Four is it? Well it is nice to meet you. Is that a nickname?" She asks with a smile, but there is a glint of something in her eyes that puts me on edge.

"Yes" I simply reply without elaborating. Elle...or Electa and Tris both are looking at me with raised eyebrows and I swear I catch Elle mouth the words 'rude ass' before Tris elbows her. I clear my throat and look to Natalie. "Your daughter is doing well here. I've been overseeing her training."

Natalie nods with a smile. "That's good to hear," she says simply. "I know a few things about Dauntless initiation and I was worried about her."

I look to Tris, tracing her face with my eyes. I try not to let it happen but I think my eyes soften slightly. "You shouldn't worry." I finally get out.

Elle smirks and looks between the two of us, Tris is blushing during the entire thing.

Natalie tilts her head as she looks at me. "You look familiar for some reason, Four."

My back stiffens. "I can't imagine why." I reply and my voice is suddenly more cold with the fear that she will make the connection. "I don't make a habit of associating with the Abnegation."

Tris grips her sister's hand, which Elle returns and I honestly don't know if Tris is holding Elle back or if Elle is trying to hold Tris back. Their glares suggest it is a little of both.

Natalie's light laughter breaks through the tension slightly. "Few people do, these days. I don't take it personally."

I relax a little but I know that I have just taken a huge leap back with Tris, going by her look to me. I also might have made a very bad enemy of Elle judging by hers. The fire in both of their eyes is enough that it would send shivers down the spine of even the most fearless. "Well, I'll leave you to your reunion."

I leave as quickly as I can before I do anymore damage with Tris. I already had the fallout from the knife incident to deal with now this. With a sigh I head to my apartment to think about things, alone.

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I am trying not to panic. All they said was there was an attack on an initiate, a transfer. I have had a horrible feeling since posting the rankings that Tris was in danger. She placed higher than anyone expected. Peter especially was livid, even though his face only looked calm. That made his reaction all the more alarming to me.

I make my way to the infirmary, trying not to burst through the door and give myself away. Eric and Logan are standing off to the side, talking in whispers. I shoot a glare at Eric as I move forward. He gives me hard eyes before he rolls his and looks back to Logan.

I still don't trust him. Max, Harrison and Logan might be reassuring me that Eric has only ever been trying to play a role but it isn't all an act. Living with Marcus for all those years has taught me to never trust the surface.

When I see who is in the bed I am confused for a moment, then relief washes over me. I have a moment to feel horrible for being so happy that it isn't Tris laying there bandaged and bloody, but Edward.

I am able to keep my face and body free of anything that would give that away. Logan approaches me along with Harrison. I look to them to get the report. "We aren't sure who attacked him and stabbed him with a butter knife to his eye. The doctor feels it best to keep him in a medically induced coma until we can get a better idea if he will lose the eye completely. We think that it might be able to be salvaged because the attack wasn't completed. An initiate heard the scuffle and called out for the lights which stopped it from going further."

I nod and cast eyes to Eric who is standing a ways away from us, arms crossed over his chest. He has a scowl on his face but I can't read anything else from other than that. While I can at least admit, grudgingly, that losing Edward as the top initiate might be causing his anger I think it is something else. I just can't place it.

That is why I don't, have never and most likely will never be able to trust Eric. Because I don't know what is under the hard eyes, cruel sneers, or emotionless mask. Because for all I know he could be another Marcus, only worse because Eric is highly trained in ways to inflict pain.

I turn my attention back to Logan who is telling Harrison that when he wakes if he can identify the attackers they will be prosecuting fully.

"What of his status as an initiate?" I ask but without any real hope. His injury will be seen a weakness and they weed out the weak here with a ruthlessness that can leave me sick at times.

"I guess that depends on him. I see no reason that he shouldn't stay after he is treated. The doctor seems to think they can repair the damage enough that he will regain most of the use of his eye." Eric's voice comes from beside Harrison, his face still cold and his tone matching.

I fail to mask my surprise at his willingness to keep someone on who might have a weakness to exploit. His willingness to show a semblance of dare I say...compassion.

Eric's lip curls up cruelly and he scoffs at me. "Think what you will _Four_. I have no desire or need to defend myself to you anymore."

With that he looks to Logan, turns and walks out. Harrison lets out a sigh and runs a hand over his face. He gives me a look before shaking his head and turning to leave as well.

Logan stands there, studying me for a while. "I get it you know. Coming from where you did and who you were forced to deal with. Careful, though, that you let your past taint relationships because you are living in the past."

He doesn't give me a chance to respond before I am left alone, looking at Edward before I move to leave the infirmary myself.

I respect Logan for the most part. I don't understand how someone like him can be so close to someone like Eric. That has made me wary of him in the past. His words though do hold truth and something I have been thinking about a lot lately now that I have someone I want in my life.

I just don't know how to overcome years of conditioning in order to protect myself in the blink of an eye. I don't think a person can but am I willing to try? For Tris and myself, I need to at least try.

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I can't believe I almost lost her. I almost lost her and she would have never known how I feel. All because I can't open up. All because I am too damn scared to let anyone in.

She is out as I carry her back to my apartment. I don't know know why I go there but I can't even think about letting anyone else around her at the moment.

I should have taken her to the infirmary then gone after and dealt with Peter and Drew. I couldn't place the other person but from the frame I have a guess and it makes me sick to my fucking stomach. I hurt them, Peter and Drew, and I didn't want to stop. Going to Tris, putting her first, stopped me because otherwise I don't know if I would have.

I lay her on my bed and try not to think thoughts about how right she looks there. How I wish it were different circumstances that she were here. These thoughts don't help me.

A knock on my door brings me out of my thoughts and I cast a look to her before I got it frowning.

Who I see there doesn't make my frown lessen, in fact I began to scowl. "What do you want Eric?"

His face is cold and he raises an eyebrow. "What I _want_ is irrelevant. I am here to check on the status of the initiate that was attacked. Also to get your statement of what you saw and what occurred."

My scowl deepens. "I don't think I know what you are talking about. What do you care anyways?"

Eric is silent, just staring me down and I can tell he is working to restrain himself. I don't know why I bothered to deny things, I am sure someone saw me carrying Tris or it was caught on the cameras.

Eric's tone is soft and deadly. "I know you and I have our issues Four but if you ever doubt that I have ever and will only ever have the best intentions for our faction, I can assure you I will recreate our fight but this time it is you who will be missing a few teeth."

I scoff at him but then see Logan approaching to lean on the wall. "Four we know she was attacked. Someone found Drew and took him to the infirmary. He is claiming they were pulling a prank on her. We need to know what you saw and talk to her if we can."

My lips thin because I didn't see much, not enough to be able to put a lie to what they are going to claim. I know with everything in me that they had no intention of just pulling a prank though. Logan and Eric see this, or must see it in my eyes because Logan sighs and runs a hand over his face.

Eric's jaw clenches and he gets a small tick in his eye. "If we can't disprove that it was nothing more than a prank gone wrong then we can't do anything more than lower their rankings. Drew is already gone. Peter I can and will lower significantly. Al…."

I let out a growl at the coward's name, interrupting Eric for a moment. It was so brief and I might have missed it had I not been glaring at him, but I swear he gave the smallest nod of agreement to my outburst.

"Al is gone as well. What is the initiates status and can I…"

When I step forward, without even thinking about, as if to physically block Eric. Logan growls and steps forward.

"Cut this shit out now you two." He barks and I see that Eric had stepped forward, puffed up as soon as he saw me moving.

Eric side eyes Logan and turns his head back to me slowly, glaring the entire time. We hold eyes like that for a few seconds before he turns to Logan.

"You deal with him." He spits out and stalks off.

I watch his back, glaring the entire time. I know now why I will never trust or like Eric. Because as soon as the image of Eric being near Tris popped into my head it was replaced with the image of my Mother with Marcus hovering over her prone and beaten form.

I look at Eric and all I see is Marcus. Smooth talking, perfect mask, able to use logic to get out of anything or convince anyone of anything. The way he uses intimidation and cruelty as tools to shape others. I look at Eric and the way he trains the initiates or how he approaches things in Dauntless, then I hear people saying it is for the good of the faction, and all I can fucking see is Marcus.

That is all I will ever see because that is all there is to Eric. I am sure of this.

Logan doesn't take too much of my time. I do let him take a look at Tris, he tells me they will allow her to remain there but she will need to return to the dorms the next day. I can see his anger at Tris' condition. At the circumstances that are going to keep a coward in our faction. His anger makes me feel only slightly better but not by much.

When he leaves I go to clean up. By the time I have cleaned my hands and gotten an ice pack, I turn to see Tris is awake and looking at me warily.

I hate that look in her eyes, it wrenches my gut in two.

"Your hands." She croaks.

"My hands are none of your concern." I say more sharply than I meant to. I move to her and rest my knee on the mattress, leaning over her to put the ice pack under her head.

I go to pull away but she reaches out to touch the cut on my lip. I see her hesitate for a moment and I tense. Not even sure if I want her to stop. It lasts a second and then her finger is gently moving around the cut. So lightly that I wouldn't know they were there but for the current of electricity that is coursing from her fingertips to my skin.

She doesn't stop at the cut, but continues to move her fingers along my mouth. My eyes flutter closed and I know I need to stop this because all I can think about right now is kissing her.

"Tris." I say softly in an almost whisper. "I'm all right."

"Why were you there?" She asks letting her hand drop.

"I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream." I say with a shrug.

"What did you do to them?" She asks and her eyes move to my hands quickly. I look for disgust or fear but I don't see that. I am not surprised, more relieved.

"Drew was taken to the infirmary." I reply. "Peter and Al ran. Drew claimed they were just trying to scare you or pull a prank."

"Is Drew in bad shape?" Is that hope in her voice.

"He'll live." I reply bitterly and then sigh. "In what condition I can't say."

A smirk tilts her lips upward, again I feel the urge to kiss her. She squeezes my arm though. "Good." She says in that voice filled with fire. Then a moment later she begins to cry. I know it isn't from being weak. I think it must be shock and anger all combining.

I crouch beside the side of the bed and gently move my hand to the side of her face, brushing my thumb along her cheekbone.

"Tris….as far as this being reported…"

"No!" She calls out through her tears. "I don't want them to think I'm scared."

I nod in understand. "I figured you would say that. It is also out of my hands Tris. Drew already reported the attack himself in a way but it was also somewhat caught on the cameras. I don't know what will happen to the three of them for sure but I wanted you to know it being reported doesn't make you weak."

Tris closes her eyes and gets quiet. Then she opens her eyes and sighs. "You think it would be a bad idea if I sat up?"

"I'll help you." I say and move to help her. As I am doing so I see her fighting herself to show any amount of pain and one again, like with her fight with Peter, I marvel at her strength of character.

"You can let yourself be in pain." I tell her and soften my eyes as I look at her. "It's just me here."

She bites her lip a little. There is silence as his hand goes to cover mine while I hold the ice pack to the back of my head.

"I suggest you rely on your transfer friends to protect you from now on." I suggest, knowing that Peter is still going to be around at least.

"I thought I was." She replies and looks down. A sob tears from her chest and she presses a hand to her forehead, rocking slowly back and forth. "But Al…"

"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation." I reply with a frown and speaking softly. "He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason."

She nods but I can tell she doesn't believe it.

"The others won't be as jealous of you if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real."

"You think I have to _pretend_ to be vulnerable?" She asks incredulously.

I think you have to force yourself to allow any, much less show any. I think to myself.

"Yes, I do." I reply instead.

I take the ice pack from her, my fingers sliding against hers, and hold it against her head myself. She puts her hand down to relax her arm. The tension gets thick again so I make myself stand.

"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you" I start out saying "but you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."

Her face goes clear of emotion as she looks at me. "I don't think I can do that." Her voice is flat, dead, as she looks at me.

"You have to."

"I don't think you _get_ it." Her face flushes with anger. "They touched me."

My body tenses and all I feel is the fire of rage coursing through me. My hand tightens around the ice pack. "Touched you…" I repeat, my voice as cold as my eyes.

"Not...in the way you're thinking." She hurriedly explains and clears her throat. "But...almost."

She looks away and I hate that they have lessened something inside of her. I want to make them pay. To hurt like she is and has.

We sit in silence as I work to try and keep myself from moving because if I do I will go after them again. Drew will be easy to find at least.

She looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I don't want to say this but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?"

I see her battling herself. Knowing I am right and that she still has the others to worry about. I hate to put that doubt in her mind about the others but if one could turn another could as well.

She finally nods.

"But please, when you see an opportunity…" I move a hand to her cheek, tilting her head up to look at me. "Ruin them."

A slow smirk crosses her face and her eyes light with the fire I love so much. "You're a little scary, Four."

The craving to have her say my name, my real name, is so strong in me right now. Almost as much as I crave to kiss her.

"Do me a favor and don't call me that."

"What should I call you then?"

"Nothing…" I stroke her cheek and smile a little to ease her confusion. "Yet."

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I can't put my finger on it...but there is something off about Tris and her sims. Her first one, something happened that shouldn't have been able to happen. The data showed one blip that was gone as fast as it appeared. Her times are phenomenal and the number of fears are low but not alarmingly so. Nothing really suggests that she is divergent in the data.

Everything in my instincts and observation of her screams at me she is. Eric has been watching closely and that has me on edge. I don't know what to believe anymore about if he is really working with Jeanine or not. No matter how I have been trying to, I can't bring myself to trust him. I don't know if I ever will. I don't trust many and that might be part of my issue with being able to crack through Tris' walls she has going on.

We shouldn't do it but we are finding more reasons to see each other, seek each other out, than ever before. The physical attraction is almost blinding but it is more with her. There is a connection with her I had never hoped to have before. Honestly, was perfectly happy with the thought that I would never have something like that.

The day that Tris dropped into that net I woke up and faced the reality that I didn't want to live that way. I wanted everything that I was discovering with her. The problem was that we were both hiding things and until one of us reached out in trust to the other….it would never work.

I watch Tris walking with her friends and wait until I know she sees me. She is naturally curious. Insanely so, terrifyingly so. But that curiosity will lead her to follow me, and I want her to. Because tonight...I am going to reach out trust to the only person besides Amar I have ever wanted to do so with. Tris.

I know she is following me by the time I reach the fear room.

"Since you're here you might as well go in with me."

"Into your fear landscape?"

"Yes." I reply simply and wait with my breath held as she walks towards me.

"I can do that?"

"The serum connects you to the program but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"You would let me see that?"

I wait a moment and hold her eyes with my own. "Why else do you think I'm going in?" I ask quietly. "There are some things I want to show you."

After we have injected each other, I offer her my hand. She slides hers into mine then I open the door and she follows me into the room. I never let go of her hand.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four." I say quietly.

The door shuts behind us, leaving us in darkness.

"What's your real name?" She asks in an almost whisper.

"See if you can figure that out too." I reply with a smirk she can't see.

We come out of the fears when the lights come on. Revealing the long, narrow room with the busted brick walls and a cement floor.

"That's it?" She asks and looks around. "Those were your worst fears? Why do you only have four…." her voice trails off as I see her making the connections. "Oh…" She looks over her shoulder at me. "That's why they call you…."

She trails off as she looks at me. How I must look to her. Wondering when she will look at me with disgust or pity. Either one I wouldn't be able to bare. I also can't help but to look at her in wonder and awe at how she stood up to Marcus, for me. How she put herself in the way…..for me.

I pull her to me, my lips finding her cheek and bury my face in her neck. Breathing her in. I knew I was already tumbling for her but between this and almost losing her….I know I have fallen for Tris Prior.

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I shouldn't have yelled at her. I shouldn't have but I had to do something. I can't believe she slapped me! I can't fucking blame her...but still.

Now she is missing and I can't handle it. I have looked all over the compound. Her friends don't know but no surprise there.

It isn't until I hear the low mutterings of Logan as he talks to Max that I hear Tris' name and the fact that Eric has gone after her. She went to Erudite apparently and was found by Jeanine.

Fuck!

I am in a panic as I race to where I know he will be waiting for her.

I calm myself as I walk into the room. Eric is hovering near her and I feel myself go cold.

"What are you doing?" I ask him coldly.

"Leave the room." Eric says in a voice that lets me know he is not welcoming my intrusion.

"No." I say firmly. "She's just a foolish girl. There's no need to drag her here and interrogate her."

"Just a foolish girl…" Eric trails off and looks to me and Tris. "While her actions are certainly very, very foolish...I have to disagree. If she were just a foolish girl, she wouldn't be ranked first, now would she?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and look at her through the spaces between my fingers. I will her to show some kind of vulnerability, to not be so hard in this moment. To play the part of a little girl.

"I...I was just embarrassed and didn't know what to do." She picks up what I was trying to tell her silently as she puts her hands in her pockets and looks to the ground.

I don't know who she manages it...but she produces tears and starts sniffling as she looks back up to Eric.

"I tried to….and…." She shakes her head like she can't make herself say the words.

"You tried what?" Eric asks, his eyebrow quirked and a glint in his eyes.

"Kiss me." I say for her. "And I rejected her, and she went running off like a five-year-old. There's really nothing to blame her for but stupidity."

I swallow the bile I feel at having to say all that and we both wait for his reaction.

Eric, if he knows or thinks I am involved with an initiate, would use it for everything it is worth. I gambled here but she is worth it.

Eric looks to me and Tris then laughs for a little bit. "Isn't he a little too old for you, Tris?" He asks smiling with a raised eyebrow. Acting for the world as if this was just a friendly conversation going on.

Tris wipes her cheek like she is wiping a tear. "Can I go now?"

Eric crosses his arms over his chest and shrugs. "Fine. But you are not allowed to leave the compound without supervision again, you hear me?" His voice is hard, his eyes are hard and he holds her eyes intensely. Willing her to obey without question.

He doesn't wait for her to answer before he turns to me. "And _you_ ….had better make sure none of the transfers leave this compound again. And that none of the others try to kiss you.

I roll my eyes at that. "Fine."

She leaves before I can stop her but I end up finding her shortly after. I find her sitting on the pavement, her arms wrapped around her knees.

She stands up quickly and looks at me, her arms crossed over her chest.

"What?" She bites out.

"Are you alright?" I ask her with my eyebrows furrowed. I touch her cheek gently but she pats my hand away.

"Well," She starts out and I can already feel the sarcasm dripping from that one word "first I got reamed out in front of everyone, and then I had to chat with a woman who's trying to destroy my old faction. Then Eric almost tossed my friends out of Dauntless, so year, it's shaping out to be a pretty great day, _Four_."

I internally wince, shake my head and look around.

"Why do you care anyway?" She asks bitterly. "You can be either cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend." She tenses for a moment before she continues. "You can't play both parts at the same time."

Her calling me cruel, comparing me to Marcus….it just sets me off. I scowl at her. "I am not cruel. I was protecting you this morning. How do you think Peter and his friends would have reacted if they discovered that you and I were…" I sigh and shake my head. "You would never win. They would always call your ranking a result of my favoritism rather than your skill."

She opens her mouth, shuts it, opens it again, then she finally shuts it again and flushes.

"You didn't have to insult me to prove something to them." She says defensively.

"And you didn't have to run off to your brother just because I hurt you." I throw back at her. I sigh and rub at the back of my neck. "Besides..it worked didn't it?"

"At my expense." She retorts and looks away.

"I didn't think it would affect you this way." I look down and shrug. "Sometimes I forget that I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt."

I am surprised when I feel her lips pressing against mine. "You're brilliant you know that?' She shakes her head before speaking again. "You always know exactly what to do."

"Only because I've been thing about this for a long time." I reply then kiss her back briefly. "How I would handle it, if you and I…" I pull back and remember something, smiling as I look at her. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend, Tris?"

"Not exactly." She says with a playful smirk. "Why? Do you want me to?"

Do I want her to? Hell yeah I do!

I slip my hands over her neck and under her chin, tilting her head back so her forehead meets mine. I stand there, eyes closed, breathing her in. It takes me several moments to work up the courage but finally I do.

"Yes." I say quietly, smiling until I realize that if Eric finds out…"You think we convinced him you're just a silly girl?"

"I hope so." She replied. "Sometimes it helps to be small. I'm not sure I convinced the Erudite though."

Jeanine. I remember now. I can't help but frown and hold her eyes. "There's something I need tell you."

"What is it?"

I shake my head and look around. "Not now. Meet me back here at eleven thirty. Don't tell anyone where you're going."

She nods and I turn to leave quickly.

That night I tell her about my suspicions. Divergents, Erudite, Max and Eric. I open up to her completely.

She in return tells me about her divergence but also about her sister. Elle had been training before Tris even transferred and Tris took part as well. They both had clues they might be, their mother found out for sure when Tris took her aptitude test. She was hiding it well now. She parents had helped her go in with a plan.

She was also sure that her sister is Divergent and that she would only ever consider Dauntless. I knew in that instance that as soon as it was possible, we would begin to train Elle.

I think in that moment, I knew what I wanted with Tris. I knew I wanted her family to become my own. When I opened up to Tris I didn't just do that with her but for those she cared about too. For her sister, brother and parents.

We would find a way to keep Erudite from ruining Abnegation. I had to, for Tris.


End file.
